>character is shown eating in bed
>doesn't worry about crumbs all over the bed difficulting his sleep
Character is shown eating in bed
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>character doesnt just punch the center of the bed gathering all the crumbs then lick them up
>character doesn't drag errant feces and toenails up into his bed every night on the bottom of his feet
>character doesn't swing a pillow at the bed to banish the crumbs to an unknown dimension
>character shown eating
> doesn’t finish meal
this
>character sleep in the bed
>still has shoes on his foot
you made this thread worth clicking on
>characters having a huge fight in the kitchen
>break plates/glasses/cups on the floor/counter
>leave without cleaning it up
gives me anxiety every time. Mr. and Mrs. Smith was the worst for this.
difficulting is not a verb
>character is shown eating his bed
>doesn't worry about where he'll sleep later
This is why I wear sneakers in bed.
>difficulting
I always have "crumbs" or particles of some kind in my bed even though I don't eat in it. Can anyone explain this phenomenon to me? I typically sleep naked and I'm wondering if they might be dry skin that's flaked off while I was sleeping or something.
>difficulting
it's your anal flakes.
i googled it and it's actually a word. lel
>character is at a buffet
>doesn't go back for more at least 7 times
nice
...
im actually forced to do that, because we're doing heavy renovations over here, and I don't want to get tetanos.
Do you like to sleep in the bed with dirt?
>tetanos
nice
no but there's dust all around, and I don't wanna get my socks dirty from walking on the carpet.
also, gotta have my shoes in my feet if I wanna bring them to my room, no?
Serious answers only please.
>Character smoking outside
>another character walks up "I haven't smoked in years...but I can I bum one of those?"
what time of day are you showering
im being serious, your anus sheds a lot when you sleep
>eating in bed
You are human filth. I hope you know that.
>character doesn't wake up with an indestructable boner
>doesn't have to stealthily make it to the bathroom without IT being spotted
>doesn't have to almost break his dick downwards to be able to have a piss in the morning
There's no real schedule. Usually take them after a BM which can be in the morning, the night or both.
Interesting. It doesn't really seem like fecal matter though. They seriously look like bread crumbs except they aren't.
>tfw anus shedding season
have to clean the sheets every two months because so many anal flakes
it's probably stuff from your hair if it's not washed, any particular location on your bed that you can discern?
I just ate two daves triples and a fry tonight in my bed, a tear rolled from my eye as it deepthroated me on its way down to my stomach.
there are ants entering my orifices as we speak. in this moment I am euphoric
I thought everyone did this?
my boner arches downward, checkmate
>character doesn't have his daily fap in the morning when he wakes up with a natural boner and doesn't need porn
those are the best
if I think even a single sexual thought in my dreams, when I wake up I can cum in a couple of minutes
Yeah, the torso area.
It's just particles from your body/scalp/skin/hair, and maybe debris that's stuck on to you that then falls off in bed. It's impossible to be 100% "clean." I usually shower at night hoping it keeps my sheets cleaner than sleeping in a full day's worth of sweat/debris, and clean my sheet often, but if you look closely at them, you can see "particles." Also wear pajamas so my body isn't rubbing dead skin/sweat/etc. directly into my sheets. You might wanna look at super comfy pajamas. Probably keep your sheets cleaner than sleeping naked.
It’s dead skin
have fun with doggystyle lol
What does having a morning boner feel like?
Succubus dust.
Okay thanks, doc. I was skeptical because I remove it every time before I go to sleep and it's always back the next night. Didn't think it would accumulate that fast.
that's why it's f.. nevermind
>character wears shoes indoors
like having a boner, in the morning
>difficulting his sleep
Let me guess, English is not your first language
seems odd, if you shower before sleep that should deal with the issue, otherwise the sheets are abrasive somehow or you're doing something really weird in your sleep
like having a steel rod where your penis was. i could probably hit it with a hammer and feel nothing.
I miss being young.
I don’t have a penis so i wouldn’t know what a boner feels like in the first place
>character doesn't sleep on the couch because laying in bed all day has conditioned him to associate wakefulness with laying in bed and because the couch is more comfortable anyway
Please be in jackson
How do you get rid of it other than jerking off?
some people live in their own filth
My sheets are really soft and it still happens even after I shower at night. I'm just going to continue to assume that it's dead skin.
>larping as a girl that wants to be a boy
like having a little arm that swings from side to side when i walk
>friend who hasn't smoked in half a year bums one of my rollies saying he wouldn't do it if i had normal cigs
>ask him if he's sure, then give one to him
>met him last week, fully relapsed and on a pack a day
it didn't have to be like this
are you actually scrubbing in the shower or just letting water flow over you?
>He doesnt have his own place
Nigga the only time I wear clothes at all in here is when people visit.
...
Hold the tip of your finger and bloc blood circulation.
And add a bit of sensitivity.
I missed this post. Thanks for the info. One of the most productive convos I've had on Sup Forums in a while.
it goes away on its own
it sucks. its annoying because its only good for a single thing, which you cant do 95% of the time when a hardon props up.
I use soap in the necessary areas, but I only scrub full body with a washcloth like once every few showers because I get really dry.
>he doesn't have a girlfriend and 2 daughters taking up the bathroom every morning
i remember what it was like living alone.
>unironically taking care of your girlfriends daughters
you don't jerk off you have a piss. it's a piss boner, not an aroused boner.
they're mine, obv. and unless you want a slap that's the last time you'll mention my daughters, friend.
post pics
pizza roles?
are they cute? hot?
i'd slap your daughters ass
Do boners just pop up randomly?
are you getting yourself off to pretending to be an 8 year old girl? are you stroking with the left hand and typing questions you think would be phrased innocuously in some fucked up iteration of a movie that only exists in your head?
Honestly, are you actually LARPing right now? cause thats gross desu.
if not, yeah sometimes. when you first hit puberty its awful because they prop up all the fucking time and are really hard to suppress. after a few years its not half as bad
kek
>character has a sex dream
>doesn't wake up and have to change the bed sheets because there's cum literally everywhere
To my knowledge I've never had a nocturnal emission.
>literally a dream makes you cum
how does this happen
It’s just dead skin the other guy is looking way too deep. Use lotion on dry body parts like feet and knees
Sit on your bed, take your shoes off, change your socks to clean ones... now you are fine. Do you sleep in your dirty overalls too?
>straight character is having a dream in which he masturbates
>doesnt start fingering his asshole in his dream, and later waking up and writing it off as just a dream
witnessed
You don't wanna know user.
Nocturnal emissions only happen to people that don't initiate ejaculations enough on their own
>not having a mini-vacuum by your bed so you can vacuum yourself off Uncle Buck style
you only do this when you live with your parents and your mom cleans your room, when you live on your own you realize you gotta clean all that up at some point
I once slept in my work clothes 2 nights in a row.
>male character sits down on the toilet to take a shit
>doesn't pull his penis forward and angle it downward with his hand while moving his body slightly forward so that the inner rim of the toilet seat keeps his penis angled downward and pointing into the bowl in order to avoid pissing on the toilet seat and onto the floor in front of toilet
Just blew my nose and now blood is pouring uncontrollably out of my nose and my keyboard is covered in blood. My stomach hurts too. What's going on, webmanons?
>character has a shit
>doesn't start bouncing on the seat to dislodge any remaining shit
cold/flu has weakened your nose. blowing/picking it has ruptured vessels.
it'll stop in 5 mins.
...
>character is able to stay out of bed for the entire day
>character isn't on the verge of passing out by 4pm if he doesn't take a nap