P-Peter

>P-Peter...

Why is he called uncle Ben when nobody ever asks what his pronouns are?

>posting the censored pg-13 version

>Peter... run CCleaner
>... twice

>with great power, comes the responsibility to continue the white race
Uncle Ben, what?

>”Are you in? Or are you out?”
>”It’s you who’s out Gobby; out of your fucking mind!”
>”Wrong answer Arachnigger!”
This was pretty intense for me, even as a teen

It was a different time.

>arachnigger

>get your hands off me you damn dirty ape!!
Powerful stuff

>My...soul....I'm imparting it.. to you...
>you must... have intercourse.. with your Aunt May...
>ethereal wisp travels from Uncle Ben's head to Peter's crotch
this was not appropriate

>He can talk, he can talk!

>what about that amazing night we had?
>we went to a KKK rally, Eddie.
What the fuck I don't remember that line

>..T-tell me it wasn't...a member of...my own r-ace..Peter...p-please...
>....Don't worry Uncle Ben....it was a nigger..
>O-oh...th-thank God.....

That was in Direkkktors cut

>"Parker? What's this crap about bulldozers and burning olive trees? We're supposed to be painting Hamas as the bad guy!!"


it really was ahead of its time.

Did they portray americans as white in those movies to appeal to Europenas?

>p-peter come closer
>it w-was bob iger peter

>"He... he looked Italian!"

>bulldozers
are you referring to this one time when the US soldiers buried all those sand-soldiers alive?
whats with the burning olive trees?

i fucking love these threads

LMFAO HAHAHAHAHHHA

>... are you crying? Lol fag.
>dies

>he can siiiiiiiiiing

>The itsy bitsy goyim climbed up the water spout. >Down came the diversity and took the white male out.

Did anyone else found this pretty shocking after a reviewing.

>Can I play the piano anymore?

should have used an real american

>What's your name kid?
>The Jewish Genocide

>BACK TO AUSCHWITZ?
How did Raimi sneak this in? This shit wouldn't fly today. It really was a different time back then.

jewish settlers in the west bank bulldoze homes and burn olive trees regularly.

...

>Not posting the Director's Cut

>Peter... it's the white race that is the real enemy. They use their privilege to keep down the African-American community, Latinos and they keep Asians out of movies as well. The world needs to be diverse, and by diverse I mean exterminating the CIS white males from this world. I know Peter, we are those cis white males, but we have to do this to better the world for what we have done in the past for hundreds of years. With great power, comes great responsibility, and that power deserves to be given to minorities without them having to earn it.

Jesus this shit SJW stuff was ahead of its time. What was Webb thinking?!

Was it good for ending shot? I don't know.

>itsy-bitsy spider went up the water spout
>down came the goblin and ate his asshole out
it truly was a different time

>P-Peter... a b-box, hidden... hidden in the carage. D-destroy it.... P-Peter... Don't let your aunt see...

>Watch it

>You're a month late again. Again!
>I promise, as soon as I-
>If promises were crackers, my daughter wouldn't have a filthy nigger child brewing in her womb!

Fucking hell Raimi, and this was supposed to be you "toning it down for a wider audience" for the sequel.

holy kek

...

You butchered it but this one will always be my favorite

based gotta spread that truth

>"Clear... b-browsing... history"
>AARP, FedEx tracking, movie times

A double life this whole time

>that tasty thiccness

ben delivers again

>These guys, Goldberg and Cohen, they probably deserved what happened. Scratch that, they most definitely did. But just because you can beat them up, doesn't give you the right to not finish the job. Next time, after you exercised your civic privileges, exercise your civic responsibility and report them to your local officer, Pete. Remember: with great white power, comes great responsibility.
>Are you afraid I’m going to turn into some kind of liberal? Quite worrying about me, okay? Something’s different, I’ll figure it out. Stop lecturing me, please!
>I don’t mean to lecture and I don’t mean to preach… and I know I’m not your Fuhrer –
>THEN STOP PRETENDING TO BE!

More like [B]eter, am I right?

>P-Peter...

>peter....I fucked your aunt

Damn, he lost so much blood he thinks he's his brother

>with grape powder comes... grape responsibility

Kek'd. That was a fucked up movie

>watching our fuckhut burn to the ground

every fucking time

fucking saved

My favorite

>P-peter
>I want...I want you to promise me something
>Don't turn your back on the light of Christ...and *cough* save the white race
>And *pants* don't go bringing home some sassy negro girl to your Aunt May...s-she's suffered enough
>Resist the jungle butt, Peter

B-But Uncle Ben, what if i break her into being my slave?

AND THEY SAY THAT A FUHRER WILL SAVE US.

I'M NOT GONNA STAND HERE AND WAIT!

>Peter, you must think I'm in heaven with all this white light surrounding me. Well Pete your a pretty smart guy, this white light is a product of the intense heat being admitted by hell. Don't tell your Aunt May this, but I molested your father from time to time, usually around the holidays or other special occasions, and thats what landed me here Pete.

>Come here. Parker, what do you know about high society?
>Oh... well, I...
>Don't answer that. My society photographer got hit in the head by a polo ball. You're all I got. Big party tonight for an American hero, my wife's son the astronaut.
>Could you pay me in advance?
>[Jameson laughs hysterically for a few seconds]
>You serious? You don't think I see what you're trying to do here, Parker? You think I'm gonna sit here and smile while some fucking kike tries to fuck my mother? It's never gonna happen Parker, fucking forget it, not on my watch, not while I'm in this building. I will fucking cut your Shylock nose off and stick it up your ass before I let that happen. Coming in here and poisoning my workplace with your Jewish, nigger-loving, hippie bullshit. Fuck you! Fuck you! Yeah, walk out, asshole, fucking Kabbalah reading motherfucker. Get the fuck out of my office

>Peter... I need you to get rid of my porn collection... Magazines, videos, some security footage I bought on the black market... There are snuff films in there, Pete. If your Aunt May sees all the pictures I took of her feet while she was sleeping... It's all in the box in the basement labelled "Baby Pictures"... Before you ask: yes, there are baby pictures in there, they're just not of you... Actually, they're a part o the collection, but that doesn't matter now... You've gotta do this for me, Pete. You've got to destroy my porn stash... And I mean DESTROY that shit, kid... Seriously, the hentai alone is enough to get a man put away... Hentai is the Japanese word for "pervert", son, and that's what I am... That's what your Uncle Ben is... All the fat globs of semen I've wasted masturbating to bestiality and vore over the years... And I'm a strong ejaculator, Pete... I'm as sterile as a surgery room, but I cum like a geyser every time... I think part of the thrill was always seeing if I could get any of it in my mouth... The first time I did it was a complete accident, but the taste, Pete... The taste was unlike anything I had ever experienced before... I started to crave it... It was like a drug to me... And that's coming from a guy who did a lot of blow in the 90s... Usually off of the ass-cheeks of some coked out hooker who me and the boys would kill for sport later... I actually have some footage of that in my porn collection... Which, again, you REALLY need to get rid of... I cannot overstate the importance of wiping that shit from the face of the Earth... Okay, what else, what else? Oh, you can have the slice of cake from Aunt May's birthday that I've been saving... I mean, I took a bite out of it, but it's not like I have herpes or anything... Wait... Do genitals count? Never mind, I'm dying now... In summation: great power, great responsibility, burn my porn, eat my cake... Bleh...

>He's just a kid, barely older than my wife's son...

Subtle.

AYO

There was another version of this that was fucking hilarious. Does anyone have it?

this one?

>I emptied your college fund for that doll, Peter

>Peter... use the magnets

>Hentai is the Japanese word for "pervert", son, and that's what I am... That's what your Uncle Ben is
Kek

Fuck that one is hilarious but that's not it. It involved him asking peter to tear a chastity device off him before the police got there.

this one then?

Does anyone have the one where Uncle Ben has a gang of skinheads rounding up Jews and Peter has to greet them at the concentration camp?

Oh god that's it. Thanks friend.

>Back in 'nam I tortured so many gooks they used to call me the rice cracker. Now don't go telling me you're too nervous to ask that girl out Peter

Man I can't believe this part wasn't cut

I always thought it was a nice touch that the gun Harry pulls out at the end is a Luger

>I fried so many slopes they named a brand of rice after me
Every fucking time lads

>Harry told me you are holocaust denier?
>You see, im a bit of logical thinker myself...

Jesus Christ Raimi

>The gunshots keep killin' niggers dead
>And just like the kike whose nose is too big for his head
>Spics are eating lead
>Those gunshots are killin' niggers dead
>Fags keep fallin'

>So I just did me some shootin' with my gun
>And I said I didn't like the way liberals won
>All these civil laws
>My gunshots are killin' niggers dead
>Fags keep fallin'

>Because I'm free
>No jews worryin' me

>It won't be long
>'Till the holocaust welcomes me

>Gunshots keep killin' niggers dead
>Because the white race will soon rise proud once again
>What a day it'll be 'cause
>Der Übermensch will reign again
>We'll soon be free
>Because of Mr. Raimi

This song is so, so wrong but so fucking catchy, I remember going to the playground back in '05 and singing it with all my buddies. We were all suspended and I didn't know why until after a long-ass seminar.

lul'd

I can't believe the studio signed off on this one

>arachnigger
Thanks dude

>Parker now I remember you, you're Connors' student
>He tells me you're brilliant... he also tells me you're a Jew lover

Not sure why Raimi thought that was necessary to put into the director's cut.

honestly your description of it was funnier than the real thing

>my son tells me you've been missing alot of school lately
>you know peter education is very important how else are you going to learn about the holocoast?
>tell ya what stop by later today and ill teach you myself you'de be suprised what they teach in school isnt necessarily the truth

no wonder reimis films werent popular in the UK

cant believe he slipped that one in there i remember the theatre was a gasped

holy fuck i spat water all over the table

cringe

>I'M THE HUMAN HOLOCAUST!
Jesus christ, raimi.

at least pick a name based on something that actually happened, kid

It wasnt a reference, it was a promise!

t.arachnigger

>You want door fix, Man of Spiders? Yes, I know these things you do, I learn how to find many secrets in old country. You will not pay rent? This is fair. We will take rent in other ways. When I was in old country, in Bosnia, my friends and I... we do things to women. Terrible things, make them ugly women who will never be loved. Your friends, redhead girl and science girl... they will beg me to stop, as my men and I rain alternating blows of ejaculating and fists upon them. And when they are broken, Man of Spiders, when they are nothing more than shells... you know the rent is paid. This month.


Raimi was never afraid to tell it like it is

>You joined the Aryan Brotherhood Peter?
>We've been members for years!

Asians are the most successful demographic in the United States

kek nice

lmfao

>Pete, did i ever tell you about Vietnam?
>I boiled so many gooks over there that they named a brand of rice after me.

...

Hard to believe that line's still in the movie.

why has Sup Forums not done a full dub of these movies yet?

Actually a pretty good idea. I would happily contribute.

>and they say that the Führer can save us
>i'm not gonna sit here and wait

damn, it never occurred to me as a kid, but MTV must have been getting a lot of angry letters over this