My dad always told me life's like a lighthouse - it never shines on every ship...

>My dad always told me life's like a lighthouse - it never shines on every ship. Well I'm still sailing out there in the storm, Ray, and you have no idea what kind of cargo I'm carrying.

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>It’s a dog eat dog world out there Ray, and I’m the fuckin’ Chinaman. Caspere knew this

I miss these threads lads

>One step forward, two steps back. Thing is I'm not walking here, I'm hopping and this game of hopscotch is still stuck on the first square. You know what I'm saying, Ray?

>They told me life’s like an elevator, Ray. Full of ups and downs and ungrateful people. But tonight I have a different thought that leaves me a bit apoplectic... Strap yourself in, Ray, because this elevator’s going sideways

>They say life is like a box of chocolates. Well, Ray, I've got one chocolate left, and it's white chocolate.

>He hasn't been in the ground all of two days, and he's already clawing his way back up to bite me in the ass. I'll tell you this Ray - Caspere may be a ghost, but he's anything but friendly.

> A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do, Ray. My dad always said, shit or get off the pot. But Ray? I'm in India and there are only designated shitting streets.

>They say if you want to get to know someone walk a mile in their shoes. But you know what, Ray? All I've learned about Caspere is he's a size 10.

>They say life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn't last as long for fat people.

>My old man said sometimes you have to compromise, give tit for tat in the face of something insurmountable. But I'm done, Ray, I'm going to give the whole tit. I'm Christina fucking Hendricks, Ray.

My daddy always told me to check my privilege. Well, Ray, I'm all out of trigger warnings and I literally can't even.

>my uncle always told me life is like a white castle, you are the customer and there are a bunch of cockroaches and it takes about ten minutes to get my order through and my breath always smells of onions.

10/10

>You're still worried about your ex wife? Well, Ray, there are always more fish in the sea. The problem is that they're all pufferfishes, and get fat as soon as you get a hand on them.

Amazing.

Kek

Life dealt me a bad hand but I worked at it. I got all the cards together until I became the fucking dealer.

But guess what Ray, we've been playing chess this whole time.

>We're all dealt a different hand at birth that gives us different options, but not everybody knows what to do with theirs, Rooney. You might have the box of legos, but I've got the instruction manual.

This is making me want to watch True Detective season 2 again.

>they say it takes two to tango, well guess what Ray I think I'm gonna take up tap-dancing

>My old man used to run a suck and fuck when I was a kid. Sold it to some schmuck named Sneed. He sells seed and feed now, Ray. It's Sneed's Seed and Feed, formerly Chuck's Suck and Fuck. And I don't understand it Ray.

yahoo.com/entertainment/video/most-ridiculous-lines-true-detective-140000357.html

kek, some actual lines for comparison's sake.

the fact Caspere's name is spelled Caspere never stopped bothering me

muh papier mache

They say you don't know if you're an alcoholic until you try to stop. Well, Ray, the thing is, I've never had a drink in my life. So what's that make me?

My uncle’s wife’s son says you can’t fight city hall. Well Ray I’m burning down the state house.