Why did Goofy become a dad and not Mickey or Donald when they're the ones who have longtime girlfriends?

Why did Goofy become a dad and not Mickey or Donald when they're the ones who have longtime girlfriends?

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I think the more pressing question is "who's the mother?"

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because Disney doesn't want to imply Micky has sex

Honestly? I've always wondered the same thing.

Shiet

Goofy had a phase in his cartoons where he was the everyman, remember the cartoons where the whole world where Goofys like the sports ones or the roadrage one. In some of them he even had a kid(dunno if it was the same as Max) that he take care of.

If you think about it, with this background it made sense for Disney to put him as a father.

I always assumed she was dead.

He's a mouse. Of course he fucks.

And ducks are the rapists of the avian world. They do screw- literally- as their vaginas are dick-shaped.

>doesn't want to imply Micky has sex

They've been implying that for a long time now.

>Why did Goofy become a dad
That is the question

>Mickey or Donald when they're the ones who have longtime girlfriends?
That is the answer

For Mickey or Donald to become dads, they'll HAVE to marry. They also can't work as widows without implying Minnie or Daisy are DEAD.
Goofy is the only one without a long time girl. You can make him a single parent widower without showing his dead wife. Can't do that with the others.

Mickey can't be a dad because that would mean Disney's mascot would have had to have had sex.

Mickey and Minnie will have had to have fucked without a condom in order to have a kid.

So give it to Goofy; parents can connect to how difficult it can be to connect with your kid and kids can identify with having a goofy, embarrassing parent acting all weird. And just like that, they have some common ground.

Goofy brings people together moreso than Mickey.

>they'll HAVE to marry

>same last names
>dating for decades

Being married shouldn't be that much of a game changer for them.

Because Disney has a sociopathic lust for killing off 1/2 of a marital relationship. If Donald or Mickey got married, SOMEONE would have to die. Goofy does not have a clear 'wife' or 'gf' (AT LEAST not a popular one) so they gave him a kid and killed off some unknown mother, because Disney. Hates. Parents. That. Are. Not. Widowed.

There IS a black-&-white short out there about Mickey & Minnie having kids during Mickey's nightmare. According to rumors, it's presented to couples who marry on Disney property the night of their wedding.

Because he was sometimes a dad in classic shorts.

Christ. I want my girlfriend now. She's alive, but this suddenly made me really freaked out that she's not here with me this very second. I'm too high for this shit.

They could always have Minnie or Daisy be the girl they date after moving on from deadwife.

Mickey, maybe. Wouldn't make much difference for him, but it would be a big change and Disney isn't going to greenlight big changes for him.

For Donald it wouldn't work. Over half of his and Daisys stories are about one or the other checking other people and the following jealousy. Daisy and Donald only work because they're both horrible jealous cheating assholes and nobody else deserves that shit.
Marriage would just cut their stories in half.

Let's see...
Sno-ope. Evil Stepmom, no father around.
Pi-no, the boy was made purely out of wood.
Dumb-oh. No Mr. Jumbo.
Cinderella. Orphan. Got it.
Alice in Wonderland. Only shown with an older sister.
Peter Pan is the first exception, but all the Lost Boys are orphans.
Lady & the Tramp was about dogs, so doesn't count.
101 Dalmatians had a shitload of puppies without any parents.
Sleeping Beauty was adopted, so Aurora doesn't have an actual father figure.
The Sword in the Stone was about another orphan.
The Jungle Book had the boy literally raised by wolves.
And Aristocats had a single, unemployed mom.
Bam- yeah.

The last think Disney should do is marry Mickey.

Then you'll get a Spiderman situation where any change back to him being single when the plot calls for it is strongly resisted.

Holy shit man please tell me this is is just some kind of fanmade shit

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>tfw i can relate

They're afraid of commitment

From Mickey's Mechanical Man, 1933. later colorized edition

>Goofy became a dad

youtube.com/watch?v=LxbLprH00Jc

It's related to what this user said: But to put it differently, Mickey and Donald already have characters to play off of in a close, familial sense. Goofy had no one, which made it easier to set up a new on for him and to round out his brand at the same time.

Adding a kid to Mickey or Donald radically changes their existing dynamics. Half the point of the Goofy and Max stories was how much it didn't change Goofy's character.

Do you think Mickey's testicles have to follow the same rules his ears do and so they'd be drawn looking the same from every angle

How many girlfriends did Goofy have?

Goofy used to be portrayed as an everyman. You can be Goofy, I can be Goofy.

Rapunzel's parents are both okay. And they'll be okay up until her wedding at least.

>Lady & the Tramp was about dogs, so doesn't count
>101 Dalmatians
>And Aristocats

Oh please, Mickey is the face so of course he'll never have kids. Donald have his nephews who are, for all intents and purpose, his kids, which he does see them as in many stories

Which one is the most like your dad, Sup Forums?

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Mickey and Donald pull out.

it's always weird seeing Disney promoting anthro and human romance.

Whenever they visited paralell worlds, Goofy basically was the tall, exotic foreigner that made all the ladies moist.

Because Goofy is a man whore, who never uses protection.

>Beauty and the Beast

Because everyone else could use protection and be safe.

Goofy fucked it up and got her pregnant, because the joke is he fucks everything up.

I can't unsee Goofy's teeth protruding through the skin.

Because duck sex is never consensual.

This is some kind of proto-Goofy, not the readl Goofy

>his wife is fucking the milkman

>tfw I love my gf unconditionally and been with her for years
>tfw sometimes have that feeling of wondering what I would do if something happened to her

It's awful.

At one point, he was literally every man (Baseball Fever, I think, for example).

Because Goofy is more prone to accidents.

That's George Geef, the 50s everyman Goofy.

>when everyone is Goofy, no one will be

Why was Mickey and Donald absent from Goofy's life after the start of Goof Troop, to the point that he was forced to become best friends with fucking Pete?
Is House of Mouse canon, and did Max squander his college education to become a waiter at a second-rate night club that's only propped up by Pete's wallet?
Where does Kingdom Hearts fit into the timeline, if before the events of the Goof Troop, why did Goofy give up the shield to live a more quiet life? If after, what happened to Max, was he killed by the Heartless?

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This was such a good comic. Worth the wait.

That was back when he was known as George.

They were smart enough to use protection.
That's why they have nephews.
Or they just wanted to admit there is such a thing as sex at Disney

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>implying he doesn't get the ladies wet in every world he's in

I think Goofy is the huge dick guy every girl knows gossips about and fucks around with.

Wouldn't be surprised if he has more kids running around somewhere.

>Why was Mickey and Donald absent from Goofy's life after the start of Goof Troop, to the point that he was forced to become best friends with fucking Pete?
Licensing issues

Either:
>be a Grimm brother
>want to write story about kid
>everyone's life sucks constant shit and never stops sucking shit
>the only way to really hammer in a tragic backstory is to kill off some parents

>want to make movie about plucky kid/kids
>it's Disney so a romantic subplot would be the cherry on top
>creepy to use kids
>gotta use parents
>divorcees are disloyal sluts, gotta use widowers/widows

That's the risk you take for love man. My girlfriend has some serious health issues and long-term she's likely to die way before I do.

It's so bizarre reading this in their voices

Goofy knows that Mickey and Donald will be the bigger successes during their lifetime. He's sewing the seeds of his own legacy. Donald knows his legacy may fade one day too, that's why he spends time with his nephews. They're both playing the long con.

I remember Walt Disney himself explaining that he didn't want Mickey and Minnie married because that'll mean Minnie will have to become a home maker and Mickey would have to get a real job.

And f if Disney descided to marry them today they will have to shoehorn Minnie on all of Mickey's comics and cartoons but not even on the italian comics Minnie has too much personality to speak of.
Also modern television loves to portrait marriage as a horrendous state of being, the Glooms from the 7D are the only married couple on TV that I can think has more snuggles than struggles

Mickey and Minnie had kids in the Christmas Carol adaption.

Obviously not canon, but at least you know what they'd look like. Unsurprisingly, they just look like Kid Versions of each other.

Well they dont want to imply that they ejaculate inside vaginas and fathers children, more specifically.

Shiet, I remember reading the whole comic once when somebody dumped it on here years ago.

Was much better than it had any rights to be.

We don't need another "One More Day"
Mickey doesn't need to sell his marriage to the devil to bring back Pluto or Goofy or some shit like that.

>americans considering some shitty secondary movies and a tagged along tv series as canon

>these replies
Christ if relationships do this to you, then fuck that noise.

>Is House of Mouse canon, and did Max squander his college education to become a waiter at a second-rate night club that's only propped up by Pete's wallet?
Happens, it's not really that bad. He did get with Roxanne again there, so maybe best timeline?

>Mickey doesn't need to sell his marriage to the devil to bring back Pluto or Goofy or some shit like that.
If hat happened for real it'll be hilarious

is the devil dicking mary jane every day in that timeline?

I highly doubt he'll appear in Kingdom Hearts.... But I suspect he's at the Disney Castle.

You mean screw-shaped.

There were both parents in Brave? And Hercules? I think that's it...

I think that's a "Goofy" but the women are just human with dog noses.

Hercs parents were immortal and could not be killed off

Donald was in the Navy, Mickey was busy prepping up to rule Disney Castle while living a civilian life.

Pete isn't that bad of a guy.

I dunno, the earth Titan got Zeus didn't they?

Goofy had some elaborate accident that somehow involved slipping and falling onto a woman.

Mistakes into Miracles shit, just without 9/11.

I wish I was there.

what else does deep french kissing lead to?