What kept/keeps you up at night?

What kept/keeps you up at night?

Makuta's theme with that crystalline sound effect.

My erection.

That cartoon I liked never got another season and I cant git gud at drawing even if I try.

Also a comic I liked got an adaption but it was shit.

Insomnia

High emotional distress.

>Also a comic I liked got an adaption but it was shit.
I'm gonna guess a more recent, The Killing Joke?

The ideas, philosophy, and tactics put forth in Silent Weapons for Quiet Wars.

when i turn around to the other side of the bed, and see no one there.

I have to deal with living in a place I hate

I hate life in general

I am bombing out from college a second time because I am so depressed I cannot get myself after bed.

My parents love me and are probably incredibly disappointed in me

The constant fear of death and my own imperfections. The incomprehensible state of death, nothingness, eventually not existing at all even at an atomic level. The fact that everything is futile and worthless no matter what, anything that is worked hard on is not "good enough" or ignored by the masses. The idea "The Good Die Young" remains true as ever, as I'm still alive. I always thought of myself as a good person, always willing to help other and to create things that others can enjoy yet here I am, played by the book my entire life and it only led to me being beaten by it.
And so I look to video games, cartoons, and comics to continue inspiring a person that never will be until the day I vanish from this mortal coil, a sleep where I can truly dream.

Anticipation of Samurai Jack and my subsequent suicide.

That life never gets easier, only harder.
My knees have started popping randomly and I'm scared I'll go to the doctor and get told I have to never weightlift, swim, dance or run again. And shit like that is just going to keep happening until I die, and I'm just going to keep letting parts of me drop off until there's nothing left.
And then the end will come, and I'll miss it.

Crippling depression.

keep your head up, it aint over yet

That no matter our combined efforts toward anything and everything, our plans, dreams and standards none of it fucking matters. None of it fucking mattered. None of it will fucking matter. Ever.

Then I smoke another J and it's all good.

Rememberance of horrible past situations related to my current social insecurities.
Anxiety and irrational fears often related to my insecurities.
fears about my future.

You still have tons of time. Do whatever it takes but light a fire under your ass and figure out what you want to be, because success in life needs to build on past successes, if you can't succeed at this it will be 10x harder to try and pick yourself up from the bottom of the pit.
Do your best for this reason and this reason alone, figure out who you want to be in five years and start working on it NOW.

The Fear that I'm getting old and losing contact with my youth.

that my waifu will never get enough art drawn of her

Are you sure of that?

The fact that at the start of the year I was thinking "I can't actually see myself living past 40 at this rate, if I don't manage to turn things around I'm a prime case for mid-life suicide" and that over the past 2 months it has gone from "can't see living past 40" to "can't see living past 35" to "can't see living past 30".

I'm 29 and barely holding it together.

a total systemic glandular disorder brought on by acid-pump-blocker pills, leaving me unable to produce melatonin in significant qualities and reliant upon sleep-disrupting stimulants to get even a whisper of an erection

Sometimes I wake up, in the middle of the night, but I can't go back to sleep because my dick is so hard. And I'll try to ignore it, but my fucking dick is so hard. I can't ignore it. It's there like a bomb waiting to go off.

best go into emergency mode, bro. just think about today. leave tomorrow for tomorrow-you. that guy will be a lot better off if you chill out and get some sleep. joo got room n' board? parents who love you? that's all you need really.

My cat who wants food every two fucking hours

man you might as well rebel against the doctor instead of rebelling against what you imagine he might say
6 times out of 10 you have a problem that CAN be cured but only if you get treatment right away. MIght involve some knee braces.

a second time, huh? well you just made me feel a little better about myself.
what's something you think you could do without blowing your brains out? it could be something as simple as repairwork or sorting books at a library. Just getting that one thing will help you out and make you not worthless.

Fear of death.

The Boogeyman

>Also a comic I liked got an adaption but it was shit.
it's weird how much that depresses me, especially when it's something that you KNOW will never get another shot. BvS did it for me.

That despite my decent job, having a roof over my head, and a bit of money saved up, nothing makes me happy, I'm pissed off all the time, and I just want to be alone until I drop dead

Take a little time off of work and for god's sake stop looking at any kind of news or social media.
then ask yourself if maybe you should be living somewhere else.

I basically have no friends anymore. My social circle has drifted apart since graduating college, and it's hard as fuck to 'make friends' once you're out of school. I occasionally go get drinks after work with a few coworkers, but we don't really share any interests outside of out shared enjoyment of beer.

I guess this is adulthood.

It is at that. Try Meetup
otherwise make friends online and don't be afraid to stick your neck out on some kind of irl hanging out.. that's all there is anymore.

While exceptionally grateful, I feel like I don't deserve the things that I have. I hurt somebody in the past that I loved, and I can't forgive myself.

Not that guy but where are u from and why do u type so funny

nowhere and because i'm bored
seriously what is with people who are 'from' places? feeling some kind of connection to it..

The fact I have nobody but my family and while I'd be lost without them the fact they're all there is makes me somehow more embarrassed at the lack of any real social life
Also halfassedly pursuing an ill thought out childish dream may have trapped me in a job I hate.
Also gay thoughts.

Mostly imaginations about actually fun realities with superheroes and Hope that or the incomprehensible idea of death and the fact that your entire life times isn't even a blip in the grand scheme of things and a couple supernatural things I've seen which give me some hope for an afterlife which is fading

This is kind of hard to explain, but here's my best shot:

Sometimes I'm kept awake at night thinking of how close I've come to being one of "those" cases. You know the ones, that guy who's in his late twenties, never held a job in his life, and just mooches off a parent/relative because at this point he has no prospects in life?

Like, I graduated college, but there were a few required classes that I just barely squeaked by in, passing by one or two points. And if I'm being honest, I probably only passed them because the professors were either being charitable or just curving the hell out of the class grade. If I had failed those courses, I probably wouldn't have graduated on time, and since my family is poor as fuck, I definitely wouldn't have been able to afford another semester to retake them.

Another one - The job I have now is great, but the only reason I got it was because the last job I had, which was closely related to this one, was one given to me by a family friend after my mom asked him if he could hook me up to get experience. Aside from that, I had absolutely no work experience to speak of.

Basically, sometimes I just get simultaneously scared and grateful as fuck that these key points in my life went my way, because I had no backup plan otherwise and my life probably would have just taken a sharp downward turn if life just decided to shit on me. And those kind of near-misses just scare the fuck out of me.

That and some vague sense that there something that's watching us that we can't see or hear but us there watching us and may be in my head can't know for certain don't look in the mirrors

that's okay man, you're lucky to have the family. Just find someone else whom you can be-family-kind-of with. It's easier than you think. Nobody has a social life anymore
and yeahhhh that happens, but at least you've got the job. save up your money and work on finding something else related in the field that you hate less, I bet you can.
and don't worry about those thoughts, they're just fluctuations, and if society didn't tell you to get so excited about them positively or negatively they wouldn't register as anything at all except a complete and utter lack of the normal affection you ought to have with your fellow man

it's a little nervous looking back at that single set of footprints during those tough moments
but jesus was carrying you, user
the important thing is you're humble enough to know you didn't accomplish those things by your own strength

Traumatic memories and hallucinations.

sure is Sup Forums-related around here

G'day mate.

Spiders, Snakes, The Americans obsession with guns, The liberal party, Robbers, Death in general.

These are text-book sources for comic fuel user, Other anons.

Imagination is the fifth dimension

Sometimes you gotta drop the pretense and have a good old-fashioned discussion about your lingering existential dread.

Most comic writers would probably tell you that some of their greatest stories started out as them trying to exercise personal demons or insecurities.

But yeah real talk tho, this thread probably belongs elsewhere.

My dickhole adopted brother keeps ruining my life. He burned my dog alive.

Spiders are your friends...except the bad ones that usually camp out in your basement.
Snakes less so but they're not really an issue unless you're in a real shit hole
Guns are your friends
Liberal Party? Where are you from exactly?

Homestuck

I was trying to slip in a Jojo reference... never mind

Nigga are you me? I feel like walking in front of a train because I failed out of college and have to see if I can get my dumb ass readmitted. Waiting until after next summer to see if the university will take more of my money and I'm just doing nigger work for cash right now.

I think I may have been pressured into going to uni before I was ready by my Dad, who was just tickled pink to be a Trucker who barely made it though high school and have a son who's going on to higher education. But that's probably just me being a loser and shifting blame.

As for your outlook on life, if you can't keep going for yourself, do it for the people who love you. And yes no matter how much of a fuck up you are, there are people who love you, and seeing you do something as horrible as suicide will be brutal on them. Every time I think about how I can make all the pain and anger go away in a second, I think about what it would do to my Father, my sister, my grandparents, and my niece and nephew. I was abandoned by my Mother, so i know how it feels to be thrown away by someone you loved, and someone who should have loved you in turn. I'll never do that to them, no matter how much it hurts, no matter how tempting it is, I'll never be that weak.

You're stronger then your demons user, you just have to keep swinging.

>Going to college probably right after high school
>not working first, getting that /perspective/, work ethic, and self fulfillment from a solid day's work
>not returning to college as an established adult who won't be easily swayed by bullshit, or be as susceptible to crippling depression
You can come back to college later, you know? It's not like they throw you in jail. Relax, stop letting expectations of others rule you. You're your own man, God damn it, you're better than that.
Now stop falling for the college-after-high-school meme, take some time to establish yourself as an independent human being. You'll feel a hell of a lot better when you're coming home without stressing over schoolwork and deadlines, trust me.

I've actually had it happen a few times that just as I'm falling asleep I get the sensation that there's a fire underneath my bed burning through the mattress and when I jump up my arms look as though they're red and hot as well. It subsides after a minute but it's pretty disturbing.

Have you seen a Redback?
Do you even know what a King Brown snake is?
They bloody aren't.
Mate, Come on.

Nothing, I fall asleep in like 5 minutes.

My sexual deviance. Im actually pretty disturbed with myself

Weird shit. Like if gravity stopped working or the Earth stopped rotating or somehow all the oxygen just vanished.

my lecherous personality looking for lewds

>knees popping sometimes
PFFFT HAHAHAHAHAHA
You do know that's just a thing that happens right? Like knuckles popping? It doesn't mean anything more than that.
Now if it starts to really hurt when it pops, well now that's a problem.
I think the popping happens slightly more when you use the joint more from my experience.

Back when I was like 5 or 6 I snuck out of my room on my grandma's house at midnight and turned on the TV
Grandma didn't have cable and two of the channels she got stopped transmission after 12 pm
There was thins channel that aired some wierd stuff late night tho like cool anime movies and this one time they had a stop motion short about a little girl living with her grandma and then one night the devil comes out of the mirror and grabs grandma straight to hell, hell being this infinite circular ladder grandma climbed forever while the devil laughed over a wired background

I never found out the name of the short and I never saw it again

Tonight is the third night I'm having to drink myself to sleep.
Whilst browsing a fucking cartoon imageboard.
This costs to much. And I don't mean my health, I stopped giving a shit about that a long time ago. I mean cash.
During the day, as long as I'm here, I need to pretend to be a (poor) functional human.

Jesus Christ Sup Forums I'm sad to say how far this even is from my personal Rock Bottom. Ranting to fellow anonymous manchildren about my humiliating failure at functioning a normal life, despite being given every advantage a man could ask for.
Something is deeply wrong.

Yeah, I loathe my job utterly, I no longer ever make a full 7.5 hour shift so I've handed in my letter of notice and finish in a week's time. I'm flying back to the home state to hang with people I know well and the family for a month or two and about to start on the anti-depressants because I finally decided to talk to a doctor about itand he confirmed it's severe depression.

I'm going to have to deal with having no job and no passion in life to lead me towards the future for a bit, but maybe there's still time to pull out of the nose dive. I suppose in a couple montha time after the brain chemicals are done adjusting to meds I'll have a better idea of where to go.

Thanks buddy.

something like this

>Owlturd: The thread

Ever seen an episode of The Outer Limits called The Zanti Misfits? That shit kept me up all night as a kid. I was afraid that I would see the Spaceship land in my front yard and I would have to watch all the people I loved get killed by weird looking bug creatures.

Those things were fucked up, man.

Alright I'll do my best to give some advice. I haven't browse the full thread yet and just seen these two anons:

Similar situation and my senpai has a history of alcohol abuse. Being Frugal helped me get out of it once I started calculating how much money I was wasting at bars. Sometimes you gotta go to Hell to strt climbing out and battling demons.

Hated the dead end job at the store. I know have a career that I love and am grateful for. I'm on antidepressants too and it takes a while for you to find the right one. Started taking them around 11/12 and now am 30. At max I can prob go two days without them but when I resume taking them the first day always feels like shit. Best of luck to ya.

Bars?
Thanks for the attempt at salvation, but I can get a small-ish bottle of vodka at home and work through it in two drinks to sleep any night of the week. Depending on if I have mixers in, that's £5.50 minimum a night to forget my life.
I should specify I have very little money and have pushed away anyone who ever cared for me whom I might have spent money on.

I'm sorry user. I don't expect you to have any answers, but everyone in Bongland is fast asleep. Living their functional lives and all.

shut up John you can't prove shit

That I'll never learn to drive.

I have a full time job that's decent and a good network of friends who take care of me. I keep it a secret from half of them that I don't know how to drive and am terrified of getting behind the wheel.

Had bad experience as a kid trying to learn due to parent with anger management issues. Now it's just fear and laziness that stops me.

Ultraman

How old are you user? I'm 25 and I've never been behind the wheel of a care, never even got a learner's permit.

Sup Forums

I felt this way when I was 15. Not driving just "feels permanent"

Go with someone you can trust to a parking lot, A BIG ONE. Just start slow, practice right and left turns, using the signal. All that shit. Then graduate to neighborhood streets and so on.

Seriously you can do it.