Let's have some fun tonight Sup Forums. Tonight, we're gonna be creating an abridged version of Civil War II...

Let's have some fun tonight Sup Forums. Tonight, we're gonna be creating an abridged version of Civil War II. Starting with issue 0.

Other urls found in this thread:

blambot.com/font_crimefighter.shtml
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First post to score a 4 will determine what the text on the first panel says.

>>She-Hulk, you're turn.
>>So...anyways...
>>You know in the Hulk cartoon Disney made, I'm a stunt driver? I guess Marvel really thinks kids can't understand what a lawyer is. Take that as a massive red flag for the story you are about to read.

>Mrs. Hulk, if you will.

>Thanks your honor.

>While the defendant may have been a sociopath, he did not deserve to be raped by a man in a bat costume. Let alone one that was encouraged by the police force. While we're at it, who the hell thought it was okay for one man to have all that artillery hidden under threat most dangerous city in America? It's like you were taunting all these criminals with fancy toys.

lol

>Order! Order! This shitty event has now begun!

>This is actually just a prologue.

>Anyway, Jonathan Powers.
>Who the fuck is the Jonathan Powers you may ask? According to the Marvel wiki, he's a Daredevil villain called the Jester, although there have apparently been 2 others. He did a whole bunch of shit like distribute fake news, rob banks, get posessed by demons, attempted murder, start a race war... the usual stuff. Despite all this, he somehow only served like, a year of actual jailtime, probably because he's a rich white male. Anyway, the cops weren't happy about him being released so damn soon, so they decided to entrap him.

>to score a 4
What does that mean?

Have you seen that Illuminating Comics has started again? New pages of Civil War 2 each day this week, then every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday

>For the last time, Walters, the frogs aren't gay.

>You just haven't broken conditioning yet.

>I'm not saying that homosexuals didn't have natural feelings. I'm not getting into it, I mean, quite frankly, give me a break. And you're all shocked that I'm bashing it and don't like gay people. I don't like them putting chemicals in the water that turn the freakin' frogs gay.

First person to have a post number with the number 4 at the end.

Winrar. Looks like we Alex Jones now.


Next panel's lucky number is 1

>But let's leave that aside for now.
>Jonathan Powers.
>As the Jester he did a whole bunch of shit like rob banks, get posessed by demons, start a race war... the usual stuff.
>Thanks to his white privilege, he only spent like a year in jail.
>This pissed off the feds, so they decided to entrap him by getting him drunk and have him say what crimes he'd like to commit.

>I mean, look at this guy.
>He's fucking asleep.
>This asshole got dressed, came here, only to fall asleep.
>Seriously, fuck this guy in his dirty fuckhole.
>I'm right in front of him, green breasts the size of his head, and the water has him dreaming of frog dicks.

Rolling for this guy's suggestion

>Look at the face of my client. Look at it. My client was sexually violated by a pack of these frogs. Wait, what the hell do they call a pack of frogs? Nevermind. My client was assaulted by these frogs and now suffers severe mental anguish from the incident. He wakes up screaming at night in a cold sweat to heavy panting croaking sounds in his dreams.

Seconding, I want our Civil War II to be about heroes trying to stop the gay frogs.

What do you guys have against the French.

>Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, this man is fucking Z-list. The 'Jester'? You people think a man called 'Jester' is gonna be a major threat in the near future? I mean just let him go.

>Even if you do put him away, he'll just resurface as a crowd filler in the next stupid event anyway.

Sounds sexy.

The magic number is 6

These unlettered pages really put in perspective how much Bendis abuses dialogue.

>Now he will always be forced to live with the fact that he had a frog dick rammed up his asshole. Do you know what that means, people of the jury, do you have any idea the ramifications of it?!? That makes him gay too. Jester must always live with the fact that he is now gay due to the gay frogs. He will always be a faggot deep down inside even if he doesn't like dicks. I urge anyone in this courtroom who has children to think of their child. Could you imagine the devastation of knowing that when your child grows up, they could catch the gay from the gay frogs?

OP I like what you're doing, but please use a better font. I'd suggest as close to the comics' original one as possible.

What font do you recommend?

If this gets a 6 BTW it doesn't count.

Shit man, I don't know, excuse me if I'm speaking out of my ass...let's see...

I googled around and I like this blambot.com/font_crimefighter.shtml but I'm by no means a graphic designer.

Trying to mussel in on Illuminated's turf?

>of all people know it's not easy being green but come on!

Fuck, I lost it. rolling for this.

Ask and ye shall receive.

Sorry user, I tried it but it just makes it look worse. But if anyone could find a better one I'd be more than happy to retry.

May have lost the original font in the process though.

Our next number is 3.

>What we must do is simple.
>really simple
>you might not like it. hell, I know a lot of people will hate me for this
>bet we have to kill Frogman

>I hope you all like gay frogs jokes. Because this is a Bendis book. Which means there are two other pages of nothing but dialogue. All from me.

Kek

>Gay frog packs...
>fuck it...
>An unkindness of gay frogs violated my client because of the water...
>...the water we're all drinking.

>I should tell you,
>as a "test,"
>I drank, like, four gallons of the water myself.
>Yes, I'm looking at you, ma'm.

Rerolling this.

>Poisoned water.
>Gay frogs
>And you think the seven-foot-tall green lawyer is crazy?
>Frankly, I'm hurt.

>And the worse part is, that's really gay. My client had a dick shoved up his asshole so he's gay by default now. These frogs will give us the gay if we let them.

Three 5s in a row???
Fuck this. I'm re-rerolling for too.

finally

>Next thing you know, they'll be turning frogs gray and incessantly bi-polar

Congrats anons. First page of our parody is done!

Awesome. It only took 6 hours.

Page two, here we go.

We're rolling for a 0.

>See, on any normal day, I'd be dieing for some BBC.
>But not now.
>That I'm not hulking out of these clothes and dragging that man over there off for some snu-snu is proof of the water's effects.

rolling.

Came here essentially to post this.

>TFW Jen wont drag you off for snoo snoo

Reroll

>two 3s after the previous one wanted 3s
Well ain't that some shit. Rerolling for

>two 3s in a row

>two 6s in a row

What does it mean? (reroll for )

>The Flint water crisis is only a cover.
>Started by this man.
>Mr. Wilford wants to cover up that the water is making the frogs gay and making Skrillex popular.

I really like the idea of Conspiracy Theory Jen.

Fuck any other suggestions, including my own. Rolling for the only possible panel:

OP here. You guys /really/ seem to like suggestion. Should I just use it anyway?

Sure, just make it a cutoff. Like 5 recs.

>All I'm saying is if we banned the brown folk from coming into this country, the green folk would prosper.
>There is a green genocide being perpetuated in this country.
>There's only three of us left not including the chinaman.

Yes, go with that one - it ties in the continuity of the previous page.

>I wanted to do something similar, but was afraid it'd be too Sup Forums. That user did it just right.

Do so OP

I literally wrote that oneand I'd prefer id you used this one instead because I just think it's funnier than my contribution.

>that art
shit
I might download civil war II just to look at it

You truly are blessed by kek.

Sorry user, but everyone seems to like that more.

And with that, the next number is 7 because that truly is the luckiest number. New rule though, dubs will automatically bypass whichever number I post .

>Even now, a midget policeman attempts to dry hump my client. You all must ask yourselves: will we remain blind to these amphibian sodomites?

>Oh, don't give me that face, Mr. Jones.
>He's all yours.
>Thanks to the water, my nethers are drier than an antiperspirant ad.
>Instead of laying the oil pipe, I'm thinking about diving into her hidden valley.
>(Okay, maybe I'm a little moist now.)

>Honestly, I have completely forgotten what charges my client is being accused of this time. It doesn't matter. All that matters is the water man, I'm so slutty that I slept with the Juggernaut, and yet right now I feel nothing when surrounded by men. And I'm not the only one affected, ever since she drank that water, Carol Danvers insists on that horrible haircut. Coincidence? I think not. This is clearly all part of the gay agenda.

>Your honor, those frogs are a menace to society Hopping menaces. Who knows who they'll rape next. Any one of us could fall victim to these amphibian fiends. If we don't force these frogs gay, it could lead to a horrific trend of sexual assaults. My client is living proof of the damage these things can do. Why stop us when what we're pushing for can stop this tragedy from happening again?

>I ask the court, where is the justice for my client? Where? My client can't even look at a box of Honey Smacks without picturing sticky frog tongues lapping at his anus. Ladies and gentlemen, the Jester has lost his smile. And I don't know if he'll ever get it back.

Those damn frogs man.

We're looking for a 2.

Well, we got Panel 2 (I don't even know what number OP Is choosing) Panel 3 (I don't even know what number OP is choosing):
>Water. Gay frogs.
>Jenifer Waters turning down giant black cock.
>Surely you can understand the significance of the catastrophe we're facing?
>Ladies and gentlemen of the jury..."

>There is only one solution. We must rape the frogs before they rape us. Plus, by raping them we will be cured of the gay infection, Dr. Hank McCoy told me so! I can go back to banging the Juggernaut.

>Seeing as how you all think I'm crazy. I put the water in all of your water cups that are bellow the last pannel. Congrats everyone, you are all now gay just like the frogs. Soon when the water gets into your system you'll all be gay.

>Can you imagine?
>Armies of tadpoles shooting their tadpoles in you.
>At least, I think that's how they rape. I don't know how it works.
>I'm surprised they let me stay a lawyer, honestly.

Made me giggle. I read it in the Half Life Full Life Consequences voice,

Rolling for this

rolling for this one

Rolling for this
OP, this is a good thread, well done.

Voting.

Rolling for this because it brings up a point I've wondered: did she have to take the bar exam again as She-Hulk? Hasn't it been stated that there are psychological changes between her two forms?

Rolling

>let's not forget frogman
>that guy raped the old Caption Marvel in times square
>I must stress how I said the old Caption Marvel, yeah that's right
>the sick frog dug up Mar-Vel's body just for sex

Imo that one would make a great fourth panel. For the third, I'm rolling for this one

Rolling for this one.

Eh, one more roll.

What's next? Will catfish leap from our lakes to assault our fine American Fisherman? I don't believe that's the kind of slick wet pussy they're looking for. Not at all.

Due to my love for Frogman, this get a roll from me.

Alright rolling for this one

...

And now this civil war II parody has kicked off with
Frogman raping Carol's old love interest.

Let's see where this goes.

The hero we deserve?

Who here has a 6 for me?

Five votes for before we hit the actual 2 I like both of them.
OP's choice.

I do.

>This is the jury? Fuck. He looks like a Guardian of the Universe.
>Her hair spells SGNU
>DKR Batman
>Holy fuck, we've hit the motherload! That fucking face. Those sideburns. The water's got you craving some amphibian cock, right?
>Frog faggot.

Rolling for seeing as how many people want it.

>I'm not saying we should go out and rape frogman
>mostly because I now want pussy more than dick
>but something has to be done
>I dunno maybe this whole court case is a pointless use of time. My client robbed a bank, I don't even know how all this talk about frogs started
>Now can we start the court room orgy already?

winrar.

There's my 6!

I'm hungry at the moment. So I'm gonna go grab a bite to eat and post the template + call number when I get back. Don't get raped by frogs without me.

if only we we're allowed to write the script for marvels civil war movie. Imagine how much better it would be with an extra dose of autism

It would be glorious.

Hey guys, I'm back. Magic wheel tells me we're hitting for a 9.

>No?
>No orgy?

>Okay fine, you fascist.
>We'll move on with my client.
>As you can see, he pleads insanity on the basis of autism.

rolling

rolling

>Do you want to go first?
>Or me?
>I should tell you though, I'm a Hulk.
>It means this will be a long and painful...
>for you.

>Except for the guys, you all can fuck off. Also, that dude in the back with the retarded Sonic necklace dressed as a girl isn't invited. Really? No one? No one wants to bang me? Come on, I'm a literal giantess, people would pay good money for this. No? Fuck this shit, you're the reason Hillary is turning our frogs gay.

rolling

>Chemicals in the water turning frogs into gay rapists.
>The same chemicals can make a slut like me give up the dick.
>Don't you realize the danger you're all in?
>I have the stamina of the Hulk.
>I will scissor you women raw and bloody.