The Simpsons

>It's a "Lisa is perfect and she is right about everything and Bard is a big piece of shit without future" episode

>Bart's in the wrong because reasons

Fuck.

Of all the 'futures' we've seen in the Simpsons, I have no idea why current writers are so obsessed with the one where Bart is a failure with two bratty kids and Lisa is married to Milhouse.

It's funny. I can imagine Bart getting a decent-paying job quite easily, such as a garbage man whilst Lisa would probably be unemployed after wasting her time studying Women's Issues.

Top kek. Women rekt.

Can we get a future where Lisa marries Nelson instead please?

So every episode after S12?

Happened in Barthood.

Wasn't there a future episode where Bart lived out his dream as a demolitions man

Nop. He was just her boyfriend. Milhouse is the endgame no matter what

In the one where Lisa is set to marry some English guy.
But he's still mostly depicted as a loser.

>living your dream

Someone else is always going to think you're a loser if you do this.

...

I choose to believe Bart becoming Chief Justice of the Supreme Court is canon.

>its a men are shit and should be on hormone replacement treatment episode
>its a family and friends keep aviding me because they dont want to listen to me episode
>its a everyone keeps telling me im toxic episode
>its a jokes on them, i have been completely alone before and im not afraid of being completely alone again episode
>its a cant wait for them to fuck up and prove me right episode

You were expecting Tumblrina bullshit and instead got a show that was a shadow of its former self, but...

...which are you implying is worse?

I honestly believe that show being pale version of its former self is better than going full wacky and/or gore and/or hipster on it. Granted, I've seen seen about 3-4 modern episodes (which I've been paid to translate), but I expected far worse than what i've got

>It's a Lisa get compliments from everyone from the show and is better than her own family because "lol they are terrible is she's so great!XD" episode.

Seriously fuck this cunt.

I don't know why they're obsessed with Bart being a failure in general.

I mean sure, he's not the smartest kid in his class, but goddamn they seem to go out of their way to make sure he gets the shit end of the life stick as much as humanly possible. I don't think he'd ever end up a major, world-shattering success, but it's not implausible to say he'd manage to build a decent life for himself and NOT become a pathetic worthless bum.

user, current Simpsons is a full wacky and/or gore and/or hipster show...

>Why are you working with Sideshow Bob?! he tried to kill us!
>You. He tried to kill you.

That line of dialogue and them giving Sideshow Bob fucking superpowers make me pissed as fuq.

The Sideshow Bob episodes are literally the only ones they use continuity for, and they still fucked it.

>It's a "Lisa is flawed so Bart comes to her aid and she's grateful" episode.

Getting tired of these reruns

>It's a Lisa gets abused by a lesbian with a crush on her episode.

Hold up. When did this push happen?

I mean, Homer managed. Even with the Simpsons gene.

But remember, only male simpsons are dumb, women simpsons are strong and empowered

That entire episode was just awful. I mean Bob did try to kill both Bart and Lisa in serveral occasions but they just threw that shit out the window. I mean Bob episodes are supposed to have continuity but these new writers or who ever the fuck is writung this can't even review a Bob episode and just pick out what they can do with Bob. It's like these writers want every single person out there to love and adore Lisa. Come on Bob is a raging republican and Lisa is a liberal ass wipe. Why would they all of a sudden be friends? It's doesn't add up! And no saying "der hur cause they're both smart.:B" Isn't gonna change the compelete and utter differences they have on each other.

Someone post Sky Police. It's literally Family Guy-tier.

>Bart
>Not a Supreme Court Justice
N O N C A N O N
O
N
C
A
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N

Bart being a dumb loser never really jived with me. The mischief he gets into clearly show a kid that is clever, and ambitious.

Simpson Writers are obsessed with the idea all men are failure in general, they invented this scene idea of "defective Y-chromosome make all men by default"

Remember the time Bob tried to kill Selma? And hen wanted to nuke all of Springfield? Me neither.

>Let's talk about gay Walt Whitman shit

Bart strikes me as someone who would be either a great mechanic, or a great salesman.

>NuLisa would let Bob put Marge in a blender and she will still look the other way cause he strokes her fucking ego.

What sucked about this episode is that Lisa was getting bullied, but the intention is for the viewer to feel sorry for her. By this point Lisa already had a chunk of annoying episodes so the idea of her being a victim was obnoxious because she deserved to get beaten. Would have been excellent if Lisa in the episode started her liberal garbage and the bully starts beating her because of it until she shuts the fuck up at the end of the episode.

But nah, Lisa is a victim and survives the bully's assault and becomes "immune" to bullying because she's a sue for the bastard writers.

Or a great lawyer?

Who keeps a picture of the great lawyer who inspired him in his office. And also one of Lionel Hutz.

Because writers self project themselves in Milhouse.

This episode was the one where the male bullies explained why they never bully girls and gave Lisa bullshit reasons. The actual reason boys don't attack girls is because it's culturally unacceptable for a male to ever put his hands on a female. Even if the female is satan incarnate older simp cuck beta losers will enable the bloody hell out of a cunt to do immoral shit. And as such these older simps and bitch ass males castigate the younger boys who rebel and indoctrinate them into adopting the same bullshit about treating twats as untouchable.

the worst thing was growing up with the simpsons and relating to various traits in bart, and still seeing him get by was really nice to a troubled kid. Then in the later episodes always seeing him end up like a loser made me feel like shit.

Fuck you simpsons.

He became a Supreme Court judge in the "Itchy and Scratcy the movie"

You seem upset.

I mean. If i was a lawyer and i knew a lawyer like Lionel Hutz I'd keep a picture of him on my desk too.

For the same reason I'd keep a picture of James Buchanan on my desk if i was president.

Bard killed Smaug, freeing Rivertown from his tyranny. What the fuck did Lisa ever do?

So who's going to be the lesbian president after Trump?

Rosie o Donnell

Hillary Clinton

>Lesbian president

I think Brianna Wu will be elected into congress before that happens.

What about a lesbian trapped in a man's body?

the exact same situation pissed me off about the looney toons show, daffy was hilarious as a salesman, why did they feel the need to make him a loser in every possible way?

no.

I don't care about trans people, they can do what they want, but that will never happen in our life time at least. I really hope the Wu man stays out of politics, knowing how batshit insane she is.
>inb4 she

>dude if we're self aware this episode is terrible and raped a classic that will make it okay lmao

>after Trump

I thought the NCR didn't come about until at least the 2100's?

And then she forgets and has the nerve to tell him he's never done anything for her

Could someone explain? I no longer watch the show and get all my information about it from Sup Forums

latest episode is set just after the season 4 camp krusty episode

Actually, Bart mentioned he is still working to become a Chief Justice of the Supreme Court in that very episode.

With the current future canon (HA! Canon), Bart's still pretty young compared to how he was in the supreme court sequence. I think he might be able to turn it around.

I doubt the writers forgot about it; this past season's been them dickriding old seasons, plots and gags. "Bort" came back, and we got a sequel to Kamp Krusty. They'll probably tie it all together now.

I always imagined him dying in Iraq as a soldier.

During that episode bart is watching itchy and scratchy with a dancing with the stars parody.

If this takes place during season 4, that is a little hard to believe

Sliding timeline user

Internal consistency.
The original episode in question where they go to camp krusty had some pretty dated references. It wouldn't have been hard to make the references period - which would have been comical in and of themselves.

Its the same with TJ from Recess. Nearly every "fan depiction" of the cast as adults always show TJ as some burnout slacker living in a garbage dump.

Haven't we seen time and time again that Bart and Lisa aren't so different from each other.
Bart has shown that he can studious and compassionate towards other whem properly motivated.
Lisa has shown that she can be destructive and an attention seeker whenever someone proves to be better than her at something.

In the past, not so much anymore.

Bart is almost always a dumbass loser who is probably only a notch above Milhouse. On the rare occasions where he shows a new or hidden talent, it's usually gone by the end of the episode. Like, there was that one where he was a better jazz musician than Lisa, an then got nerve damage in his arm and it was never mentioned again.

Meanwhile if Lisa is a total shitsack, it'll rarely ever get mentioned.

>Like, there was that one where he was a better jazz musician than Lisa, an then got nerve damage in his arm and it was never mentioned again.
That episode pissed me off. Lisa caused Bart's injury, yet instead the episode ended with Bart feeling bad because Lisa was jealous of him. Lisa is never punished for causing Bart's injury.

What did Lisa do to fuck up Bart's arm?

Thing is, while Bart is often portrayed as a sociopathic little shit (i.e. the time he threatens Skinner's life with peanut butter), he's also portrayed as someone who excels if he's given structure and discipline, or something to focus his energy on. He doesn't get that from Homer or Marge. Homer's usually too lazy and Marge can't be arsed to go from 'intention' to 'action'. In the military school, when he had the drums, etc. Give him something that catches his interest and he'll blow it out of the water. Give him a way to focus all energy within a structure and he'll be excellent. For all his 'rules are for losers I'm a rebel', Bart really does his best work when he does have something grounding him.

But he's not getting that kind of engagement at home or school, so he goes with petty hijinks and schoolyard cruelty.

She brought home a bunch of stray animals (including fucking zoo animals) and a tiger bit Bart's arm, causing the nerve damage.

She was adopting lots of animals, strays and ferals included and hiding them in the attic. Bart came up to see what was going on, a tiger cub panicked and mauled him.

did she do this intentionally to fuck up bart?

also what episode was this? I want something to get mad about.

All Lisa episodes recently are wasted pontetial, it could have been a great episode of Lisa learning that your genes do not make your intelligence and you shouldn't let self-doubt or your legacy get the better than you. Then they pull that bullshit with only men becoming dumb and the gene being real.

Or what about Lisa getting sick of Mr. Burns corrupting the church with his capitalism, we could had an episode of why God shouldn't be exploited, but nope, it gets tossed aside quickly so that we can rag on why Christianity sucks and why Buddism is so much better because Buddism has super special celebrity guest star Richard Gere.

She was jealous of the attention he was getting as a drummer, so in a fit of pique, she gave up jazz and decided her new thing was caring for animals. She didn't do it specifically to mess with Bart, but she was extremely careless.

To her credit it wasn't intentional. Bart went up to the attic where the animals were and for some reason the tiger kind of... fell on him.

Episode is Jazzy and the Pussycats, season 18, episode 2.

what ep?

thanks

S18E2 "Jazzy and the Pussycats"

Exactly. Marge's problem is that she's too soft on him. She keeps him from going too far with his pranks and mischievous deeds, and she trusts him to do the right thing. Marge keeps him from being evil, but she doesn't put him on the track towards being successful. It really sucks too, since Bart has consistently been shown to have artistic talent and interests, yet his mother the artist never tries to help him. And keep in mind, Bart's the child she seemed to bond with most, until the show made everyone love Lisa.

Bart having so much potential makes a lot of sense, too. His father is the same way, as seen int he newest episode. In a way it's kind of uplifting, because the characters who get shit on the most can be the most productive and skilled when they try.

Friendly reminder though: Bart could have been a safety monitor and grown up to be a police officer, but Lisa ruined it. He could have been a drummer, but Lisa ruined that. He could have been a hockey player, but Lisa got involved and ruined that, too. Bart isn't just a loser because he's not supported, Lisa is indirectly ruining his life.

It's because they wish they were writing a different show, or because they wish they could have the characters actually grow up and then for it to not be like The Simpsons anymore.

>Bart isn't just a loser because he's not supported, Lisa is indirectly ruining his life.
See Lisa's Sax.

> Dr. Pryor: Heh, very good. Marge, Homer, I believe your Lisa may be gifted.
> Marge: That's wonderful! But still, can't you do anything for Bart?
> Homer: Marge, he's five, his life is over. Lisa's the wave of the future!
> Lisa: Wave of the future!

Bart was abandoned as early as kindergarten to make way for Lisa and the episode goes on to show that negative attention is the only attention he can get.

I don't know if I'd quite agree on the safety monitor and hockey bits. The former was more of a tragedy and, I thought, really highlighted how much Bart cared for his sister. Lisa was spiralling out of control due to that shitty guidance counselor's life coaching and Bart stepped in to cover for her when she crossed the line. Lisa was falling apart and Bart was the only one who noticed in time to act.

The hockey thing... there wasn't really any resolution to that. Lisa was just as good as Bart at hockey and they just decided that they didn't want to be pitted against each other like attack dogs. So the reset button got hit, Lisa sucks at sports again. In that case, Lisa didn't do anything directly or indirectly to Bart, since they both made the decision not to fight each other and it wasn't a case of one outshining the other, since they had skills in different areas. Bart was a really good forward and Lisa was an excellent goalie. When Bart and Lisa are in sync, they're at their best. Foiling Sideshow Bob, rescuing Itchy and Scratchy, there's lots of good earlier episodes where they work together. Later seasons make it a point to highlight that only Lisa does anything: "You can say it. I bring nothing."

Marge is also too much a pushover. I think my contempt for her reached its apex in the episode where Bart overeats himself into a heart attack. Angry Ned put it best: "Your family's out of control, but it's okay because you have gooood intentions!"

Agreed on the drummer bit. There was also the episode where Lisa was jealous of Maggie. She gets really jealous really quickly whenever she's challenged as 'the best'. And not just jealous, but spiteful and mean.

To sum up: I miss good Simpsons.

>Bard is a big piece of shit
You're damn right he is.

bards are just fucking terrible at everything

>it's a "Lisa forces Bart to find truffles for her so she can sell them but she's actually stuffing her fat maw with them and Bart never gets a cent" episode

Have you even seen 5e? Bards have full caster levels, can cast spells from any spell list, and their preferred weapon is now Finesse for free. Bards are awesome these days.

Basically pic related

>bards are just fucking terrible at everything
I bet you are a warrior pleb that only thinks about killing and his swordfu
bet you can't even do magik while dancing around the battlefield

Sounds like overcompensation.

Lisa raised in a house where shes the best constantly and can't stand it when challenged or facing anybody possibly better than her at something.

I think Lisa is never going to ammount to anything shes too petty and jealous anywhere she goes in life she will generally find people smarter than her. It seems like she will eventually just find some job where she is the smartest and can never be challenged by anybody and enjoy that.

>Bart finally finds something he's good at
>Lisa finds a way to ruin it
>Bart ends up a loser
>But it's okay because Lisa says something nice to him at the end

we only keep a bard around for when our dicks get dirty and we need someone to wash them with his mouth

>Its a "Lisa cant think of 3 good things Bart's done for her" episode

Nigga when I'm countersonging the sirens and nympths and shit trying to Jean Grey your +1 will save ass into going gay for your own Greatsword AND tossing out buff, heals, and CC you'll be glad I'm there.

>user.

You know lisa told someone to check their privilege just last month right?

Reminder Lisa literally tried to have an innocent girl killed because of jealousy for a guy.

>tfw loved Bart as a kid and associated with him a lot
>only character on TV who's a class clown/prankster and isn't shown to be a complete bully or asshole
>only kid on TV with an abusive alcoholic father that seems genuine and to be have actually written by people who understands what that's like and isn't some kid wearing a potato sack covered in bruises with broken ribs who's completely separated from the regular mid-lower class suburban social dogma
>always shown as being a decent kid underneath all the shit he does and his bad grades
>always shown as growing up to be a failure

It just hits too close to home, bros.

To be fair to her, she didn't think the girl would be in much danger; she just gave her wrong directions. The girl wouldn't have been in any danger at all if Bart and Homer didn't blow up the beaver dam and flood the area.

Reminder that Lisa isnt really a Buddhist, just a cunt who wants to feel morally superior to everyone around her. She does give a damn about faith/spirituality, she abandoned Christianity because her local church had to sell out to stay open.

>she abandoned Christianity because her local church had to sell out to stay open
That was so fucking stupid. I prefer blatant racism over noble savage bullshit. Both are retarded but the latter is more infuriating for some reason. At this point Lisa is an unintentional parody of a hipster college girl