Why didn’t they just throw the ring down a really fucking deep hole then fill it with cement?

Why didn’t they just throw the ring down a really fucking deep hole then fill it with cement?

They didn't have cement

Why didn’t they just fly to Mordor on eagles??

Because Sauron was winning. He didn't need the ring.

What happens if you hit the Ring with the Palantir?

>destroy the ring
Sauron dies. Free folk win.
>hide the ring
Sauron lives. Free folk lose.
>give Sauron the ring
Sauron becomes nigh unto invincible. Free folk definitely lose.

Why didn't they put the ring on one of the eagles and let them do the job?

The ring didn't matter to Sauron, hence why he didn't actually give a fuck about Gollum having it for so long. Yeah, he sent people looking for it but it wasn't an immediate need. He would have won the war without it, it would have just been nice to have.

but....that's completely wrong? he was desperately trying to get back the ring so he could win.

Why didn't they just take it on one of the boats to the elf island and drop it in the ocean about half way there?

Why didn't they just dig a hole to mordor?

Have some dying man take the Ring with him to the Grey Wardens, problem solved

Why not just give the ring to Tom Bombadil?

Why didn't they just give it to those immortal elves who could just sail off and never come back?

Why not just make an eagle swallow the ring and dive into the lava

I think what you mean is Sauron was defeated and it took him many years to regain his power, during which Gollum kept the ring.

The ring wanted to go to it's master

> Sauron and the rings were one

so it would have found it's master sooner or later.

Why don't you just fucking kill yourself?

Well he feared someone would wear it and use it against him. Not a problem if it went to say, Boromir, but if Gandalf or Galandriel used it he'd get destroyed. He couldn't comprehend them wanting to destroy it. And if Saruman got it first he actually would've used it.

top bait mate, I put that ring on your mom's tiny penis and now Sauron will never find it.

Chill out, Sauron

They really didnt try very hard to break the ring in my opinion. They could have smashed the ring under some really heavy object and made it into a coin. they could then release the coin into circulation with their other currency and sauron would never be able to find it.

This stupid ass necromancer is still upset after all these years

>if Gandalf or Galandriel used it he'd get destroyed
More like
>if Gandalf or Galanriel used it they'd become extremely powerful but controlled by Sauron and then they were be his slave and Middle Earth would get royally buttfucked by the Dark Lord

My point being that Sauron would've won without the ring since nobody in charge who could wield it wanted to

why didn't they just give the ring to Sauron so I didn't have to listen to nu-males talk about every second of the extended edition in length?

This.

Why didn't Sauron just blow up Mt. Doom with dynamite after he was done using it? Seems like a pretty obvious oversight.

why didn't they use the ring to turn invisible and then travel to midgard to slay the balrog and have gandalf put the ring inside the Balrog in neverland and flank Sauron from the left?

THIS

"excuse me sir, I'll get the deluxe mead pumpkin spiced latte whilst I'm shitposting"

sure thing Boromir that'll be 12 rupees.
Oh no did I just give you the "coin of men" better not spend it or else (((he'll))) control you.

That's not implied by anyone, though. Galandriel and Gandalf are tempted by the rings power and would've become tyrannical, but not pawns of Sauron. Only those who can't master it are driven to Sauron since he's it's current master. Hence, "in place of a Dark Lord you would have a Queen"

I think he'd catch on when one person is REALLY clingy to their precious lucky penny.

why didn't frodo just put the ring on his dick?

tfw sauron was a goyim navigator

>Galandriel and Gandalf are tempted by the rings power and would've become tyrannical, but not pawns of Sauron.
Nigga. With the ring you are literally in his spirit world. Wearing HIS RING. The ring answers to one person, and that is Sauron. Your ass would be in Sauron's lap if you wore it too long.

The ring only pulls people who can't master it, i.e. mortals, into the spirit world. If Gandalf wore it he wouldn't become invisible.

why didn't they just throw it in the swamp world?

Gandalf wouldn't be able to master it at all. Sauron is way more powerful than Gandalf.

Too many smelly ogres

...

>literally they had the technology to mold and melt a GIANT gold dwarf statue

>never thought of melting the ring into a bigger solid or some shit like that

Melt it in fucking what, the only thing hotter than Mt. Doom is your mom's cooch on payday

Sauron is only more powerful than Gandalf because Gandalf holds back his power level as directed by the Valar. He and Sauron are both Maiar. Maybe he's more powerful than Gray Gandalf, but as The White he has full control of his power.

In theory they are equal but in practice Sauron is much stronger, especially because Gandalf fears unecessary deatruction whereas Sauron doesn't give a fuck

Are you fucking serious? Sauron can sense the ring with magic.

Sauron was literally a fucking ghost for most of the time Gollum had the ring and was only a rinky dink necromancer around the time Bilbo got it

the moment he gained enough strength in Mordor to begin his conquests he sought out the ring

>>hide the ring
>Sauron lives. Free folk lose.

Source? I thought the only reason they didn't drop it into the ocean was that they didn't want to fuck over future generations just to protect themselves.

The Ring will somehow find a way back to Sauron. And even if you do drop it somewhere nobody can reach it (like the Mariana trench or whatever), Sauron would grow strong enough to go get it eventually.

they didn't drop it into the ocean for fear that at some point in the future it would be found again. they took the only option that wasn't simply passing the buck.

>If Gandalf wore it he wouldn't become invisible.

Isuldur didn't become invisible while wearing it either, has nothing to do with being mortal or not.

Even if he was neither Gandalf's or Galandriel's speeches about the dangers of them wearing it say anything about becoming pawns of Sauron like the wraiths, and Gandalf explicitly says the ring only pulls mortals into the spirit world. Perhaps an ability to 1v1 Sauron isn't necessary to master the ring. Otherwise Sauron would not be in any rush to retrieve it.

numenoreans are special

What if you coated the real coin ring with a fake coin ring? how good are his magic senses? what if you just make a really big coin made out of a lot of fake ones?

What does a magic floating eye need with a ring? It can't even wear it

why didn't they shove the ring up an ugly hobbit's cunt?

He didn't wear it he put it on a chain

>Sauron
>not in a rush to retrieve the ring
Remember he didn't even have form until he was known as the Necromancer during the Hobbit, which was 50ish years before the LOTR, and by then he had control over many forces looking for the ring plus he sent the Nine after the Ring. He was in a rush as soon as he was able to have a rush.

Why didn't Frodo just cuck Sauron's wife so that he would have to get a divorce and have to split the ring in half thereby rendering it useless?

It would be extremely painful.

for you

That's not what my post says. I said he's in a rush because he's afraid someone capable will use the ring against him because he can't comprehend someone trying to destroy it. If all someone like Gandalf wearing the ring would do is turn him into Sauron's slave, he'd have no reason to try and get it back in a rush since he was winning on every front anyway and would've taken Minas Tirith easily on his second attempt, hence why the Fellowship goes with the distraction haul nary. They were desperate.

Putting counterfeit currency into circulation is illegal and the fellowship would have more on their hands than a measly dark necromancer--they'd have the middle earth government on their hands!

You guys think Sauron is a top, bottom, or switch? What about Gandalf?

Gandolf creampied frodos hobbit hole at least 20 times during their adventure. That I can guarantee.

Why didn't they shove the ring up an eagle's ass, fly it into outer space, and then have Legolas and Gandalf shoot arrow and magic at the eagle to kill it?

Sauron has no space program, so it would work.

What would happen if bilbo gave the ring to smaug?

Could Sauron have a feasible space program in a few decades? I mean, they have magic and everything, could his tower be turned into a rocket ship and he could have all sorts of crazy space adventures trying to find the one ring? I can see it kind of like Scooby Doo.

What would happen if Smaug delicately balanced the ring on Brilbo's naked asshole then pounded the shit out of it with his dragon boner?

Sauron would have won the war if they didn’t destroy the ring. He had them heavily outgunned.

This for sure

>Source?

Fellowship Of The Ring.

It would be extremely painful

...

what if they shoved the ring up Smaug's ass? Would Sauron try to give him a cheeky snake, or would Smaug be able to fight it off?

what is a cheeky snake?

some dumb british shit I'm sure

Why didnt they throw it in the sea? That worked for a silmaril

camera they shove up your ass looking for precancerous polyps. Sauron may not have access to this--not sure how advanced Mordor's healthcare was.

Do dragons get pre cancerous polyps? What kind of health care did Smaug have?

What if they somehow launched it off the planet, straight towards the sun?
Surely a fucking star would destroy it

There are older and fouler things that orc in the deep places of the ((ocean)).

>the center of a volcano
>2200°F -- it's a magic volcano so let's more than triple it up to 7000°F
>the Sun's center
>27,000,000°F
hmm

Yeah but it isn't a magic sun though, is it?

Surely an object of such size and unimaginable power was created by the gods themselves, right?
I really don't know

Have you seen Minas Tirath or Saurons Tower? They didnt just pile stone on stone to make them.

The sun and moon are both Maiar, so would probably use the ring themselves if they got hold of it

He's a big hobbit

We can't possibly know this until details of Sauron's tax policy are revealed

How would a sun or moon even wear the ring? The fuck would they use it for?

I'm not sure how a fucking star wearing the One Ring would work, but that certainly sounds interesting.

What was tolkien intending with this scene?

Why not just keister it and walk to Mordor?

Why didn't Aragorn just tax Sauron?

>tfw it's almost time for the annual LoTR rewatch
but have still only watched the Hobbit trilogy once

If the ring has its own wilp and can change size, why didn't it become three stories tall so the ringwraiths could find it?

Saurons jailers would order smaug to squat three times then cough.

The ring has a will of its own and would eventually surface wherever it was chucked. That's why they destroy it.

Why not just make a bunch of replica rings so it couldn't be found?

You do realize that the ring was effectively buried underground out of sight in a cave for some time when it was discovered by Frodo. The ring wants to be found and is so dangerous that doing what you said would just kick the can down the road. What happens when the concrete erodes in a thousand years? In fact the fellowship discusses at the Council of Elrond possibly doing somewhat what you propose: throwing it into the sea. However it is deemed too dangerous as the ring does indeed have a mind to be found eventually even if it takes hundred or thousands of years. The ring is so dangerous that destroying is the only option.

You do realize that the ring was effectively buried underground out of sight in a cave for some time when it was discovered by Bilbo. The ring wants to be found and is so dangerous that doing what you said would just kick the can down the road. What happens when the concrete erodes in a thousand years? In fact the fellowship discusses at the Council of Elrond possibly doing somewhat what you propose: throwing it into the sea. However it is deemed too dangerous as the ring does indeed have a mind to be found eventually even if it takes hundred or thousands of years. The ring is so dangerous that destroying is the only option.

>discovered by Frodo
Stopped reading right there.