THIS SUMMER

THIS SUMMER

BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAANG

ONE MAN

ONE DECISION

BAAAAM
>Trailer starts
>Cthulhu walking twards a city
BAAAM
>THIS SUMMER
BAAAM
>Cthulhu destroying buildings with people fleeing
BAAAM
>You will go insane
BAAM
>Music by Hans Zimmer starts playing
>Tom Cruise Millitary man is going insane
>IT'S TERRIBLE AAAAH
>I AM GOING INSANE
>Tanks failing to shoot him down
BAAAM
Cthulhu: The awakening
>Tanks failing to shoot him down
BAAAM
Cthulhu: The awakening

SAM, NO!

FROM THE DIRECTOR WHO BROUGHT YOU

*earth shattering fart noise* BWWWWWWWAAAAAAA

Son of the Mask

and Ace Ventura: Pet Detective Jr.

why would an aquatic creature need wings

AND MANY MORE QUESTIONS WILL FINALLY BE ANSWERED

They are rather space gods from another dimension.

BWAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!

If they make a cthulhu movie, I have a few directions that MUST be followed if I'm to approve of it:
>No action star/Tom Cruise shit
>VERY limited action, very very few (if any) explosions
>limited view of cthulhu, this is not godzilla. Make him ethereal and wildly intricate in his design, but don't stray from the basic storyline. Showing the statue of clay from the actual book would be WAY more effective than the creature in full view of the camera
>have a trippy dream sequence filled with the elder gods and shit. I wanna see something similar to that bland doctor strange shit so it's accessible to normies on some level, but filled with carnage and tentacles and space.

If there's one 'franchise' that deserves an extended universe, it would be H.P. Lovecraft. They don't need to all tie in together or be dependent on eachother, but they do need to be made. I wanna see Herbert West: Reanimator coming out in the same span of time as a Nyarlarthotep and Dagon movie

ROB SCHNEIDER

THIS GUY IS TOO BIG FOR ME

The studio execs also have a few directions, they are the opposite of your directions.

AW HELL NAW

>TFW they will never allow my dream to happen

I cannot be alone in wanting a proper Lovecraft movie, right???

Arkham was just an ordinary town UNTIL
*record scratch*
Something FISHY happened

This summer, experience the adventure that's RLYEH out of this world!

>Slow panning shot of major city
screen fades to black
>Tom Cruise sitting in a loft apartment, wood furniture everywhere, desk stacked with leather books
quick cut as door knocks
>John Malkovich stands in the doorway trench coat, fedora.
>"what can you tell me about this"
>pulls out Cthulhu statue
BRAHHHHMMMM
gentle violins start
BRRRAAAUUUUUUMMMMMMMMM
>Violins play faster as shuttering imagines of tribal dances, dindus dancing near naked with white women. quick pan of stormy ocean, looming shot of giant gateway.
Screen goes blank
>shot of Cthulhu opening red eyes
Black
>shot of shadowy figure standing over stormy mountains
BRAHHHHAAAMMMM
>Giant foot steps on city bus
>Tom Cruise is running
BRUUUUUMMM
>suddenly he's with blond female and helpless 6 - 11 year old you know he's going to be stuck with saving the whole movie, probably x wife
>Cruise desperately reaching for kid about to fall from broken sky scraper as
music gets more intense screen starts shuttering as music climaxes
>Solider clawing at his tacticool gas mask as blood leaks from his eyes
>Apache Helicopters getting swatted by tenticals
Black
music stops
>Monster roar
>Cut back to Cruise looking at the statue
>"where did you find this?"
back tracking dolly shot of statue on desk as giant leg walks past window.
DIRECTED BY J J ABRAHMS

>Pacific Ocean, off the West Coast
>group of fishermen on a boat
>random banter
>"Ocean Man" playing in the background
>huge waves appear out of nowhere, almost capsizing the boat
>massive thing rears above the water, revealing a multitude of hanging tentacles
>"Uh, guys? We're gonna need a bigger net"

>it ain't me starts playing

This would be unironically kino.

I'd watch a Tom cruise cthuhlu movie. But good people should die because it's realistic

Cthulhu isn't aquatic. Thus why he's stuck in his city and why he got btto by a boat.

THIS SUMMER
>"Hello, pest control"
>"There's something living in my attic"
>"What type of animal?"
THINGS ARE ABOUT TO GET
>"It's hard to tell"
>"Rats?"
>"Try something more ancient... and eldritch"
WEIRD
>"Roaches then?"
>"Nope"
>"Can you at least describe the thing?"
*record scratch*
>"I'm afraid not, ma'am"

ut ut ut

get better taste then, idiot.

THIS MEME THREAD
>BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP
IS GONNA GET
>BRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
MILKY
>MOMMY MOMMY MILKIES PLEASE!
COMING SOON
>SNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
TO A KINOPLEX NEAR YOU
>mmm oh yes my dear... very stinky! SNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

>I cannot be alone in wanting a proper Lovecraft movie, right???

There are several great Lovecraft movies, just not made by Hollypoop.

How big of a risk would it be (and would it pay off) if they had those two actors as the mains and they both ended up insane/dead at the end? Sam eaten by fishmen and Dean completely nuts in the end as Cthulhu breaks his mind.

> mmmm, R'lyeh
I like your directions bby.

SNNIIIIIIFFFF ahh is that a hint of garlic chutney i detect?

I reckon they should start with The Shadow over Innsmouth for a nice tight 90min movie with good acting that peaks the curiosity and then smash it out of the park with At the Mountains of Madness while hyping it up as The Thing 2.0 to draw in all the normies.

>Not wanting Tom Cruise in a lovecraft movie
Fuck you

>cthulu is a soyboy with dyel legs
pass

We can't have Lovecraft movies because they are scared to let the audience decide. Think about it, the Marvel movie watchers can't even be trusted to understand a joke without a setup and an explanation and a reaction.

...

He would objectively be perfect for a lovecraft movie.