Favorite Simpsons quotes go!

Favorite Simpsons quotes go!
>Kirk: I sleep in a racing car, do you?
>Homer: I sleep in a big bed with my wife.

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i feel like my childhood was worse off because i wasn't allowed to watch simpsons growing up

That whole episode is great.

Can I borrow a feeling?

>Don't kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, it'd eat you and everyone you care about.

The zoom and suspenseful music slay me every time

Burns knows what's up.

>Now, what do you have to wash that awful taste out of my mouth?
>Mountain Dew or crab juice.
>Oh, geez! l'll take a crab juice.

...

Political Powers!

[The OC theme song plays]

>Gandi with a bat
>Mao with hammer and sickle
>Roosevelt is the only one who could beat someone up

>"...The ball is turning into a fat, bald guy!"
>"EEEYYAAAAAAAARRRRGHH!! OOF!"
>"OH and that's no good! And you know what we say, whenever something strange happens it's good that Bart did that!"

>"Here we have an ordinary square..."

Saying that kind of makes him quick-witted tho

that oddly makes a lot of sense

>My name's Milhouse
>Yeah well your father's no-house

>kind of makes him quick-witted tho
True but he wins against the other quick-witted who don't cheat.
Of course you could argue that good cheating is also a skill.

Hey homer find you soulmate
>hey wait a minute there no such thing as a talking dog.
*woof woof*
>Damn straight

>Mr. Simpson, how do you respond to the charge that petty vandalism such as graffiti is down 80%, while heavy sack beatings are up a shocking 900%?

Homer? Who is Homer?
My name is Guy Incognito.

IT'S NOT BATMAN!

civilization.jpg

>"Hey everybody, vote for my dad, Homer Simpson, If you don't he'll beat us."
>"WHY, YOU LITTLE!..."
>"No one's going to beat you son."
>"You're going to get such a beating."

>"How fast can this auto-mobile go compared to, a Train? Which I could also afford.
>"Well Count Homer..."

>Just ask this Scientician!
>Uh...

Mr. McClure, what does DNA stand for?
>.
>⨀.⨀

THE END

>"Sir, that man ate all of our shrimp and two plastic lobsters!"

>"Project Arturus wouldn't have succeeded without you. This will get you a step closer to that dream of yours. It's not the Dallas Cowboys, but it's a start. Drop me a line if your in the East Coast, Hank Scorpio."

>"....."

>"...AW, THE DENVER BRONCOS?!"

I really need to watch this episode again.

>When a woman says nothing's wrong, that means everything's wrong. And when a woman says everything's wrong, that means EVERTHING'S wrong. And when a woman says something's not funny, you'd better not laugh your ass off!

>"You're going to give yourself skin failure!"

...

"Mrs Simpson, what did you and your husband do after you were ejected from the restaurant?"
>"We pretty much went straight home."
"Mrs Simpson, you are under oath."
>"...we drove around until 3am looking for another all you can eat fish restaurant."
"And when you couldn't find one?"
>"...we went fishing."

That episode kinda pissed me off when I first watched it but as an adult, I can understand that it was basically a lesson about the truth not really mattering all that much.

At least Homer still got to ring his bell in the parade.

One of the few times Lisa wasn't a piece of shit.

It kinda bothered me that reality itself bent over backwards to somehow make Homer win.

To be fair this happened in springfield.any court outside,it wouldnt fly.

>Are you wearing a grocery bag?
>I have misplaced my pants

For the record that doesn't work

...

Whoa whoa, SLOW DOWN egghead!

His brand of gum... Doublemint. Trying to double your fun, eh Bart? Well, I'll double your detention.
...wish someone was around to hear that.

That episode had some of my favorite quotes in the series.

>Comic Book Guy: "I will thank you to stop peering at my screenplay, and if I see a movie where computers threaten our personal liberties, I will know that you stole my idea."
>Homer: "I'm just waiting for my kid." (Mental note: steal his idea)

and this: youtube.com/watch?v=LNWiEAclHbU

Dateline: Springfield. The elusive beer baron continues to thumb his nose at the authorities. Swaggering about in a garish new hat, he seemed to say, "Look at me, Rex Banner! I have a new hat!"

>Homer, organised labour has been called a lumbering dinosaur--
>AAAH!
>Uh, my director is telling me not to talk to you anymore--
>WOO-HOO!

>"Hello Homer, my Arch-Nemesis."
>"Yellow."
>"You do realize who this is, don't you?"
>"Uh, Marge?"
>"No Homer I'm not your wife..."

>HOMER! Come quick! Bart's quite his tutoring job and joined a violence gang!

...

This exchange always gets me

He's some sort of non...giving-up...school guy!

>go to look up these clips online
>Mexican or Portuguese only

Goddamnit Fox the show is almost 30 years old let there be clips

>I understand that Mr. Simpson, but according to our computer your credit history is not good. It says here that you've been pre-declined for every major credit card. It also says that you once grabbed a dog by the hind legs and pushed him around like a vacuum cleaner

iirc, Lincoln fucked some shit up in his day
Wrestled an entire team and won

That entire scene became a weird inside gag between a friend and I.

ThingsICantFindOtherwise has a pretty healthy collection of golden age clips.

S O N O C H I N O S A D A M E

Has anyone else done that to a dog?
Like Im all the time grabbing my dogs hind legs and push him around like a vacuum cleaner

Lincoln was a dangerous man when he wanted to me, I remember a story of some guy at a speech that threw a punch so Lincoln literally threw him