THE LAST JEDI SCRIPT LEAK

It's 100% real.

This is a fucking shit show.

pastebin.com/dRvyu1dE

(PORG CHIRPING)

Chewie!

(CHEWIE GROWLS)

(PORG CRYING)

(CHEWIE GROWLS)

(SCREAMS)

There it is!

That is a big gun.

if this is real, im going to kill myself

What do you know
about the Force?


It's a power that Jedi have


that lets them control people


and make things float.

So Luke dies for no reason, Snoke dies for no reason and some random kid we’ve never met before has force powers for no reason

That’s just retarded enough to be real.

Why is the formatting like this? I expected an actual script. No direction, can't tell whose speaking most of the time. Is this the norm?

it’s the subtitles

they're subs

This isn't the script, this is a leak of the subtitle text. That's why it's so choppy.

this literally reads like a retarded four year old wrote it

kennedy needs to be shot

"See you around, kid."


OH NOO NONO NO NO NO NO NO NO PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

...

Not reading this garbage, someone paste the important parts so I can ruin it for people

it's real. it has that line about "get your head out of your cockpit" that has been referred to in multiple reviews

Kylo kills Snoke. Luke dies by becoming one with the force.

>(PORG CHIRPING)
>Chewie!
>(CHEWIE GROWLS)
>(PORG CRYING)
>(CHEWIE GROWLS)
>(SCREAMS)
>There it is!
>That is a big gun.

>Why does he wear the mask?

You retards do realize that scripts always sound more retarded alone that in context right? Not saying the TLJ is going to be good but goddamn, at least wait for the move to come out.

jesus christ this sounds horrible

I failed you, Ben.


-I'm sorry.
-I'm sure you are!


The Resistance is dead.


The war is over.


And when I kill you,


I will have killed
the last Jedi.


Amazing.

for you

He truly was, the last Jedi

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

>”And with that, I will have finally become Star Wars Episode VIII - The Last Jedi”

>inb4 'after all these years i have finally become... the last jedi'

wait so who is snoke exactly? its kind of hard to read it

Holy shit. HOLY SHIT.

-POE: Hi.
-Hi.


I'm Poe.


Rey.


I know.

>This happens right after he dies

(SNOKE LAUGHING)


You think you can turn him?


Pathetic child.


I cannot be betrayed,


I cannot be beaten.


I see his mind,


I see his every intent.

>[Ren] You know the truth.
>Say it.
>Say it.

>They were nobody.
>They were filthy junk traders
>who sold you off
>for drinking money.

>[Rey] (SOBS)


>[Ren] They're dead in a paupers'
>grave in the Jakku desert.

>You have no place
>in this story.

>You come from nothing.
>You're nothing.
>But not to me.

>Join me.

oh my god, they literally made Rey a nobody so her and Kylo could get together

He's literally no one.

-(C'AI LAUGHS)
-C'ai!

SNOKE: Such spunk.

Thanks friend!

seriously? so just some random soldier that rose to power or something?

>[Snoke]
>Young fool.
>It was I
>who bridged your minds.

>I stoked
>Ren's conflicted soul.

>I knew he was not strong
>enough to hide it from you.

>I'm sorry Finn. I know that you're in love with me, but I can't allow my superior white, Force sensitive genes to mingle with your subhuman ones. We need to turn Kylo back to the light side so that I can accept his seed and secure a future for the white race

Holy shit, don't know how Rian slipped that one in.

is it true that kylo kills snoke?

>ctrl+f
>kiss
>0 results
reylo confirmed fucking death

holy shit
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHHAAHAH

>random kid
you left out the fact that he's black. it's a very important plot detail.

He's strong in the force and corrupted Kylo. That's it. No revealed connection to the OT cast.

>it's real
What the hell?

Rey.


I want you to join me.


We can rule together and bring
a new order to the galaxy.


Don't do this, Ben.


Please don't go this way.


No, no. You're still
holding on! Let go!


Do you wanna know the truth
about your parents?


Or have you always known?


And you've just
hidden it away.


You know the truth.


Say it.


Say it.


They were nobody.


They were filthy junk traders


who sold you off
for drinking money.

>You have no place
>in this story.
>you were a clever ruse
>by our overpaid writers
>who realized this trilogy was to similar to the original
>so they changed things up a bit
>so your parentage wasn't important to the main story
>but still
>they didn't want to come up with anything too original
>so it's still basically the same
>but worse

The epitome of women, nothing, who need to attach themselves to a powerful successful man to turn them into something.

Bravo Kathleen Kennedy and Disney, you still couldn't run from womens' true destiny.

He's just a wealthy dude strong in the dark side, that used both to form the Not-Empire.

Based Kylo

stick around for the memes

The dialogue is worse than the prequels, what the fuck.

There’s something deeper going on. This shit doesn't work at the basic archetypal, Jungian level the original Star Wars narrative operates on. These things were good movies for children because they were based on the structure and themes of ancient myths and classic fairytales. That's why they worked. Now they're pure (((deconstructionist))), post-modern anti-Western pop shit for the consumerism-brainwashed masses.

Make no mistake: the deconstruction of the original narrative, the killing of the Hero in a pathetical way, is absolutely deliberate. It is an act of cultural warfare.

it reads like a 13 year old's fan fiction on fanfiction.net

(PORG CHITTERS INQUISITIVELY)

>Master Yoda.
>Young Skywalker.
>I'm ending all of this. The tree, the text, the Jedi. I'm gonna burn it down.
>Hmm.

(LAUGHING)

>Ah, Skywalker. Missed you, have I.

(GRUNTS)

>So it is time for the Jedi Order to end.

>Time it is. Hmm. For you to look past a pile of old books, hmm?

>The sacred Jedi texts.

>Oh. Read them, have you?

-Well, I...

-Page-turners they were not.

Can someone please explain the first part... is it like a prank phone call quip-fest?

Actually sort of hard to read

thanks armond

for chewie

But user. They don’t mention sand :)

>tfw you lived long enough to see Luke and Yoda quipping at each other

Fuck. It's fucking horrible. Worst part is I already have tickets.

*inexplicably gets shanked*

That's exactly what it is. Poe is on the First Order's screen and fucking around

Attention.


This is Commander Poe Dameron
of the Republic fleet,
I have an urgent
communique for General Hugs.
Patch him through.


This is General Hux
of the First Order.


The Republic is no more.


Your fleet are Rebel scum
and war criminals.


Tell your precious princess
there will be no terms,


there will be no surrender.


POE: Hi, I'm holding
for General Hugs.


This is Hux.


You and your friends
are doomed.


We will wipe your filth
from the galaxy.


POE: Okay. I'll hold.


Hello?


POE: Hello? Yup.
I'm still here.


Can he hear me?


-POE: Hugs?
-He can.


POE: With an 'H.' Skinny guy.
Kinda pasty.
I can hear you.
Can you hear me?


Look, I can't hold forever.
If you reach him,


tell him Leia has
an urgent message for him...


I believe
he's tooling with you, sir.

and a pansexual gender fluid muslim.

Yes.
Poe is the humor man, so at the start in a fight between First Order and Resistance, Poe gets a message/call from Hux, and then he gives him a big meme beatdown by calling him General Hugs and giving a solid Your Mom joke.

That's literally it. Poe goes out to prank call Hux and they have a quip exchange that ends in a your mom joke.

it needs to make sense to Mexican grandma's and Chinese farmers that just saw their first movie 3 years ago

>Hux is spelled as "hugs" twice
WHAT FUCKING PAJEETS DID DISNEY OUTSOURCE THIS TO

>You have no place in this story.
How true

...
that's literally the joke

>I already have tickets
Why?

>You have no place
>in this story.

This is supposed to be clever meta humour isn't it? Because she's a female protagonist in a series previously dominated by men.

yes, thank you for the correction. i misspoke earlier.

I will never train
another generation of Jedi.
I came to this island to die


FUCKING DISNEY AND JEW JEW

>it's an epic quip
that's even worse

>And when I kill you,
>I will have killed
>the last Jedi.
It's like fucking poetry

thats honestly what I first thought too. Their mostly female writing cast wanted to kill Luke because it would piss off white dudes. Not seeing this movie in theaters, not paying one dollar.

Do you think someone could be so autistic to write down this fake only to trick us?

30 YEARS WAIT, JUST TO QUIP WITH YODA!!!!!

...

I don't really like Star Wars, I just want to spoil it for people.

Does Luke really die in this one?

>pure (((deconstructionist))), post-modern anti-Western pop shit for the consumerism-brainwashed masses
user, are you fucking retarded? The narrative of this is the literal opposite of deconstructionism, you can't get more formulaic and barebones as far as children story goes. Stop throwing around academic buzzwords that you don't understand just because you see alt-right YouTubers using them when complaining about "" cultural Marxism"".

holy shit we have 4 characters now that beep boop chirp and growl. Is this for the 3 year olds or the autistic screenings with slides and a ball pit?

APOLOGIZE

That's the point, man

Find a way to see this movie without paying, get in, and if the script matches up, start fucking laughing as hard as you can

The war


is just beginning.


And I will not be
the last Jedi.

this reads like fan fiction
this is like legend of korra levels of bad

They turned Luke into a coward. The real Luke would fight for Ben and try to persuade him back to the light, like he did to his father in ROTJ.

Fuck Disney

Skywalker,


still looking to the horizon.


Never here, now, hmm?


The need
in front of your nose.


Hmm?


I was weak.


Unwise.


Lost Ben Solo, you did.


Lose Rey, we must not.


I can't be
what she needs me to be.


Heeded my words not, did you?


Pass on what you have learned.


Strength, mastery.


But weakness,


folly, failure also.


Yes, failure most of all.


The greatest teacher,
failure is.

So Luke basically learned nothing. He's an old man and he's still the same brash boy he was in ESB. Fuck you, Ryan.

mfw

Yes. Every leak here and elsewhere is the same. Go out there and fucking sing it. This movie is shame on Luke

>It's literal fecal matter

Because I got them 2 months ago with friends. I had no idea they'd go full retard. Every fan theory about Luke and Snoke and Rey's parents was better than this.

>ONCE I KILL YOU I'LL BE THE LAST JEDI

>Page-turners they were not.

>The greatest teacher,
>failure is.

Doesn't make sense considering Yoda literally said to Luke "Do or do not, there is no try."

This isn't Yoda, and this isn't Luke. Luke wouldn't be an old hermit fat coward. This is Disney's shit focus group interpretations of them.

It's literal SHIT

Not being contrarian. it is pop culture soulless SHIT written by a corporate robot.

Palpatine was just some low-ranking Senator from a backwater colony world. Dooku abandoned the Jedi to reclaim his family wealth and title.

Thank you.

what you expected? Its one liner text with no video. With tonns of CGI and Wilhelm screams every five minutes it will be better

I fucking told you guys this for the last two goddamn years! Nobody believed me!