...he graduated top of his class at Oxford

>...he graduated top of his class at Oxford...

>....and Harvard

>Who IS that guy?

>...and bottom of his class at driving school

>so tell me, how did you end up in a place like this?

I've read your file

>Graduated high school at 11, top in your class at Harvard, holds doctorates or honorary doctorates from every ivy league university, semester abroad at Cambridge, head of your class at the Sonic Fighting Academy, nine tours of duty in Vietnam, six in Iraq, deployed in Nicaragua, Green Beret, Marine, Navy SEAL, stormed the beach at Normandy, practically invented counter-terrorism ops, Silver Star, Purple Heart, Congressional Medal of Freedom, winner of three AVN awards, Olympic alternate in archery, water polo, Badminton, BMX and Freestyle skiing, TIME man of the year in 1982, 1990 and 2002, finalist on Iron Chef season 3.

>So tell me, how did you end up in a place like this...?

Ah yes, there's the post I was hoping for.

>they say you're the top student at Hacker University. I heard stories you were the one who breached Microsoft's firewall within two minutes of getting the encryption
>*smug smile* would've been one minute if I only had the right url
>somebody get this glorious son of a bitch a laptop

>Huh. What do you want?

> HIS REHSULTZ ARE OFF DAH CHAHRTZ

cringe

>He did one semester at a university. After that? He's a ghost. No social media, no records, no nothing. He doesn't even have a netflix account.
>Was he recruited by CIA, FBI, NSA, or homeland?
>No, worse than that. We suspect he's a neet living with his mother.
>Jesus fucking Christ.

> ..and his other Harvard

>But that doesn't make any sense?! He's not in any of the photos of his old classmates catching up again!

>Sir he did not leave the house in like a month, sir.
>In a fricken month? Call the enginners there must be some kind of underground drug tunnel going on here i can smell it.

>he's ex-Special Forces

>take out the trash
>Nosy neighbor says she hasn't seen me in weeks and wonders if I've been on vacation

cunt...

Real talk. I'm failing college pretty hard.

Hahahahahahaha
What a brainlet

>tfw almost failed college various times but managed to pass enough courses to continue
>doing well now but 25 y.o. in a class of mostly 21s

Have tried dropping the weed and going to class?

fuckin dumb faggot go back to we are all here ironicly pretending to be pedophiles and retards when in reality we are very smart but lazy

>took me 9 years to finish a 4 year degree, almost 100k in debt
You don't know suffering

>not fucking your neighbor

theres ur problem

How? What do you study?

I'm not
I don't care
You're not
I don't do weed
I don't care about you
Engineering