This girl told you she was twelve years old

This girl told you she was twelve years old

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i have dyslexia, i read 21

>girls
>telling me anything

uh huh ok but she typed out t-w-e-l-v-e so tell me how you get 21 from that?

what was your favorite excuse?
>I was just coming over to tell her to be careful on the internet

Man, they really make you feel sorry for these monsters in this show

Especially the one with the dude in college.

i read it as Alien Quasi-roman numerals

I was gonna help her out with her homework

>I'm sorry

>there's no way I was going to have sex with her, I didn't even use shampoo

>The episode where the guy gets tazered

WHAT!? NO WAY!

Literally the only plausible excuse in that situation desu

i can't read letters

>ya feel me?
>yes we are filming

>i was just lonely

>I just came to tell her not to let any strange man she meets on the internet get in her house

damn niggas. I mean what are you supposed to do in that situation? IMO I would try to bargain my way out, offer money, cleaning services, sexual favors, etc and if that didn't work i would say:
"Okay Hansen, I know what I did was wrong, I've learned my lesson. Tell you what, I promise to never do this again and you let me walk away. It's like we never met, I don't know who you are and you don't know who I am, we both go back to our regular boring old lives. You walk away happy, I walk away happy, we all walk away happy. Deal?"

I wonder what's going to happen when people comment on this 8 years from now, considering its conception around 2007

>I was just trying to get to the beach.

MAGA

>We were just going out to get some hambubgers

Wouldn't ever be in that situation you sperg

Bring a gun with you if you're planning on fucking any kids in case Hansen shows up.

I like ya, and I want ya.

>mite b cool.jpg

Not an excuse, but my favorite by far was the guy who tried to play it cool and just walk away. He even made it a fair bit before it was all over.

>Gets tackled by police two minutes later

What if someone were to catfish Tom Anderson by predating on young people on the internet and then waiting for your chance to meet with Hansen himself as he and his team confront you only to reveal you're wearing an explosives-filled vest ala ISIS/taliban and blowing their whole operation sky high

and hey even if you don't get to meet Chris Hansen you at least get to meet free young people

>I came here to tell him I couldn't make it

>For the sex I am not coming

my current favorite excuse

Im running for Alabama senator and conservatives have no morals so I will likely win anyway

Upvoted

why are there two of these threads.

...

a plausible excuse is irrelevant, the crime is online solicitation, they only invite contestants to the house to embarrass them after they already have them dead to rights for online solicitation.

There is nothing you can say to get out of the situation. In fact, your pathetic bargaining just makes for good tv so it guarantees that your incident will actually make it on the episode, and you helping them make a $$hit tv show$$ is way more valuable than any money you could probably afford to offer them, or any sexual favor (which you would probably get more out of, you pathetic pervert), or your half-ass cleaning service. You know what you can do that will help you stay out of trouble in these kinds of situations? Don't harass minors online and definitely DON'T show up at their house after you manipulate them into inviting you.

Okay? Now I want you to walk out that door.

i would probably just say i came here to talk to her parents and tell them they are shit at parenting

>Since they only invite you to the house in order to embarrass you, as they already have you dead to rights for online solicitation before they invite you to the house, there is nothing you can do. Once hansen comes out, leave and get arrested.

Cawd

Did he actually do anything wrong?

A few predators got off by subpoenaing perverted Justice to handover their computers and they refused

The only way out is to pretend to be retarded as soon as you see Hansen walk in. Respond to every question with a non-sequitur:
Hansen: So did you request sex with a 13-year old girl?
You: No, sir. I am not an atheist, I'm a proud Protestant.
Hansen: Please answer the question.
You: Did you know Hitler took drugs before making his speeches?
And so on and so forth. You know you are being filmed anyways, so later on when they show the video you can present that as evidence and plead insanity. It's a long-shot but it's worth a try.

it was his birthday too.

He wasn’t gonna hurt nobody

post some links to your favorite episodes

so is hansen vs predator back now?

>I'm a youth pastor doing youth outreach trying to lead stray youth to god
only works in america though.

this country is way too religious

>my brother was going to show up but his car broke down, he sent me to tell her not to wait for him

>Once hansen comes out, leave and get arrested.
This would probably be the best thing for the perverts to do. They would still get arrested, but they would offer the most boring tv ever and it would never make it on the show.

Has there been anyone who just straight up said "yeah, i'm here for sex with this child"?

I JUST CAME TO GET SOMETHING TO EAT

Its more of how perverted justice fucked up the chain of custody thus requiring the subpoena of their computers, which would have shut them down for years.

Yes Cody Green said having sex with a 13 year old would be “the cleanest best pleasure”

They'd just adjust and have the decoy interactions last longer and be all like "THIS DISGUSTING PREDATORY PEDOPHILE RAPIST MURDERER TURNS ON THE CHARM ON THE DECOY TOTALLY UNWARE THAT CHRIS HANSEN IS WAITING IN THE NEXT ROOM LOOK AT HIM TRY TO CHARM THE DECOY WITH JOKES AND BANTER, ATTEMPTING TO GROOM WHAT HE BELIEVES TO BE A YOUNG GIRL/BOY INTO FEELING COMFORTABLE WITH HIS PERVERSIONS" etc, and make a huge deal of how scared they were when chris came out, with something like "WATCH THIS DISGUSTING SUBHUMAN ROACH FLEE IN TERROR [shot of man walking calmly] FROM CHRIS HANSEN, HE KNOWS HES ALREADY DOOMED SO HE ACCEPTS HIS FATE IN TOTAL FEAR [shot of man calmly kneeling, interlacing fingers behind his head]" etc.

It's basically what they do now.

>Just me, my mommy and my daddy
>hey! Look at this! My dad made this...

underrated post

Is this the funniest predator?
youtube.com/watch?v=BtRe4KaxfeE

>use vpn to arrange meetup so cops can’t trace you before you show up at the house
>walk in to local pizza place a few days before meet-up and get job as delivery driver
>call in fake pizza order to cunny’s house
>show up at house, 100% airtight excuse if it’s a sting, free cheese pizza if it’s not
Even if they question why you came in the door you can just say it was because the decoy asked you to come in while she got the money. Pizza man gotta be paid. Find a flaw.

they don't invite you to the house until you've committed a crime.

Pic related said he came for oral sex with a 12 year old girl

The only risk is that if Chris Hansen sees through your plan you'll probably become the most popular predator from the show.

>3 boxes of condoms

>to entrap a predator

If I'm going to go to jail for rape, I'm going to go to jail for RAPE

Or you could not be a pedophile

Kek!! Upboat!
But seriously we can't let this guy get his hands on the nuclear codes

>So you're just an instant pizza delivery man caught up in a childish prank? Well, mr user, while you've been here, the police have carried out a search of your car and have found a 'jumbo' pack of condoms, a four back of Mike's hard lemonade and a copy of Homeward Bound. Would you like to take a seat while we discuss these findings?

The only true way to do it is to go full sovereign citizen when he walks out. Say you're merely travelling through, you're not a state of Indiana and that you've read the constitution and they can't arrest you.

You're telling me you never get drunk and cry yourself to sleep while watching Homeward Bound?

The jumbo box of condoms?

Damn, it's hard to not feel sorry for the perverted bastard. Did he go home and blow his brains out like he said?

I thought that was in dog years.

MY GLASSES WERE DIRTY

That's so near the truth it's on a whole other level of funny.

He did wrong, but I do feel bad for him. His life is ruined all because he couldn't control his horny level. There's nothing "wrong" with finding a young girl attractive, especially at his age, but shit, he was stupid to try and go though with it.

That would make her about five you sick perv.

I can't afford to dirty any more socks

>I just needed a fridge to store my beer

That's from the British remake with Ian Watkins

WHAT?! NO WAY!

Whoops

>There's nothing "wrong" with finding a young girl attractive
kill yourself

absolutely disgusting. he's just a kid. The way they kept the camera on him even as he cried and cried is just sadistic voyeurism, zero journalistic integrity. Fuck that faggot Hansen, he probably is a predator himself

Im really surprised they never ran into anybody really dangerous doing this show. Youd imagine at some point theyd find a serial rapist or serial killer or something and the guy would try to stab or shoot his way out

Wanna do it raw?

There are some sexy 14 year olds. Not all of them, but some of them. I'd never try to fuck them, but some of them are hot.

WHAT? NO WAY!

I want someone to report Hansen for being a pedofile just for the memes.

They seemed to be pretty on the ball when it came to security. Anybody who they suspected of having a weapon was stopped before they got in the house.

user isn't wrong, there are some very attractive young girls. That doesn't mean they are sexy attractive, just attractive. But even if they are sexy attractive so fucking what? As long as you don't touch them or solicit them in any how is it wrong to find them attractive?

I'm not gay or anythin'

>19
>just a kid
Fucking hell Americans, can you even hear yourselves. If he's old enough to die for your country he isn't a fucking kid.

Can they actually show these guys' faces in the show without having the criminals' consent? No idea how it works in burgerland.

youtu.be/OVPEMu-5q78

>it was a proffessional collaboration

Funny how this is completely ok in Mexico, the guy is pretty young.

>Implying young girls don't love older guys.

Also isn't the age of consent 16?

LE UPDOOTS TO THE LEFT

and they say the left can't meme

>she's my sister!

youtube.com/watch?v=dUbEtSnY1Bg

Chris Hansen prank call for laughs