You are just about to walk to the cashier of your local comic book store to buy the latest Marvel release when these...

You are just about to walk to the cashier of your local comic book store to buy the latest Marvel release when these guys step in your way. What do you do Sup Forums?

Ask Morrison why he's there with DC guys

Walk around them and buy my Marvel comics.

He's still working on some DC OGNs.

I only buy hardcopies of DC and some indie anyway
They are worth the buy


I will not touch a marvel comic until the remove the sjw femishit infection it currently has

"Martha"

I bet.

I'm sure my grandchildren will really enjoy them when they get released

>Implying you can walk around those mountains of muslce

Present my ass

>What do you do Sup Forums?

I point to Morrison and say "I like your work"

God, are these fags gonna make me suck their cocks again or something?

>See them.
>Ask if they could sign the DC Rebirth titles I am buying.
>Notice I am holding Marvel Champions in my hand.
>Toss it at angry neckbeard leaning out of bathroom saying there is no TP.
>We all laugh as he shouts "Make mine Marvel!" as he ducks back into the toilet.

Now that The Vision and Spiderman & Deadpool are done, why would I buy Marvel comics? Actually I might be forgetting a decent comic that is in current print, I do like Captain America(Captain America, not Falcap) and how they are letting him take the credit for all the masterplan moves that are really just Bendis' lack of story arc.

Seriously though, the Kents and Waynes are the main reason I am interested in DC at the moment. I really want more Jon and Damian sidekick stuff.

Hey it only took like 7 years for Multiversity to come out. You never know, we might get one by 2020.

>Seaguy 3 never ever

Greet Morrison and ask to sign me a copy of his X-Men.

If it weren't for Entertainment Weekly logo, I would not have any reason to think of them as anyone other than a group of friends buying comics themselves.
So have a friendly conversation about comics with them?

>Tom King just grabs your comics and throw them into the garbage. "Here user, read something that will put chest hair into that lanky body of yours" he hands you a copy of Batman. Didio starts massaging your skinny little shoulder: "Yeah, chest hair. But before that... user, I do love them little fragile legs and that bubbly butt of yours". Johns gets close and grabs your left ass cheeck: "Mmm, love them Marvel femboys, such nice boipussy".

What do you do?

Well first I'll ask myself what the fuck happened during the blackout that would make me want to buy a fucking Marvel comic.

Then I challenge them all and hope for a good death.

ask Morrison when Seaguy Eternal is coming out

*unzips dick*

I haven't been inside my local comic book store since they instituted the no singles policy. One of the guys who works there sells me the comics outside from the back of the van now.

Jump with joy because I'm a DCfag.

Rank em

1. Morrison

2. Junior Junior - 80's
3. Johns - 2000's

4. Didio
5. Johns - Modern
6. Lee
7. Junior Junior - Modern

>go to Jim Lee and shout EXCELSIOR
>say to Morrison that Im his biggest fan and ask him to sign my copy of V for Vendetta and Watchmen
>go to Didio and whisper in his ear "hehehe... bueno"

JRJR has actually been doing pretty decent work right now between Last Crusade and All-Star

Didio is too low

>Walk into bar
>Hear various screeches and what can only be described as Complex Multiverse Creation
>"Nice Deadpool shirt nerd!" Johns yells, spitting Captain Crunch and Frankenberry onto your shoes
>Try to maintain composure, but Romita sneaks up behind you and yanks your Mighty Thor boxers up as high as they can go, tearing the fabric
>While you try to remove Mjollnir from betwixt your cheeks, Snyder and Lee are Double penetrating your feminist blogger friend
>The entire time Grant is just staring at you, doodling in his notebook
>As you try to leave the bar, he hands you his sketchpad, the contents of which are graphic sketches of you being raped by gay men in 52 different universes
Fucking DChads

>Snyder
>chad

Good Chad is a dead Chad.

He worked as a security guard, user.

>>The entire time Grant is just staring at you, doodling in his notebook
>>As you try to leave the bar, he hands you his sketchpad, the contents of which are graphic sketches of you being raped by gay men in 52 different universes

>As you try to leave the bar, he hands you his sketchpad, the contents of which are graphic sketches of you being raped by gay men in 52 different universes

Jim Lee shoves his dick into my mouth and Romita removes my Spiderman briefs, then he place them over my face while Snyder sucks my feminine penis.

buy DC, those niggas could kick my ass

Ask Grant, Jim and John to sign my X-Men comics.
Talk cereal with Geoff.
Thank Dan for allowing Hex/All Star Western to run as long as they did.
Who's the guy on the end?

Scott Snyder

Scott Snyder, he wrote Batman and is writing All Star Batman

So, no one important.
Got it.

Tell them that it's nice that the retirement home lets residents out on day trips.

>What do you do Sup Forums?

Tell Romita "learn how to draw, you hack", flip the finger at Dan Dildo, nod approvingly at Lee and Morrison, give Johns a look of disappointment and disgust, and ignore Snyder altogether

>telling Romita to learn how to draw
>while nodding approvingly at Lee
wew

>As you try to leave the bar, he hands you his sketchpad, the contents of which are graphic sketches of you being raped by gay men in 52 different universes

>Tell Romita "learn how to draw, you hack"
seriously what is up with that guy? His shit is mostly good, but when it's bad it's fucking BAD and it's becoming the norm for him

I walk around them and pay for my comics, then I pick up an issue of Batman just as a middle finger to Scott Snyder and give Grant the 52 cents I'll have left over from my tips.

Spider-Man and Deadpool ended? Is this an actual ending, or was it ending like Renew Your Vows was ending 2 months ago? I'm gunna be bumbed man, that's my favorite comic on my pull list.

Yes, Zdarsky is getting a new Spider-man comic so they canceled Spidey/ Pool

Hmm, I'll have to actually see "The End" when I pick up my copy this week, seeing as how Kelly is the writer of the comic I don't see why some other writer would effect it.

Tell them to get the fuck outta my way, I got other shit to do.

Ask Morrison to retcon the staff of Marvel Comics

>finally get your dream position writing for DC
>asked to turn up to meet with your editor at 9 AM
>turn up
>your editor isn't there, Jim Lee is
>"We noticed you didn't turn up at 7AM for the daily pre-working workout user, so I've canceled your meeting and scheduled you in for an emergency lifting session with Geoff"
>spend the next three hours trying pitifully to work out as Geoff Johns watches you silently while eating a bowl of cereal
>doesn't say anything but later you hear him asking Jim if you've signed the contract yet
>go home dejected
>5 minutes after you arrive there's a knock at the door
>it's Scott Snyder
>he calls your first day a crisis and puts you an emergency fitness regime, the same one he makes his children go through
>after 3 days with poor progress you're called to an executive meeting
>"This just isn't working out user, a bit like you haha. We tried to contact Grant to see if he could cast some muscle magic on you but he's too busy immersed in dominatrix sessions on peyote in prep for writing the next WWEO book"
>they all flex you goodbye as you pack up your desk
>"Maybe you can still get a job with Marvel"

Ask Morrison how to get back to my Earth where I would never be purchasing the latest Marvel release in the first place.

>>"This just isn't working out user, a bit like you haha.
it's funny cuse it's true