Deathstroke is now your father, how fucked is your life?

Deathstroke is now your father, how fucked is your life?

Source? Why is Broosh a mentally retarded Kryptonian?

Can't have a girlfriend because he would fuck her.

Can't have a teenager friend because he would fuck her.

Can't have a brown friend because he would fuck her.

Superman American Alien #3 and the reason he's acting so retarded is Max Landis.

Deathstroke poisoned him but since he's kryptonian all that happened was he got druggy. Also he's drunk

Do I get a superpower like his other children?

>When his plane crash-lands in the middle of the ocean, 21-year-old Clark Kent finds himself at a raging party on a massive yacht and is mistaken for the guest of honor: billionaire playboy Bruce Wayne!

That...is retarded. So it's written to be canon that Bruce and Clark look extremely similar to one another, that kind of reminds me albeit to a lesser extent of the time Sandman and Green Goblin were written to be cousins because they have similar hair

>So it's written to be canon that Bruce and Clark look extremely similar to one another

It used to be a thing in the comics. A lot of it involved them switching identities to fool people.

But American Alien isn't canonical to anything.

They also did it a few times in the DCAU iirc

They do it ONCE, and in that episode multiple people comment on how much bigger Batman looks. Superman, dressed as Batman, is visibly larger and more muscular.

he died right? The impact of superman's finger would have probably crushed all his bones and organs.

How did he poison him? Was it in his drink?

>go from massive irredeemable asshole alcoholic dad to massive irredeemable asshole cool assassin dad
>also possibly get powers
>possibly get to fuck with/do lewd shit to Dick Grayson if I ally myself with him

sounds like a decent switch to me

>tfw your actual family was so dysfunctional you fantasize being a child soldier trained by you assassin father

Think so haven't read this for awhile.

>tfw if you'd been one of Deathstroke's child soldiers you would've actually gotten to have a hobby on weekends instead of being too poor for them
>tfw you would've actually had the opportunity to hang out with other kids outside of school
>tfw you would've actually gotten some approval and praise for doing well at something for once, even if that was destroying things and hurting people

And Joe Kelly did it in his Batman/Superman Annual.

And both issues were based on the original first meeting of Clark and Bruce being set on a boat.

>tfw you wish you had a dad teach how to kill a man with your bare hands because it would at least mean he was around and cared enough about you to pass down knowledge

One of his kids's dead, one got his vocal chords ruined by him and has spilt personality disorder, and the third one's a mess
Dude's somehow worse at this than Batman

Yeah but Batman might make you wear a cape with your costume. So you know, it evens out.

Well I mean if we're going to get technical about this then Batman's worse because two of his kids died and a third could be dead and he doesn't even give enough shits to look for them.

Not to mention that Damian has evidently ended up stunting his own growth and will probably end up being under 5'3 for the rest of his life due to lack of sleep and overexercising in childhood.

>hang out with other kids
>get friends
>get gf
>Deathstroke fucks her

Would it really be worth it?

>tfw you wish you had a dad you could watch murder people just because that means you would've spent some time together and he would've cared enough about you to show you the things he enjoys doing and that he loves you enough to share them with you and hopefully have you join in too

Eh, my dad used to get drunk, walk up to the mall right next to my high school that every kid would walk to to go hang out and get McDonalds after school and he would be sloshed and verbally abusing people out the front of Coles. Including the girl I liked in 10th grae=de who worked at Coles. He also spent my inheritance I got from my grandmother, who he inadvertently killed from stress via being an alcoholic NEET living off her well into his mid 40s. I could go on, but in summation, I've had worse. It would definitely be worth it.

At least I can't imagine Deathstroke sitting all day on his ass, whining to his friends on the phone about how much of a saint he is he has it and how horrible and mean his family is to him while conveniently forgetting to mention that his family doesn't like him because he's an emotionally (and at times physically) abusive cunt. Or starting ear-piercing (since his only arguments in any conversation is to insult and yell as loudly as possible) scandals for absolutely any petty reasons such as someone forgetting to turn the lights off once, even though he doesn't pay the bills. Fuck, he threw a childish tantrum when we've had enough and told him to pay with his money for his hours-lasting phone conversations (no one else uses that phone anyway, lel). Or expecting respect us to pretty much treat him like a god when he won't even get a job, lives off the welfare and talks shit about everyone, unless he wants something from them. Then it's false "nice" tone.


Fuck you, OP. You just made me want another thing I will never have.

that sucks m8

Does your dad have NPD? My mother is just like that and I believe that she does, he sounds like he might. Have a look into it, user

I think you mean "How fucked is my wife?"

[Father-Son Cuckening Intensifies]

God I wanna see this episode of Jerry Springer.
>I didn't plan for this to happen, son
>That's bullshit! You plan for everything to happen!

He was never officially diagnosed with anything as far as I'm concerned, but he seems to tick off a disturbing amount of boxes, yes.

Do I inherit his job aura and plot armor?

I'm a girl would he also cuck me?

That said I would try to be a hero, use my powers for good, join the JLA and try to stay away from him as much as possible and only see him on holidays or whatever because he's still my father.

I would also try to go off world (especially if I get to be a GL) so it's harder for him to get to me and screw up my life.

On the bright side even if he's fucked up he would be the kind of father who cares about you (even if he thinks you're a dumbass which according to Priest he thinks everyone but Wintergreen is a dumbass) and would love you enough to kill, so if I ever get a villain that tries to fuck with me on Zoom and Manta levels he would fucking fuck their shit up.

It was a ship full of people who either never met Bruce Wayne or only saw him a few times when they were younger.

Deathstroke is only gay for Wintergreen, so really depends on your own inclinations there.

Why would the answer to this question differ from person to person? Usually when you do these threads you add in a variable.