Daredevil Storytime (Part 11)

Welcome back Anons. This certainly seems presumptuous of him, doesn't it?

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Ah shit, I missed one of your storytimes. Sorry, I won't be able to join you guys during the late night ones because I gotta get my body used to getting up early and such.

Yes, I can't imagine the church is happy with a man dressed as the devil acting like he's running things.

The late night ones are SUPPOSED to be when I mess up and don't do the afternoon ones for whatever reason (usually me being lazy), or Wendsday so as to not get lumped in with all the new comics released around that time.

Speaking of new comics, what comes out tomorrow?

Huh, priests are a lot more tolerant of cursing than I remember them being.

Then again, I was 12, so that may have had more to do with it.

Huh, Ben was right. An entire crowd was in that bar, and nobody could see his face.

Does EVERYONE read The Pulse in this series? If Jessica Jones is writing for it, it can't be THAT good.

How are idiots like this still a thing when they KNOW superheroes are a thing, especially superheroes who frequently dodge bullets.

That is somehow the lamest name I've ever heard.

>Speaking of new comics, what comes out tomorrow?
Elektra #1 ivX #5 (of 6), Solo issue 5, doom patrol Kamandi challenge issue 2.

>doom patrol Kamandi challenge issue 2.
Oh, I'm going to have to look THAT one up.

Wow, you're doing this early, you usually do this when I'm asleep, and I conveniently just got out of work

Woman, unless that drug is MGH, you have GOT to know better than to try that.

>Oh, I'm going to have to look THAT one up.
Same. I was looking Foward to elektra but the preview was meh.

>Say what ya will about Wilson Fisk, I ain't never heard him say he was da Kingpin
That just means you weren't really paying much attention. This is what he said in his very first appearance:

>The underworld will now be run like a Business...and the Chairman of the Board will be...The Kingpin!

Up there with such classic names like Boomerang, Cyborg, and Katana.

Was... was he just sitting out there waiting the whole time?

Well, not counting tomorrow, I'm going to try and do it at this time more regularly.

You know what, you've got a point.

I mean, he could've just called himself "Gun".

Right Marvel imgur.com/a/2wT9J Selling old costume variant covers.

Criminals tend to be idiots, it's why they're criminals. Smart criminals know how to lay low, not get caught, manipulate others for doing the illegal shit for them or do morally dubious stuff that's still legal.

I somehow doubt these yahoos were in the room when he said that, user.

And his partner was called "Shotgun"

>"You're right, Satan, I will change my life."

>But I've looked him up on the internet and I found nothing
Probably because the word "bullet" has 258 million results. Also, not being well-known is a GOOD THING for a killer for hire.

Lady, why would you even BRING your kid to this meeting?

So am I alone in wanting to smack this smug douchebag across the face?

>Calls himself Bullet
>Doesn't use guns and fights with his bare hands

OH, so he's going with a "Ten Commandments" thing.

Seriously, right across the face. I don't know why, but he just annoys me. He's smug enough to be annoying, but NOT smug enough to be entertaining.

By the way, solicitations for May are out. RIP Noah Burstein

I love how the lady in the 6th panel is holding up her cross. Even SHE'S freaked out by the weirdo.

In case you don't know, because I didn't, there actually IS a Marvel villain called "Shotgun".

Nocenti's Daredevil was freaking WEIRD.

I did know, he's gonna be in Bullseye's new miniseries.

Watch it turn out, that despite being kidnapped no less than three times, his WIFE somehow outlived him.

Also, don't be surprised if Walker ignores the fact that, last time we saw him in 90's Cage, he was kind of evil, either because it was stupid, or he didn't read it.

Oh, I was letting everyone else know, in case they thought you made up a lame supervillain name.
Because that's what I thought you did.

DAREDEVIL #20

Charles Soule (W), Ron Garney (A), Mike Deodato (C).

* The story behind Daredevil's secret identity revealed!

* Matt Murdock completes his shocking tale and must live with the ramifications of his actions.

* And as Daredevil he must soldier on in the face of the heartbreaks and burned bridges.

* All this leads up to a brand-new chapter for Matt, and a fight truly unlike any he's faced before!

32 pages, $3.99.

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Red, when Prison-Dad says he needs something done, and he says you "can't" do it, why would you try to convince him otherwise? He could want you to become a supervillain!

ELEKTRA #4

Matt Owens (W), Juan N. Cabal (A), Elizabeth Torque (C), Mike Deodato (VC).

* Elektra is pulled deeper into Arcade's brutal new Murderworld, combating new high-tech threats – all while she plans her escape...

* ...and Arcade is going to need all the help he can get when that happens...

* ...and as the clues come together, Elektra realizes that there's something more sinister at play here. But what?

* Guest-starring: Two sais, one red scarf, and a never-ending supply of rage.

32 pages, $3.99.

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Everyone Favorite Villain

Doom Patrol 5 has slipped again. Do you mean one of the reprinted collections? I can't wait to see how hardcore they kill all characterisation of Emma Frost in IvX

KINGPIN #4

Matthew Rosenberg (W), Ben Torres (A), Jeff Deka; (C).

Fisk takes control of the narrative!

* Wilson Fisk's biographer Sarah Dewey is in over her head...

* ...and a gang war is about to erupt in the streets!

* But is Fisk really pulling the strings, or is the KINGPIN as clean as he claims?

32 pages, $3.99.


BULLSEYE #4

Ed Brisson (W), Guillermo Sanna (A), Dave Johnson (C).

* Teodor and the Black Knife Cartel flip the script on Bullseye...

* ...but JOY wants the joy of killing Bullseye all to herself!

* Bullseye's got it all under control...right?

32 pages, $3.99.

20 issues and they're only NOW answering that. I still can't believe they're taking that loong.

>Nocenti's Daredevil was freaking WEIRD
I was annoyed when the Inhumans showed up, not because of "le shithuman hate meme", but because it was such transparent shilling of her OGN. Like, I get it lady, you write stuff other than DD, just keep it off my goddamn Daredevil comics.

That Acts of Vengeance tie-in was 10/10 tho.

I'm GUESSING "ninja girl" means Elektra, since this is a Daredevil comic, but the weird thing about the Marvel universe is that that could refer to a surprising amount of people.

>20 issues and they're only NOW answering that. I still can't believe they're taking that loong.
Red suit is also coming back.

>It's hunting season on guys like us
Wait, criminals that were beaten up by Daredevil are scorned in prison? Why?

Well shit, that turned hostile out of nowhere in that last panel.

And this page is even more hostile in the last panel.

I guess she's really pissed that he went to see his criminal father.

>That Acts of Vengeance tie-in was 10/10 tho.

Where he fought a Diamond Absorbing Man, right?

Speaking of, I just finished the Doctor Strange tie-ins to that. Who's idea was it to make Doctor Strange fight the HOBGOBLIN? I mean, they smartened up later and made him fight Amora, but seriously, HOBGOBLIN vs. the Sorcerer Supreme?

Just in time for Bendis's shitty Defenders book to put him in a black suit, because he has blackmail material on EVERYONE.

>Doctor Strange fight the HOBGOBLIN?
Wasn't that when he became demon-possessed or something?

>"He told me once the feds come down on Murdock, every single case Murdock ever tried gets thrown out."

No problem, I've seen the end of Harvey Birdman, just re-try them all. You can get that shit done in 15 minutes.

Are these the people that Ulrich thinks don't exist?

>Where he fought a Diamond Absorbing Man, right?
Nah, it's the one where he fights Ultron. Yeah.

And of course, Bendis feels like adding some more to Born Again, because the question on EVERYONE'S mind was "Who blew up Matt's building?"

Yeah, but even still, literally the only reason that "fight" lasted as long as it did was because Strange decided to have a secret identity again.

>>"He told me once the feds come down on Murdock, every single case Murdock ever tried gets thrown out."
That's not how anything works, it doesn't even make sense. Murdock is a DEFENSE ATTORNEY, he didn't actually put anyone behind bars as a lawyer, he defended people. Either his "lawyer friend is stupid" or Bendis is.
Now that he's in the DA department it's another story though.

That is either a very tiny lady, or a bigass pistol

Okay, that's even more of a hilarious mismatch, but for the exact opposite reason!

To be fair, his co-workers think the Yakuza don't exist, so it's not like JJ hires the best and brightet.

>Every single guy that went to jail cause Daredevil beat on him...gets let our of prison
That one makes even less sense, why? The fact that they're in jail means that they were found guilty because of evidence and shit. All Daredevil did was beat them up and make it easy for the cops to arrest them. The guys he beat up are still criminals.
Like, would they have to let Bullseye go according to this retarded logic?

Huh, I genuinely forgot that McDonalds actually did Super Sizing. Did they really stop, or did they just change it to "Large" or some crap like that?

Holy shit, that was one hell of a bomb!

Why doesn't eyepatch-man get one of his own goons to do it? Why does it have to be his son?

Hey, makes perfect sense to me. And I've played every Phoenix Wright game, so that basically makes me a lawyer.

Funny story, there isn't actually a commandment against lying. The specific wording is "bear false witness", so it's closer to "don't lie under oath".

>makes perfect sense to me
NOOOO. That means Bendis has already won, he's gotten away with his bullshit yet again. Curse you!

This reminds of when I felt that the Luke Cage show started to jump the shark, and I didn't even end up seeing Diamondback in that

Do you mean you don't know what a supervillain is in the technical sense, or do you not recognize one when you see it?
I mean, Hydra agents are more heavily armed than, say, Bullseye, but they aren't supervillains, while HE is.

If your husband came home looking like THAT, I don't think you can blame Daredevil for that!

Bendis likes writing civilians as clueless about super stuff, though he also likes writing superheroes as clueless about super stuff. Really, he just likes writing people as if they're clueless and ignorant about almost everything.

It's even dumber once you realize that if getting beaten up by Daredevil is enough for a get-out-of-jail card, him being Matt Murdock would actually be completely irrelevant.

Maybe it's because I went into it as a fan of 70's smack talking Luke Cage, but moments like Cottonmouth pulling a rocket launcher out of his ass, or everything Diamondback did were my favorite parts.

Yeah, they're silly as hell, but if I wanted serious drama, I wouldn't be watching a series about Luke "Sweet Christmas" Cage.

I have no idea what expression she's making here, but being real with you, Anons.

If I walked in on my significant other having a conversation with a mutated fetus on her shoulder, I don't know what I'd be feeling either.

But they're NEVER clueless about the things Bendis knows. EVERYBODY knows who Luke Cage is, on sight. He doesn't even have to remind them "I invaded a sovereign country for $200", they just immediately KNOW.

youtube.com/watch?v=OeLxUVACQF0

Me reading this story. Nothing original, nothing of value, nothing new, just a waste of time, a filler. If Marvel would take this off from Ultimate Collections, no one would bat an eye, no one mentions it, no one talks about it and I probably would've killed myself if this is what I was getting for 6 months after solid arc after solid arc Bendis was pooping out at the time.

Holy crap, that escalated quickly.

I think it was because I had read choice quotes from interviews about things like "It will be the Wire of Netflix productions" and given the fact that I had just rewatched parts of The Wire, oh boy could it not compare. The Wire was notorious for not giving any exposition dumps for the audience, and the first few minutes of Luke Cage had Pops literally giving a summary of Luke's life to Luke himself

Of course he wore a mask, he's a supervillain. Most of them do.

See: >And I paid him a lot of money to set something up for me that he didn't want to do. Something he don't want to come bite him.

Yeah, it's basically Bendis telling random filler stories about random people with the relation to Daredevil being completely incidental. I'd say this is the worst arc of his entire run.

>he's just some asshole with a Spider-Man mask and a knife

Okay lady, when you said your husband was a supervillain? I was taking the piss when I said you don't know the difference between a supervillain and a regular criminal, but I genuinely don't think you do.

It basically IS filler since we're coming up on the end of Bendis's run now. After this, only one more thread.

I guess he's as much of a super-villain as Mr. Zsasz is.

What in the...

IF YOU COULD DO THAT, WHY USE A KNIFE?!

Of course, two of his favorite Bendisisms are "What's going on/happening?" and "I don't know what that is"

Tbh, I have problems with Murdock papers too.

>I think it was because I had read choice quotes from interviews about things like "It will be the Wire of Netflix productions

Oh yeah, they said that crap a lot. But not only have I not seen The Wire, but I wasn't even expecting much from the Luke Cage series.

>Woman sees that the killer has freaky demonic powers
>Doesn't believe the wife when she says she saw him talk to a demon thing

You know, if Zsasz had fucking flame vision.

youtu.be/iFTMEOpmJT4

>"I don't know what that is"

He did that so often, and with that exact wording, I still think that's supposed to be a running gag, that failed because Bendis can't comedy.

Little fetus man reminds me of this guy

imgur.com/a/ncIBA

I think he uses "I don't know who that is" more often.

To be fair, it's Marvel. There's almost literally a dozen different explanations that have nothing to do with demons.

For some reason I liked to imagine Maleev drew Bendis if he was a demon fetus and Bendis made up a story about it as punishment so that Maleev would be forced to draw that ugly fuck again and again.

>There's almost literally a dozen different explanations that have nothing to do with demons.
THIS MUST BE THE WORK OF AN ENEMY STAND

Like I said, it's a Bendisism, like Claremont's "BODY AND SOUL" or "no quarter asked, none given". Oh god, did I really just compare Bendis to prime Claremont? I think I'm gonna be sick.