Holy shit. I don't think I've ever seen a film with so little substance...

Holy shit. I don't think I've ever seen a film with so little substance. It's literally only kept going by constantly referencing the original. I have actually never seen anything as cynical and dishonest put to the screen. It puts even The Force Awakens to shame.

Jeez chill out man

No.

it's Universal movie, and thats most lazy cashgrab studio i know. they either constantly reboot shits (latest example Mummy - 4th or 5th time since 30s) or hold long lasting franchises like Fast and Furious.

>It puts even The Force Awakens to shame.
I haven't seen Jurassic World, but that's literally impossible.

You should see Jurassic World then and believe in the impossible.

I agree wholeheartedly op. Watching that jaded piece of shit was the worst cinema experience of my life.

It really is, and this is coming from someone that thinks TFA is the worst Star Wars movie.

>I don't think I've ever seen a film with so little substance

Guess you've never watched a kubrick film.

...

>Male lead knows how to train raptors evidently because he's an ex military badass american hero
>Villain wants to weaponize raptors for no logical reason but it sounds cool
>Have to fight ultra badass mega dinosaur
>They know absolutely nothing about it even tho it was made at the park she's the head of
>Scientists never told her it can hide it's thermal readings until they open its gate
>Never told her it in can camouflage until she sends a group of men after it in a jungle setting
>Had no idea it could talk to raptors until they assemble a team of raptors to help fight it
>Kids are whiny with no reason for it, just for forced drama
>Older brother is supposed to be a smooth ladies man but he just creepily stares at girls and nothing comes of it, he has no love interest, there was no point of adding this detail at all
>They're also genius mechanics who can fix a 20 year old broken down jeep in about an hour with whatever tools and gas happened to be lying around
>Claire never cares at all that she directly caused dozens of people to be slaughtered, including her assistant
>Is one of the films heroes
>Original JP shows how even competent experts can get in over their heads when they tamper with something they can't fully understand
>Jurassic World is about a bunch of incompetent idiots doing everything wrong
>Huge embarrassingly obvious product placements everywhere

>Holy shit. I don't think I've ever seen a film with so little substance.
You should watch The Force Awakens then.

You act like you're surprised. All sequel rehashes have been this way over the past 7 years or whatever. Its complete failure, but people still see them because of the name. Hollywood figures it can make a quick buck off of normies.

what i was hoping for;
original plot that strayed away from the originals, while staying true to what made the originals great; a fear of badass, cutting edge looking dinosaurs and a sense of peril/frantic escapism

what i got;
shit visuals, muh megasaur, more fucking child characters (literally only succeeded in the first one, fuck the child lead theme), advertisements, usain bolt in heels

t. didn't read the entire post

original*, sorry, 3 was incredibly mediocre and 2 is literally unwatchable

2 is watchable if you switch/reverse the roles of heroes and villains.

2 is good if you realise that it's just a King Kong remake

nothing can redeem the scene with the little black girl launching the velociraptor out of a window via gymnastics

her character and that scene are lodged in my mind as two of the most annoying things in cinematic history. that movie is irredeemable, even with the cool ingen guys

Byrce was the only one to keep me interested throughout even with her weird 90s esqe haircut.

This guy is right guys, cmon i know you want to justify it, but stop defending this piece of shit.

No sweetie, women wearing high heels can definitely outrun dinosaurs.

those fucking glass hamster balls, that was the last straw for me

dont mind me just drinkingn a coke next to my harley thinkem of the next GoTG movie wink wink

gr8b8m8

hmm

Glad to see people coming around in it being a giant piece of shit. I still don't understand how it earned modestly positive reviews.

I live in Hawaii

News here months ago picked up a sudden influx of military vehicles (armored personnel carriers, helicopters, tanks), studio soldiers and mercenaries for a Jurassic World shooting

Looks to me that the sequel is a rehash of The Lost World

>kubrick
>substance

Oh right, I forgot I was on Sup Forums.

chad posting
virgin posting

first one used the trex sparingly
jw did the same but for all the wrong reasons

is not THAT bad

I don't know user, I think you might be gay.

Imagine being this underage and hormonal
Just watch porn if you want to see le ass and le boobies ffs
Doesn't make it a good movie

>cant chill
>gay

>Older brother is supposed to be a smooth ladies man but he just creepily stares at girls and nothing comes of it, he has no love interest, there was no point of adding this detail at all

literally Sup Forums the movie

MOMMY

This 100%.
That was mindbogglingly awful

No it's not.

Jurassic Park was shit in the first place. If anything it's consistent with the franchise.

>hero is best friends with all the raptors
>evil military man wants to make raptor army
>bigger badder meaner t rex gets out with its superpowers and convinces the raptors to fight for it
>they have to get the old t rex to come out of retirement and team up with the raptors and sea monster to kill super t rex
>the day is saved and the tens of thousands of people stranded at the park with dinosaurs on the loose are forgotten as raptor trainer kisses scientist lady
It's like it was written by a 10 year old, and by written I mean he mashed dinosaur action figures together and made roaring sounds until they knew what to film. It's unreal to think that this is one of the best selling movies of all time. Like living in the twilight zone.

In the originals you never got the sense that the people running the park were monumental retards. Things fell apart because of an outside force (Nedry, the bleeding heart conservationists) but everyone still acted in a believable and competent manner. In JW the park collapses because the people running the park (which has somehow been smoothly operating for a significant amount of time) were dumbasses who kept fucking up. That's what really ruined the movie for me.

That said, I liked the whole "training the dinosaurs" angle even if it wasn't implemented well. It was the first movie to really treat them like actual animals instead of monsters.

>tfw still haven't seen this trash