"Oh heya user. Sorry to bother ya at this hour. It's the damnedest thing...

>"Oh heya user. Sorry to bother ya at this hour. It's the damnedest thing, I just happened to be in the neighborhood and my car broke down. Would ya believe it?"
>"I know you're still grieving from your wife's disappearance, terrible tragedy that, by the way; but would you mind if I came in and used your phone?"
wat do

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Don't have a phone.

Keep my mouth shut. Most he will get is circumstantial evidence that will be thrown out of court anyway.

I don't own a phone, but you can come in. Just stay away from the lime pit railing, it is a bit loose.

"Hey, aren't you that guy from Wings of Desire?"

Only if you read me a story.

of course! i would do anything to assist the LAPD police department! please, won't you make yourself at home? would you like a drink? of course-- not while on duty! i shall have my butler fetch you some tea and health cookies. now, inspector... what can i help you with?

Hey, aren't you that guy that sailed the ocean blue?

how fucking hard is it to murder your wife or business partner outside his jurisdiction? problem solved

>mfw I realize Peter Falk is dead

That won't help.
Remember when he did his usual thing in London where he had no power at all?

"Aw geez, I really appreciate your hospitality user. But my wife, she's got me on this low carb diet, gotta lower my cholesterol and all that."
"Say, there's a couple questions I still gotta ask you, just as a formality ya know, department regulations and what not. Would you mind? I know it's very late right now and I'd understand if you'd rather do it at a different time."

Oui

what are the best episodes of columbo ? I love the serie but i don't want to watch every season spanning 30+ years

There aren't that many episodes.
Some seasons only have like 2 or 3 episodes.

not at all! i couldn't possibly sleep at a time like this anyway. i would be happy to answer any questions you may have. if you don't mind, i think i will eat a health cookie while we talk. shall i light that cigar for do you have any suspects yet?

I give up. I murdered the bitch.

You really caught me at an incriminatin- I- I mean inconvenient time, Mr Columbian!

>Solves literally every case with the most flimsiest circumstantial "evidence" ever
>Murderer still acts like he or she is caught red handed with their hand in the cookie jar
>"Yes, it was me, but here's how!"

WHY?

how isn't this common knowledge?

You have to have a high IQ to watch Columbo etc etc.

are you retarded? he solves every case within moments of meeting the murderer then plays mind games for days, tricking them into giving him leads for more evidence and their confession.

They don't mention his glass eye until the later episodes, which is a shame. It would've been better left unsaid. Clearly they had ran out of ideas and decided to devour the elephant in the room.

That is true, he always knows super quick, but he rarely if ever proves it.

It'll be some weird detail like "I knew it was you by the way you tie your shoe!" that he bases his WHOLE theory on.

Like any $5 lawyer couldn't shoot that shit down in seconds.

And I love Columbo, comfy as fuck. I say it out of love

come right in inspector, i mean detective, haha im rather old fahsioned as you can see by my lack of television sets. that’s a lovely coat did your wife pick that out for you?

i see you've never read Sherlock Holmes.

Does it seem odd to you that your wife's personal trainer Tyrone disappeared mysteriously on the same day your wife did?
I tell ya, lot of crazy coincidences here. Driving me nuts I can only... imagine how much it's tearing you up.

season 4 ep 3

Was Columbo episodes meant to be movies? Why were they so long? Were all shows back then that long? Good show.

wha-- yes... yes, i am very upset. stricken with grief, really. you know, now that you mention it... it does seem odd! that is a very strange coincidence! do you suppose that Tyrone... no... it's too awful to think of about such a trusted friend of my wife's... but what if he -- killed my wife? and escaped? my god... of course! that must be it.

Thank you

Episodes 1 and 2 really are the best ones IMO. The Leonard Nimoy one whichever that is, is pretty good too.

>45 min episodes
>long

Oh... no sir, Tyrone is not a suspect, ya see he didn't have a real left hand, It was a prosthetic, and your wife's killer had to have had two hands to use the chainsaw the way he did.
See I was just asking if you thought it was suspicious, not if you thought he was involved

>I'll just murder my wife on this cruise sh----
COLUMBOOOOOOO!!!!

>One of the newer columbos
>A magician killed someone
>Columbo tricks him at the end by switching the safety/danger symbols on a prop guillotine
>He essentially risked having his head chopped off just to catch the guy
Kinda ruined Columbo for me forever

And I am sorry sir, Do mind if we take a look in your shed out back? It's just these loose ends I gotta tie up. It seem on the night of the murder you said you were out their in the shed, and Tyrone was visiting your wife? is that right?

>Ahh, I finally have him out of my hai---
>Sir, Lt. Columbo is back....again

>looks like your evidence went up in smo---
>I have another copy right her, sir

why are the episodes so long?

the shed? why, i never go back there. help yourself...but no. no, no... no, Detective Cologne, whas it? Tyrone wasn't anywhere near here that night. i was away on a business trip in San Diego, you see. and my wife was throwing a party. say... i don't suppose... well... it may have been someone at the party! if only i had been there-- god! i could have stopped the murderer from killing my wife! sob! please, detective! it's too much. i must have some time to collect myself.

Didn't he actually have a glass eye but columbo's glass eye was Falk's good eye?

>pffft, you have nothing on my hairless body, Colu----
>We found your pubes at the scene of the crime, user. Now when did you say the last time you shaved was?

He was carefully watching how he placed it, and if he placed it the wrong way he would have immediately gotten out of there.

Oh, Jeez, I can see that you are upset. I am sorry sir, I can ask the rest of my questions later.
>gets the to door, opens and walks halfway out
But just one other thing before I go, you said you had a business trip, well it says sir you cancelled your flight and rented a car at the last minute?

>wat do
seriously, if this guys on your ass, best thing to do is to kill yourself and save yourself a life time in prision

i... how... *clears throat* yes, that's right detective. i had to take an emergency meeting in Fresno at the last minute. with my secretary, miss Fox. but i really don't see how this relates to... you aren't accusing me?! how dare you! my wife has been killed and you are standing around here grilling me?! go find the real killer! it's probably Tyrone and knowing that heel, he's long gone down Mexico way by this point. please leave me now, Columbert!

You're right sir, It is not an appropriate time for this.
>comes back the next day
Sir now you said tat you went to Fresno last minute?
now the total mileage on your rental car was about 130 miles, not far enough to get to Fresno and back. Do you have an explanation for that sir?

>he doesn't like the Great Santini

Did Columbo have a glass eye, or was it just his actor with a glass eye playing a character without one?

Basically, was Peter Falk's glass eye playing the role of a real eye or a glass eye?

Columbo has a glass eye but they only acknowledge it once that I can remember when he says something like "3 eyes are better than 1" when he asks someone to go with him

detective Camus was it? please forgive my behavior last night. i was still in shock. now how can i help you? Fresno? oh, yes... i did mention Fresno, didn't i? well, it's very simple: when i said Fresno, i meant Anaheim. i always confuse the two. my secretary Miss Fox can attest to the fact that i spent the night working on my Peterford account. would you care for some coffee? all of this is very strange to me. what does this have to do with locating Tyrone?

>Inviting a cop into your home

No thank you on the coffee sir. My wife won't let me touch the stuff. The thing is sir I asked Miss Fox and she said the same thing, but she didn't mention the rental car sir. Sir would it surprise you to learn that Miss Fox was sleeping with Tyrone?

Columbo was 2 hours long kiddo.

Yes. Columbo was part of a rotating group of series that would air one night a week.

Are you black? Why wouldn't you invite a cop into your home?
You got something to hide?

Because they have a legitimate monopoly on violence, and are more than willing to use it.

she what? well... in that case she will be looking for a new job tomorrow. sleeping with my wife's murderer? i'll make you a proposition, detective: come with me now and we will re-trace all the steps i made that night, beginning with my helicopter flight to LAX. have you ever been in a helicopter before?

Cops have a monopoly on violence? Are you joking?

Sorry, mixed up my words. A monopoly on legitimate violence.

So you are indeed black then.

Run me through your deductive process, I'm not getting it.

White people aren't scared of letting the cops into their home.
Ergo, your black.

The murderer actually rarely ever admits how it was done.

The only one I can recall off the top of my head is the MENSA guy and that was barely admitting it. He just got too arrogant and revealed how he did it.

No? You can legally use violence to defend yourself

Oh, I see, you just have a faulty premise

s2e6 (Leonard Nimoy) and s3e7 (Johnny Cash) are my favourites probably

So you assume the cops are going to wait patiently outside until you agree that they can come in and then they are going to beat you which will tank the case against you.
Yup, your black.

>Are you black?
No.
>Why wouldn't you invite a cop into your home?
Because it's my property and I have the right to refuse anyone without a warrant.
>You got something to hide?
Not an argument.

I assume nothing. I just minimize how often I deal with groups known for using violence to achieve their ends. It's worked well for me.

>See Columbo
>Dodge hard left
>He now cannot see you, and thus cannot interrogate you
>Stay in front of his glass eye until he gives up looking for you and leaves
EZ

>cops
>use violence to achieve their ends
How often did you see Columbo ever use violence to achieve anything?

Allow me to explain what he means.
The state has a monopoly on the legitimate use of violence. Anyone who legally uses violence has permission or delgation from the State. The state will allow cops to use violence, or allow you to use it in some situations. But the hallmark of an effective state is that all violence is contained within the law, or is sought to be corrected by the state through regulatory mechanisms, ie, police

So user is basically saying he is uncomfortable with any agents of the state, because the state has the ability to use violence, and as a soy boy, it makes him feel sad

oh geez that would be swell, Isn't that something? you can fly a helicopter. You are an impressive man.
>While up in the chopper
(shouting over engine noise) Sir I think there is another thing you should know about your wife and Tyrone, It seems they had been seeing each other for months, and miss fox would sometimes join them in their activities. It seems Tyrone has been found and is willing to testify that YOU sir are the murderer and Miss Fox has also changed her story. It seems that by murdering your wife you cucked yourself even harder than Tyrone ever could, Now she is in charge of your business, they are getting married and you are going to jail where you will literally become another man named Tryone's bitch.
Don't worry sir the police are waiting at LAX, but take your time sir, this dangerous situation I always get myself in to with a killer never turns out badly, you know you have been beat and because you are a gentleman you will just take this chopper straight in to custody

I wouldn't call the ever-looming threat of violence "sadness," but you're close enough I suppose.

>flies helicopter directly into the Hollywood sign

Is this show kino?

Yes.

Everybody gotta die sometime, Red

That's why we invite gangbangers into our homes for no gain, right?

>legitimate violence

In theory. Unfortunately in the United States the Democratic Party employes the use of subnational actors such as ANTIFA and BLM as its militant wing and forces the federal government to turn a blind eye towards their actions.

I've had police in my home. I was fine. Can't speak for gangbangers.

Lawyer.

If you can prove it, You'll have quite a case on your hands. Either way, that isn't a legitimate use (ie, enabled by law) show of violence, and, in theory, the State would crack down on it.

Again, risk for no gain is stupid. I wouldn't engage in it.

I would if my wife disappeared and I wanted the investigator to find her. Sorry you killed you wife, bro

He's just black and doesn't trust the poe-lease.

I remember hearing about an episode where Columbo initially has the wrong guy, but then the guy he was tailing dies, leading him to the real murderer. Is that an actual thing or have I been lied to?

>huge crash, big explosion
Just one other thing

Theres a few with that kinda premise like the episode with Norm from cheers as the racing horse owner

youtube.com/watch?v=YJ26K3nVM_0
How would you guys feel about them making a film about a young Colombo on one of his first and toughest cases?

that would be hot garbage. Colombo's strength as a character is that he comes out of nowhere, his origins and even his personal life are cast in mystery and doubt. that's a huge part of what makes the show great. Young Colombo would be as bad as Mrs Colombo

>Colombo's strength as a character is that he comes out of nowhere, his origins and even his personal life are cast in mystery and doubt

none of that would be in the movie, it would just be like regular episode expect grander due to bigger budget.

About how long minus the ads?

Seems like a bad idea desu
The fun of the show is that everyone underestimated this shabby-looking, seemingly oafish detective who's actually a seasoned veteran and catches people by picking up on microscopic details. If you do that with some rookie who's just finished the academy, it'd come off as kind of arbitrary and hard to believe, like Nancy Drew or something where a little kid outsmarts several 45 year old men. It'd also muddy the waters a bit if you try and do a romance or something with the eventual Mrs. Columbo

No ads. The length of episodes varies, most are like an hour and a half and some do reach 2 hours.

Was Mrs Columbo real?

Frankie