Caleb... what toy is that?

Caleb... what toy is that?

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=fnk52bU92oE
youtube.com/watch?v=RI0sA6nyQKI
reddit.com/r/exjw/
ecclesia.org/truth/covet.html
ecclesia.org/truth/women_sin.html
twitter.com/NSFWRedditGif

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Sex toy

It's kind of scary just how perfect they got his "there goes another thing I can't enjoy" face.

>tfw there are parents this retarded IRL
>tfw these crazy controlling fucks are the reason TV and movies are mostly neutered to hell
I hope their children remember how this shit made them feel and grow up to be good parents.

Kaleb probably doesn't have any friends anymore because of his bitch of a mom.

I am heavy weapons boy and this is my weapon.

THIS PROMOTES WAR JEHOVAH IS SAD

who needs friends when you have jebus

youtube.com/watch?v=fnk52bU92oE
Batshit religious cartoon thread?

I think you mean.
>>Oh excellent Caleb! Now you can kill Islam!

Link to this? I remember watching this years ago and I forgot the name of the video.

here you go
youtube.com/watch?v=RI0sA6nyQKI

Caleb's mom made the right call.
The last thing tue world needs is more college age beta males whining baout how this just like when Voldemort took over Hogwarts.

You must convince your friend to kill her "parents", sweetie.

bitch i know about Steely Dan you keep in your bottom drawer, and i aint talking about the best band of the 70's and 80's. You dont listen to good music anyway skank.
So what say you let me play with my wizard shit.

>How to get your kid suspended from public school for harassment

Great advice

>Mfw I was raied JW and my dad burnt all my Hardees smurf plushies because crazy obese cunts at the Kingdom Hall heard from someone that someone heard from someone that 'Smurf' was German for demon and someone's cousin's best friend's door-knocking buddy heard that one blinked it's eyes one time and Satan Satan Satan...

What a shitshow

What happens when you leave? Are you excommunicated?

That animation pretty good, loli's cute.

>tfw mom forced me to stop watching pokemon because she heard from someone who heard from someone that pokemon were demons and they could see the evil spirits around whenever someone watched or played pokemon

This is meant to be the same family, right? Same VA and character names and everything?
So why is she several tones darker?

>crazy obese cunts
I always wonder why the sin of gluttony never gets taken seriously.

Only if you've been baptized, then yeah you're shunned hard by your entire family. They encourage kids to get baptized YOUNG too, like as young as nine. Then when you turn 20 and you realize it's all horseshit too bad you're stuck. Honestly the only thing keeping the JW cult together is that half of the members are being held hostage by the other half. It's pretty fucking sad.

If you never get baptized they'll still hang out with you, unless they're super duper fundie JW's then they might shun you anyway. Fucking INGSOC man. I was lucky though, my dad's the only one in the entire family whose a JW and I never got baptized. I still try to get him to wake the fuck up but cult victims mans... they drink that kool-aid fucking hard.

I was a JW when this came out and even among people in the religion sparlock was a bit of a joke for awhile. There's a scary amount of people who only stay because they're pretty much being held in at gunpoint.

Your dad's a JW but your mom isn't? I would have thought JWs would be against marrying outside of the religion because it's a huge source of conflict

He started studying and converted after they got married. The strain his ridiculous fucking cult antics have put on our family over the decades cannot be overstated.

I know that feel my man. Being raised in that cult is a pretty big reason I'm the stunted outcast I am today

One of my old friend's parents are the same thing; Mom isn't JW, father is. She seemed rather depressed and withdrawn at all times, and I remember one time when she came over to drop off my friend, she saw that we still had our Christmas tree up from last week, and she sounded SO fucking sad and nostalgic when she said "Oh, a Christmas tree".

reddit.com/r/exjw/

>unironically linking reddit
where do you think you are

>How to make your kid "the weird one"

It's Megatron

>*Touches gun*

I like toys

>all it takes is one slip in the shower

IS THERE PORN OF THE MOM?

I know that feel, bro

>They can spend hundreds [thousands? fuck if I know] on exotic fantasy dildos
>They can't take like 10 minutes to clean their damn shower
Shit's nasty, yo

>"then Jesus said the same thing!"
>quotes every other line about the bible hating gays but can't quote what Jesus said and where he said it

This is pretty based actually. Plebbitors please GTFO, Sup Forums is a Christian website.

Of course there is.

can we make lesbian loli of this short?

BLEACHED

>Sup Forums is a Christian website
Shit, we better tell that to all those porn boards. They're not being very Christian.

She just said that Jesus said the same thing that the Old Testament said about how a man will cleave to his wife, not that he said some specific anti-gay thing. Also Jesus affirmed the law of Moses and said he came not to do away with the law but not one jot or tittle would pass from the law until heaven and earth passed away.

The mom would just go off on a tangent on how education's bad in Jehova's eyes.

I feel this poor kid so perfectly.

Yes user, that's why christians can't use mixed fabrics and eat pork
WAITAMINUTE

The NSFW boards are just containment boards for fedoras, they're Sup Forums's own version of hell.

Mom made me get rid of mine still got the rocket launcher though

You're using a half quote, user
>not to do away with the law but to fulfill it
>but to fulfill it
The fulfillment in this case was jesus dying on the cross. It was the "absolute sacrifice" in a sense. All of the laws in the OT about having to sacrifice something after sinning are still in place, but the sacrifice has already been made so you don't have to kill cows anymore
Other laws like the two fabrics one were given to a specific group of people at a specific time, and are not all-applying "if you do this it's a sin" things

Well the law was fulfilled (not the same as being done away with) with Christ's death and resurrection. But everything that was immoral in the OT remained immoral in the NT. The food laws and other purely ceremonial laws were specifically named as no longer needing to be practiced. The prohibition against homosexuality was reaffirmed by Saint Paul, an apostle of Jesus Christ.

This fucking mom makes every facial expression like she's a villain.
Wondering if it's on purpose

Don't excuse yourself, cakeboy

>Cigarette
Doesn't that man know know to treat his body as a temple?!?!?!

The most annoying thing about this is how they always say "Jehovah"

This thread is hilarious it's even more funny to me because biggest perverts I know are the sons of preachers

It has to be her being molested by lesbians

>tfw I'm inside a Kingdom Hall right now
It feels weird looking at this thread from here lol.

"Dad why can't we practice a religion that's less of a joke, like Mormonism"
"Dad why didn't you get a real degree and stop telling people engineering makes you a scientist"
"Dad how many doors have you had slammed in your face"
"Dad why are you so fucking fat"

This I'm currently stuck in this situation but I'm not baptized. Family doesn't care though, them and their friends shunned my brother when he got a non Jehovah witnesses girlfriend

>was reaffirmed by Saint Paul, a douchebag who made up a lot of rules no one can quite trace back to Jesus' teachings

Half true. It's highly encouraged to not go to college/university since it takes up a lot of your time and you might fall into temptation by going to college parties or having to learn about evolution.

that's not what that verse means user

Anybody has that Chick tract D&D one?
Or the Darkseid edits?

>lend toy to Caleb
>His bitch mom just throws it away
FUCK Caleb.

Why do you want to play with your dick, user
You know Jehovah hates it

I had it from the last time we had this thread, but lost it with my dead hard drive.

would you watch a Sparlock show, Sup Forums?

Hell yeah, Sparlock looks like a badass.

From her picture it's obvious her parents are different races (though she honestly seems too young to reflect the distinction in her art).

Next we need an educational cartoon for parents called "how to homeschool your children to preserve their faith in Jehovah".

Do any of these JW videos cover topics like sex and porn, or do JW just not talk about it in any capacity and shun anything that brings it up?

>oh no I might be penetrated by one of the dozens of expensive dildos I bought and installed in my shower I definitely never intended this to happen

What is there to explain? Sex is just for procreation and has to be done with the lights out, and porn is one of Satan's hobbies

they're meant for decoration, you fucking pervert

Well not a JW but the bible considers sex outside of marriage is awful. The same for adultery. While sex between a married man and woman isn't shameful at all. Porn is awful and the same as having sex outside of marriage because you are lusting after the flesh with your eyes.

>Sup Forums is a Christian website.

nice bait mane

You know the whole "can't show that on a christian imageboard" thing is a joke, right?

It's a prison shuttle from the movie Man of Steel, mom.

But what about masturbation without the use of porn?
At what point does sexual attraction outside of marriage become a sin? Is it when you get an erection (which is completely involuntary) or when you act on the erection and masturbate to the thought of whatever got you aroused in the first place?

>sword that can cast spells
>practical shield

Sparlock needs 6 seasons.

Bad.
Any point that you look at another women besides your wife as a object of lust and desire.

I don't get why they compare going to paradise with fucking airport security and did the mom basically convince her daughter to tell her classmates that her parents are going to hell unless they follow jehova?

Are you meant to be sexually attracted to your wife?
If so, how are you meant to know you're sexually attracted to a woman if looking at someone who isn't your wife sexually is bad?

Yes.
There's a different between love and lust. Can you tell the difference?

At what point does sexual attraction become lust?

Yes, he does. You burn incense in temples.

ecclesia.org/truth/covet.html
ecclesia.org/truth/women_sin.html

So what if you're lusting after a fictional character and not a real person?

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I heard that they went with a good animator but with a lower then desired budget

That's why she just threw away the wizard toy in the first one and why the animation got so much shittier in that moment. They ran out of money and having the toy go in a bucket is easier

Jesus' own brother (or cousin, by Catholic interpretation) James accepted Paul, Peter who Jesus called the rock upon which his church was built, admitted he was in the wrong and Paul was in the right in his arguments with Paul. The disciples accepted Paul as an apostle. What rules did Paul make up? What he says about gays for example is just reiterating what the Old Testament said, which a Jew like Jesus would have accepted.

>it's another fedora-toting "religion is all bad" thread

Excuse me, I do believe you've missed .

>Taking Satan to their house of worship

YOU FOOL, YOU'VE DOOMED US ALL!

Sup Forums is a christian board that makes fun of atheists

>Kingdom Hall right now

A what now? Is there a ton of Jehovahs on Sup Forums or something?

My guess is it's their word for a church

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