Which career would you pursue if you were a wizard in Harry Potter? There's about five options out there...

Which career would you pursue if you were a wizard in Harry Potter? There's about five options out there, which one would you go for? Or would you invent a new profession?

I would major in muggle studies and then become a barista serving the finest wizard coffees and teas. When customers aren't busy screaming at me, I could actually tell them a few muggle facts.

designated poster of the "stretched their legs" copypasta

Live in Hogsmeade, get a shop and sell some shit, get off with the students when they visit

Probably youtuber or at least some kind of content creator... My parents are rich in Harry Potter universe,right?

I would enchant muggle qts for sex. That's about it.

I would be the Hogwarts Groundskeeper. Honest work, not too complicated, get to fuck around and eat good food and hang out with kids all the time only problem is the giant spiders in the woods but there is a RAID

Invest in bitknuts and become a NEET

If you're the groundskeeper you can get rid of all the shit Hagrid left in there and just have the whole forest to yourself

I would work for gopro and just travel the world taking photos and vids of cool shit.

>Gets captured
>They send you to Azkaban
>Dementors suck your soul

Fuck, I laughed.

Why the fuck would I work at all when I can make food, shelter, heat, clothes, and whatever else I want? I would probably adopt a magic-related hobby, but I'd never work, fuck that.

I would become the HR director for Hogwarts and demand they let in more and more muggles every year until the place collapses

I'd be the world's most powerful wizard without learning any magic, because I'd carry a gun.

“No”!

I would use potions and whathever to make sure every dc and marvel film gets at least 10 academy awards and then shitpost here

Love potions are legal.

Wizards don't seem to care that much about their history and lore. I'd be adventurer-burglar Indiana Jones/Arsene Lupin style.

Same. That Weasley guy who works as a curse breaker for Gringotts always sounded like he had a cool life. I always imagined him breaking into Pyramids and getting all magical Indiana Jones, dispelling curses and fighting monsters to get hidden gold and gems.

>gets beat up daily by Malfoys crew
>not cool enough to hang with Harrys clique
> just hang out in the bathroom all day smoking pot with moaning myrtle
>drops out in 10th wizard grade
>do magic tricks for drugs
>found dead in a dumpster at age 25

Id pursue another career to get me out of the dullest franchise of all time.

Probably the most true and honest answer.

At least the books are good.

"Arguably!"

"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

...

I get the succ either way. Win-win

Based “No!” Poster

Ooh imagine a Dementor's Kiss on your knob, sucking out every last bit of your soul through your cock. That's one hell of a way to go.

are there female dementors?

Who cares? Their faces and scabbed hands all look the same. If one sucked my soul out of my cock I'd hardly go "wait, does this one have an undead vagina?"

Rape dungeon.

10
FUCKING
YEARS

Highwayman, I'll kill and rob people in secluded areas. There will be no way to track me.

Since what?

Bad? It was excellent. Each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has extremely exciting and unique characteristics when set against the others. One of the many consistencies in the series is its excitement and creative use of special effects, which really helps bring the magic alive and the action ert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series wouldn’t be subjected to the bland directorial style he fell into afterwards with War of the Worlds, Minority Report, and Big Friendly Giant. The profitable cross-promotion for her books was really just an afterthought. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-Fast and the Furious series in its refusal of stupidity, inanity, and lack of logic. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though r-right
"Yes!"
The writing is imaginative and comes off of the page; the book is a masterpiece. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character “stretched his legs” rather than using the duller “went for a walk” expression.

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time I saw a child’s eyes come alive with wonder while reading the books. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so naturally attuned to the Jungian archetypes that govern human thought that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a whiny, pathetic review of Harry Potter by some guy on Sup Forums. He wrote something to the effect of, “Harry Potter is full of poop.” And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read “Harry Potter” you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.