Luke Skywalker died a virgin who only ever kissed his sister

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Fuk that noise. Mara Jade is canon.
Not these diversity poster shit heads

That is what made him such a great character. He was always so relatable.

At least he sucked a sloth's nipple.

I didn’t even think of that. This movie is going to backfire so fucking hard. Total character assassination of the Original trio

truly /ourguy/ to the very end

THE MOUSE IS NOT CANON

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Who care? He's A FUCKING WHITE MALE!

Mark Hamill says no, his child killed himself with a lightsaber
ew.com/movies/2017/12/04/star-wars-mark-hamill-luke-skywalker-backstory/

You understand what ever Mark feels like making up in his head means absolutely jack shit and is of no importance right?

You know he got himself some of that Arturian poon

Oh fuck that, that's just Jack O'Neil's back story.

But a poster on Sup Forums who didn't get his theory OK'd by Rian Johnson personally is 100% correct?

>not shown
>didn't happen

That's that.

He undoubtedly had a p-orgy some of those long, cold Achoo nights.

>luke skywalker died at least kissing his sister
whats it like to kiss someone?

>Luke Skywalker died a virgin
Wrong

>implying luke didnt fuck that 4 tittied sloth thing every night

Unsatisfying, most times.

milk and salty coins

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well, whats it like having a person willing to kiss you, even if the kissing isnt all that good?

Eh, depends on the girl. The last one i had i just thought she was a stupid and easily manipulated bitch.

Nice. I experienced it once. You can partially simulate the effect by having one side of your mouth numbed at the dentist, then proceed to lick that side with your tongue. Warm, wet and a bit iron-y. However, you're obviously missing out on the second tongue going on exploring your side.

When you kill off the 2 of the trio that are still actually alive.

sex is degenerate anyway

He banged a thott on Jakku and fled before knowing she's preg.

He got to suck green milk straight from the teet, close enough.

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our guy

I don't have a sister to kiss, but I've accidentally drank my brother's urine.

Mara wasn't that much better. She treated him like her little bitch.

im in a similar boat, ive accidentaly drank my neighbors semen about 8 times now

Same.

Yeh and how many guys do you know that are willing to be treated like that just to get a little peek at the puss.
>unheard of

does leia die in the flick?

Funny enough I had a neighbor that used to drink my semen.

Brad?

The hell are you talking about? He banged a bunch of chicks before finally marrying Mara and having Ben.

Wait he died off screen? You guys realize that means hes still alive right?

Charlie?

>he hasn't kissed his sister
beta as fuck

Men don't have babies.

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I dreamed last night I had sex with my sister. I don't think she's even very attractive objectively. In the dream I literally slid in and out of her repeatedly in a hotel room, and then she orgasmed. It wasn't a wet dream either, I dunno what's wrong with me.

virgin btw

Mara got blacked too when she dated Lando kek

>virgin btw
yeah no need to tell me

he had to make that up because his backstory in TLj fucking sucks and totally wrong for the character

I'm sure many people that lust for their sisters aren't virgins.

transphobe

Holy shit dude.

I wonder ((who)) came up with that.

>died a wizard

You should fuck your sister

literally /our/guy

Does remaining a virgin helps maintining midichlorians?
Do you lose some every time you cum?

That is not true!!!!
My Nigga Luke fucked this bitch

Rey or Leia feels it in the force that he's gone.
Subtitles:
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If Luke abandoned the Jedi code than there's no need for him to be celibate.
He could've used a porg as a cocksleeve with a totally clear conscience.

Involuntary Celibate

Disney specifically made him a genderfluid otherkin who typically identifies as a male homosexual. This is literally canon and you can never change it. Thank the mouse Sup Forums.

Well that's great news for dudes paying child support

He's probably just hiding it like they do in Dragon Ball Z

>Luke was carrying the Disney version of an ysalamir in his pocket and just shielded himself from the Force with it, giving the impression that he winked out of existence

and carrie fisher died a crackwhore who only got her role because she fucked a crew member

:(

Women kiss to get things.

So it feels like being used.

Which crew member?

All of them, eventually.

Had to fuck the entire crew and your reward was generations of nerdboi's jacking off to you.
Do you think it was worth it?

Kinda. Being Leia certainly immortalized her for a while.
But then her habitual drinking and drug abuse addled her brain and helped her into an early grave at 60, looking 80, with her comparatively mother hot on her heels.
So no. Not really worth it.

Here was lukes girlfriend in a star wars deleted scene.

>died a space wizard
truly /ourguy/

stupid metaphor for gun violence
hamill deserved to die

*comparatively youthful

I thought you were saying "her comparatively hot mother."

wasnt biggs dickmonger fucking her though?

ONE OF US
ONE OF US

>be the strongest jedi of all time
>OP thinks this kind of commitment allows you to have sex.

At least he got sloth milkers.

mommy

That too would be meeting the criteria of a true statement.

wut

It's true.

>Gimme gimme slothy titties
>Be they stiff or filled with milkies

Those are some pretty big nips for a childrens book.

That's why his force wizard powers were so developed.

bestiality is the new fetish the jew will push on children. MLP primed them.

>as a wizard, his only power was projection

That's meta.

I'm pretty sure Hamill did an interview where he said (perhaps jokingly) that Luke was gay and in love with Biggs.

>he's a pretty biggs guy
>for EU

Sounds like the average person who posts on here

The black men meme was already beastiality.

Kek

That joke hasn't been made 1000 times over in this thread alone, good job.

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Reddit
For Leia to become so powerful, imagine how many cocks she must have milked.

>virgin btw
Obviously