ITT: we predict character interactions in infinity war

>Thor: "Who the hell are you goys?"
>Starlord: "We are the Guardians of the Galaxy, but you're probably more familiar with my name, Starlord...."
>Thor: "Who?!?"
>Starlord: "Again? REALLY?!?!"

cringe

Nice copy paste

>Rocket: "Dude looks like a Grapefruit"
>Drax: "*Laughing* His head does look like a Grapefruit!"
>Thanos: "*Angered* My head is not a Grapefruit!"
>Starlord: "Alright Grapefruit boy, dance off! You and me!"

>*Thanos admires his dance moves and becomes slightly aroused

WE WUZ GROOT

Marvel movie jokes sound like they were written form YouTube comments of 13 year olds

PLEASE GOD

I NEED THIS

FUCK

if this doesn't happen I will FUCKING KILL MYSELF

How do we make the avegners 3 dialogues more Raimi tier?

>Black Panther: so we're some sought of... Avengers Infinity War?

kek

>Thanos: "Give me the stone!"

>Spiderman: "Fuck off you purple drank nigger".

>Tony Stark: No offense, spaceboy, but we don't need help from you and your pet raccoon.
>Rocket: I am not a raccoon.
>Starlord: That raccoon just saved your ass, metal mouth.
>Rocket: I AM NOT A RACCOON!

>Spider-Man: oh my god, dude! Is that Captain America? Dude, dude... is that Black Panther??? Holy... dude, dude... is that... is that Hulk??? Hooooooooly
>Starlord: Ahem
>Spider-Man: ... Who are you?

>Thanos punches Ant-Man, knocking him to the ground
>ANT-MAN: Anyone got any orange slices?

don't give them ideas

>Anyone got any grapefruit slices?

Hahahahahaha this

>there are people who unironically want this

>Iron Man and Dr Strange say something really obvious
>Wong: No shit Sherlock
>Camera pans to both in a confused look
>Audience burst to laughs

Fucking kek

>Starlord: So why are you called the Avengers?
>Captain America: If we can't protect the Earth, you can be damn sure we'll avenge it.
>Rocket: .... That's freakin' retarded. Why would you name yourselves after the contingency on the outcome of your failure?
>Captain: I... I don't...
>Starlord: The raccoon has got a point.
>Rocket: I AM NOT A RACCOON

*Thanos arrives to earth
Spider-Man: "hahaha you look like a purple Homer Simpson"
Thanos: "I am not Homer Simpson"

Kek'd

I would exhale loudly through my nose

god damn it I fucking giggled IRL

I loved this bit in civil war though

Lel. Fuck you, that's too smart for Marvel

>Spider-Man arrives at the battle
"It's you who is out Thanos, out of your nigger loving mind!"

Jesus christ Raimi

>Steve Trevor arrives at the new Avengers base
>Hanging out and talking to people when Stark comes up and grabs him by the shoulder and tells him very sternly to "come with me, Cap. Should I still call you Cap?"
>He leads him down to the basement
>That's when Steve sees him
>Spider-Man is completely naked, on his hands and knees, on top of a large blue tarp
>A single bare lightbulb swings from the ceiling
>Thor and Starlord both fucking him, one in the ass and one in the mouth
>His eyes are rolled into the back of his head, and he's covered in semen
>The words "COCKGOBBLER" are scrawled on his forehead in permanent marker
>Starlord, fucking him in the mouth busts a nut down his throat, and he swallows it all
>He then starts screaming "FUNNY POWDER, FUNNY POWDER" over and over at the top of his lungs
>Stark hands Steve what's left of Captain America's shield covered in cocaine and instructs Steve to blow some in his face
>Steve bends down in front of him and he coughs up a huge glob of cum onto the tarp and looks Steve in the eyes, all while still beng fucked in the ass
>He grabs a handful of cocaine and placing it in his palm, he blows it in his face
>Steve has tears in his eyes and silently mouths "but you're in high school"
>He stands up and Falcon takes his spot and starts ramming Spider-Man in the mouth
>He then tries to leave but Stark tells him "you have to stay until all the coke is gone lardlungs"
>He sobs for the next 3 hours doing his duty until all the men are satisfied and Peter passed out in a pool of jizz

These actually work though

>Tony: I'm Iron Man.
>Drax: You are not, you are only flesh.
>Black Widow: I'm Black Widow.
>Drax: You are not black, but I grieve for your lost husband.
>Dr. Strange: I'm Dr. Strange.
>Drax: You seem quite normal for a human.
>Thor: I am Thor.
>Drax: I'm sorry you are in pain.
>Hulk: I am Hulk.
>Drax: Yes.

>Black widow: "just like in Budast"
>Hawkeye: "you and I remember Budapest very differently, but at least we didn't have a racoon as an ally"
>Rocket: "I AM NOT A RACOON"

>End credits scene
>Professor X appears

I actually like the first three lines

>Audience bursts into applause until their hands are bleeding

>the Uncle Ben flashbacks Spider-Man has while fighting Thanos

Raimi went a little far in this one

Whoa calm down Raimi

A dialogue between Doctor Strange and Iron Man will be glorious.

>Thor: DUDE it's my HOMIES from Earth! I'm so happy to see you, righteous bros!
>Thanos: Ah, the mighty Thor. You will bow before me in subj-
>Thor: Oh look it's Thanos! Gnarly dudes! Let's, like, totally kick his ass now! I've got these killer swords!

*Rocket saves Stan Lee in a Stan Lee cameo appearance
Rocket: "Don't worry old man, the Guardians are here"
Stan Lee: "woah a talking racoon"
*Rocket kills Stan Lee in anger
Rocket: "Say that again you old kike"

Good lord Raimi

>End credits scene is just Feige's face stretched to full screen resolution with the X-men and F4 logo on his baseball cap

>Avengers, it's good to see you again. I brought the orange slices in case of emergency.

Good stuff here user

>tfw Stan Lee will never get killed in a cameo

>ending
>Nick Fury
>we need help
>it's time to get "HER"
>cuts to Captain Marvel wherever she has been since the 90s

I really hope he makes a cameo in Infinity War, even if it's just him and no one else from Agents of SHIELD

>Iron man: Hey! Aleister Crowley in the cape, why can't you just wave your magic wand and make Thanos disappear?
>Dr. Strange: Do not liken me to that charlatan Crowley. I possess dread powers of which your mechanical mind could not fathom.
>Iron Man: Whatever you say, Harry Potter. Can you or can't you?

SO GLORIOUS!!!! xDddd

This actually sounds plausible tbqh

>Steve has tears in his eyes and silently mouths "but you're in high school"

You're so cool!

>implying Marvel plebs would know who Aleister Crowley is

Well in the first place, Doctor knows Iron man cuz he is so famous. But iron man dont know nothing about doctor strange.

>Spider-Man fighting Thanos
>Spider-Man: That's a cute outfit. Did your husband give it to you?
>Thanos: Woah woah, what?!
>Black Widow: Ugh
>Captain America: Casual homophobia is NOT cool.
>Black Panther: I can't, I can't even with this right now
>Ironman: I'm sorry for this everyone, he's young, just give him time to educate himself
>Thanos: Uh, is he old enough to know it's 2018?

The reshoots did a real number on Raimi's original script

>Starlord: WHOA! Looks at all this cool stuff! You can play music on a computer now?! I've missed so much!
>Cap: Now you know how I feel!
*laugh track*

>First scene with Thanos and Avengers
>Thanos steps forward, towering over them
>Scene is genuinely tense and foreboding
>Iron Man: "Well... he looks bad"
>Audience: *bursts out into laughter*
>Black Widow: "Seriously???"
>Audience: *Screaming and crying with laughter*
>Thanos: *falls over and farts*
>Audience: *Rolling around on cinema floor laughing, several people passed out*

90% on Rotten Tomatoes

Needs to be Everett Ross for maximum keks

quipz. i hate them. end disney fascism. sign the petition for snydercut

Captain America: Hey Wanda
Wanda: Thanos killed Vision. I want to cry but i left my pacifier at home.Ccan I put your cock in my mouth and suck on it while i cry?

sheeeeiiit

I like this one.

He got killed in the deadpool one

*unzips pants* Yes Wanda. I will help

KEK
I really wish Tobey would had made it to the MCU.

>Spiderman: Whoah, it's Homer Simpson, and he's purple!!!
>Thanos: RAAAAGH, I AM NOT HOMER SIMPSON!!!
>Drax: You are purple, though. The boy with spider-like powers it right.
>Thanos: ENOUGH OF THIS NONSENSE!!! *lunges at Drax*
>*Spiderman shoots web, and pins Thanos to a wall*
>*Ironman flies-by*
>Ironman: Hey Homer Simpson, how's it hanging?
>Thanos: RAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHH!!!!!

>Guardians 2 - prostitute robots shown
>Spider-Man Homecoming - Ned talks about porn on computer
>Thor Ragnarok - grandmaster orgys mentioned

>infinity war - full blowjob shown

wew

>Thanos, my archnemesis

>Thanos: oops, I dropped the Infinity Gauntlet

He didn't copy paste it. Read his post again

>Battle in Wakanda
>It ain't me starts playing

>infinity war - full blowjob shown

who with who?

Truly, it was an Avengers™ Infinity War™, in theaters May 2018

>"but you're in high school"
why is this so funny.

>161 likes
just shows how Sup Forums is irrelevant

hilarious.

>Battle of Wakanda
>gangsta rap starts playing

>Movie starts
>First scene is just Kevin Feige and Robert Downey Junior playfully throwing money at each other
>"Hahaha, these dumbasses will buy anything"
>Movie is just this for an hour and a half

98% on Rotten Tomatoes

not a blowjob. a lovejob. it's an act of love and comfort

Then Avengers 4 will everyone have participating in a superhero orgy. Say, what if the ending would be similar to Sausage party?

This gets me every time.

>Black Panther to Tony Stark: be humble sit down

I just want a touching emotional scene between iron man and spiderman.
Ironman is lying on the ground, his suit broken, spiderman towering over him.

Iron-man: I'm sorry. I should have done more. I'm sorry.
Spider-man: Get up stark. GET UP. We need you.
Iron-man: Don't fight him. I can't lose you too.
Spider-man: We're not giving up.
Iron-man: Listen to me. Thor found a racoon. Go talk to him. He will fly you into space.
Spider-man: Jesus, how hard did he hit you.

>black rats on twitter: "OMG NIGGA JUST QUOTED KENDRICK, RESPECK"

>Stan Lee: "Can I die now?"

>Thanos gets killed halfway through by pic related

WE WUZ AVENGERZ AN SHIT

As a culmination of the MCU, Stan lee gets sacrificed on film for real, finally putting him out of his misery.

leave Stan alone

>captain america and winter soldier are standing quietly after huge battle.
>Captain America: "I still can't believe you're an actual commie faggot."

>Guardians of the Galaxy arrive and explain Thanos to the Avengers
>everyone looks at Thor
>Thor: the evil, rampaging space tyrant is no relation of mine!
>Thor: ... this time.

>>Steve bends down in front of him and he coughs up a huge glob of cum onto the tarp and looks Steve in the eyes, all while still beng fucked in the ass

Steve looks at Steve in the eyes. Wait what? There are two Steves?

>CLIMAX OF PART 2
>MAJOR FUCKING HAPPENING
>ALL HEROES AROUND FUCKING FIGHTING AND SHIT
>THANOS WITH THE GAUTLET FUCKING NIGGAS UP
>10 YEARS ALL LED UP TO THIS MOMENT
>HYPEST FUCKING SHIT
>*freeze frame*
>*camera pans out as the frame because a stylized drawing*
>*transitions smoothly to a drawing board*
>it's Jack Kirby
>by the windows behind him you can see that it's dark out
>he's eagerly drawing, smile across his face
>door opens
>it's Stan Lee
>"Hey Jack, still here?"
>"Go easy on yourself, alright? I can't run this business without my moneymaker"
>Jack tells Stan that one day these will be the biggest thing on the planet.
>"What, comic books? It's nice to dream but I don't think-"
>"No Stan. Heroes. These characters and what they mean to people, they'll outlive us all."
>"Eh, maybe. Let's get to finishing up that issue first, alright?"
>"Goodnight, Jack. Have a good weekend."
>Stan closes the door.
>Jack goes back to drawing
>RESUME CLIMAX

lmao that's the worst thing I've ever read

>Seinfeld_theme.mp3

>Steve Trevor

>Steve: Hey Tony, remember when me and my friend had to beat the fuck out of you and then you screamed at me with tears in your eyes about how this shield belongs to you?
>Tony: Yeah I really needed some orange slices.
>Drax: What are ORANGE SLICES?
>Black Widow: Vitamin C supplying fruit cuts.
>Drax: I would SLICE oranges to pieces and drink their vitamin nectar!
>Starlord: That's great big guy, we'll get you some Tropicana™ later.
>Hawkeye: Are you guys talking about orange juice right now?
>Thor: This world does have many great foods, I still cherish my fond memory of getting a victory feast of shawarma with my friends after the battle of New York!
>Spider-Man: Oh at that falafel place down Park avenue?
>Black Widow: Okay boys can we get down to work? *defeats entire army of drones singlehandedly*
>Hulk: HULK EAT TINY SHAWARMA!
>Deadpool: Did someone say chimichangas?
>All: NO!
>Thanos: When I've razed your Earth, I will enslave you all to be my personal cooks for my reign.
>Black Panther: My people will not be enslaved again.
>Starlord: Wow dude, did you really just bring up slavery right in front of a black guy?
>Nick Fury: MotherFUCKER you wanna know about God damned SLAVERY? Say NIGGER! Say it ONE FUCKING TIME you purple faggot! Say NIGGER right to my goddamned face!
>Gamora: I apologize for my father, he is... From another time...
>Steve: Wait, when did "nigger" become not okay?
>Drax: THANOS! These are MY niggers! And you WILL NOT enslave them!
>Black Panther: Uh... Thanks?
>Stan Lee: Did you know that in 1955, an issue of then popular Marvel comic, Combat Kelly, used the n-word three times?
>Spider-Man: This banter has been going on forever, at this rate this really will be an infinite war haha!

Rogers and Trevor I gathered

I wish Marvel were tasteful enough to end the franchise this way

So Sup Forums is recycling jokes from fucking youtube comments. This place is a joke.

>*Loki stabs Thor and betrays him for the 100th time*
>Thor: "NO BROTHER WHY!?"
>Spider-man: Holy shit!
>Ant-man: "Does anyone have any orange slices"
>Black widow: "Just like in Budapest"
>Starlord to Loki: "Dance off, You and me"
>Hulk: "puny god"
>Groot: "I'm Groot"

>This place is a joke

and you just realised this now;

>end the franchise
That will never happen.