ITT We write a better Star Wars flick than the garbage Disney is about to shit out

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WHITE

you objectively cant. you have the force awakens as the predecessor

The Holiday Special: Special Edition

they CGI Princess Leia into every scene and she is snorting coke off her finger

Ill start
>Opens with Luke meeting Rey
>He starts to train her but realizes she is too dangerous or whatever
>meanwhile Kylo Ren tracks Rey down
>He arrives on the scene just as Luke is dueling Rey
>Luke kills her in a shocking scene
>Kylo Ren flees and Luke starts hunting him down

>The Resistance is going to shit after snoke kills Carry Fisher
>Poe and Finn go through some political machinations to fill the power vacuum
>Movie ends with snoke saving Kylo Ren from Luke
Rotten tomato score on opening weekend is 22% and the star wars franchise is ruined

true

So Snoke is an ancient evil that is trying to open a Force-powered time portal to revert the Force back to it's primordial state, giving raw power to every living being. The Resistance is trying to stop him.

So Leia gets killed by her emo son and Rey is training with Luke, but Luke has gone crazy and is starting a Jedi cult and he calls it the Knights of Ren (Ren being the progenitor of the Force from ancient times). Kylo been workin' for Luke, but the First Order's job is to STOP Snoke, and Kylo Ren was a double agent. The Resistance and First Order join forces, open the portal.

Snoke is pretty powerful, and when Rey enters the portal, Snoke causes a distance and she only gets sent back about 100 years or so. She lands on what she thinks is Jakku, but surprise, it's Tatooine.

She is sold into slavery, and eventually Snoke finds her. He fucks her, and she gets pregnant.

To hide her shame of being a harlot, she takes on the name of Shmii Skywalker, and the movie ends with her pregnant with Anakin Skywalker... aka, the Last Jedi.

And the cycle just goes on forever.

Quick - someone write a Wookiepedia page

kinography

The MCs are a pair of incestuous lesbian twi'lek twins.

Ok heres an idea :
Luke dies in the first 15 minutes of the film. He refuses to train Rey and she gets butthurt. He delivers the "not gonna go how you think" line and then dies kinda like Yoda in ROTJ, Its revealed later that he did this so he could become a force ghost. Kylo Ren sees snoke order Leias death and runs away. He meets up with Rey and they team up. Then we get a lot of time with snoke and Hux. Poe and Finn spend the film rebuilding the resistance after the loss of Leia. Its revealed that snoke is already a force ghost and he and Luke have some kinda weird force fight in the end which Luke loses.

that honestly wouldn't be half fucking bad

>wahhhhhh muh star wars is not the way i want it

How about it turns out Rey is actually a partial clone of Luke. When his lightsaber was discovered by...whomever, so was his hand which was used for the cloning. As a way to truly replicate the Skywalker "awakening," she was dumped on a desert planet until she came of age.

What if Ray was cloned from Luke as a project by the Part- I mean the Empire. And her entire ordeals are just the empire testing her through a very controlled simulation. But they didn't anticipate the arrival of the real Solid Sn-, I mean Luke Skywalker?

Rey gets BLACKED while Luke jerks off in the corner.

A group of Mandalorians who bring the ways of war back to Mandalore, kicking out the Empire and pacifist government. Would take place after A New Hope.
No force, no lightsabers, and could have Boba Fett as a cameo for the audience. Having no force and lightsabers worked for Rogue One, I think this could work big time

I would suck Rian's dick if this happened.

>And the cycle just goes on forever.
Very creative

>The circle is now complete

Aight lemme pitch something to ya. Not a mainline SW movie but one of the anthology ones.

A former bounty hunter living in a shitty apartment somewhere in the ass-end of Coruscant takes odd jobs for a living now. He drinks to forget. He saw the Empire’s rise, and couldn’t have done anything to stop it. The only things he has now are his alcohol, death sticks, a small alien puppy thing, and a massive secret: A lightsaber stolen from a dead Jedi. He’s had it hidden for years, was told that one day a group would come looking for it.

One night, he finds his home ransacked, alien puppy killed, and the lightsaber stolen. Seeing no other recourse, he gathers what he can and sets out to get the lightsaber back by any means necessary.

Literally just a noir set in the Star Wars universe.

Mandalorians are such fucking cucks. Still assmad about losing a war 3000 years ago, lose their shit and form a dichotomy of warmongering overcompensators and pussy faggot peaceniks, produce a whopping ONE person who accomplishes anything and he does it off screen, while all his Clones are massive, abject failures, including the one that everyone creams their pants over.

What a fucking joke of a species. Not to mention Karen Traviss schlicking herself off to them at every opportunity before all her terrible, mary-sue characters are rendered non-canon and forgotten in five minutes.

So, John Wick: a Star Wars story?

>A story can't have an end

>while all his Clones are massive, abject failures

Have you watched Clone Wars? Each one is different and they have personalities.

And Mandalorians are known to be the only people who can best a Jedi in 1 on 1 combat. They're a warrior group, and I think they should be given a chance to be shown that they can be the badasses they were during the Old Republic

Are you implying that wouldn’t be fucking amazing

my soy'd brain read that as female bounty hunter

Rey uses force powers on a Porg to throw it in a bucket of water and acts like it's a cute joke but Luke catches her and is worried that she's torturing animals. She gets frustrated by the pace of the training and leaves.

The first order attacks a rebel base where they kidnap Leia. Finn wakes up from his coma as an imperial storm trooper again for comic relief.

MaRey Sue goes to rescue Leia and discover some new godlike force power when they kill Leia. Maybe control the elements like in air bender. This is some dark shit and she wrecks the first order base with only snoke stopping her.

Kylo arrives on Luke's island like pottery.

I love Star Wars but I think The Last Jedi is going to underperform. All my normie friends had no idea it was coming out or just plain don't care.

Luke has to eat Finn’s creampie out of Rey’s pussy

Same shit with people I know, it's going to make money for sure but the lack of social buzz is surreal compared to TFA and even R1.

disney is spending literally all of their money keeping people quiet about sexual assaults. the best advertising they can do is not have any bad publicity about what goes on during the making of a modern star wars franchise

This is an actual possibility.

I want to add more to this. Finn rejoins the First Order which annoys Phasma but he passes his medical exam, We see day to day life in the First Order which feels like a prison. It's no longer a Nazi ripoff but like a North Korean dictator and the all have to pledge alligiance Supreme leader Snoke and he has his own anthem with lyrics.

Anakin's force ghost contacts Rey and tells her how to get through to Ben Solo about what he really wanted Luke to do and appears to both of them after she confronts him at the crystal mines; Anakin explains that if the First Order really wanted to bring order to the galaxy it would just make sure everyone sensitive to the force had a loving nuclear family and to purge the galaxy of the inhumanoid species whose tendencies to savagery and brutality make them incompatible with this good life and cultivate the dark side of the force; the sand people and Hutts most of all in his experience.

Then they do that and get married and have babies the end.

>Luke is dead, died of an illness
>Rey and Kylo have a force bond caused by their battle in tfa
>Kylo starts feeling remorse
>Snoke is a failed Sidious clone. he wants to find Luke so he can possess his body, but he didn't know Luke had already passed away
>Kylo was seduced by Snoke to the Dark Side. formed the Knights of Ren and led a revolt against Luke and the other Masters. Snoke intended for Kylo to weaken Luke enough so he can take over his body, but Kylo failed.
>Knights of Ren are in the movie
>first order are on the run
>KoR use stealth and start killing the leadership of the Republic army
>Kylo defends his mom from his fellow Knight
>Snoke finds out where Luke is after peering into Kylo's mind
>Rey and Snoke fight
>Rey loses
>Snoke is about to possess her before a helpless Luke
>Kylo arrives and fights Snoke
>Kylo also looses
>Luke uses the Force to guide both of his pupils so they may fight together and vanquish Snoke
>Snoke is defeated, but gets away after he was saved by a KoR
>Rey through their bond, saw Kylo's remorse is genuine
>Kylo drops to his knees to ask for Luke's forgiveness which Luke gives
>Luke then leaves, feeling at peace. he believes that Rey and Kylo have the means to defeat Snoke.
>out of nowhere
>Finn shoots Kylo in the chest, killing him
>the force bond wounds Rey greatly sending her into catatonic shock
>the end

bretty gud

>Snoke is Darth Plagueis, he was stabbed by Palpatine while sleeping and perished, but unbeknownst to Sheev his dark spirit lingered on and was capable of repossessing his own deceased body (his gaunt appearance and facial wound are due to his body being incapable of repairing itself organically)
>he's basically a force vampire, he drinks blood and absorbs the force to stay alive
>he seeks a new body but can only merge with someone outrageously strong with the force, he couldn't make any moves while Sheev was around though
>his first choice was anakin until his body got royally fucked up, then Luke but he went full light mode
>20 yrs later
>Luke's jedi order is doing well and he has two very promising young students, his teenage nephew Benny and a little orphan girl who is the only child in the temple
>Snoke only cares about ben though because he's emotionally vulnerable
>corrupts Ben under the guise of Anakin's spirit
>Ben recruits some other force sensitives from the temple to join him and they form the Knights of Ren, none of them have lightsabers but Kylo constructs his own with the flimsy knowledge he has
>the Knights purge the jedi temple at Snoke's will, but Kylo is incapable of slaying the little orphan girl and instead wipes her mind
>little orphan stumbles upon Luke who is with Han and R2 examining the wreckage, Han takes the little girl to Jakku
>FFW to present, Rey taps into the force and recalls these events, finally understand the struggle inside Kylo
>believing she can turn him, she leaves Luke (at his detest) and joins Kylo to meet with Snoke
>revelation that Snoke was pulling Kylo's strings, Kylo turns on him
>Snoke sees far greater potency in Rey and has his knights deal with Kylo
>Snokey rapes Rey's spirit and enters her body to claim it for himself
>Kylo survives, escapes, and returns to Luke
>ep 9: good guy Ben Solo versus force-possessed Darth Mary Sue
>episode 8 side story: Finn and chubby Asian go gambling

>they have to blow another death star
>leia betrays luke after being brainwashed by an evil wizard
>boba fett goes to the sun
>R2D2 fights a lava snake
>there's two Chewbaccas

Spbp

>Luke's hand slips like a retard and he accidentally decapitates Rey in a practice duel
this would be the most kino thing ever

It's literally a childrens series, why do people get so mad about it

both your parents are fucking black