Thanos roast

Fools! you have summoned me for this so called 'roasting', This is how you would treat your Lord Almighty? You would challenge the heavens so brazenly?! So be it then!

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Galactus: "Thanos...A man who would find a way to fail to open an envelope. A man who would surround himself with people who would all betray him."

You such a thirsty ass nigga, you're literally a raisin, A RAISIN.

...

You into goth bitches?

Thanos....is it THAYnos or THANos?....or ThanOSS?? Who knows??

...

Gahahaha! Galactus, Old friend you jest with me! I'll get you next time

*pulls infinity gauntlet from backpack*

>Thanos
>Lord Almighty
Go home, Skrull.

So we're all here to roast a Titan, which is crazy, because all I see is a purple bitch who was beaten by a squirrel.

Look, I know you're in love with death, I just wish you were in more of a rush to meet her. You've got emo kids on earth who are more prone to an audience than you. I'm just trying to say that if you became an hero, you'd probably get closer to your goal.

Speaking of goals, let's talk about yours. They're about as vague as a fatasses new year's resolutions. "I want my crush's attention." Well you sure picked the Columbine path to that. Tell you what, let's trade that gauntlet for a trench-coat and maybe scale down your atrocities to meet your teen-tier goals.

...

>t. Howard the Duck

>no WAAAUUUGGHHHH

I dunno...

YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A SHADOW CAST FROM THE THE RAIDANCE OF DARKSEIDS TERRIBLE GLORY. A MERE PRETENDER.

Darkseid said, "Fuck yo couch, nigga."

>only works in his dimension

Look, guys, I did this once. Trust me, nothing good comes of it.

Ah, you know what? Screw it.

"For a guy that killed half the universe with a snap of his fingers guess who's bed DEATH IS IN?!"

Yeah, that's right.

The only chin that is more repulsive in this universe belongs to the Skrulls, and we've all decided that genocide is acceptable for them.

Deadpool, I'm glad you chimed in.

Your entire body resembles a scrotum, and yet you're less unappealing than Thanos. Thanos looks like a virgin tied off his nuts with a rubber band. He's blue-balls-plus. Let's be honest, Thanos has never even kissed a girl. I mean, does he even have lips? You know what, I take that back. How else can he kiss Adam Warlock's ass?

>a Titan,
OBJECTION
He's not a titan, he's FROM Titan

overruled. For I am from Titan and therefore A Titan.

Thanos, it's said that imitation is the sincerest flattery. So I say to you: THANK YOU! I AM OVERWHELMED! DeSaad has nothing on you.

Thanos is so purple one day he went outside with his shirt off and people yelled Hey Kool-aid

thanos is so fat that the hulk cant even lift him up

Shuma Gorath: What is Thanos? A purple spec on the ass of entropy! All show and no real power.

Thanos's ass is so big, it would take all of Set's heads to kiss it.

Darkseid: Darkseid is... NOT THANOS. You are not the tiger force at the centre of all things. At best you are the kitten force slightly out of focus to the right.

I mastered anti-life. You got cucked by Death.

Haha!

Heh

...

>At best you are the kitten force slightly out of focus to the right.
fucking savage

Does that mean I'm An Earth?

So would Thanos like this Death or would he think she's a little girl and not for lewd?

A CHALLENGER APPEARS

>"I want my crush's attention." Well you sure picked the Columbine path to that
Ain't gonna lie, I kek'd

That doesn't sound like Thanos at all tbqh.
This is one of the clones isn't it?

Hey Thanos, remember that time your own Ego-sized ego made you commit the stupidest of mistakes at the height of your power? No, not that time. The other time. The other-other time. No, the othe--oh, you know what I mean, you rascally raisin you.

Christ, this is good stuff.

Did anyone already forget this gem?
plasticfarm.tumblr.com/post/67356039004/the-second-thanos-and-darkseid-carpool-buddies-of