ITT: Books that are impossible to properly adapt into film

ITT: Books that are impossible to properly adapt into film.

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Finnegans Wake

Infinite Jest

I thought the same thing when I read it but the movie actually works

A Confederacy of Dunces.

Every attempt is doomed to failure.

Cat's Cradle

any book about lesbian couples because real life lesbians are all ugly as fuck

Dragon's Egg

house of leaves. good fucking luck.

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No but fucking really, from the Wikipedia article

There have been repeated attempts to turn the book into a film. In 1982, Harold Ramis was to write and direct an adaptation, starring John Belushi and Richard Pryor, but Belushi's death prevented this. Later, John Candy and Chris Farley were touted for the lead, but both of them, like Belushi, also died at an early age, leading many to ascribe a curse to the role.

Director John Waters was interested in directing an adaptation starring Divine, who also died at an early age, as Ignatius.[14]

John Goodman, a longtime resident of New Orleans, was slated to play Ignatius at one point.

A version adapted by Steven Soderbergh and Scott Kramer, and slated to be directed by David Gordon Green, was scheduled for release in 2005. The film was to star Will Ferrell as Ignatius and Lily Tomlin as Ignatius's mother. A staged reading of the script took place at the 8th Nantucket Film Festival, with Ferrell as Ignatius, Anne Meara as his mother, Paul Rudd as Officer Mancuso, Kristen Johnston as Lana Lee, Mos Def as Burma Jones, Rosie Perez as Darlene, Olympia Dukakis as Santa Battaglia and Miss Trixie, Natasha Lyonne as Myrna, Alan Cumming as Dorian Greene, John Shea as Gonzales, Jesse Eisenberg as George, John Conlon as Claude Robichaux, Jace Alexander as Bartender Ben, Celia Weston as Miss Annie, Miss Inez & Mrs. Levy, and Dan Hedaya as Mr. Levy.

Various reasons are cited as to why the Soderbergh version has yet to be filmed. They include disorganization and lack of interest at Paramount Pictures, the head of the Louisiana State Film Commission being murdered, and the devastating effects of Hurricane Katrina on New Orleans. When asked why the film was never made, Will Ferrell has said it is a "mystery".

Books shouldn't focus on plot therefore they make bad movies.

Dahlgren

Never read Slaughterhouse 5, why can't it be made into kino?

Sirens of Titan would make a good movie.

This was my first thought.

My second thought: Tropic of Cancer. I suppose you *could* adapt it but it would be incredibly boring.

Inherent Vi-

the final pleb filter

I think it can POSSIBLY be done as a miniseries or full fledged show. Might not be very good though since a lot of the finer details will get lost in translation.

Stormlight archives
Mistborn trilogy

/lit/ has arrived. Like Sup Forums, there are certain books lit constantly talk about same for all the meme music on Sup Forums like death grips and that milk hotel album.

Two main reasons

>Billy goes back and forth in time constantly and it would confuse brainlets
>You could not depict the aliens properly

Sanderson is anime tho

Great Gatsby.

This is an example of how film cannot match prose.

you realize that it was made into a pretty good movie?

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>pretty good

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Snow Crash. It's kinda sad because it's an incredibly cinematic story, but it is too long to make into a movie without cutting out lots of good stuff and the budget would be like $150M or more. No studio would spend that much on a book adaptation from a book that doosnt already have a huge following

easy and i would love it

Blood Meridian. At least Franco tried though.

The problem with Stephenson is that the enjoyable parts of the book are the autistic tangents he goes on. I mean imagine a cryptonomicon movie or show. How do you have a whole episode devoted to eating captain crunch, or trying to win a bet about security only to end up reading your friends penthouse letters about a fetish for stockings and nice furniture.

avclub.com/amazon-is-making-a-snow-crash-tv-show-1818979922

pretty much all of stephenson is like that: cool plot, but full of weird or extremely technical tangents

REAMDE might be ok, actually.

Flow My Tears, The Policeman Said would probably be the hardest Dick (lel) to translate

>the final pleb filter
>posts "my first magical realism"

>dude cyberpunk skateboards
>hacking lmao
This stuff is for people who think they "get" Blade Runner but actually don't.

>the head of the Louisiana State Film Commission being murdered
wtf

why

t.kenosha kid

I was in the middle or writing a response to the first guy about how the main problem would be the budget, and then you show me this.

There is literally no way in hell some of the larger action sequences will be included. The budget for the Raft sequence or the cycle chase down main street or the Rat Things taking out the drug dealers would be enormous. They couldnt afford to film that shit.

>Durr everything that is cyberpunk is just a ripoff of blade runner

Eat shit mate. It has nothing to do with Blade Runner. R. Scott doesnt own the idea of nearish future cyberpunk. What you just said is like saying "Star Trek is just Star Wars for boring people who dont like action". They're entirely different fucking stories

>13 ep miniseries
>each ep is 1hr 20m
>at least 10 minutes per ep devoted to landscape shots, maybe incorporate a few Judge speeches but otherwise silent
>get unknowns except for Glanton, the Judge, and Toadvine
only was this could work desu

The movie adaptation of Slaughterhouse Five came out in 1972, and, incidentally, they did a good job.

Now, I'd like to see somebody come out with a decent version of The Catcher in The Rye, and Atlas Shrugged, respectively. (NOT an "Objectavist" by the way. I'd just like to see somebody attempt to make a good version of Atlas Shrugged. That is all)

I hate Infinite Jest with as much hate any man is capable of producing

Sup, Bloom.

The Sirens of Titan is my absolute favourite book of all time.
It could make a good movie if the director/writers have the balls to do it right. I can only see the Cohens doing it justice.
Maybe a TV show. But that would require stretching it a bit and that could lead to bullshit

Totally filmable.
Just not really marketable.
My second favourite Vonnegut book.

have you even seen the george roy hill movie? he did a good job. vonnegut liked it.

>I'd like to see somebody come out with a decent version of The Catcher in The Rye
Except it's been made into a million fucking movies, just never explicitly titled as such. It's the archetypal contemporary coming of age story.

HIRO PROTAGONIST

Stephenson is a fucking hack, Cryptonomicon is his only alright book

Anathem is his best book imo

I generally like Stephenson but I don't like Snow Crash.
It's like he wanted to write a satire of cyberpunk with super "deliverators" and shit
But then he keeps forgetting he's doing satire and goes full serious for a while before he flips back to satire

Everyone talks about Infinite Jest dumb dumb. Ever since it was released it's been a stereotype that every pseudo intellectual college kid owns an unread copy.

>Sirens of Titan
My negros. I've never known anyone IRL that has heard of it, let alone read it. Even people that have read Vonnegut.

Yeah my nigga
It's good shit.
It's got witty cheeky prose mixed with existential nihilism and classic sci-fi tropes.
Nothing better

>I can only see the Cohens doing it justice.
Out of curiosity, why is that?

Because I think A Serious Man has the same message and themes as a Vonnegut book, just without the sci-fi

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>Flow My Tears, The Policeman Said would probably be the hardest Dick (lel) to translate

Not even close

see

I can sort of see it. Coens are pretty good with mixing drama with farce. I don't know if they'd be able to handle the more fantastical elements. I could see Wes Anderson pulling it off too.

Honestly most books by memekami.

House of Leaves

Those are just superhero stories. Easy to adapt.

I read it

I read a lot of scifi though

Has anyone here read Ilium by Dan Simmons? That'd be damn near impossible to do well

Technically I think the actual plot wouldn't be hard to film. The style would be completely lost though.

My diary desu.

There would have to be too many omitted key scenes to adapt this one. Sup Forums wouldn't want to miss out on them.

Yeah, it's good shit.
I don't think it's impossible. It just relies on the audience to just roll with it.
I mean you could even soften the difficulty with having the main historian nigga dictate his notes out loud. So he could explain to the audience what's happening.

The problem with Ilium/Olympos is the lack of relatable characters. Pretty much the only one is the main nigger, and the rest are either semi-alien robots, future Eloi niggers, or gods and shieeeet

IT apparently. In an age of streaming tv series and film trilogies, normies keep getting fed the same neutered version and lapping it up. And no one will ever have the balls to throw in the underage sex and "we all love you Bev" angle.

That or like any Wrath James White book

The Diamond Age would be even worse with all the tangents left out. Plus, I don't see how they can do the ending without ruining it. Was the orgy scene included in the new IT movie or did they change it?

>no one will ever have the balls
Cary Fukunaga did. The problem was finding people that would let their kids be involved with something like that.

The problem with Olympos is that they fucking published an outline as a finished novel. Simmons is really good at building things up, but not so much as resolving anything.
>Oh shit turns out the trojan war with the greek gods was real, except they're down stream trans humans who forgot they were humans and now LARP as greek gods on olypus on mars
>sweet, now another branch of humanity made out of cyborgs spring their trap and attack olympus with the help of the heroes of the trojan war now armed with post-atomic future spears
>the humans left operably retarded by technology on earth begin to learn more about their civilization
and then
>lol idk... fairy tales, and sex scenes, and have you ever read a mid summers night dream....? ME NEITHER!

And then it ends with Merlin saving your girlfriend's leg.

>mfw the first time I read Crypto

ITT: 11th Grade English students

If you ever really want to activate your almonds, ask yourself how self aware the story is.

Yeah Simmons does have that problem but I don't think Olympos was as guilty as other things when it comes to that
It explained what the fuck was going on and then ended the story. It was paced about as well as Ilium was.

Yeah but even his script was radically different to the book. Admittedly his version would of been closer to kino than the meh fest we got by virtue of his amazing directing ability.

I think this could be done. Hell even Hard Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World could be done.

I'd watch the shit out of a band of brother style show about unit 2702 with Bobby Shaftoe trying to figure out how this all relates to the giant god damned lizard.

>I fully comprehend the nuance and historical detail of Faust Part II.

I don't recall this.

And the QT smol waifu.

I read Infinite Jest five years ago and it was perfect. You're a pleb.

How about a version of Dune that doesn't suck

Will Ferrell would be fucking horrible.
I don't want the movie to get made if he's Ignatius

>1000 pages of purposefully shit prose in order to say "lolol reality is hard for the insane"

We read it in high school. It was a great book and my first Vonnegut. I can't think of a single director who could adapt it properly.

No one wants to get allahu akbarred.

That's called Harry Potter

Dune sucks, so that's an impossible task already.

Hard boiled already had one

My dad is Faust so yeah, I'm pretty nuanced in it

Can it be done lads?

because you're a fucking retard

That's lame compared to an army of millions of naked lolis with advanced combat training saving the day.

Show some fucking respect

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Worked better as an album

His books are comfy but god Damn they are fucking bad

>submit or get beheaded

Have you not seen Arrival? I think they did a decent job depicting the aliens