Somebody says something awkward in real life

>somebody says something awkward in real life
>I look at a certain point in space pretending that a nonexistent camera is staring directly at my face while recording my reaction

HA HA I'm not the only one that d-does this, r-right?

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pls respond

what

>walking around the empty house
>imagine someone else is seeing the world through my eyes
>try to act cool and normal

yes everyone does this, you aren't special

>self conscious
>aware of this but that only makes it worse
>recursive loop intensifies

Are you me?

oh no I extremely occasionally do this too
am I really autistic

>Watch Truman Show
>Wonder if everyone knows about the sock I used to wipe my cock on for 3 months

>pretend I'm doing a celebrity vlog when I'm doing something alone

autism rates are going to be absolutely insane after a decade or two of the twitch era. gonna probably be a real issue.

>hear a song I like
>imagine I'm in a movie and it is playing in a scene

shut the fuck up, im not autistic

>t. anonymous shitposter on Sup Forums

HOLY FUCK I DO THIS
i always imagine people i know spying on me through my eyes

yes now gib us our bank info , we need to but some skittles

>I say something awkward in real life
>I look at a certain point in space pretending that a nonexistent camera is staring directly at my face while recording my reaction
>Person I was speaking to looks confused and walks away

>lead a nice normal life
>pretend to be a frog on the internet

Autism isn't something you develop because of outside influences, it's a disability you're born with.

>imagine im playing it in a highschool at the stage when i was young

>driving to various driving tunes i have in a playlist
>imagine i'm le epic transporter

This, and
>making bowl of cereal
>overcomplicate every step and narrate the details in that accent every british YouTube gamer has

this tbqhwy

I definitely look away to a "camera" like Jim from The Office when someone says some shit

Goose we know it's (you).

>watching a film where a character does something really embarrassing or cringe worthy
>Have to pause the film and hold my head in my hands and wait for the awkwardness to dissipate before I can continue watching

oh man thank fuck im not the only one.

same here boys, sometimes when im working I imagine someone I know is watching me through my eyes and for some reason I feel pressure and a lot of the time ill fumble a bit.

>People in the future can spy people from the past's daily lives
I truly hope this never happens

>listening to a song you like
>imagine you're playing it in front of all your coworkers, classmates from highschool and that girl you have a crush on
>imagine you're somehow playing every instrument

jesus christ user

This hits too close to home. But i usually imagine that im the main singer that simultaneously plays the guitar.

Yeah you're right why would you want to be the bassist or drummer

>alone in a room with a mirror
>start "acting" imaginary scene out in front of it

>Are you, talking to me?
>Are YOU. Talking to ME?

it's so cool to finally get to hear that there are actual people on this planet as autistic as me.

I used to cover every circular opening in the bathroom, or every circular thing, with TP because I thought all of them were cameras watching me shit

The cameras were the TP.

literally me

are these things actually "autistic"

>tfw do exactly this
>tfw she was the one
>tfw haven't talked to her in 15 years
>tfw 32

>hear song I like
>imagine it playing when drinking and having fun at the cottage
>imagine the song playing like a movie soundtrack and not actually playing on the speakers

>someone says something weird
>calmly crane head 90 degrees and start talking at nothing

>scene where two characters who love each other do normal stuff like eat together, make small talk or cuddle
>have to pause and go stare at the night sky for a few minutes

hi felix

That's always a Rapist Face now.

This

>in highschool
>fantasize about someone shooting up the school so that I can heroically save everyone

>in highschool
>fantasize about someone shooting up the school

>in highschool
>fantasize about shooting up the school

what if it's a primus song?

unironically this

underrated

>In highschool
>bullet

Your ancestors were probably religious fanatics. A glowing screen is your new buglight god

you mean like this?
youtu.be/2LTnd0BdgtU?t=45s

what did he mean by this

Pew u ded

same, only for me it's even more extreme.
>a character in the film experiences/does something embarassing
>get a headache and my hands start shaking
>have to turn the movie off and lay down for at least 2 hours before continuing to watch
it's just tiring, but i can't help it

If you want to act to a camera why don't you set up a camera

very good point
rich vloggers are just frogs who took that one step more

>wipe ass
>smell the paper afterwards
>cum
>put fingers covered in nut as close to nose as possible and inhale deeply

No, it's called having a brain.

>imagine you're on a talk show telling a funny anecdote
>say certain parts of it out loud and make funny faces

Sometimes it kinds of hits me how autistic I am, but I still keep doing it.

>riding in the bus
>rain
>fitting musing is headphones
>imagine that I'm in the clip of this song

W-what

>song about a gf
>never had a gf
>immersion ruined
hate when this happens

It honestly feels better knowing I'm not the only one who does this shit.

This was also really bad for me as a kid. I always thought there was someone watching me.

Dunno if this is just my own autism or if anyone else does this
>just minding my own business
>suddenly remember embarrassing or cringe worthy moment of regret
>pretend to feel fake pain or recieve a fake injury ie: pretending to pop out "wolverine claws" from my hand, or walking around with one eye closed to pretend I lost an eye to "atone" for my past mistakes

No-one does this. Stop fucking lying.

I just start swearing and make stupid faces when I remember something like that. If it's a really embarrassing memory I often feel like punching myself, but I never do it.

Mercury-based vaccines, malnutrition, and recursive consumption of specific media are correlated with autism. Nice try, it's not 100% genetic.

I usually itch the skin on the back of my left hand until it turns yellowish and feels slick. It's never ceases to calm me down despite the minor discomfort.

I sometimes pretend I have scissors in my hand and stab my face repeatedly after remembering something embarrassing, which is like 20 times a day. I also punch my thigh if I'm sitting down. Or just randomly scream if I'm in my room.

Does anyone else get really uncomfortable when they hear a shitty pop song in public when you're with your relatives? I feel like I'm supposed to act a certain way when I hear those songs. I feel disgust for them but everyone else seems to be able to ignore it/tune it out

I scream out loud IRL when I remember something embarrassing. It fucking sucks when I'm on the bus.

I actually do this, but I was completely unaware of it until recently. I was at a party and some one said something really dumb (I can't remember what) and I just turned away from them and stared off into the distance trying to process what they said. An onlooker lost his shit, drew the whole party's attention to me and what he called my 'The Office' face. I've never seen The Office, my running theory is it's a habit I've built from here when I try to choose a reaction image, pulling a face that best describes what I'm trying to say and then finding one that matches it.

Needless to say I'm really self conscious about it now, I keep analysing past interactions wondering if I was being rude and making an ass of myself by pulling a dumb face. Makes me feel a little better knowing I'm not the only one.

If you hurt yourself a little bit but it reduces stress, how is that any different from self medicating or any other coping strategy?

Neurotypical individuals possess the ability to tune out stimulus.

God damn it.

>Still do this at 24
What am I doing?

My fantasy is usually a bank robbery. I calmly walk up to the guy and punch him out and later turn down interviews regarding my heroic deed.

I'm over 30, I still dream about the folks from high school all the time. that's totally normal right?

>sad song on radio
>turns head slowly
>looks out window longingly
>hopes someone in a car saw it as same song was playing

>chronically masturbate
>after I cum feel immediately bad about it
>think that I am a bad person for masturbating
>sit in the bathroom with open scissors on my cock, thinking if I "cut off the bad part maybe then I'll be good..."
>too scared to close the scissors because my penis is my only friend and is the only thing that makes me feel good anymore
>put scissors away and go on Sup Forums till I stumble on something that turns me on again
>repeat

I'm 22 and all the retarded shit I've done up to this point haunts me. Please tell me I can forget by making new memories. Please tell me it will end

I started taking kratom. It makes me constipated but it also makes me fap a lot less. Been going once a week. Moderation is key. Or drugs

if you keep busy and do make new memories, those things will haunt you less frequently, but every now and then in a quiet moment, you realize they're all still there.

Holy shit I'm 29 and i literally did this yesterday

I thought i was the only one

Everyone does these kind of things, you guys just put an autistic spin on it because no one talks to you.

Going on 28 here, no such luck yet.

The autism is real

I've never seen a woman do/complain these kinds of things so that's half the population. I don't imagine shitskins think about their past. Probably a white male thing if we're honest

Kinda, remember what you were like at seventeen years old? Remember all the embarrassing and cringeworthy shit? At twenty-seven you'll look back and feel the same way about yourself now. It never really ends, just a cycle of new memories. Honestly, I prefer it this way. It's means you've grown as a person. I can only think that if I looked back five years and see nothing wrong with myself it would mean I've been embarrassing myself in ways I'm not aware of.

>I don't imagine shitskins think about their past.

What the fuck are you stupid? That's all they've done for the last years.

>think about high school bullies from over 15 years ago
>think about finding them as adults and saying "remember me?" before imagining what it'd be like to say all the insults you have been repeating and practicing in your head since highschool
>proceed to imagine what it would be like kidnapping them and all the different ways I would torture them
>mostly think about their screams and the look on their face as I castrate them slowly while saying they don't deserve the ability to taint the gene pool with their cruelty

No we think about white people's past and wish it were our own

>see pretty girl
>imagine I'm in a porno with her
Am I the only one ?

>See a pretty girl
>Imagine i have the power to Reject her

I used to be afraid that I'm the star of my own Truman show and thousands of people laugh at my misfortune.

Today I know that's silly. I would be the most boring show in the history of ever. Who would watch a guy sitting in his room and wasting his time?

>imagine a situation where she is begging for my cock
>tell her to fuck off