Thats a thumbs down then, I guess.
Thats a thumbs down then, I guess
Ayden Wright
Joseph Collins
Even potatoniggers know what’s up.
Christopher Campbell
>Irish
No one cares. Starwars will be great.
Brayden Martinez
>Irish
>human
Julian Green
Based potato niggers
Josiah Hall
Not enough melanin?
Easton Rodriguez
>this movie is full of large asses
Liam Thompson
>56%er
>thinks he gets to decide what is human after his genes have been BLACKED beyond repair
Owen Gutierrez
>full of fudge.
You might be onto something.
Josiah Howard
LINK!!!! YOU MOTHER FUCKING LEAF
Michael Young
irishtimes.com
Its boring. Just says the movie sucks.
Dylan Brown
>everyone is American
Luis Morgan
It's really too bad the English let you disgusting creatures live. Should have killed the lot of you after WW1 you subhuman ginigger
Isaac Davis
Empire review is "positive"
>It doesn’t all work, but it’s a long time since a huge franchise movie has delivered the thrills and feels in such surprising ways.
>her ‘relationship’ with Ben Solo. Johnson’s conception of their bond is potentially embarrassing
>Time and again, Johnson finds a cinematic grammar that feels new to Star Wars
>a scene in which a character repeatedly clicks their fingers could have come from a ’60s arthouse flick
>Be warned: those revelations will prove divisive.
>there is the most nonchalant lightsaber kill yet
>the Porgs are the butt of the film’s darkest gag
>It doesn’t all work. The middle section loses its shape and is subject to longueurs. Finn and Rose’s mission takes them to Canto Bight, a kind of Monte Carlo peopled by extras from Babylon 5, and feels like it is just ticking the Weird Alien Bar box started by the Cantina. A ride on space horses also feels like a needless diversion, as does Benicio Del Toro’s space rogue, whose strange, laconic presence never really makes its mark.
>Throughout, there are beats from The Empire Strikes Back playbook — a version of the Dark Side cave, walkers and speeders battling across a glacial plain
>Johnson even bravely channels Return Of The Jedi, to the extent that Episode VIII wraps up leaving Episode IX with almost a clean slate.
empireonline.com
Oh boy
Nicholas Long
Wait a second. None of that sounds positive at all!
Robert Carter
>porgs being violently killed
are you sure
David Phillips
>OI THERE'S A BOMB IN ME PORG
Aiden Evans
>everyone is American
Do Amerimutts live in all Europeans heads rent free?
Sebastian White
I bring them up every chance I get because of how upset it makes yanks.
Lincoln Walker
Spoiler alert!!!
During the Jedi training scenes on achto about 30 minutes in: Luke: "so I see you've made some new friends Rey" It shows Rey with a couple porgs and a goofy smile. Rey: I felt them call to me through the force Luke: it's true. The porgs are pure beings of the force, that's why I came to this place. The porgs tender meat holds the key to a power only Jedi masters can harness.
He grabs a porg from Rey and bites it's neck, blood sprays into his mouth and he gets a wild look in his eyes.
Luke: yes, the power! I can feel the force growing inside me, and inside my pants the force is growing!
The bulge is massive and throbbing. Rey wastes no time derobing, showing Luke the wetness dripping down her legs and mixing on the floor of the hut with porg blood.
Rey: now show me the power of a Jedi master, as we partake in the ancient ritual of the porg blood orgy!
Luke: hey r2, help me out with this sluts loose poon, will ya? R2d2: beep boop (a flap opens up and a pulsating dildo emerges from r2.
A familiar voice emerges from the force, it's han "great job kid now let's blow this thing and go home"
Luke: aaaaaaahhhhh the pleasure! I'm blasting your inner wet walls with my jawa juice!
Rey: thank you, my master. The ritual is complete. Now I am the Almighty Mary sue! All white males must commit suicide in my honor!
Luke: as you wish, my vaginal god
Luke ignites his green saber and slices off his dick and balls and then stabs himself in the chest.
As the camera fades to black, the camera pans slowly over to chewie, hairy hard and ready for sloppy seconds
Grayson Brown
you forgot about these
Adam Harris
>it's punishingly long
It's fucking 2 and a half hours, that used to be standard for tons of fucking movies. When did this start becoming something to knock a movie for?
Until you cross LOTR territory (3+ hours) your movie isn't "punishingly long".
It is because of dumbass reviews like this we now have companies mandating movie run-times to directors and limiting them from the get-go.
Wyatt Taylor
Im assuming is a combination of lenght and a boring story that makes it "punishing" rather than "pleasing".
Mason Johnson
LoTR extended isn't punishingly long either, it's not about the runtime, it's about the quality and pacing of the film.
Kayden White
That's an increasingly nervous man trying to convince himself he liked it. I've been there, second time I saw Phantom Menace in the theater.
Ryan Bennett
Na. Thats just reviews now.
>HEADLINE: GO SEE IT.
>Body of text: If you can overlook all these flaws. You know what? Maybe dont.
Dominic Diaz
That's code for boring idiot
Justin Campbell
If it's a shit movie you don't want it to last that long but they're probably just trying to be the first to trash it for clicks
Nicholas Wood
10/10 pasta. Best thing to come out of this film.
Easton Perry
ASS WARS is Pure Kino
Michael Richardson
youtube.com
Oh, God, Grace Randolph loved it. But she loves BvS so I am conflicted.
Robert Gutierrez
one hour of watching your mom sucking my dick, it's punishingly long
Adrian Harris
What’s this fudge I’m hearing about?
Elijah Smith
It’s called “I don’t like this movie really but I don’t want to not lose my vip to premieres and lose money.”
Jordan Williams
...
Adrian Reyes
SEXUAL ASSAULT ACCUSATIONS WHEN
Leo Jackson
>This punishingly long installment will fill your starwars shaped fudge hole
Connor Young
...
Gabriel King
t. angry mouse just got potato shoved in his tailpipe
Joseph Wood
They chose political correctness over a good story
Josiah Powell
killing a white guy is political correctness