ITT: You are in charge of making a Barney cartoon that isn't aimed exclusively to toddlers and wants to make it to a...

ITT: You are in charge of making a Barney cartoon that isn't aimed exclusively to toddlers and wants to make it to a broader audience, how would you do it?

Give them all noodly limbs then animate it in flash

Give them feathers

Add ponies

Just get to the pony memes and fuck off.

Pop cult memes out the wazoo

Never understood why the fuck the triceratops girl had ears

Put Hitler in as a character, have the dinosaurs explicitly practice Satanism, onscreen fucking, onscreen shitting, more swearing.

Add ironic self-aware references to its reputation as a baby show or some shit like that.

You have to make it satirical. In fact, any conventional attempt at broadening the audience will undoubtedly fail as long as people like Lee are around who think Barney is some universal constant of pure babbyness.

What you do is you keep the physical format the same. all the costumes and sets should be pretty much the same, and it should also feature simple stories that kids can amuse themselves with. But you have to insert a shitton of vague cameos, references, quotes, etc. to high-level political and literary figures to make anyone willing to jump the social gap feel like they are enlightened for doing so

kids ask Barney why they should share their cookies and he chuckles loudly and quotes Mao Zedong.
Barney holds a special 'enhanced learning' segment that seems to be the same as the regular episodes but on closer inspection the kids appear to be drugged, and one of the smaller dinosaurs is holding a police baton behind their back
They introduce a special guest to explain how adult jobs work, but he's pulled away with a shepherd's cane after its discovered that he's a Bolshevik party member and Barney explains to the kids how the Soviet Union was a Baltic conspiracy against the true noble lineage of Rus
but all the weird parts are either over really quickly, hidden in the background while something else is going on or done in a way that little kids wouldn't notice

2d, no humans, writing that doesn't baby talk to its audience and a setting that is consistent and logical in itself.
In essence, just a normal cartoon.

Make it aimed at toddlers and furries.

Every day kids were getting their daily dose from this

Turn them into realistic dinos. Boom, audience found. Everyone loves dinosaurs.

porn, furry porn, jurassic furry PORN

Is this because I brought up the MLP movie in another thread?

I hate dinosaurs.

>realistic dinos
You'd make a lot of people butthurt about how it's "just a big turkey" though.

make it like the muppet show.

done.

How can I find myself a woman with thighs like that

Totally progressive pedophile tolerance show where Barney and BJ lure children to their house with magic tricks and Baby Bop, to the viewer's confusion, is involved in the cp ring. The MC is a child that eventually is liberated from their oppressive parents and becomes a darknet superstar who gets paid in wine coolers.

hire barneyfag to fix barney.

I want to fuck that birb...

Looks better than those dinos from Jurassic World that are always 100% grey. It would be nice to see more colorful dinos

This is not helping my until-recently-unknown-even-to-myself fetish for raptor girls.

>aim the target demographic all over the fucking place so it doesn't quite fit anywhere, giving it an offbeat/guilty pleasure vibe (keep it a show about learning kindergarten-tier lessons, but also force a gratuitous amount of real world references into the mix to make it seem vaguely more lucid than the premise advertises)
>overuse cheap satire to subvert the franchise's babyish reputation, but still keep Barney's personality in-tact, often at contrast with a drastically altered enviornment
>also, the dinos are now sentiment kaijus roughly to scale of their real-life dinosaur counterparts, but are still played by people in anthropomorphized cartoon fursuits. this is never challenged by anyone, people will just accept this in-canon with no explanation
>stuff a whole fucking bunch of unnecessary lore up the show's ass (plus additional dino characters, possible some antagonists, etc.), but overall it's still a slice of life with bland, unchallenging morals

I'm inclined to agree that you can't do this shit unironically.

Barney never had the intelligence found in better children's entertainment (Sesame Street) nor the safe, educational authority (Mr. Rogers) and was basically just "something the kids can watch without learning the word 'fuck'". As the phenomenon's target demographic at the height of its popularity, I remember vividly that most of the kids never actually LIKED it, they just consumed the media their parents were giving them.

Add that to one of the biggest hatedoms in pop culture history and you have a license that embarrasses anyone old enough walk.

You should not have these kinds of thoughts, Boco.

The organization does not approve.

Seek psychological help before it is too late.

Make Barney a pedophile drunk that can't take it anymore (similar to Bojack Horseman).

So the old movie Death to Smoochy?

What about mind-controlling, dominating Dino-snek?

Well, I've had a thing for her ever since 1994.

my cousin was obsessed with it. every time I did the barney voice she'd get incredibly pissed off.

pretty funny.

Incidentally, her avatar is one of the few (like, you can count on one hand) good things to come from Primal Rage 2.

raptors best dinosaur.

Just a reminder that Barneyfag once stated he had seen the Barney the Dinosaur movie.

Hire /our guy/ Lee Goldson to direct it.

Make it Cyberchase but with time-traveling dinosaurs, and Hacker is replaced with a big-tittied triceratops

Grimdark reboot. The yellow fag gets killed. Barney has PTSD and developed alcoholism for not being able to save him. Killing criminals and teaching life lessons.

I'd love to see IDW do a Godzilla-esque Primal Rage revival.

I'd slaughter a goat for a new game.

Have you tried?

No. Too lazy to put down newspapers.

You could try sacrificing something else.

Damn dude, got communism on your mind much? You got an exam on history coming up or something?

...

this movie gets a bad rap.

In an alternate futuristic society, Dinosaurs have been brought back from extinction as as Dinosaur people. Barney is a kindergarten teacher who has just been hired. But not everything is great. Some people are racist against the Dinosaurs and don't want Barney teaching their children. In addition Barney has very short arms and thus has trouble with certain tasks. So some of the factuly feel he is a worthless diversity hire. Barney must now show them they are wrong by helping his students achieve their potential and learn important lessons.

Hot female dinosaur the same age as Barney.

>Barney never had the intelligence found in better children's entertainment (Sesame Street)
Funny, it was intentionally designed as an anti-thesis to Sesame Street. While Sesame Street was aimed at parents watching with kids; Barney was aimed at children specifically.

Thanks doc

I've yet to see a case where adults pandering to children directly is actually a good idea. Adults are shaped by their childhood exposures, and media designed to serve only their intelligence and tastes at that level can't possibly be constructive. There's nothing wrong with jangling your keys to entertain a small child, but they aren't going to learn anything or develop any long-lasting memories from it and you shouldn't pretend that they will. Barney was no more "educational" than Looney Toons, but those were never billed to be.

At least stuff like Teletubbies is intended for actual infants and has the side-effect of being excellent stoner fuel.

Make it a Sin City stylized noir series about Funland where Barney learns that life isn't all rainbows and peanut butter sandwiches as BJ gets gunned down by the Teletubbies for being too behind on his payments, and Beebop whoring herself out to support her three children under the iron fist of an extremely abusive pimp named Lambchop.

The series ends with Barney standing on top of a skyscraper, and looking down on the city. It's raining. "I don't love you." He would whisper, before pulling the trigger with his one giant finger, the screen would follow his fall towards the cement, cut to black right before impact.

I've heard some Barney fans say that the show's lack of parental appeal actually helps kids understand the content in the show better. Sesame Street seems to be going down that same path, apparently, from research that shows that parents aren't spending as much time watching TV with their kids.

Exactly the same as the original show except Barney is voiced by Gilbert Gottfried

That...actually doesn't sound half-bad.

Only from elitist critics like Ebert. To me, it's pretty good.

I thought you were fucking dead

his deviantart page has entire essays of barney episode revies

keep it exactly the same but add lore
Sup Forums will watch anything with lore
there will be people unironically complaining about "filler" episodes of fucking barney the dinosaur

dark comedies tend to get unfairly derided. same happened to the cable guy.

Where is he?

He doesn't do anything when you post actual Barney

That's so good ! It should like a good heart warming drama film and tv show

Theodore Rex?

Give him feathers and I'm sold.

shut up Boco.

I want to watch this.

you sir are hired

Spoonfeed me Sup Forums, who is Barneyfag and why does he hate Barney so much?

Autistic pedophile who thinks My Little Pony traumatized him and so he insists on calling it Barney in an attempt to insult the fans
That's all you really need to know

>pedophile
Since when? Was it found out when he got doxxed?

...

Damn, I'd unironically watch this.

That actually sounds like a very sweet, grounded, story idea with a good natured, earnest, message.

I like it.
I'd watch it.

It was found out when his picture was shown
There is no way that guy isn't a pedophile

He looks like a brony desu, I haven't seen him in weeks though has he finally killed himself or what?

Splatoon is actually good, though.

>lol he has a moustache so he's a pedo
So you're calling anyone with a moustache a pedo? I can't imagine how many you see every day then.

Anyone with a pedo stache is a pedo

Also, retarded ass Moe Howard/Pete Rose haircut
He's also clearly a Jew and autistic

IIRC back on the farms he actually came into his thread and explained that he was forced to watch barney (as he is legitimately autistic) in his school programs. He dosent like barney and hates children's media because of it. He found mlp to be in the same hate feild as the purple dinosaur and started to self moderate to keep horse fags out.

He's also Canadian, let's not forget all the reasons to hate that screeching autist. He hits all the marks.

Put heavier focus on his wife Betty.

And have his son Bamm-Bamm wack/beat up anyone trying to hit on his wife.

Yea.

No it isn't

Yes, it is, Splatoon 2's test fire was also great.

No Nintendo game is great, grow up

Yes, it is, has this taught you anything?

Only degenerates hate him

To wider audience user!

With the personality of Beast from the X-Men.

Go to /sug/ sometime.

Expanding on this, they also need bean shaped heads and smiles.

Reminder that this is a Lee thread that he made himself, in the recent threads he tried to get shut down he didn't even spam his usual spam and has been hiding lately

Yet, he still craves attention, reminder that he is just an attentionfag trying his hardest to become Horsefamous, fuck this autistic faggot

Stop trying to force this narrative. I bet you're one of those faggots that believes he also made the anti-Sup Forums and anti-weeb threads on /qa/ (RIP). His hate crusade doesn't stretch that far.

Heh, nice one