How do you do it properly? I have a TV with Netflix in it, I have a bed

How do you do it properly? I have a TV with Netflix in it, I have a bed.

ask dad to come in and massage your boipuscci

>in it

Well nothing of yours is going into anything else.

>maincharacter sees a girl
>says hi
>cuts to them banging on a wooden floor

user most of us here never even kissed a girl, let alone brought a girl over and had sex over a movie.

Lose weight

heh

So....am I cooler than everyone here?

>falling for the forced meme

nah you're probably still an entry level pleb casual in terms of films

OP's here. Why do you think I'm fat? Also I have a gf that's why I asked how to do this the right way

viral marketing has gone to far

>text her to come in the house and that the door is unlocked
>text her to come in bedroom and make herself at home, find a movie
>say that you are picking up food at store and will be home shortly
>hide under the bed and every once in awhile knock on the bed and make spooky noises
>when she calls and says shes hearing noises, just say "the house is haunted"
>quietly take a shit and fling the turd from out under the bed onto the tv and one onto the bed if there is any leftover
>record all of it with a nightvision cam and send it to Hollywood to see if they are willing to make it into a paranormal activity revoot

I just assumed if you need advice on how to fuck a girl during a movie you're pretty repulsive. I mean, there's no technique to it...

>be me
>put some shit on Netflix
>gf gets into the show and we don’t fug
This fucking meme man

True :/

Watch something that doesn't destroy the mood. I could have sex through a holocaust movie, but when the subject is sad or disturbing or anything slightly negative my girlfriend goes "oh no please I'm really not in the mood for that now".

i thought this was cringe until the end piece about filming it and sending it to hollywood when i laughed

If a girl invites you to watch movies alone,that's it,you are gonna make out at least.

>girl asks me to watch movies and chill
>I bring "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" because I honestly thought she wanted to watch a movie
>the movie starts and I start teasing her that she is not watching the movie I can feel her watching me
>she then just looks at me and I go for it and kiss her


Later we turned on the tv late at night and Gattaca was on,she said that she thinks that Uma Thurman is hot and and I said you are hotter and she gave me another round.

Thanks for reading my blog.

...

I fucking hate this shit
WHY CAN'T YOU SHOW ME HOW TO MAKE GIRLS LIKE MY HOLLYWOOD
It's fucking lame

It's called Netflix and cuck. It's what happens when soyboys try to Netflix and chill.

I used to think these letters were fake...

>take a girl to my hotel room
>we start watching fight club
>getting touchy
>pause the movie and we fuck with sweaty half naked brad pitt looking at us the entire time
was a good experience

what does sex with a condom feel like?

Bag of sand

I hope the next edition of your blog details how a group of walrus' assailed you in a parking lot and ultimately they took turns with you

bag of salt

plz tell us more

doesn't feel like much

The trick is that the girl already wants it. You just have to act cool the whole time and at some point you have to man up and start touching her, her arm, face whatever.
If she doesn't stop you at that point, you win.

not as good as your hand, truth be told

like you're screwing the plastic bag recycling bin at the super market.

it feels like somebody filled a sack with coins and sand and hit you right under the tongue

this. bareback (if it's not hotdog in a hallway tier)>Palmella Handerson>condom

>finally get laid with a big girl
>find out my penis is too small
>condom keeps falling off during penetration
>came within 30 seconds
>got some jizz in her vagina and I had to run to the pharmacy to get some birth control

Getting laid is too much effort

If they actually want to fuck you the Netflix is just an excuse to get you in the house without having to up front ask for sex

Pennies and milk

nickels and 4 second old half and half

Get a NatSoc gf then

How big are you? I'm afraid I'm too small too, but haven't even shown it to a woman let alone had sex.

I came inside some underage girl I had just met because it was too good to resist. Went to buy her that day-after pill and holy shit that shit is expensive as fuck.

>not getting explicit written consent

>>finally get laid with a big girl

Condom fallling off is more of a girth problem than length, but you can always get those tiny gook condoms lmao

holy shit. are you me?

sex is a constant embarrassment.

Big girl as in fat, Hansen

Woo a girl and gf her. Then you can watch pirated episodes of The Golden Girls and fuck her right in the pussy while Sophia watches.

how do you as a person become like this?

>not yify and fap while crying from loneliness
Pleb

Fear of the pusy.

are you implying I did something wrong?

Like you're fucking a plastic bag

>how do I get a small dick
well gee.

Put one on and jerk off. It'll feel like that, but even less because your hand is most likely tighter than any vagina.

Similar thing happened to me but the young cute girl behind the counter at the pharmacy said she couldn't give me the morning after pill because it had to be given to the patient. Fucking embarrassing experience.

you have to ask for it with semen still dripping from your cock

holy wow. I don't get that at all when I go.

It feels like you were circumcized

It's a huge dose of hormones, they kinda want to make sure the girl knows that before taking it.

2 pro tips
1:take a shower and groom yourself (ez pz)
2:when you see a girl you like walk up and talk to her about literally anything.
Girls aint gonna walk up to you, mi compa, not because youre automatically a gross human being but because theyre busy doing other things. Engage them and see what happens.
The best part about girls is there's a lot of them, strike out with the qt cashier at starbucks and there's another one when you're walking to your car.
The board's most popular discussions involve capeshit,waifs, and GOT, you'll be fine.

hard work and dedication.

why didn't you just go with the girl?

>How big are you?

I'm a big guy for you

B B B BASED

she didn't want to be seen with him out in public

curvy like this or walrus mode?

Wasn't convenient. She lived about a half hour ride away (motorbike) and I had work that day as well. She started her period that day anyway so the pharmacist just told her it was fine.

I had a short term gf who didn't like condoms because it felt shit or she was allergic or something. She told me "it's ok we can just fuck like animals during my period and then wait 3 weeks" so we did that for like 2-3 months. And later another girlfriend told me that apparently this is bullshit and she could have gotten pregnant. I might be a dad and I'll never know.

ethnicity of the men behind these posts - white

Might have been a latex thing. I think the latex free condoms are better anyway. Yeah, girls can get pregnant that way, not sure the exact science of it, but in our case it was the day before her period we had the sex so I don't think the spunk can live long enough to be potent. The pharmacist ought to know.

Yeah 2bh I don't remember the science either, but it's probably something like that. If you come inside her on the last couple days of her period then it might still be alive enough to make her pregnant. Scary thought after coming in that girl so many times.

I don't blame you. Most hot-blooded men would do the same thing presented with the offer you were.