What house does /lit/ think they'd be in if they got a letter to Hogwarts?

What house does /lit/ think they'd be in if they got a letter to Hogwarts?

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I was sorted into Ravenclaw when I tried that sorting shiet on Pottermore.

Slytherin.
But this is Sup Forums so you will probably be modded out.

10% Hufflepuff, 45% Ravenclaw, 30% Slytherin, 25% Gryffindor, and 100% the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises. Seriously each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody; just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

Not only were you late, but it's bad as well

Unironically Hufflepuff. Hufflepuff is secretly the best house.

>t. Cedric Diggory

Hufflepuff because I'm a faggot.

>handsome
>talented
>charismatic
>hot girlfriend
>probably pretty rich
>died a painless death

I fuckin wish

not too good this time

Slythering
>smart, but not in a raw intelligence way, more like crafty and scheming
>will to power
>no mudbloods
>no fear of the dark arts (even Harry used one evil curse when needed)

wish for slytherin
but I'm probably gryffindor

Hufflepuff is a joke house
she did good with the other 3 but screwed up with that one

You basically have to be hardworking without cleverness for it

>Always get Slytherin
>Have to mingle with racist edgelords while the other houses hate you

>wants to be a in clever house
>misspells the name of that house


what kind of a gryf wishes to be a slytherin? You would be a hufflepuff

Ravenclaw or Slytherin desu. I'm way too edgy for Gryffindor.

>killed casually by wormtongue

yeah wat a hero

I'm not a soyboy so none

muggle

Coin flip between Gryffindor or Slytherin.

The house system is too black and white desu amigos.

Yeah I would probably punch hermoine in the mouth in a debate about house elf rights if i ended up in gryffindor.

that are hex ginny down a flight of stairs for burning the coal with dean thomas.

I'd be trying to go full on DeathEater in first year before i even knew any proper spells.

now you understand how Trump supporters feel

I'd probably get Slytherin. Wouldn't be that bad, to be honest.

I wonder what kind of bullies Slytherin are

Like, if Neville Longbottom ended up in Slytherin, would he be bullied mercilessly, or would they help him stand on his two feet because "you're one of us now"

Ravenclaw is obviously the superior choice if you disagree you know what you are

I got Hufflepuff on Pottermore, no one really wants to be in that house though I think.

>no one really wants to be in that house
I do, I'm a lonely dude, and they seem to be the most friendly and inclusive house.

When you put it that way it's not so bad. Welcome to the Hufflepuffs friend....

>Hufflepuff is the most inclusive among the four houses; valuing hard work, dedication, patience, loyalty, and fair play rather than a particular aptitude in its members.

Literally a house that women will never understand.

hufflepuff is the secret patrician's choice

Don’t forget edgy with a nihilistic sense of humour. Humour must be spelled incorrectly.

Who else /squib/ here?

Probably Hugglepuff, but I'd prefer to be in Slytherin.

>10% Hufflepuff, 45% Ravenclaw, 30% Slytherin, 25% Gryffindor, and 100% the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises.

kek'd

Slytherin has the cringiest larpers IRL, but lore-wise, at least for me, it's Slytherin or bust. Clearly the most potently magical.

I would go hufflepuff and just smoke weed and fuck ez girls with self esteem issues all day.

correct

degeneracy

a memer is never late, nor is he late

larpers overall are cringe, so your statement is redundant.

Slytherin with a Hyena as my Petronus

I hate the meme that Hufflepuff is the smoke weed and fuck around house of lazy fucks and fatties. It was literally the fucking opposite until J.K started enforcing the idea that Hufflepuff was this all inclusive hell hole where you can be mediocre as shit. By the early definitions it's the house of people that work hard and value community, justice and loyalty and aren't interested in being gloryhounds. literally all the SJWs that think they would get sorted into Hufflepuff would probably actually get sorted into Slytherin or Gryffindor.

Absolutely Ravenclaw the absolute most BASED house

Someone give me a breakdown of each house. Pls

It's that time again, lads. post results:

personalitylab.org/tests/bfi2_hogwarts.htm

Probably will get better than me. I would probably just end up a squib with these scores.

Really? I found it pretty inspired.
Guess the capthca choose for me.

So Gryffindor is the house of white knights and those that take themselves too seriously.
Hufflepuff puts their pride aside and gets shit done and is faithful to their banner.
Ravenclaw is autistic and as diverse as the Homecoming cast.
Slytherin is high society inbred Jews.

Hufflepuff best house

>when you realize there would be SJWs in that universe too and that they would pollute your house with their idiocy

I want my escapist fantasy back :C

I suppose that's a fair point. And yet, the people I've met who think they are Slytherins ... ugh. They are without fail the worst human beings. Spineless, borderline retarded, ugly, out of touch, attention whores, you name it.

>not relishing the opportunity to larp as a nazi for 7 years
I'd embroider Salazar Slytherin's initials on my collar and everything.

On the one hand, careful with all that edge, you may cut yourself.

On the other hand ... SKEW was really, really retarded.

I LOVED IT when Xenophilius talked shit to Hermione to her face. Basically calling into question the underlying foundations of her entire thirst for knowledge.

>Ravenclaws ftw

>Gryffindor
Brave
Honest
Social
Attention-seeking
Not that smart
Pompous
Chad

>Ravenclaw
Intelligent
Creative
Resourceful
Anti-social
Pompous
Avoids conflict
Virgin

>Slytherin
Ambitious
Cunning
Resourceful
Social
Conniving
Untrustworthy
Virgin-Chad

>Hufflepuff
Loyal
Hard-working
Honest
Somewhat Social
Unambitious
Avoids conflict
Complacent
Chad-Virgin

Almost definitely the latter. Like, he'd get bullied, but for all the right reasons. Endgame Longbottom would be the chaddest of the chads.

They're all de facto members of a gang.

>going to a fantasy world and learning magic and meeting magical creatures etc
>not embracing your edge

Paragon players are cancer.

If you’re not Slytherin, you’re blitherin’.

my favorite color is green so green house.

Longbottom was from a Noble House and so despite being poor would be fairly well set up in Slytherin. That said he clearly didn't have the right stuff for Slytherin so their 'one of us' mentality would have to be pretty fucking strong, much stronger than normal kids' groups in schools, for them to embrace him like that.

Then again, the Slytherins feel like their blood status is under threat, so that might make them more closeknit in a Nat Soc kind of way. Rowling didn't really let us see their world very much.

This is the HP cancer fandom who would all be muggles, squibs and hufflepuffs. Maybe a few autistic ravenclaws and low tier gryffindors. Zero actual Slytherins in the HP fandom, especially not these dumb snowflake chicks with their vacant expression and 'cute' hobbies and memey jokes ("Evil..No!" XD) fuck I hate this subculture.

I wanted Ravenclaw but got Slytherin :(

I imagine the vast majority of Sup Forums would probably be Slytherin.

It’s just one of things you need to let them have. They are tween books about magic and wizards. I read the first 5 back when they were being released. Then I grew up. It’s a neat world but nothing to obsess over. It’s perfect for adult autists

>magic can't create food
>magic can create a snake, made of edible protein

He and I may or may not make the same decisions, but there's a way of communicating things, even "dark" things, which isn't cringy af, user...

>this is important to know for real life, if you should ever have an unpopular opinion that others may find Wrong.

Why does this children series not live up to my adult children standards bros?

See
Oh, and let me guess... You're the reeeallll Slytherin, aren't cha?

19/26
Curse the muggles, mage war NOW

Each house will have its fair distribution of chads and virgins, user. Cedric in one house, HP in another, Malfoy in another (a bad example, obviously) and, I don't know. ... SOMEONE over in Ravenclaw.

..... What would a Ravenclaw chad be like???

I literally don't understand this post.

I was saying that a fantasy world should remove your inhibitions and cause you to act within it in a way that expresses the impulses and instincts which normal life would cause you to suppress, like de-populating Whiterun when the Jarl starts giving you lip in Skyrim or forcing that Wookie to murder Mission Vao in KOTOR.

Turning up to the HP universe would be a big LARP and people who would behave and study hard and pay their taxes under those circumstances are complete cowards, especially when that world has so many ways it could be exploited (memory charms, time travel, love potions, OP house elves, complete wizarding ignorance of muggle tech etc).

I would be in gay worthless faggot house.

I'm more Slytherin than both the beta that drew that 'artwork' and the ditzy snowflake floozy Harry Potter fan whom he was dreaming about when he drew it.

Do you somehow disagree that the HP fandom is beyond carcinogenic?

youtube.com/watch?v=y2jTXYxm2_Y

youtube.com/watch?v=YNqXch5OH5U

EGGSDEE I'M A NERDD

Filius Flitwick

>Slytherins feel like their blood status is under threat

Exactly. There would probably be a few who wanted to bully Neville, but he would have allies in the house: the true blood loyalists would enlist and protect him, I speculate.

based nerd!

I can't remember, did Sup Forums ever create a harry potter-themed propaganda campaign?? Seems like there's a lot of potential, there.Rowling's

Ravenclaw without a doubt. Very slight chance of Slytherin though.

...

I would disagree with you, here.

Fantasy worlds are to be interacted with in whatever manner one chooses. See, the fact that you would be sadistic in a video game doesn't suggest to me that you're "doing it right" or doing anything "necessary" or "cathartic" or in any way fulfilling the meaning or purpose of a fantasy setting.

(desu, it suggests to me that you're spineless and live your life in such a way as to require fantasy assertiveness-injections. but I don't know you, so I would never make that assumption, you know?)

...

>manlets
>when will they learn?

based potter poster

do tehe pottermore test, nigga

just some tongue-in-cheek analogies

So why is it that literally all of the smartest wizards and witches are in Gryffindor? Especially Dumbledore, like, what the fuck? He's a total Slytherin, anyway, but, like ... he's also the smartest of the smart??

Because its for children
real and watch actual art

>25%

I've never seen porn rated this low in my life.

Whoa, that's actually pretty damn impressive. (It needs to be way snappier, obviously, but that could get some of the more autistic really activating their almonds.)

>tries to flex his intellectual e-peen
>misspells a word and uses the wrong form of "it's"
>where's your precious Dostoevsky now??

That said, since you seem interested in bettering your community, which art would you recommend? Especially, mind you, for those millennials who are so enamored with the themes and settings of the HP universe?

I'd be a Slytherin, but I'd bang Ravenclaw bitches.

>2 posts late
SLIPPING

link?

none because I'm a fucking muggle, magic doesn't exist

>he thinks he's the adult in the room

Those who can practice magic are REALLY glad for narrow-minded sheeple like you, user

>What Sup Forums wants to be in
Gryffindor

>What Sup Forums thinks it'll be in
Ravenclaw

>What Sup Forums thinks it should be in
Slytherin

>What Sup Forums will actually be in
Hufflepuff

leaving aside the cringey conversationally bitchy tone of your last sentence, I find your approach to fantasy worlds to be milquetoast and anondyne and wimpy and basically soy-like.

What is the point of fiction if not to excite our sensibilities in ways that are more intense or elevated or even more depraved than the normal currents of reality?

You could go into the fantasy world and be a Saviour or a ruler or a villain or a cheeky harlequin, but to go in and just be a normie is a profound let-down of the innate and dramatic potential that is supposed to reside in all human beings.

>"Just let people do whatever they want, all choices are valid."

This is a philosophy with so little content and capacity for discrimination that it can (and does) produce only mediocrity. People like you are the reason there is so little magic in the world as it is.... you know?
And btw yes I do go nuts in RPG games. So what? In fallout I mostly shoot women in the head and take their clothes off. It doesn't mean shit about me being spineless in real life.

>Black could be anywhere my nigga

Woah tone it down there Rowling

Gryffindor is for the good guys. Basically its the Christian House. Its way too simplistic anyways. You can be both brave AND smart AND cunning AND loyal. I'd say the best combo is gryffindor/slytherin. Bravery and Chrisitan morals combined with a capacity to do evil things for just means.

I always thought hufflepuff was the house for ''nice'' people. IE useless sjw's. Today, gryffindors and slytherins would probably work together to defeat the ravenclaw intellectual elites and their hufflepuff usefull idiots in their effort to destroy the Wizard World because wizarding is 'unfair' to muggles.

Cleverness has nothing to do with intelligence.

semantics has nothing to do with lexicography

Slytherins hate muggles

The SJWs are in every other house