Spider-man (1967) Here comes Trubble

How you doin.
It's time for our weekly Spider-man. In tonight's episode Spidey is attacked by mythological figures serving the evil whims of a bookstore lady.

Sit back, relax, enjoy the show and comment if you're so inclined.

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Bump

Page 10 here we come!

Thanks. Always takes me a while to get started. How are you.

Hmmmm tonight is too quiet... almost... quiet

*crash*

What was that noise

It came from the museum of art! But it's supposed to be quiet because absolutely no one cares about art!

Fine, how about you?

... But for those who do care, Spider-man does web graffiti, American graffiti, regular graffiti, performance art, and Spider-nudity.

Alright I suppose.

Lookin' good Princess Leia!

Calm down Spidey there's nothing unusual going on around no need to stirrup emotions just because it's the stuff night mares are made of.

Is it pronounced "Vayce" or "Vazz" Oh I'll never know!

Hey you over there. Hold your h...
yourself. Hold your yourself. It's pronounced "Vayce!"

Oh really?! Know I know! Thanks Spider-man!

Spider-man: Let's put this thing back where it belongs alright?

HEY! I WASN'T DONE LOOKING AT IT YET. How dare you rein in on my parade! I was just horsing around!

Take it outside! There's a rule against horseplay in museums!

Fuck off, you're being a nosy neighbor you're not dad

Owwwwwf! That centaur's strength is marbleous!

NOPE

Sorry my hoofed art-thrief friend. But this ain't my first rodeo

Centaur: Awwwwww

Walloping websnappers! It disappeared! Gonna miss that guy.

MISS BRANT! HOW COME THAT PENCIL-NECK PARKER ISN'T AROUND WHEN HE'S NEEDED

But Mister Jameson! You gave him the day off!

I GAVE HIM THE DAY AND NOW I'M TAKING IT BACK. GO FIND THAT LOSER AND TELL HIM TO GET OVER TO THE MUSEUM

Jameson: Vandalism! Teen Hoodlums that's what it is!

*brrrrrrrrnng*

awwwwwwwww yeah.

Jameson here.

WHAT?!

NO!

I SELL HOT NEWS HERE NOT COLD MYTHOLOGY. GO BACK AND RETHINK YOUR COLLEGE DEGREE IN FOLKLORE AND MYTHOLOGY BECAUSE YOU'LL HAVE BETTER LUCK FINDING MOISTURE IN YOUR DRY VAG WITH A DIVINING ROD THAN GETTING A STORY ABOUT DEAD GODS FROM DEAD LANGUAGES IN THE BUGLE.

AND THAT'S FINAL.

...

He hung up on me. He hung up on ME. That's final? You'll see what's final when I'm through with you.

Jameson! You'll be begging for expert guidance on mythology soon enough.

I have to go to sleep now.
Hope this thread stays alive until tomorrow.

*poof*

Whatdyaneed?

You and me both. I'm far too slow. If not there's always the arch

Cyclops! It's your turn! You will succeed where the Centaur failed!

there's always the archive

And if Spider-man shows up! Well, you know what to do.

Uh what? No I don't I was just poofed into existence seconds ago.

Ohhhhhh you want me to kill him and eat him? Sure, why not?

Miss Trubble: Now go Cyclops! Go and force Jonah Jameson to take notice of us!

Cyclops: JEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN

You know, after all this time of pondering how I shot web I've never thought about and reflected on WHY I shot web.

Form thinking position. And what's the deal with that centaur? You don't see those everyday and why was it robbing a museum and not doing something in character for the species like rape?

EEEEEEUGHHHHHHH

Whoa hey! Watch it!

A CYCLOPS?!

Why're you picking on me for! I'm no Wolverine or Ulysses I'm just some nobody! And all those people who say you do nothing wrong? They're wroooooooooooong

Eep

Nice depth perception, asshole! I'm over here!

Hope this works

Somehow he died before the rock hit him. Ah well, we didn't see eye to eye anyways.

Another failure! Nothing can interfere with my plans and monsters aren't doing the job!

But who to summon next? Ares? No, too predictable.

Baccus? Spider-man's not the type to drink on the job.

Hades? No, he's just an overhyped bureaucrat.

Zeus? He'd be fine until turns into an animal and gets in a frisky mood or decides to give birth to new deities from his head ... yeah no, Zeus. Things would get too weird too fast.

OH I KNOW

You there! Go hunt Spider-man! He's red and blue ! Occasionally has web armpits Can't miss him!

Spider sense is telling me something. Something is flying my way.

If you were aiming for the knee you're way off!

...

Next time I will not miss. This Spider-man I promise you.

Hold on a minute! You haven't introduced yourself or said what type of men you're into. Chicks dig me ya know?

And let's talk about the craftsmanship on these arrows. I know a guy named Clint and he could hook you up with some nice arrows at wholesale prices.

Quit prattling, mortal. You will not escape me for I am Diana, Goddess of the hunt.

kek

Hi Diana can you please go fetch Cupid for me before we continue?

No? Look, I'm sure you're a great Goddess and all but could you introduce me to one of your hotter, more popular goddess friends? Someone who hasn't taken a vow of chastity like Aphrodite?

Something I said?

You're outta here

Easy come easy go, right?

Who could behind these mythological menaces and why did she call herself Diana and not Artemis? SOMEONE hasn't done their homework.

SOMEONE BROKE INTO THE STONEFELLER MANSION LAST NIGHT AND STOLE THIS FUCKING STONE STATUE THING

PARKER, YOU'RE A YOUTH WITH TOO MUCH TIME ON YOUR HANDS, YOU TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK THIS IS

bump, this is too good

Peter: Hmmmmm it looks like Hades' dog, Cerberus, but it's a little too lizard like maybe a confused hydra? Or a mutant chimera?

Betty: Peter you're putting far far too much effort into this. It's a Cerberus and no one cares.

thanks

*BRRRRRRNNNNG*

NO. THE ANSWER IS NO

Now What was your question?

NO. YOU ARE NOT GETTING A DAILY COLUMN ON MYTHOLOGY. LISTEN LADY, IF YOU WANT TO READ A TABLOID ABOUT FICTIONAL EVENTS AND FICTIONAL PEOPLE WITH RIDICULOUS POWERS GO AND READ THE DAILY PLANET.

AND THAT'S FINAL

Miss Brant, if that womanish thing calls again, I am OUT.

Peter: Another JJ romance going down in flames?

Betty: Nothing that dramatic or juicy, just some used book dealer pusher named Miss Trubble

Miss Trubble is right! Now that's woman who lives up to her name! And who needs romance? I've got a newspaper to run!

Diana was standing right in front of this store. This all can't be a coincidence.

Better play it cool.

HELLO? I AM INTERESTED IN PURCHASING USED BOOKS AND USED BOOK ACCESSORIES

HMMMMM what an interesting coincidence

And there's some photographic evidence

Miss Trubble: Young man, we don't sell pornographic books here. You'll have to find some back alley book dealer to hook up you.

Peter: I'm from the Daily Bugle and Mister Jameson tells me that you're an expert on mythology and we'd like to write an article about you!

DID HE LISTEN TO NOTHING. IF HE WANTS A MYTHOLOGY COLUMNIST HE'LL HAVE TO COME HERE IN PERSON AND TALK BUSINESS. I TALK BUSINESS WITH HIM OR I TALK NOTHING AT ALL AND THAT'S FINAL

but but but

Miss Trubble: NOW GO

*SLAM*

I wonder why she locked herself in the closet

Yep. Photographic evidence and analysis confirms that the stolen statue and the one in the bookstore and one in the same. It's time for Spider-man to pay Miss Trubble a visit.

Closed? HA! Not to this costumer! Spider-man doesn't give a damn about your business hours

One foot through the window and there's already commotion

Woah, that statue is hot.

WAN WAN WAN

Just what we need. a literal guard dog

Down boy. Play dead

*BAM*

Long as I can kill them before they kill me it's ok but that was close!

Any other monsters, titans, or gods in here please show yourself now

A chest! There's probably goodies inside!

Not just any chest, Spider-man, it's a very special chest. And only I have the magic key

Seriously? Do you seriously have Pandora's box? Do you not know what happened to the original person who literally opened and all the scores of people who have figuratively opened it?

You know about that? Then you know too much for your own good!

What can I say? I'm an insufferable know-it-all jackass.

Holy shit OP this is fucking amazing work you're doing. My night is much better.