If you were a director, how would you make your kino as redditless as possible?

If you were a director, how would you make your kino as redditless as possible?

Less wishy washy bullshit and more straight to the point kinda stuff.

No pointless romance or separate plots. No diverse characters where they aren't needed and no cgi. No fucking pointless dialog and no shitty music. Just good old fashioned man on man action.

Have every character say the n-word and the c-word repeatedly. Never let a woman be on screen unless she shows her tits. Zero diversity.

SHADILAY AND ONWARD TO KEKISTAN!

well I'm sorry to hear that cos now...

go on...

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I'd rather have a Letterkenny thread

>dialogue cut to the bone, emotions told by expressions, body language, lighting and music
>no irony, no meta
>quips/one liners kept to minimum
>source is not a comic book
>score instead of soundtrack
It would be a financial disaster but nevertheless i'd like to do so

wow sounds really original and inventive use of the medium

Unironically this

>muh originality, muh creativity
I'm not trying to re-invent the wheel.

Ha, just watched that vid yesterday

no shitty waifu bait, no quips every 30 seconds, and every roll will be played by Brian Cox

I would throw so much money at arnold that he would still make that king conan movie.

Sup Forums, how're ya now?

>obscure references
>dad jokes
>bad cgi
>confusing plot
>unlikable main character

>Conan, save us!!!
>I cant, my back just went out!! RAGHAGAGAHAHAHAHAAAAAA

You want to make a Mamet play into a tv show? I would pay money to watch that.

can you source it then? I need it for my PhD thesis.

HOW'RE YA NOW?

Good. and you?

Mm not s'bad

I would make conservatives the good guys

Do yous wants some sashimis?

Have the main character be a racist who does not get proven wrong via strawman.

this but unironically

I would ejaculate on them if i could.

Louis, is that you? Did you learn nothing?

>character says line
>other character repeats line
>yet another character repeats line
>this happens several times each episode
>HAHA THEY'RE HICKS LOOK AT THEM LOL HAHA ALSO WEED AND GAYNESS IS OK

couldnt be anymore reddit if it tried

Just make this

>David Bowie with his Goblin King hair
>On a spaceship
>Low budget
>Everyone is wearing the tightest bedazzled onezies
>David Bowie's bulge is his co-captain
>Every time they get hit or get space turbulence the camera cuts straight to the bulge as it bounces
>Their mission is to keep the government away from the Star Child the universe has begun giving birth to in the great space ocean
>The government believes it to be a child to bring the end of all galaxies
>It's a musical
>The guys from Gayniggers in Outer Space make an appearance as a helpful rebellion crew
>All practical effects, half the cast is muppets or literal finger puppets
>Score by Paul Williams and Bowie

John Wick is Reddit

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Name 3 movies that aren't reddit

I dont expect a response

I was going to say make the protagonist a devoutly religious white guy, then I remembered Calvary exists.

I don't use Reddit, do they like Calvary over there?

Once Upon a Time in the West

Excalibur

Once Were Warriors

Reddit incarnate you fan do a search on all of them and find it being discussed and liked on reddit

You cant do it, everything is reddit. These threads are for newfags who are trying to distance themselves

Deadpool
Guardians of the Galaxy
Guardians of the Galaxy 2

forgot the name but, just search step sis porn on the hub and it'll come up

>portray religion positively
>kill multiple animals
>use cinematography to convey emotion
>main character is unlikable and gay
>women in the movie are bad at hand-to-hand combat

Have a character make pop culture references to fads that are already dying and repeat a totally random word to make neckbeards laugh and slip in some messages about how hard it is to be black in America.

Sounds track: star wars episode 1 phantom menace

Plot:, white man getting manipulated by women and backstabbed and attacked by non whites occasionally. Movie is very dark and dreary. Final decides to start an uprising and lead an insurgency on Washington DC. It looks like he will actually fucking do it, then he dies tragically. The last thing he sees is nigs flooding into the Lincoln memorial. Sad song. Credits.

Actors: Vigo mortenson/Robert Redford(main good guys)

John boyega, Iris Elba, angalina Jolie, and maryl Streep(main bad guys)

Featuring cameos from (tobey mguire and Dallas Bryce howard)good guys

There won't be much talking. And Nolan will direct it. Absolutely zero quips and jokes.

go back fag

>Sup Forums the movie

You are spare parts, aintcha bud?

I would wife both kimmy and sydney
and by wife I mean fuck because I would never marry a non virgin

Well the dialogue would be well written for starters. Reddit movies can’t into dialogue without gay quips and melodramatic cliched speeches

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