So New Line phones you up. Wanting to get into Star Wars-type money...

So New Line phones you up. Wanting to get into Star Wars-type money, they wanna make a new Lord of the Rings trilogy/series of movies. You're given complete creative control and a sizeable budget.

Since Lord of the Rings ends Middle Earth, all stories have to be either before or during it. Silmarillion and other books are allowed, but good luck adapting that.

Wat do? How do you avoid turning this into the next souless cashgrab cancer? Or do you go for the safest route and achieve billions? How do you find the middle ground for that?

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Tom Bombadil trilogy

>make everyone a nigger
>cash dem (((diversity))) welfare shekels
>accept my 10 oscars

Say fuck you and create the Silmarillion

Doing it wrong, aragorn is a transsexual, legolas a white woman meeting her black dwarf gimli

*Blocks your path*

cbr.com/christopher-tolkien-resigns-tolkien-estate-director/

Damn, now we finna get some black glorfindel

>A hobbit falls in love with a Maia.
>Unable to confess, he is gifted with by a deus ex machina with the dark lord’s ring. Never minding the strange elven writings, he immediately puts it on, and is overjoyed to find out that he has a crush on him as well.
>But, the next day, when he recounts the previous day’s confessions to the Necromancer, he only looks at him with a perplexed lidless eye. After some investigation, he finds out that the dark lord he called is not the same Maia he fell in love with. In fact, he doesn’t exist in this universe at all. He is the dark lord’s alternate universe counterpart, who has fallen in love with the MC’s own AU self, who too is blissfully unaware of his crush.
>Hijinks ensue as the two strike up a deal to give each other their darkest, most private secrets in order to equip the other with the weapons they need to conquer the heart of their other selves. While the two chase their respective loved ones, DRAMA ensues as they begin to fall in love with each other instead and question the NATURE of LOVE.

I reboot the series, three more lotr and 2 movies about the hobbit but this time respecting Tolkien, with Glorfindel, Tom Bobadil and all, fuck Hackson

>now we finna get some black glorfindel
Will be a queer Latinx Fëanor

Sup Forumstards and phoneposters need to be purged

we wuz silmarils and SHEEEEEIT

>middle earth cooking show
>various races give step by step instructions on how to create meals and delicacies of their homelands
>shot in front of a "studio" audience consisting of middle-earthians
>orcs routinely booed and insult audience and viewers at home threatening to add them to the stew which usually results in laughter or the chef slaughtering the offender

Forget to say the main host is a hobbit and the set is in a hobbit sized kitchen often leading to the taller guests bumping their heads in a humorous manner while trying to make their meal.

I make the hobbit and do it right. The script is the original book. Martin Freeman is still Bilbo. Ian McKellan is still Gandalf. Recast everyone else who’s actually in the book. Pay evangeline lilly several million to not appear in the movie but be my second slave instead

a bad king is at war with the good king & his wizard, the bad king and 100 of his best men are in the forbidden cave drinking the water that makes them invincible (it also kills them and replaces them turn mad after 100 years ) when the good king and his wizard destroy the cave entrance and bury them for hundreds of years. the good king, his wizard and everyone else in the prologue die after 200 years except the bad guys who lived in a small dimly lit room way under the earth. The bad guys had a crazy digger who guy who constantly cracked away at the rock to escape. They argued for hundreds of years and other funy stuff happened, the bad king stayed as their king. the digger guy eventually cracks at a rock and sees a drop come through, then little spray of water comes cracking through and then it turns into a fulyl flowing rush of water that nearly fills the room and drowns them all. Eventually it stops and they see very dim sunlight coming through, the hole is large enoguh for them to try and swim through and after some awful scenes of the bad king trying to squeeze through / drown he gets through to the other side. he crawls up through the mud and gets to the waters edge in all the mud. he looks up and sees he is at the bottom of a pond that is frozen over with a huge blue ice sheet at the top dripping down at him, the sun is coming up from the other side. he feels a hand grab him from the pool behind him, he pulls it through and its his right hand man. when they are all through and recovered, they take the country by storm, killing entire villages without confrontation and nearly destroying the country and state. our protags are a guide that was leading a princess and her guards until they were ambushed, the new good king, his new wizard and some other wizards or invincible people. one of bad king' men is a wizards spy all along who becomes a main protag, the bad king's right hand man also saves a few good people and villagers which makes it sad when he dies.

>muh Sup Forums boogeyman

S-second? user?

10/10, get it fucking done

>Since Lord of the Rings ends Middle Earth
no it didnt..

Make a Dagor Dagorath adaptation with no explanation of what the fuck is going on or who are 90% of the characters.

Detailed finance show about Aragons ruling and policies on things such as taxes

FINISH THE BOOK YOU FAT FUCK

>implying he has time to while contemplating other works of fiction's finances

Kek great mind you have

9/10 because that's gay, the Maia being a dude as well

Good evening (((Abrams)))