FINE DAY

FINE DAY

SUNDAY

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Quality shitpost OP

Why is that, Uncle Vernon?

In my opinion best day of the week.

Because there's no pastas on Sunday?

happy day, right lads?

Right you are, Harry!

Why is that, Dudley?

"No!"

Right you are, Harry. No pastas on Sunday! Ha! No dullest franchise pastas today. No sir. Not one single bloody pasta, not one!

...

the no pasta on a sunday policy is one of the many factors that made Harry Potter one of the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises. Each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody?just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though r-right
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

meh/10

>Not "I'd rather eat cold pasta from uncle Vernon's moustache than watch the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises"

If I had twenty minutes and zero fucks to give I would put a little pasta on every owl

I recently reread the series. Seeing this pasta over and over again made me want to take note of the phrase "stretched his legs" and variations of it. I didn't notice it once. Provide page numbers from the different books where this appears

Sundays suck, because the next day is Monday, the worst day of the week. All you can do is zombiefy yourself.

BRING MY COFFEE, BOY!

>thw i heard someone recite the pasta irl

>Not "Any day of week, month or year is a good day to remind tirelessly that Harry Potter franchise is one of the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises."

>Uncle Vernon, did any post come for me
>

ONE SOUND

Who fapped

user has a letter? Who'd be writing to YOU?

m-my gf hagrietta

...

y-you too

>I posted it myself Uncle Vernon

awful opener, people have to be more creative with this thing

...

it is hard to do it well and post it fast

...

YOUR MOTHER WAS A BLOODY PIGEON HARRY

PRUNED

it shouldn't be race to post it first

Then don't post it fast, post it well

Didn't Rowling say that Harry and Dudley repaired their relationship later in life?

Yes

But Uncle Vernon, there is no day more appropriate than Sunday to talk about the most galvanizing franchise in the history of movie franchises! Indeed, each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been wholly unique from the others in all aspects, yet seamlessly interlocking. Not to even mention the vibrant imagery, the series’ only low point has been its lack of rest between moment-to-moment excitement and breathtaking use of special effects, all to make magic seem attainable, to make action seem more alive than ever.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling made sure the series would never be Americanised; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant burgers to anybody - just a deservedly profitable cinematic extension of her novels. The Harry Potter series might be anti-capeshit (there is no denying), but it’s certainly not anti-SW prequels in its embracement of wonder, beauty and excitement. Everyone wants to acknowledge this. Now, thankfully, they can.

>b-but muh crap source material
"No!"

The writing is astonishing; the book was marvelous. As I read, I noticed that every time Rowling wrote of any event in the story at all, she strove to take after the great authors of epic poetry.

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time this approach was taken. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was astounded. Rowling's mind is so overflowing with literary invigoration and extended metaphors that no one can possibly write any better. Later I read a pithy, distasteful review of Harry Potter by Sup Forums. They wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are watching Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to watch 'reddit flicks'." How short-sighted they are! Certainly there were being ironic. When you watch "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to watch only the most essential of cinema.

UHHHHHHHHHH THICKERRRRR

arry

ye?

ur a wiz

imma wot?

shite

thumpin gud un

thicccc trips

nah ya made a mistake

neveh make 'nethin hap
sumat not explain?

youtube.com/watch?v=UGdK_37rfQk

but hagrid
I'm just Harry

nah

here letter
read

alrigh

OI THAT'S NOT YOUR CAKE YOU FAT CUNT

>0:11 quick power nap

lel
was the actor actually supposed to do that?

thats the joke

PETUNIABSLHESESCAPING!!!!!

That opener was shit, you gotta try harder man

Just because your faggot as wasn't the first to post it doesn't mean you get to post it twice. That's not how this works

...

Reread it retard

Moaning Myrtle. I made her squirt ectoplasm all over my cock.

>filename

MONEY?

Huh....damn comment withdrawn

When did this all happen?
I swear we were dead and had no harry potter threads for years, then suddenly there are like 3 every day

Don't get me wrong, I fucking love it. I am a huge fan of the books, but people on /lit/ are too self-obsessed, self-conscious, and insecure to talk about it ("b-because it's a childrens book!"), so I'm really happy we are doing it finally

>Horace: "Poof"
>Hagrid: "Poof"
>Harry: ".. -Poof"

HRRUUUUUAAHHHH

The joke is he's never read the books
I am yet to meet someone IRL who's read the books and doesn't like it, let alone hate it this much

I know people who love it, and I know people who mildly appreciate it, but no one dislikes it

>The swish sound when Snape waves his wand when dueling with Lockhart in the second movie
>The swish sound when Snape takes Hermione's homework in the fourth movie
Did anyone notice this?

Is reading the opener only the kino way to consume this copypasta?

AAAA RIPPEERRR!

Don't get your hopes up, these are just meme HP threads, there hasn't been any real discussion in any of them that I've seen. And fanficguy is still dead.

TURN to page three hundred and ninety-four...

user!
Hey, user!
Hey!

...Why the dry PASTA

AHAHAHAHHAAHA

i highly doubt anyone reads the whole thing every time

Too soon

HARRYDIDUPUTURNAMEINTHAGOBLETOFIYA?!?!

But ofcourz he iz lyinnn

Daily reminder scenes like that can never happen now, too many insensitivities

He's an autist!

>Falkner
I WANNA DIP MY BALLS IN IT!

Now you're fucked

Would HP work better if it was animated?

VIKTOR I LOVE YOU
VIKTOR I DO

Yes. And a TV show.
A season per book with varying episode counts.

THE CHINESE FIREBALL, OOOOOOOOOOOOH!

WITH A WOOF AND A PURR

WHEN WE'RE APART MY HEART BREAKS ONLY FOR YOU

Dumbledore said calmly

Keep at it with the pastas, you autists. Let the mods do another "Sup Forums - Naruto" and force the Harry Potter discussion down your throats. Seeing elitists idiots like you frothing by the mouth over MUH POPULAR FRANCHISE IS BAD was delicious.

it is just a bit of banter mate, calm down

Kek this was the funniest scene

The horntail-
WATSTHATBOY
nothing

>not a single Uncle Monty post

i am disappointed

I hate this place.

No shitposts on sundays?