Actors you've personally met

>she's tiny and has surprisingly great foot game.

The eyes remind me of a guy I knew in highschool. Yeah, I assfucked him. Why are you asking?
Did you seriously think even for a moment that this story wasn’t going to end with me fucking his ass? We’re obviously not working on a level of mutual respect here.
You see a fine ass like that, clothed or unclothed, you’re going to find a way to fuck it. You’ll figure out a way to lure it away from all the other asses in your classes. You’ll devise a plan to trap it in the locker room with you, watch it quiver a while in fear. You’ll relish pulling the pants and then underpants off of that ass, and then gently easing yourself into its puckered hole. You’ll cherish the memory of the long strokes you take, in and out of that ass, slowly working your way to climax. You’ll lose your mind in ecstasy as you climax deep into that ass, and then keep fucking it, pumping your own cum out of that ruined colon.
Anyways she’s a 6/10

>surprisingly great foot game
lmao no

0/10 knees

Did you ask her about her dead mom?

stop bullying Mara

she will always be pudgy and cute

She seems like one of those "looking at me suggestively and asking me for my number is literally rape" feminazi types.

user she hasn't acted in anything since the 90s.

Anyways, did you ask her about her twink cousin?

She wrote for cracked sooooo...

>pic of woman looking at the ceiling while laughing

why is this even a thing

what is it supposed to demonstrate?

Her cousin Abby has better tits.

What's next for her career, you ask?
Me shoving my burgeoning erection into her tight pink slit. Her squealing, squirming, and ultimately letting out a moan as her eyes go wide and she realizes that a real man is deep, deep in her gash. Me thrusting in and out, starting with gentle thrusts that are both slow and long, allowing her to feel my entire length, and then progressing to a fast, deep, hard pounding that rams against her cervix. Her feeling the pain of her cervical opening getting smashed again and again but biting her lip and bearing it, and then ultimately experiencing a rush of relief and ecstasy as her tiny womb is flooded with my hot, thick cum.

Why does she look like she's wearing a human skin mask

I saw Ryan Gosling at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.
He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”
I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.
The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.
When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical interference,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

>Tmw you'll never witness bisexual Mara indulge her taboo desires with an inexperienced but willing Abby.

Who's this monster? Makes Maisie look hot

shes a little shy, but really sweet. Made some small talk while I drove her in my cab one day. Probably also helped that I didnt spurg out and ask for an autograph or anything

it's infetterence you newfag

Matilda was a terrible movie (which I never watched) and she should feel terrible.

I met Emma Roberts in the comic-con in pic related. I shook her hand then immediately rushed back to my hotel and fapped like a madman.

So, yeah, she indirecrly gave me a handjob

>has surprisingly great foot game.
So how's that restraining order?

i met jeff bridges, he let me shake his hand and get an autograph

cool guy

Robert DeNiro (Call him Bob)
Katie Holmes (Much prettier in person. Smelled great)
Dennis Leary (Can't stop talking or making 'jokes')
Jason Sudekis (Wore all denim everything, down to earth)
Robin Williams (Didn't recognize him at the time he was so incognito)
Dominic Cooper (Held his wallet)
Ralph Fiennes (Looks like shit in reality and amazing on camera)
Kyle Mooney (As awkward as he is funny)

Also on the sexual assault front
Harvey Weinstein (Smelled like wet cigars and Gucci for men. Was wearing a velvet black tracksuit and a gold chain)
John Lasseter (Gave me a big hug)

Ive met keanu reeves

was dope as fuck

I held the door open for Gilbert Godfried once as he was leaving the bank and I was entering

I saw Reviewbrah at a Publix in Florida yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and get in the way of a review or anything.

He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”

I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “You know? It is what it is” and wiping his hands off with a napkin in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Publix Chicken Tender subs in his hands without paying.

The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be listening to shortwave and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.

When she took one of the subs and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to check if they were still recording “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each sub and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by rating her an 8.7 really loudly.

Johnny Knoxville is a cool guy. Basically what you see on Jackass but more mellow if he's not in front of a camera. Looks a lot older in person.

Aziz Ansari is the most unspectacular celebrity I've ever met. Felt absolutely nothing when he was in the office. He was nice enough, though, and exchanged pleasantries with the receptionist even though she was being a little annoying.

Dan Harmon's a dick and few people like him. I also worked an event where he reportedly shit his pants and had some girl run to Target to get him a change.

Josh Brolin is a really quiet guy. Only met him very briefly though, so maybe it was just a weird day for him.

indirectly*

or maybe he's just far more subtle than you give him credit for

>tfw no pale raven haired gf

what did she smell like?

So you also got a handjob from your dad at some point.

no i didnt, i always wash my hands before jacking off. I didnt wash my hands when i shook Best Emma's hand
unironically a vanilla-y smell mixed with sweat. she was sweating like crazy, it was in Cali in July and there was a long line of people

Nice guy in real life

who the fuck is Abby?

Mara Wilson aka Matilda

>REJOICE

Matilda is Benji Shapiros cousin
>still not believing hollywood is run by jews

i knew ellen page in high school

no one ever claimed hollywood doesn't have a lot of jews working in it.

A funny ceiling

>John Lasseter (Gave me a big hug)
#(You)too

Adam from workaholics, girlfriend loved the show so I went up and made conversation at a club I knew he'd be at and got her a picture as a suprise

He bought me a drink and gave me his number. Told him I never watched his show and he seemed pretty interested in hanging with people that don't suck his dick like every other celebrity.

Fine pair of Jew mommy milkers.

Haha, cool man! After that did you guys eiffel tower that tight looking slampiece in the center?

I met ASR during prime Sup Forums fetishation era when we were both around 15 and I was posting here at a Make a Wish meetup that I got to go to because I was going deaf. There were a couple of other low tier stars and athletes in a conference hall in a hotel. The rest of the kids there were mostly either in wheelchairs or noticeably autistic/retarded so when I went up to talk to her she took a liking to me because I wasn't visibly fucked up. We talked for a bit until the chaperones told me to move along and meet Tiki Barber and other people. When lunch came we made eye contact so I walked over to her and we ate together and talked about her job doing events like this and acting. She told me she hated doing that movie with the shark biting her arm off because it was a full time stressful job and she had to do school at the same time. She was also super Christian and told me more than once about how God was involved in some way or another. We eventually got up and went on a walk around the hotel for a few minutes but then some handlers came and told us that it was time to meet more people and I didn't get to see her again.