Most Comfy film of 2017: Valerian

mega.nz/#!I7pyxbrZ!g-9uWP0VPRzyUtEB6E1XYF-O8mY-boS57GATtv2MNuU

go watch it

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It was shit

>no it was C-O-M-F-Y

t.newfag

This was a movie where I thought: "There's no way it's as bad as the critics say it is. It looks so cool!" Turns out it was bad and the critics were right. I was literally rolling my eyes every five minutes and trying not to laugh out loud at the political commentary because there were other people in the theater with me.

I actually liked the casting. Everyone I've ever talked to didn't like them. I'm not sure what everyone wanted instead. Like, you want some chris pratt and some random woman for this shit? I don't get it. They were weird for sure, but I liked it.

What is this shilling?

Two actually charismatic people who can act and look the part the film portrays them as?

I wanted Dan Stevens as the main lead. The problem with Dane is that he was constantly trying to be macho. They should have got someone who actually WAS macho and had good screen presence. I don't care as much about Cara, but they probably could have done better with her as well.

Dehaan is a good actor, cara didn't really have much to act about. Everyone sucks Goslings dick and he's pretty much the same as cara.

>watch this movie for free
>shilling

This movie was shit, fuck off

i enjoyed it

it has that old school feel to it.

even dehane and deleviagne girl while wooden have this innocent charm to them.

Visuals are top notch and the story is really comfy like a satrurday night film you'd catch on channel 5 back in 90s

it was pretty comfy
i don't get why it was critically panned
but it was hardly a masterpiece in any sense. it was entirely average

Dane disappointed me
Cara impressed me since she normally can't act at all
What this meant is that they were roughly both as good as each other despite Dane supposedly being a legitimately good actor

Comfy? Yeah because it.puts you to sleep

>story is really comfy like a satrurday night film you'd catch on channel 5 back in 90s
it was predictable for this very reason

can i masturbate

Great intro.
Some Besson creative scenes.
Utter shit movie with limp acting and bad cast.
2/10

He was shit in this. He spent the whole film doing an impression of Keanu Reeves from 1993.

Movies goes to utter shit at 12 minutes and never recovers, as its built entirely around two absolutely worthless actors.

This movie had beautiful visuals, im waiting for the blu ray.

The leads are reprehensibly miscast. They kill the whole film.

>yfw Rihanna called Cara a 'ten'

It was almost like she was cast as a voice actress specifically for that purpose.

just watched it. thanks for sharing. i found it better than expected and also was beautiful and imaginative. i have zero regrets. though, i feel dehaan was a mediocre choice for this role. i do like him as an actor, though.

Literally too smart for your average millennial

It's not particularly smart at all.

lol exactly what political commentary did you imagine? enlighten us.

Riveting arguments against, fellas. How can anyone compete?

neither millennials, so there's that.

>Like, you want some chris pratt and some random woman for this shit?

Yea. Actors with charisma, preferably. Ones who don't look depressed.

>yfw the meth addict called Rihana's character the best performer in the galaxy

...

the fact that it doesn't have any scenes praising Trump and/or trump's idea, is actually in itself a libertard political commentary. Under the new administration, such piece of propaganda should be banned, plain and simple.

The whole fucking movie is just plain Hollywood propaganda. Muh 6 million aliens on a planet dead, refugees welcome, peace and unity. Pic related did literally nothing wrong.

Regarding acting, the guy was ok, but the chick is a total tool, the way she acts, it's obvious shes a model and not an actress.

This is fake, r-right guys?

she is almost a broom stick and look at that chin. Product of inbreeding, I bet there's some dark shit in that family history

it was shit,she should have been topless. Garbage the movie

Are the two siblings fucking or am y just degenerate? Is this some European incestflick?

Watch Cara eat hot wings and sweat.

youtu.be/sFy3rEG91OU

Jesus she went full miley cyrus

>Pic related did literally nothing wrong.
Well except for genociding a peaceful race of aliens and destroying their home planet.
And then lying and tampering with military records to cover up his crime.
And then torturing that alien to find out information about the other peaceful aliens that would serve as proof of what a piece of shit you are.
And then ordering the those robots to kill everyone, including the soldiers on your side that worked for you as well as the peaceful aliens just so that no one would find out what you did.

But other than all that... sure

every single woman that gets too much attention pull the "bald look" to push it further and see what happens. Only the ones that are insecure beyond measure don't, with the rest is almost a given they will do it at some point.
Pretty much the same with women getting a change of look after a break up. As much as everyone thinks they are complicated, no matter what culture/country they all do the same shit.

Shills are getting desperate

Where the fuck is the amazon version? the only and true HD version.

It's too long and fucking boring
>overly long intro
>cool part in the desert
>boring shit
>boring shit
>completely needless rihanna part that doesnt connect to the rest of the story but takes up 45 minutes of screen time
>boring shit
>end
I like the idea of the ISS growing out of control and some of the alien designs were neat but holy fuck the movie is so boring 90% of the time

>Well except for genociding a peaceful race of aliens and destroying their home planet.
>Alien mother ship remains crash on an unknown planet because it was blown up to save human species from extinction in a war that was raging for years costing lives of millions is considered a planned genocide
This is what you fucking hippies actually believe

maybe don't fight a war right next to a peaceful race of aliens' home planet?
also way to ignore the rest of his actions that are objectively dickhead-tier

I was only ever interested in this film for the visuals, the cinematography and the weird space action.

Probably gonna get comfy and watch it tonight. I was already planning on ignoring the bad actors and terrible plot but hopefully it doesn't become too distracting. I've wanted to see this for a long time actually ever since I looked at some of the concept art

>maybe don't fight a war right next to a peaceful race of aliens' home planet?
I'm sorry, we should have sent an Email to the Aliens that were decimating humans that there is a planet that we really care about and could we please postpone the battle to a different planet because we are afraid that your mother ship might damage it.
Jesus fucking Christ dude, you don't understand how war works do you?

National Security.

u should go outside more

>ignoring every else yet again
lmao
Here's a scenario, you're sleeping in your bed one night when suddenly you hear an explosion. You get up to see half your house has been destroyed along with your family by the government because they were tracking a terrorist who decided to hide in your house. Instead of acknowledging the damage they've caused you, the government then kidnaps you and tortures you to find out where your sister escaped off to.
There is no mention of any of this on the news.

How does this hypothetical make you feel?

>genocide an alien race because you have shit war tactics
Those who can't into war shouldn't be commanding troops.

The lead girl was fine most of the problems come from the male lead. What you need in that role is a confidant and charismatic screen performance. The guy they got sounded like he was a teenager trying to sound older and manlier than he actually was. The movie tells you he's such a cool playboy type guy really confident and full of himself, he's also competent but maybe not as competent as he thinks he is but the dude we see in the movie doesn't resemble this at all.

I guess what you'd need is a young Arnold in his prime who could convey this sort of bravado with just a grin. I don't think we really have a guy in the industry now that could really play this role and sell it.

There have to be made sacrifices for the greater good. If the terrorist blew a nuke in the next day thousands would die and then my house would be peanuts.
>Not using advantage of aliens cough off guard with a high possibility to end war for good because of muh friendly aliens
it seems to me that he did hes job perfectly

it's great for that, plot isn't that bad, the problem is deehan and cara, they drag the thing down as much as humanly possible.
The intro was perfect though. Until they appear.

>it seems to me that he did hes job perfectly
In what world is torturing random aliens, forging official documents and trying to annihilate your own soldiers "doing your job perfectly"?

>In what world is torturing random aliens, forging official documents and trying to annihilate your own soldiers "doing your job perfectly"?
By winning the war.

He already won the war. Try again

James Franco would've been perfect.

>He already won the war
>He won
Exactly

Right, and even accepting your completely broken retard logic, everything he did afterwards makes him a terrible person

LOVED it.

everytime Sup Forums hates a wonderful english spoken movie, i suspect the acting was terrible: non native speakers like me can't really judge that.

>that chin

...

Wrong. She's a model. She did it to wear wigs for photoshoots and vice versa for movies.
Thanks for projecting though

>have a masculine face and huge forehead
>better get a buzzcut so literally all anyone will see is said face and forehead

...

like everyone else I found the acting terrible
i could hardly make it through the whole first scene with the skinny, villain's sidekick-looking main character and be told by laureline that he's successful with women and a "bad boy"
that was very cringe worthy

also, laureline's actress herself was probably the worst at acting overall, even tho at least she looked the part somewhat

the story itself was weak but served as a conduit for cool scenes well enough. Didn't really like how some random race of aliens somehow could learn all of technology from a broken ship before they starved to death, and then hide themselves in the heart of the enemy's HQ, learned even more technology and ended up basically god-like
it's too much

the entire rihanna part was pretty meh and too long but it got really tone-death at the end when out of fucking nowhere, in the middle of a funny quip-battle between the two mains, she fucking dies. Makes a goodbye speech in agony and turns into dust, like what the fuck? I expected her to pop back up any moment and go "i joked, i just morphed into sand lmao!"
it was very weird

overall 4/10, a huge shame because there are good bits and the source material is goat

This is Man of Steel all over again.

Somehow, plebs agreed that it was terrible, when as a matter of fact is way better than the average hollywood blockbuster. Maybe if i had a facebook i'd understand this people.

Sheldon. Cannot Unsee.

the real reason Valerian flopped explained

youtube.com/watch?v=wv27XkOZFYQ

I went to see this movie purely for the CGI and visuals since everyone was already saying the story was awful, and I was STILL disappointed.

It was probably the worst comic based movie I've ever seen in my life.

There is nothing comfy about this terrible lighting.

it was a VR beach: they made a decent job at making it feel fake. Obviously natural sunlight should produce sharp shadows in such a clear day

>we are helpless strangers in a foreign land meme
>we didn't want to be refugees, we were forced to come here meme
>we would go home but it was blowned up by da evil humans (all played by whites)
LMAO

also it was sponsored by the French government if I'm not mistaken, making it literal refugee propaganda

that video


kek

hahahahahahahaah

They didn't want to be refugees.

So they left.

No, the humans helped them, pushing the notion that if Europeans help the refugees now, they will eventually go home in the future having been emboldened, which is not actually the case in real life.

>the humans helped them

After hindering them and trying to kill them instead of letting them leave.

exactly which country in Europe are you from?

calm down retard, it was just an old sci fi trope about evil empire. if anything, it applies to american foreign politics

also, immigrants were WHITE

also, immigrants were WHITE
It's all subtle tricks to mislead and condition you. Obviously it's working.

>go watch it
No.

WEWLAD

Absolutely ruined the actor for me.

>Watch Cara eat hot wings and sweat.
No, thanks.

It's online

No need to download or torrent.

So that's why she never have profile shots.

>about to hit DL
>remind myself that I already have too many shitty flicks in my backlog to put another one

only good thing about this movie was cara's legs
everything was a huge waste

>U-utopianism is bad, guyz!

Go crawl off to die in a ditch you sad brainless fag.

>you don't understand how war works do you?
Do you think you do?

>All these people not appreciating this movie

This board is a shithole. Giving retards computers was a mistake

And this is the reason why nobody in the real world likes you.

>Giving retards computers was a mistake
I agree
If they didn't give retards computers then maybe the movies CGI would at least look decent

Look who's talking.