Valentine's Day

Will you be treating your waifu to a special night this year Sup Forums?

oh god not this

even on an ironic level this is pathetic

All the waifus in the world and you chose Unikitty?

post a better one
you cant

Nice choice of waifu user. But for even attempting this you have flung yourself into a level of embarrassment and degeneracy beyond comprehension.

>waifuing a fucking lego
Also timestamp plz

>Meanwhile on Sup Forums

into the cringe folder it goes

Only you and me, baby.

>tfw a kissless, unloved virgin with no waifu
how do you do it Sup Forums?
how did you meet your waifu?

You don't meet her, she meets you.

>unikitty
>waifu
/mlp/ is a few boards down you faggot.

>waifushaming
You should be ashamed of yourselves.

I don't want a waifu.

>waifushamingshaming
I think they're entitled to their opinion.

>Made entirely of hard, smooth plastic
>Face is an ever-changing sticker; no contours or lips
>Body assembled from interlocking blocks with sharp corners and seams that could easily pinch the skin of your dick or outright tear it if you thrust to hard and fast

Unikitty is a waifu that functions better in theory than in practice.

>Unikitty is a waifu that functions better in theory than in practice.

But user, ALL waifus exist only in theory. That's what makes them waifus.

Hah! Joke's on you asshole, my waifu doesn't exist!

And I'm a sad, lonely man

No, for some reason I just...feel nothing this year. Keep forgetting it's even a thing.

I have become emotionally numb to the entire holiday.

The same thing I do every night, Pinky. Try to have a lucid dream and fuck her there

Just fuck Moose already. That sexual tension's been there for 6 years now.

>waifus exist only in theory

DELET THIS

Beg pardon?

>Reminder that if your waifu hasn't become real yet it's because you don't want her bad enough

Any luck once?

This desu

I've tulpaed as hard as I can tulpa. I cannot tulpa any harder than this.

Who knows, we may even consummate our relationship.

If you are trying to say you still failed, then you aren't even trying

Protein powder and grilled chicken all after a hardy work out

...

I'm probably just gonna numb myself into an emotional coma for the day while I regret not asking out a girl from work for tomorrow who has been pretty blatant about having a thing for me. She's too fucking good for me and I'm scared of fucking shit up with her and the group of friends we hang out with. Sorry for the blog, but it's hard for me to talk about personal shit with people.

>>Reminder that if your waifu hasn't become real yet it's because you don't want her bad enough

I once fucked a lifesized stuffed display doll of Sally from The Nightmare Before Christmas in the backroom of a video store when I had to close by myself.

That was as close as I ever came to making my waifu real and I was not proud of myself afterward.

At least be classy and go to Dairy Queen.

At this point have lucid dreams about once a week, still have trouble "summoning" persons. There was a couple of rather lewd ones, but they didn't involve mah waifu

Ask her out, you fucking pussy.

I need more details. This sounds amazing and I'm also jelly as fuck.

user, You won't fuck it up. If you were good enough to get her to flirt with her, you're good enough to ask her out. Even if you fuck it up, she'll pass it off. Do it

Well, that's closer than most anons get to fucking their waifu. And the fact that it was a stuffed doll would make her movie-accurate, at least.

But yes, user, you should not be proud of what you've done and you'll have to carry the burden of that memory with you for the rest of your life.

Ha, loser.

..........

I wonder if Capcom ever did that...

It's like, on the one hand I'm a dateless, friendless virgin with the emotional and social intelligence of a 10-year-old despite being nearly 30, who will probably die in that state, and I can understand the desire for some kind of emotional intimacy even if it's entirely one-sided and borderline delusional.

Yet on the other hand, I feel like actually having a Valentine's dinner with Elsa would be crossing a line I'm nowhere near desperate enough to cross.

Did the doll call you afterward? Did you ignore her calls? Did you break her plush heart?

... Well the important thing is everyone's okay.

>THERE'S SOMEONE IN THE DOLL TODAY

>I need more details.

You don't need that. Nobody needs that.

All I'll say is that after the holidays, we gave away display items to the employees as was standard practice. One of the managers for the Jack life-sized display doll. They gave me first offer to take the Sally one since I was next highest ranking.

I passed because dear god what did I do oh god.

In retrospect, those display dolls go for several thousand dollars on the aftermarket. I should have taken her home if not to fuck her but to sell her on eBay.

My life is nothing but a string of bad choices.

>My life is nothing but a string of bad choices.

Posting on Sup Forums is one of them.

Yes but why Unikitty?

MFW This Thread.

Also, there is a bit missing from that cake.

Include me in the screencap.

>he hasn't made a plushie of his waifu to cuddle with

Sally is a sentient human-size ragdoll.

You fucked a human-sized ragdoll made in the likeness of Sally.

That's pretty close, user. You just missed the sentient part, so it's more like you fucked Sally's dead body.

The chin is half the size of her head

You bet I will OP! Ash is 10/10

No, user. Stop. Just stop.

Unikitty's chin is pretty big as well.

No I'll be crawling into a bottle tomorrow night as I lie in bed and think about the women in my life who have driven nails into my heart.

...

At least you won't die a pillow virgin.

"In Theory" implies that waifus can be proved to exist, tho.

>and you chose Unikitty?

You don't choose your waifu you fucking newfag

So are you saying that was actually raped by that Sally doll?

Considering how terrible he says he felt afterwards, I'd argue that user was indeed raped.

>yfw normal wife

Reminder that Darkstalkers are Not Dead :^)

I'm still mad

...

>Considering how terrible he says he felt afterwards, I'd argue that user was indeed raped.

Horny plush girls are always trying to take advantage of naive anons.

I was mostly complaining about the kinds of dipshits that act like they have seasonal waifus and just abandon them when the new hotness comes along but that works too

>I once fucked a lifesized stuffed display doll of Sally from The Nightmare Before Christmas in the backroom of a video store when I had to close by myself.
God dammit I expect this shit from /k/ or Sup Forums

Must be nice. I mean unless she's an evil bitch but that's not the impression I'm getting here.

The only thing sadder than people with waifus is people who care about faithfulness to waifus.

Tell us about it user.....

>Go to work at Video Store USA
>Coworker calls out sick so it's just you
>You and the life size display doll of Sally setup at the front of the store
>As the day progresses, you notice she seems to be shifting positions whenever you aren't looking
>She always seems to be facing you, staring at you
>You reposition her to face the front of the store, assuming some customer is messing with her
>As you grab her thigh to swivel her back around, you hear an aroused giggle
>You dart up and look around, but there's no one else there
>The night shift wanes on and even though there have been no customers in the store for hours, the Sally doll keeps turning to face you whenever you take your eyes off her.
>When your back is completely turned to her while you stock the shelves, you hear more giggling, sighing and heaving
>You're starting to get freaked out and anxiously counting the minutes before close
>Closing time, you want to get out of there as fast as possible. You go to the front of the store, lock the doors and pull down the gate.
>As you bend over to latch the gate to the floor, you feel pinch on your buttocks, like someone just grabbed your ass and hear a feminine tiger growl
>You jump up and swing yourself around, backing into the gate. The only one there is the Sally doll and she seems a lot closer than she was a minute ago.
>You run to the backroom to count down the register and just get out of there.
>You finish counting the til, everything balances, you clock out on the time machine, grab your coat and rush to the office door to make your escape.
>You open the door and there she is, the Sally doll, standing there motionless in the doorway.
>You scream and back away as she stands there, still on her metal display stand, looking at you lifelessly. Someone must be playing a prank on you.
>Slowly, you try to creep around her and get through the door.

The degeneracy is potent.

Bad end.

Why would you defile poor Sally like that?

>waifuing a slut

smuganimegrill.jpg

[bug noises]

...

>Porn makes people happy
>Unikitty would be against porn
That comic is so out of character it hurts to read.

Oh, um, okay. Sharing is caring, I guess.

Blub blub.

>Suddenly, her hand clutches your arm and her head turns to face you. She smiles and winks.
>Overcome with fear, you feel your knees wobble and go limp, your head gets woozy and you begin to slump to the floor in a faint.
>You never feel yourself hit the floor; soft, plush arms reach out and catch you, lifting you up before everything goes black.
>You awaken moments late. You can't move your arms or legs.
>Your vision focuses and you find that you're on the floor in one of the video aisles, your arms and legs and have been secured to the heavy metal racks with the zip ties you normally use to seal product bins.
>You can't break free. And now you're noticing that you've been stripped naked.
>You hear a female voice humming with delight.
>Terrified, you glance as far behind yourself as you can strain your neck.
>You see the Sally doll, also disrobed of her little patchwork dress. She is pulling the stuffing out of the plush toys from the merch aisle and cramming it into her bosom to enhance the size of her chest.
>Once she has reached D cups or so, she carefully sews the open fabric back up.
>She then turns toward you and sees you looking at her. She smiles and begins crawling on all fours toward you.
>You scream for help, but it's the small hours of the night and the rest of the shopping mall has been cleared out; no one can hear you and no one is coming to save you.
>The Sally doll climbs overtop of you. As her lower body passes your face, you can see that she used her needle, fabric and stuffing to make some cosmetic alterations to her crotch.
>There are now several soft, pillowy folds and a deep recess full of loose stuffing
>The Sally doll reorients herself and sits down on your chest.
>Your hyperventilating in terror now and, seeing this, she tries to calm you by rest her soft, fluffy, new ad improve rack on your face.
>You scream and scream, but your cries are muffled by the plush material.
>You then feel something equally soft grinding yo

Why.

There need to be more horror movies where the dolls come to life and suck your dick instead of stab you to death.

I'd watch that.

Only real waifus in the whole thread, cartoon characters cant be waifus, and I suppose neither comic characters since a waifu by definition comes from Japanese 2D media.

Look what Sup Forumsnime fags think about your "waifus"

Happy February 14th Sup Forums!

Why are you here?

Just invent your very own thing.

...Goddamn it user.

...

Persona 5 stood me up, so no

Wow you're right Fuck that guy.

>not playing For Honor

gotta backlog of other things to get through, wound up leaving MSGV shelved for a long while so I want to at least complete that before the revised P5 release

posting waifus i see

Did you come inside it?

You did, didn't you?

I'll cook up some spaghetti

Post more waifu dates

Why is Oppaicifica so special

How could anyone waifu that...thing.

...

>says the namefag with the slut waifu

>She smiles and begins crawling on all fours toward you.
that sounds terrifying