Just watched TLJ and... It’s not good. I’m gonna try to be spoiler free.
From the very beginning you feel that Disney have decided to make this movie for kids. In the first 15 minutes you see the “bad guys” all acting goofy and making stupid faces and “your momma” jokes, destroying the characters completely from the previous film. You cannot take them seriously.
They completely butcher the first Rey and Luke Skywalker scene by doing a “meme” that puts you totally off and doesn’t have anything to do with how the previous film ended.
ALL THE CHARACTERS HAVE CHANGED FROM THE PREVIOUS MOVIE AND THEY -ALL- HAVE BEEN TONED DOWN FOR KIDS.
And the Leia scene... dont even get me started. You’ll see. Anyways, have any of you seen the movie yet?
Only good about this film: Rei and Kylo’s realationship.
I just wanna know the mechanism that allows Leia to pull of what she did.
Elijah Cox
That shit was so ridiculous and dumb the entire theatre started laughing
Brandon Long
Fuck you
Nathan Cox
Spoil the alleged meme.
Aaron Ross
Fortunately 9.7 is practically an F on IGN.
Ethan Turner
Hahahaha. Is it another "NOOOOOOOO!"?
Alexander Ortiz
What happened?
Matthew Lopez
>Decided to make this movie for kids Obviously it's for kids are you retarded? The original trilogy was literally a cash grab to get him out of bankruptcy and was at the time seen as a kids movie. It's just """oldfags""" today who are stuck in their manchild mentality still think star wars is their franchise and targeted to their adult sensibilities when in fact it's still for kids, porgs are the new ewoks.
Get over it.
This is a capeshit-tier movie. Movies like How to train your Dragon and Kung Fu Panda are better than this mediocre schlock. It is nothing but reddit memes, hotpockets and cheeto dust
Ethan Bailey
>I’m gonna try to be spoiler free
No one cares about that you reddit cocksucker.
Liam Jenkins
>ship explodes
>She's in space freezing
>uses force to fly back with superman like pose in slow motion no sound
Dominic Lewis
just spoil it, who gives a fuck about some faggy cape shit star wars movie.
Aaron Roberts
yes. Cringe levels went crazy in the whole theatre
Evan Stewart
this
Jace Ross
WHAT’S THE MEME
Isaac Edwards
luke throws the lightsaber off the cliff
Henry Cook
After watching The Last Jedi.
TFA is a masterpiece.
Henry Mitchell
IGN is a known paid shill, user. Don't worry.
Samuel Barnes
I unironically agree with you user
Mason Cruz
best scene
Cameron Adams
so if i want to appeal to tumblrinas, all i got to do is make a strong independent female character who proceeds to get abused by a wimpy edgelord on a powertrip?
Charles Cox
>From the very beginning you feel that Disney have decided to make this movie for kids. yeah, as if Star Wars never aimed towards children... either way, should I believe the leaks, or not?
Kayden Rivera
Have you ever read any popular ya fiction, she doesn't even need to be strong.
Aaron Russell
So in the end, who is snoke ?
Adam Thompson
No one. All rumours/speculations were wrong.
Asher Cox
More like all rumors/speculations amounted to nothing since even in the film his backstory/character is non-existent.
Nathan Campbell
H U G S O A X
Samuel Young
>ALL THE CHARACTERS HAVE CHANGED FROM THE PREVIOUS MOVIE AND THEY -ALL- HAVE BEEN TONED DOWN FOR KIDS.
Yeah, this series is made for kids. Oh, what's that?
when you say meme - you don't mean that luke throwing the saber away is done like the sassy blacks' "mic drop", do you ?
Bentley Brooks
>not teaching your kids Galactic Conquest
Jack Thompson
>lesadface.jpg
Christopher Martin
Can confirm it is WOAT. Even worse than Attack of the Clones
Tyler Hall
>he thinks anyone on the Mouse's payroll will bad mouth a Disney movie
not unless they want to commit suicide via two gun shots to the back of the head
Blake Sanders
>worse then clones The mouse can’t possibly do that. This shit is impossible to fuck up
Henry Turner
>Worse than AOTC Literally impossible
Carson Mitchell
You haven't read the leaks. It is that bad.
Elijah Bennett
It is. Like OP said there’s quips from start to finish. Everything from TFA is undone and made pointless. You don’t even feel like you’re watching a SW movie. It totally shits on the lore of the OT and PT. Fucking terrible
>I haven’t even mentioned Laura Dern, who turns up as a lavender-haired admiral. There’s so much else going on in the film that Dern gets 13th billing in its credits. Her character doesn’t make much of an impression but does get to do something really cool involving light speed near the two-hour mark. Unfortunately it’s the first cool thing that happens in the movie, and though it leads to a reasonably rousing and twisty battle scene, I was numbed by all the idiocy that comes before and with it. Does Poe really get jailed for a parking violation? Does BB-8 really overcome an adversary with a fusillade of poker chips? Does an evil First Order warrior in a shiny metal uniform really get called “chrome dome”? Is there really a gag about how the ancient, sacred Jedi texts aren’t exactly “page-turners”? Are there really terriers made out of what appear to be the kind of icicles you hang on a Christmas tree, and are they really called “crystal critters”? Are we really meant to believe wars are won “not fighting what we hate but saving what we love”? Maybe Luke was right. Maybe the Jedi should have been allowed to just die out.
It is bad.
Carson Parker
You say that now. Just wait until you see it.
Justin Price
Does BB8 start shooting casino tokens at bad guys, because a casino patron has mistaken it for a slot machine?
James Rodriguez
What the fuck.
Liam Anderson
>IGN >Brian 'The Cuck Manchild' Altano Opinion thrown in the trash.
Jaxon Hall
I disagree on everything except the Luke and Leia introduction scene, which I thought was the weakest scene of the movie. This movie is no more for kids than every other movie in the entire series, you're kidding yourself if you think otherwise.
Luke Bell
>Does Poe really get jailed for a parking violation?
NO
FUCKING
WAY
Easton James
>some reviewers actually think this scene honors the druggie Fisher and like it OH NONONONO
>Luke: "I must consult the Ancient Texts!" >cut to Luke passed out and old-man snoring over a desk
This.... This is what happens, isn't it?
Cooper Smith
*breathes in*
William Mitchell
unironically yes
Angel Brooks
>>Are we really meant to believe wars are won “not fighting what we hate but saving what we love”?
literally 'if you kill your enemies they win'
James Rivera
is the "i will have killed the last jedi" quote true?
Easton Cooper
>literally 'if you kill your enemies they win' THEY DIDN'T EVEN FLIRT THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE GODDAMN MOVIE!
Leo Clark
...
Adam Ward
It's in the subs, and they line up with everything else.
Mason Collins
jfc I want to watch it now and look at how bad it all is
Eli Hernandez
>movie doesn't come out for two more days sure OP
Zachary Perry
Ironically, these leaks make me want to see it more now just to witness this clusterfuck.
Colton Howard
exactly how i feel right now. Until recently i was just gonna wait for a torrent or hd stream but holy fug it sounds so bad it might be entertaining
Jackson Garcia
>nobody responds to your obvious bait the first time >post it again
Nathaniel Fisher
>Maybe Luke was right. Maybe the Jedi should have been allowed to just die out.
Brutal
Josiah Foster
Explain this. Is this what Disney had in mind for Luke Skywalker? Milking sloth titties for green milk!?
Charles Green
All you had to say was tauntaun
Hunter Gutierrez
>now i'll reply to myself
Samuel Nelson
>Luke: I failed you, Ben. I'm sorry. >Kylo: I'm sure you are! The Resistance is dead. The war is over. And when I kill you, I will have killed the last Jedi. >Luke: Amazing. Every word of what you just said was wrong. The Rebellion is reborn today. The war is just beginning. And I will not be the last Jedi. >Kylo: I'll destroy her, and you, and all of it. >Luke: No. Strike me down in anger and I'll always be with you. Just like your father. >(LIGHTSABER CRACKLING) >(GRUNTS) >(SCREAMING) >Luke: See you around, kid.
Parker Green
I hate when people say "for kids" that is just a cop out for a bad script / movie. Sounds like the trash leaks tho.
Isaac Gutierrez
>This shit is impossible to fuck up Have you seen the last two faggot?
Jose Rogers
Ok lads, I bought a ticket and decided I wasn't gonna go cause the movies so shitty. Fuck that, I'm going by myself and laughing my ass off the whole time. I'll get the whole fucking theatre rolling I swear I'm gonna video it. This movie is gonna be the most fun I've had at a kinoplex in the longest time.
>leia superman scene literally turns all the sound off in the theater It's like they asked for it. I'm going to laugh so fucking hard I hope my spirit leaves my body
Alexander Allen
look mom
i posted it again
Zachary Wright
You fucks are part of the problem
David Brown
>Calling the bad guy Chrome Dome That's on the level of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles...
Bentley Watson
You wont do anything cuck
Kayden Foster
And yet, it's even a track on the soundtrack.
Oliver Wood
I'm waiting for a dvdrip. This movie isn't even worth it to be torrented in bluray
Liam Howard
please do it you glorious autist. I will be laughing right along with you.
Sebastian Lopez
haha ok
Anthony Sanders
I swear to everything holy next Wednesday I will post the video. I'll even do the OHNONONONO. This is going to be the most fun I've ever had at a movie
Elijah Martinez
Make sure to have the most infectiously retarded laugh in the theatre.
>77 May the Force be with you user. We're counting on you.
Liam Williams
it pains me to say it, but it was. I struggled to think of any redeeming qualities after I watched it. All of these glowing reviews are because manchildren are overreacting to Luke dying. The movie fucking sucks
Leo Wright
>If your movie depends on Mark Hamill trying to be Walter Matthau, you’ve got trouble. Why is Luke, previously the most earnest guy in the galaxy, letting loose with acerbic wisecracks? When Rey hands Luke her precious light saber, he tosses it over his shoulder like an empty can of Dr. Pepper. He mocks it as a “laser sword,” while Rey, asked to explain the Force, calls it a “power . . . that makes things float.” The tone here is similar to that of the self-aware jocularity of the progressively less successful 2009–2016 Star Trek series, whose concept is apparently being ditched in favor of an R-rated reboot overseen by Quentin Tarantino. You can go with self-mockery if you want, but it amounts to burning your seed corn to warm your hands. Get a cheap laugh poking fun at the mythology and its power won’t be there when you need it.
Dear lord, they're not exaggerating about the quippy-ness.
David Murphy
>flying through space like Mary Poppins.
The superman Leiah bit is confirmed.
Aiden Garcia
So it's a reversal of tone like Thor Ragnarök was to Thor and The Dark World. Sad.
Elijah Morgan
Is this shit actually worse than TFA
Anthony Richardson
It's quiptastic.
Parker Thompson
> Johnson’s tone is jarring, as are his choices to give characters never-before-seen powers — conducting transgalactic telepathic Skype calls, flying through space like Mary Poppins
Dear lord, Leia scene is basically confirmed.
Lincoln Johnson
Youre beyond stupid if you think any major media outlet will rate it anything lower than a 9.5 or A-.
Justin Cook
this is what you get for bullying george lucas
Alexander King
>Does Poe really get jailed for a parking violation?
Aiden Hernandez
>Like the Republican party in California, the Jedi were thriving as recently as 30 years ago, but now exist only as memories and legends. kek. Who is this reviewer? Sounds kinda based.
Cooper Scott
Are there kyber crystals in that training rock like the Lego set revealed?
Is broom boy a white boy or a nigger boy?
Luis Moore
this trainwreck sounds so bad it almost makes me want to go and experience it first hand.
After TFA I swore not give a penny to the Mouse.
Levi Ortiz
This we do not know, because we only have the subs and through that, only the complete dialogue and some important sound cues.
Owen Perry
Oh shit [female writer #2], I have no idea what to do with this fucking nerd movie.
Well [female writer #1], I have a great idea. Lets just kill off one of each of the original cast each movie. That way we can cash in on the emotional investment of those characters without having to actually make characters of our own.
[female writer #2], I love you, lets scissor while laugh at pictures of drumpftards in the Northern states living like third worlders because we tricked these goys into exporting their middle class to boost foreign economies around the world.
I am on my period though [female writer #1]
So am I [female writer #2]
Carter Johnson
>Poe gets a parking violation >And a maggot on his sleeve >then shaves his face, with some mace in the dark.
Carson Rogers
As is Rey/Kylo, and Luke's trying to kill child Ben.