After all these years, finally, I've become The Last Jedi®

>After all these years, finally, I've become The Last Jedi®

Jesus Christ...

Other urls found in this thread:

taliondiscord.tumblr.com/archive
agirlwithwinter.tumblr.com/
mediafire.com/file/7gwciil126n4jk3/tljvids.zip
pastebin.com/WNKvjtgz
twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

Can someone link me all the spoilers?

>killing old characters is COOL and EDGY right guys?
I blame Game of Thrones.

yes we really need that 20th thread for this garbage

Spoilers are out then. Where's the webm?

Honestly more like Anton LaVey

HAVE YOU COME TO SAY YOU FORGIVE ME?

TO SAVE MY SOUL?

Rundown:
Black guy and asian chick do nothing of note
Luke is edgelord who was going to kill teenage Kylo in his sleep
Kylo kills Snoke just because. Nothing is revealed about Snoke.
Kylo become the new Supreme Leader
Leia uses the force to fly through space
There's a space battle involving a light-speed kamikaze attack by a capital ship
Luke dies by exhausting himself due to making a force hologram to piss off Kylo
Force ghost Yoda destroys all the ancient Jedi knowledge
Rey knows everything about the force and the bestest force user ever

I DIKE DA SDAR WARES SO I HAS TO MAIKE LOTS OF THREADS ABOT IT

I’ll tell you.

>Luke dies via astral projection
>Snoke dies like a bitch
>Phasma potentially dies, falls into an explosion
>Finn gets YELLOWED
>Leia survives, but implies that Poe Dameron will become the leader of the Resistance
>Laura Dern karate chops a Star Destroyer in half
>Kylo becomes new Supreme Leader by cucking the fuck out of Hux
>Rey is Rey
>Yoda spends his one scene shitting all over the Jedi legacy
>Rey’s parents sold her into servitude for beer money
>final shot of the movie is a latino child brandishing his Rebel Alliance logo while using the force to grab a broom, he looks up and sees a shooting star, and while this is happening he raises his broom at an angle where light reflects off of its handle to look like a lightsaber

We had a screening at my theater. If you have questions, I can try to answer.

>0

Why grown up people pay their money to watch that?

They're Star Wars fans (the very same time of people that made this movie)

because people are stupid and will watch anything with a formulaic script and expensive cgi

LUKE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THIS
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO SYNTHESIZE THE JEDI AND SITH
SELF CONTROL WITHOUT REJECTION OF HUMANITY
HE WAS THE CHOSEN ONE

Rollan

This movie sounds like shit.

taliondiscord.tumblr.com/archive
agirlwithwinter.tumblr.com/
mediafire.com/file/7gwciil126n4jk3/tljvids.zip
pastebin.com/WNKvjtgz

No idea, I saw it for free and still feel cheated.

>rey is rey
What does she do thry all the entire movie?

marketing and pandering

>"Luke can I have some milk?"

JUST

>Empire takes over again three decades later
>literally everything Luke ever did was utterly pointless

...

That's gay as hell

c-c-c-combo

>Leia uses the force to fly through space
>Force ghost Yoda destroys all the ancient Jedi knowledge
please tell me there are good plot reasons for these points

>Ugh, sweetie, just... ugh. Literally everything you just said was wrong. *clapping emoji*

Spends the first half getting REEEEE’d at by Luke. Spends the second half kicking ass and saving everybody, with zero dramatic tension.

Ashley looks like she’ll keep suckin after you nut. Rolling.

>Unauthorized necromancy

>tagged as transgender
31/32 GET

"Space" in old Star Wars is too boring for modern audiences. We need it to be the same as every other space movie!
Jedi books? Sounds like prequel shit to be? No THANKS midichlorians LOL

literally because Rey is the best ever. Fuck you Luke, you faggot failure. Also who needs the past the force is female.
I wish I was joking

IS THIS REAL

>”What is the Force?”
>”It’s an energy that connects everything, and lets you lift rocks?”
>”OHHHH NO NO NO NONONONONO AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH HAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA”

roll

time to show me that feminine penis gal

I wish I could say I'm disappointed, I'm not

>Leia uses the force to fly through space
lmao what??

nu-wars

>Han and Leia's marriage fails
>their son is evil
>Luke is a sociopath and a failure
>they all get killed off

Fuck Disney, if I see Kennedy I'll rape her.

impressive

please be blonde

>please tell me there are good plot reasons for these points

Yoda did it to have a giggle with Luke. Seriously.

>Paige-turners, they were not.
>mfw

Can’t have young kids thinking older generations might be heroes or worse better than the new one.

rolling for NA waifu

>>Paige-turners, they were not.
stop please

Damn so many qt girls.

rawhide

the thing that gets me the most is the bad dye job. Why not just keep the shaggy salt and pepper look? You know, since that's how he looked in the last one which I'm assuming takes place less than a week before the fight?

The ship she’s on gets blasted by one of Kylo’s troops. Instead of dying in space, she Superman-flies into another Rebel cruiser to survive.

>There's a space battle involving a light-speed kamikaze attack by a capital ship

That's kinda cool. Fuck the rest, though.

It looks like Luke projects himself at his prime presumably 15-20 years ago, and how fagboi would remember him.

>Can’t have young kids thinking white males might be heroes or worse better than the new one.

fixed it

That's just the projection. He looks older in his physical form.

...

rell

how fucking lazy

...

...

Is... is this true?

That sounds pretty fucking funny desu senpai

Rolled

let's go

>statuary rape
>incest
o baby

when will they leak the cam stream?

doin it

roll

This as my hope. After TFA I realized that they are dumbing it down to a level where kreia-level discussions on the force are impossible. But the level of retardation in TLJseems to be greater than anticipated.

rollin

leggo

gotta do it

Rollan

...

>Why do Jedi still exist? Why do sith still exist? They only do bad shit to galaxy
>Lmao you're crazy old bitch
>Four thousand years passes by
>Jedi ended must be

Fucking Disney, go fuck yourself.

Roasties

Not him, but yes. She extends her hand towards the ship to imply that she's using the force, then falls over when she gets within the doors, looking frozen as hell. She shouldn't have survived that.

holy shit, snoke died like a bitch mid-monologue gloating for 5 minutes about how he is so powerful and allknowing

sigh.... roll

rollan

He didn't really say this did he?

Rolling for 10-12,
13-15,
52-54 ,
67-68 ,
79-81 ,
98-90,
99, and 69

uwu

FUCK!
reroll

I never saw it I was hoping he was joking

Last one, then I'm out

I'm sorry Russell.

THE SWAGLORD

Rolling

>>Laura Dern karate chops a Star Destroyer in half
huh?

>nice, I got my stalkerfu

Rolling for a naughty hottie

roll then

He does

She’s in charge of a Resistance transport that’s being pursued by a First Order Star Destroyer. She sends everyone out on escape pods, while she turns the transport ship against the Star Destroyer. At point-blank range, she activates lightspeed which obliterates her ship while cleaving the pursuing Star Destroyer in two at the same time, buying time for the escapees.

pls

Poor little ren

...

...