I just watched The Last Jedi

Ask me anything -
Spoiler free answers, answers with spoilers, even explaining how I already watched it if it would help you believe me.
I'm doing this just to be nice

Are the reddit spoilers true?

I haven't read them, please specify

dont fuck around the bush, does luke die?

>even explaining how I already watched it
How?

Don't spoil who, but are there any major deaths? How major are they?

What did you eat for breakfast yesterday?

how would you rate it?

How does Rey get that cut on her arm?

what is Luke's story in the movie, as detailed as you can recall

aren't you guys getting silenced by the mouse until the movie opens?

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He does this "fade away to nothing" Jedi death at the end, not in a light saber fight.

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I live in a country where the largest movie theater company is actually the second largest in Europe, so they always have special premieres for big budget movies, a few days in advance. If you're lucky enough you get invited.

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No idea what cut you're talking about, even if she gets cut at some point I didn't notice, maybe during the battle with Snoke's bodyguards?

Luke force projection.

can you post proof, op?

I heard Nien Nunb appears in this movie. Please tell me if he survives or not, he's been my favorite background character since I was little.
>tfw no alien co pilot with a funny language

He was in Force Awakens bro.
>be a hero co-pilot who destroyed the Death Star and defeated the Empire
>30 years later Leia sends you with the grunts to suicide on Starkiller base

He’s obviously talking about the unsightly gash on her shoulder in the poster you posted

Not spoiling but still gonna use the tags - 2 very major ones

Around a 7-8, I enjoyed it

He doesn't care for Rey and doesn't want to help or teach her. Later he does because of sentiment for Leia. Then we find out he tried to kill Kylo Ren when he was his student because he was afraid of his dark powers, regretted it, but that murder attempt led to Kylo being the madman he is. So he fights with Rey because she starts feeling for Kylo and then she leaves the island. Then he gets a ghostly visit from Yoda and the spirit convinces him to help the rebels. So he fights Kylo in the final fight and we find out he's actually an astral projection of himself. He's actually on the island, then fades away, and die.

We didn't sign anything, I don't care

Seriously no idea, I was pretty focused the entire movie but I have no recollection of that.

Well boys, pack it up. Multiple leakers saying the same shit. This is confirmed trash. Can't wait to see the outrage this week.

That sounds like the dumbest thing ever.

DO they leave it open for luke to return as a force ghost? Does he have any badass moments? fuck people up?

>So he fights Kylo in the final fight and we find out he's actually an astral projection of himself. He's actually on the island, then fades away, and die
This sound retarded even for Star Wars standards

Funny they put it on the poster. Looks like she accidentally bipped herself on the shoulder with her saber when she made that stupid pose.

Reylo?

is anakin in the film?

(You) addiction is a serious problem OP, seek help.

>and die.

Who says it's not just another astral projection, and he's gone somewhere else?

How it is Benicio De ltoro as a villain?

What does Rose actually do? What's her character arc?

Or is she really just a glorified extra for the Chinese market?

Do they resolve the evil SJW plot to put Mary Sue protag in my special space fantasy movies?

Who's to say Luke didn't die a long time ago and has just been "force projecting" himself whenever he is needed physically?

Luke dies and Snoke dies.

how funny is it

I'm not a star wars expert so you tell me - Is fading away leaving nothing but your cape is considered a final ultimate death for a Jedi? Does it leave it open for a force ghost? Also he's seldomly badass, no crazy fights though.

.I will have to say that during the movie Kylo and Rey see astral projection of each other which they don't actually control, this is in fact a great part of the characters' development and story progression. I do believe the astral projection thing was built up nicely enough to not be "retarded".

What about Reylo? All I care about are romantic feels.

do they allude to anything these anons
mentioned and that he was already dead and projecting or the death we see is just another projection?

Then what's the
2nd major death

Pretty major spoilers - I don't think it's romantic, more like she just cares for him, and he wants her to join him. It has some mild romantic potential, but it wont be.

....No....

Doesn't feel like it, more like a death. Who knows

Gonna include a major spoiler - She's a major part of the resistance plan b, but that entire plan is really pointless, only to make the audience feel bad when it fails.

No, they make it even more noticeable, lets of token black/asian/whatever people, lots of ugly or just unattractive women in positions of power.

The audience laughed a lot, also myself I think funny.

Kylo kills Snoke just so we believe for a second he's a good guy, byt then he asks Rey to rule the galaxy with him - he just wanted the power for himself.

So he wants her to become his empress? That is pretty damn romantic.

Can you describe the ending scene for us?

>Kylo kills Snoke just so we believe for a second he's a good guy, byt then he asks Rey to rule the galaxy with him - he just wanted the power for himself

Literally what the fuck. We have done that plotline already in the OT with ESB with Vader.

Holy fuck the unoriginality and pure fanfiction trash is horrible, and what a way to give a massive fuck you to Mark Hamill and fans.

Are you the same guy that's discussing plot on starwarsleaks on reddit? How long will you be able to stick around and answer questions?

>Join me and we can rule the rule the galaxy as husbando and waifu
>Nooooooo!

This fucking movie.

It's not impossible, but i wouldn't say the movie alludes to that idea.

Maybe, but it has more like a brother-sister feel (just a feel, in no way is it alluded they are actually siblings).

I think the entire point of this trilogy is that history repeats itself.

Leia, Finn, Poe, Rey and literally anyone who's not Luke mount the Millennium Falcon escaping some random rebel base from Ren (now supreme leader as Snoke is dead),
they are planning to get to the outer rim/ring to seek help with their rebel cause. Luke kinda dies I guess like I previously mentioned.

OP, please just tell me these two things:

are the Knights of Ren in the film

how is the fight between Rey and the Praetorians? Hoping its good since the constant saber v saber shit is hitting fatigue

>and fans.
fans are the original cancer.
This shit exists because "fans"

This honestly sounds like one of the worst films ever made.

Should I just rip up my ticket?

nothing else from the ending scene? Nothing about a broom and a boy?

>big bad is dead
>is literally just a angsty teen who lost the fight with the main hero the first time they met left
What the fuck

What do you mean he disappears? Like his force projection in the throne room disappears or his actual body back on the island vanishes?

Either way, why? Wouldn't this just mean any form of himself is a projection and he could still be anywhere?

Do they reveal who Snoke is?

>Watch RotJ.
>It ends happily.
>The Empire was defeated, Han and Leia were together, Luke returned to his friends and family, and the last shot is them embracing and smiling.
>New Trilogy comes around.
>Han Solo goes back to being a Scoundrel, loses his only son, and dies in vain trying to save him.
>Luke fails miserably to restore the Jedi, exiles himself and becomes a depressed lonely old man, and then dies at the end.
>Meanwhile Empire 2.0 exists and is ravaging the galaxy.

Well that's one way to take a piss on people's childhood memories of their favorite heroes saving the galaxy against evil.

Yea, and it's not Plagueis you dumb faggot
lmao, prequel fags btfo

>I think the entire point of this trilogy is that history repeats itself.

That's not an excuse for making rehash

...

I heard Kylo Ren has an 8 pack, I heard he was ripped, can you confirm?

you will have to wait for 9 to find out i guess

Spoiler alert!!!
During the Jedi training scenes on achto about 30 minutes in:
Luke: "so I see you've made some new friends Rey"
It shows Rey with a couple porgs and a goofy smile.
Rey: I felt them call to me through the force
Luke: it's true. The porgs are pure beings of the force, that's why I came to this place. The porgs tender meat holds the key to a power only Jedi masters can harness.

He grabs a porg from Rey and bites it's neck, blood sprays into his mouth and he gets a wild look in his eyes.

Luke: yes, the power! I can feel the force growing inside me, and inside my pants the force is growing!

The bulge is massive and throbbing. Rey wastes no time derobing, showing Luke the wetness dripping down her legs and mixing on the floor of the hut with porg blood.

Rey: now show me the power of a Jedi master, as we partake in the ancient ritual of the porg blood orgy!

Luke: hey r2, help me out with this sluts loose poon, will ya?
R2d2: beep boop (a flap opens up and a pulsating dildo emerges from r2.

A familiar voice emerges from the force, it's han "great job kid now let's blow this thing and go home"

Luke: aaaaaaahhhhh the pleasure! I'm blasting your inner wet walls with my jawa juice!

Rey: thank you, my master. The ritual is complete. Now I am the Almighty Mary sue! All white males must commit suicide in my honor!

Luke: as you wish, my vaginal god

Luke ignites his green saber and slices off his dick and balls and then stabs himself in the chest.

As the camera fades to black, the camera pans slowly over to chewie, hairy hard and ready for sloppy seconds

Honestly I can dig it. Kylo Ren basically doing something that Vader never got to do - rule. The Luke projection thing is kinda weird, but whatever.

He's just a rich old senator who has sith bloodlines but they've said multiple times his backstory is irrelevant (???)

I mean I get it, the Emperor didn't really have a backstory in the original trilogy either but they set up Snoke as the big bad from the get go in TFA so it's weird not to flesh him out at least a little.

Doesnt matter though. Looks like he just dies in this movie anyways

>a rich old senator who has sith bloodlines
that's like saying John has nazi bloodlines. It doesn't make any sense.

They will make a prequel trilogy for the sequel trilogy to show snookie's rise and kylo ren's turn to the darkside.

*SLOW CLAP*

god i hope the people who do the porn parodies see this

Fuck, so the leaks are true.

I hope fans actually become outraged and don't just gush about it because of "AT-ST'S AT-ST'S!!!!"

Who the fuck is Snoke?

What were the trailers before it?

I do wonder which mental gymnastics pleb letter media will use to claim this is a good one, this time

Is Rey less of a Mary Sue?

Oh yeah, a young slave boy has some force in him. I think it's more of a symbolic thing. Not actually relevant.

No, but it couldn't be any less relevant now

I don't care to specify anymore, but everything in that scene implies that what I've already said. It's in Luke's look, in the camera angles, in the latter dialogue between Rey and Leia.

No, just some pecs

ENDLESS TRASH

OP signing off, got some shit to do. I hope I answered your questions. Cheers

May the power of the porg blood orgy be with you

If Luke and Snoke die then what the hell is the point of a third movie?

Well its fucking trash then, hamill was the only reason ive stayed invested in this shitshow.
Even less hope for the obi-wan movie/s now even they get Ewen.

Wait so he's actually shirtless at some point? Nice

what excuse do they give for Rey's Mary-Sue powers? are her parents really just random extras?

Dolla dolla bill y'all, people didn't admit episode 1 was terrible until months later and we have even more bullshit misinformation and SW apologists on the internet nowadays.

What happens to the FO General from the first film who is at odds with Kylo and what happens with Captain Phasma or whatever her name was.

>I think the entire point of this trilogy is that history repeats itself.

How convenient.

Anyway, I read your spoilers, if true it sounds like shit to me, but I'll reserve final judgement until I've seen the movie.

It sounds like complete garbage because it will be. Everyone who cherishes this franchise is, like me, probably in THATS NOT TRUE mode right now, but if you all just search your feelings you will know it to be true.

You gotta be fucking shitting me. I’m convinced more than ever they shoulda stick with whatever Lucas put together

>Everyone who cherishes this franchise is, like me, probably in THATS NOT TRUE mode right now

Yep.

I'll bite, tfa felt like I was watching fanfiction, does this get any better?

I HATE STAR WARS

I don't know how to feel at this point.

When I first saw TFA I liked it a lot. Saw it again and realized how tiresome it was and how it just aped off New Hope. Gave it some time, didn't think about it and then came back to TFA and liked it alot again. It really just hinged on which direction they went with this one. This film was going to be the bellwether for what the series was really going to be, not TFA.

Looks like it's not going down a good path. The one thing they COULDN'T DO stick their messy fingers in the force lore. YOU JUST DON'T DO THAT, DISNEY

I feel (((they))) are pushing a script in the new star wars movies where everyone is the same. No good or evil. Hence Rey having an emotional bond with Kylo and feeling for him

It feels like they are trying to send the message that we in real life are all equal and no one is greater than the other. It's pure political hogwash and pushes bullshit leftist propaganda on the masses. If these spoilers are true Star Wars truly is dead.

I knew the second that they announced Ryan was directing that he'd pull this shit. Would rather have had JJ.

It's a weird feeling for sure. It's hard to admit but Star Wars is no longer for the people who grew up on it. The real fans. We all shouldve realized this would happen when mein Fuhrer Disney took over.

Let's all repeat this together so we are all on the same page

STAR WARS IS NO LONGER FOR YOU

STAR WARS IS FOR EVERYBODY

STAR WARS IS FOR LITTLE GIRLS

STAR WARS IS FOR BLUE CHECK MARKS ON TWITTER

ITS ALL A MASSIVE PSY OP BY VIACOM MEDIA CONGLOMERATION TO OVERTHROW CAPITALISM (THE EMPIRE)

>Star Wars is truly dead

I agree, if it's true - all of it - then there is no more good in it.

>Well boys, pack it up. Multiple leakers saying the same shit. This is confirmed trash. Can't wait to see the outrage this week.
Yup. I said a year ago, if Luke doesn't have a real fight and fuck people up, I am done with SW. Disney will never get another cent for me. I will torrent it, watch it to confirm its shittiness, and delete.

>So he fights Kylo in the final fight and we find out he's actually an astral projection of himself. He's actually on the island, then fades away, and die.
what the fuck? why does he die? this cant be real

So in TFA, Rey (an untrained nobody using a light saber for the first time) can fuck up Kylo Ren.

But in TLJ, the force ghost of Luke can't defeat Kylo?


KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEK

I just wanted them to treat the legacy characters with respect. Was that really too much to ask?

So why the FUCK doesn't Luke use his green lightsaber? Why was he still stuck on that island?

Didn't he throw it down the air tunnel at the end of RotJ, after defeating Vader?

Wtf...huh??? That is so nonsensical from a narrative standpoint. Why not just have him there in person...?

>Rey and Kylo's interactions
How does this make any sense? They hate each other.

no he had it at the very end on endor