Why does mars have the best girls?

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birthmoviesdeath.com/2012/04/08/film-crit-hulk-smash-hulk-vs-the-john-carter-script
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the dejah thoris comics are readable?

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for the most part, yeah

why is she so perfect Sup Forums?

Maybe.

that's exceptionally readable

"""""read"""""

Because earth girls are easy

what about, IDK, Venus?

the best martian girl

this user understands me

So is this actual H or what

You just don't understand Barsoomian culture.

Depends on what you're into.

Because it's the red - i.e. not liberal - planet.

So I suppose that's why it's a burned-out wasteland with terrible infrastructure and crazed bands of heavily armed lunatics running around, huh?
You guys should really think your metaphors through before trying to inject your politics into everything.

You should really learn how to recognize a joke

I'm legitimately bothered that their skin isn't like, two shades redder.

Jokes are supposed to be funny, user. That shit was weak.

Still not sure if this is porn or not
Is there a close up of the Thark Girl?

>Still not sure if this is porn or not

Story time?

Only if you're into vore.
Like, hard vore.

You know, that kind of shit where they butcher women and put them on display in a butcher shop, and everyone in society is totally okay with it because over-population or whatever.

That shit.

>i didn't get owned, you didn't all see me get owned!

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What... the fuck? Are you for real?

Please don't derail this into politics.

>Samus poops out a dickshaped Dugtrio

That movie was underrated.

It even has little hairs.

I bet that tastes like cock.

what?

It needs a re-edit to fix the pacing and storytelling issues, then it could be awesome.
birthmoviesdeath.com/2012/04/08/film-crit-hulk-smash-hulk-vs-the-john-carter-script

I liked it, but had some serious problems with it at the same time. Especially turning Carter into a modern angsty antihero who sits around and whines about how it's "not his fight" for half the damn movie, instead of just jumping into the fray and kicking ass like he does in the book.

What, that that kind of shit exists?
Yes. It does.

As for the Dejah Thoris story, it's kind similar to that.
Green Martians used to have a taste for red martian flesh, but most of them have long abandoned that practice.
This warlord's band has not, and they've made a living for themselves kidnapping young, prime meat red martian women and butchering them (See this ) since their meat is always in demand from other green martians that still fight the red martians.
They kidnap Dejah Thoris to subject her to the same fate in an attempt to break down relations between the green martians under Tars Tarkas that have since made allies with Dejah's kingdom, while also getting the most sought after delicacy on Barsoom.

i.4cdn.org/gif/1487046817939.webm

Relax, some dude tried, and he failed hilariously, and now it's over.

I'm not even the guy who said the liberal thing.
It was so obviously a joke, is this your first time seeing a shitpost?

Motherfucker is was eating. But that ending was kinda funny.

i doubt you're not the guy, but the point is, it wasn't a good shitpost and dude got all defensive at the first sign of the bantz

kek/10

>running damage control for a stranger's unfunny politics shitpost

Damn, dude, you need to find yourself a better hobby.

I'm this guy
I'm not being defensive. Sup Forums just needs to stop being so easily baited.

Ovipositors my brother. Ovipositors.

Because she brainwashed you into thinking that about her.

>Nipple covers

aaaaaand into the fucking trash it goes

I don't think they'd get away with dressing martian women the way they were dressed in the books.

No, I agree.

I don't think the green martians are into raping red martians. Sex is very different on Mars and doesn't seem very recreational from what I can tell.

this guy gets it

Sex seems recreational between bonded pairs of red martians, and they're usual portrayed as bonding for life.

Green Martians were portrayed in the first book as breeding for the purpose of procreation and little else, with very few of them even developing any kind of romantic feelings, and family dynamics were almost nonexistent.

>he actually thinks he's helping

The first post was lame, the second was funny, and yours are just a waste of time.

Ok, don't remember a lot about the red martian relationships, just that the Tharks seemed near sexless. A select group breeds every few years or something and this whole ritual of selecting eggs and such.

It seemed a theme of the book was "everyone is nekkid and no one cares" to point out it was a very different culture than our rather Puritan America, heh.

The thing about Tharks is that they weren't sexless, loveless, and anti-family due to their nature. It was that such things were often frowned upon in Thark culture, and only Jeddak's got to plow all that green martian cloaca whenever they wanted.

That said, while under the rule of Tal Hajus, the Tharks did strongly consider raping female captives as a demoralization tool against the enemy, yet they had a code of honor that forbid them from doing so.

You want every thread to disolve into political shitposting?
Keep replying to bait.

It isn't even political shitposting now, it's just general shitposting. The politics ceased like ten posts back.

It was certainly a cultural thing for the greens. Though in spite of their physical similarities to humans, the fact that they're oviparous suggests that their insides and thus hormones and such may be different so may not have the same drives as such as we do.

I'm not even sure if the greens canonically have boobs, though I'm not sure why reds would and greens not, or reds would at all, or if they're the same function as human boobs.

It is both an interesting thought experiment and a bit creepy as well.

Well.
Red Martians can breed with humans, so it stands to reason that if they're compatible with human mates, those mammaries probably serve the same purpose they do in us.


We've seen no proof that green martians have breasts, though. And there's nothing suggesting that they can interbreed.
Unlike the other races like the Reds, the therns, and the first born who are all functionally humans, the greens appear to be genuinely alien in appearance, instead of just being a skin color of human that lays eggs.


It's entirely possible that Green Martians ARE the original and only native born martians, where as all the other races are just descendants of humans that ended up on Mars the same way John Carter did, and evolved differently to accommodate their new home, including laying eggs instead of traditional mammalian birthing due to environmental nonsense.

Best girl.

I find the idea that a mammal and egg layer could have babies silly, but there it is anyways. I don't think Burroughs was a biologist. It hardly hurts the story.

Yeah, the Reds are from some kind of interbreeding of two older species to better physically survive the new deserts or something, right?

Who is this? I know she is a martian and see her on Sup Forums often, but pretty sure I never saw whatever it was she was originally from.

>Who is this?

Queen Tyrahnee of Mars, from the Duck Dodgers series. It's pretty good.

I recall there was one higher-up green martian in the books that was implied to use the red martians as sex slaves. I can't recall which one offhand. Probably some minor character who got summarily dispatched.