ITT: We pitch our idea for the LotR reboot

ITT: We pitch our idea for the LotR reboot

>Set 30 years after the events of RotK
>After Mordor fell, a new Dark Lord called 'Droke' showed up in town and rebuilt everything, including a brand new Ring of Power - even more powerful than the last
>During his time as King, Aragorn disbanded the armies of men, leaving nobody to defend against the growing darkness in Mordor
>This leads to a splinter group of soldiers forming - known as the 'Defenders of the Light' who attempt to fight the armies of Mordor
>They are defeated, but manage to cut off the hand of Lord Droke and separate him from his Ring
>The Ring shows up years later in The Parish after being picked up by a young female hobbit called Freya
>She puts on the ring and is immediately set upon by agents of the dark lord, rescued in the nick of time by Legolas and Gimli
>They tell her that the only way to destroy the ring is to cast it into the fires of Mt Doom
>But to do that they need to find Frodo and Sam, who have disappeared since returning to Middle Earth after their brief holiday in the Undying Lands
>Now we follow our young Hobbit hero on a quest to find Frodo and defeat evil forever (again)

Don't give them ideas please

>young female hobbit called Freya
Immersion lost. Female hobbits are mostly named after flowers.

uhh sexist much?

I think it would be interesting to see a more militarized Hobbit society, especially after the Scouring. Dunno, not a big Tolkien buff though

lets kill droko mid season finale of season 2

The main cast is now all black. Frodo Dabbins (John Boyega) and Samwise Ganja (Idris Elba) must journey to Mt. Doom to destroy the One Ring.

You forgot to include the lovechild of Gimli and Legolas,

The half-dwarf, half-elf Milo Loth'Ren. He's Droke's most trusted commander, having been seduced by the power of the ring.

They are joined by al'Gimli, a homosexual arab dwarf and legolas, a pansexual male elf. As they journey through middle earth, they realize that the cause of the dark lords wickedness is actually his hatred of haradrim, who have been trying to peacefully settle gondor for generation but are kept back by the Swan knight border patrol.

>thinking they would care

Doesn't the fantasy stuff kinda end for middle earth some time after ROTK? Elves go to heaven, dwarves go to die, hobbits disappear?

That's why it would be hard to soft-reboot it with a story set some years later.

I did like how it's basically the plot of Force Awakens,
but it's so generic it can be literally any soft reboot

Gimli dies trying to redeem his son who became a bad guy. In the next film, Frodo dies after throwing himself into Mt Doom after the ring, just like Gollum, because his previous arc doesn't matter anymore and he still wants a ring.

>Legolas and Gimli
Legolas and Gimli's daughters. (adopted daughters, Legolas and Gimli are married to each other.)

I seriously doubt anybody involved in a LotR sequel cares about the 'true' canon of what happened after RotK.

...

>a different island on the same planet as lord of the rings, about the size and shape of chile but slightly wider with a snowy mountain range right up the middle
>the island is one country of humans with a king, soldiers, wizards, pretty much shire, bree and rohan with roads connecting everywhere up
>the wizards know of a secret cave like moria where you can go way down and find a river that makes you immortal
>the bad king has an army and possibly a bad mage, he and 90 of his best men venture into the cave to drink from the river
>they maybe have their evil mage with them, guiding them, and a spy for the good wizard
>theyve got the bad king, all his commanders, his right hand men, and 50 of his best soldiers, some dual wielding archers, crossbows, pikes, spears, axes, knives and swords
>the good king and his wizard know that the bad king has broken into the forbidden cave to drink from the river, theyre waiting for them to enter
>after a few hours of the bad king being in the cave, the good king destroys the entrance and the supporting beams and it caves, the good wizard also casts a spell locking the entrance
>the bad king and his men drink, but realize they are trapped in forever, they stay in the room where the river flows because it lights the place up a bit
>they drink from the river for nourishment and live for eternity
>they argue, joke, and funny scenarios happen but the keep their heirarchy,the king stays their king, but they are all crazy
>300 years later our protags are the new good king, his niece who is travelling, and a king's caravan that travels the roads from town to town delivering official stuff, it has an old man like gandalf
>the good wizard is dead / gone, the king has an army but it has been 100s of years since war
>the old stories about evil kings hidden in mountains are only myths and most people believe they are just stories to scare children
>the country hasnt advanced in 300 years, its still like shire, bree, with some gondor.

>after the prologue showing the bad king getting trapped in the cave, were with the king's niece and her guards as they travel somewhere on a royal visit, they have a group of soldiers, horses, their guides and carriages
>they happen to be going past the big scary mountain that has the cave entrance
>they are attacked by a group of insanely prepared and good soldiers, some get stabbed but are immortal, the good guys get completely slaughtered except for the kings niece and one of the guides who grabbed her from her chariot during the attack and ran off into the forest
>it goes back to the bad king and his men trapped in the cave hundreds of years earlier
>one of the crazy bad guys starts digging and chipping away at the back wall of the cave as he cannot do it against the good wizards spell
>he makes alot of noise and argues with people, he destroys his own weapons but he begins to chip away at the rock. He steals other peoples weapons and starts to tunnel out bit by bit, over hundreds of years
>eventually he is in his tunnel and thinks he feels mud or clay, he digs and digs more and its wet, a spray of water starts coming through
>thats when he freaks out and starts backing out of his tunnel, he gets back to the room of bad soldiers and they hear a rumble and his tunnel is flowing with a big river of water
>they all freak out thinking they will drown, trying to kill the digger in anger, when the water stops at their waste and stops flowing
>they look down at the tunnel he has dug and see a blue light coming through
>the bad king goes underwater and looks down the tunnel and sees an opening large enoguh to swim through
>he swims through and after a few scenes of him nearly drowning, he comes out the other side of the muddy / stony tunnel, gaspign for air through mud and roots, in a puddle of water, he is at the bottom of a mostly drained pond, the top is frozen with a layer of ice drippign down on him, the blue sun is rising on the other side

>the bad king is at the bottom of this drained icey pond when he feels some hands struggling behind him, he pulls through his right hand man. they both stare up at the sheet of thick ice above them, with drops of water hitting their faces and tongues, then they feel another person's hands being born through the mud and roots beneath them, so they go undder and pull him up. Eventually they all escape and climb up the side of the pond, the bad king climbs up the steep pond side, takes hold of some roots, leans out and holds his sword about to strike, when his entire troop begin cheering and shouting in support, the camera switches to outside of the frozen pond where we can see his figure beneath, blurred cheering and then the tip of his sword pierce through
>thats when we skip back to the kings niece and her rookie guide/hunter (the same age as her, both 25) running through the forest away from the bad king
>they arent being followed and get to safety, they plan to walk to the nearest kings army station hundreds of miles away, part of the movie is them two going through the countryside and wild to the barracks/town. the bad king and his men are crazy and dont care if people escape, they are chaotic and they plan to cover the entire island and kill literally everyone, they are so angry from being trapped and crazy from years of drinking from the river, as even a sip drives you mad
>word travells about a group of men travelling down from the mountains/caves and killing all the townspeople, villagers, farmers, and outposts they can find
>the good king, his commanders are in the capital listening to the reports, they are planning to march. the pattern of attacks on the countrys map leads them to know that the bad guys are marching to their home province, so the good king and his army begin marching there
>before he leaves the capital, he arranges our other main protags to try and find a new good wizard or to find the location of the old good wizard

>the One Bling

>our new protags are sent out from the capital to locate the old wizard or find a new one
>the old wizard is actually awoken from his sleep and brought back to colour in a scary mansion where many towns people say stories of an insane witch living there and killing people
>the king is aware of stories like this but didnt believe them and didnt even believe that his own lineage and ancestors had wizards hundreds of years ago
>our new protags end up in a town with one of these stories and spend a few interesting scenes finding a wizard everyone talks about, when they approach him, he puts on an act with smoke and mirrors but eventually they bust him as a bit of an idiot pretending to be one, although the audience are meant to believe he was real for a while due to the music and camerawork
>this new crappy wizard cannot do any magic and is our comic relief, eventually he is used as bait / a stage to scare the evil mage as many of the countrys people actually believe hs is the real one, so he is useful
>the real good wizard is awakening in his castle as he knows that the evil king and mage and rampaging across the country, and it is prophecy that he would awaken to fight them in the last battle
>eventually the envoys sent to find the wizard and the dumb wizard discover the real wizards castle, and after some trickery, scary stuff and a fake battle, the real good wizard reveals himself in all his magic, fire, spells and colour, he is old like gandalf but whilst shining they make him look young like theodon from old to young, he joins the battle for the good king and now the good wizard, the dumb wannabe wizard and the 2 envoys are marching to help the good king
>we leave all that crazy stuff behind and go to a king's caravan that is unaware of the attacks and is in isolation, travelling across an insane mountain pass, with maybe 2 or 4 people in the carriages and 4 horses. they are carrying supplies and messages

Or, better...
>King Aragorn begins to train a new elite group of Orc hunters to round up the tenants of Sauron's armies, but suspects Faramir's son, Guylo, his top student, has secretly been conspiring with the shadowy Lord Droke (rumoured to come from beyond the Sea of Rhun)
>The King goes to confront Guylo but accidentally tries to murder him
>Guylo wakes just in time and fucks up Aragorn. He then gathers his closest friends and together they murder the rest of Aragorn's students
>Aragorn survives but retires in shame to the island of Tolfalas, where he spends the next 30 years milking seals and wallowing in his own self pity. Droke and Guylo invade and destroy Gondor in the meantime but Aragorn has no idea and gives no fucks
>then, one day, a young peasant girl comes to him and presents him with Anduril
>she pleads with him to aid in the fight against Guylo and Droke but Aragorn can't be fucked and throws Anduril over some cliffs
>she warns him that Lady Eowyn is in mortal danger, but Aragorn remembers that Eowyn doesn't have the blood of Numenor and looks old af now anyway. He tells the girl to fuck off
>Aragorn is then visited by Gandalf in full Maia mode. Mithrandir rips him a new arsehole and tells him to sort his shit out
>just as all seems lost, Aragorn calls Droke on the palantir but Guylo answers
>as the last remnants of the men of the west make their escape, Aragorn tells Guylo, "see you around, kid," and dies

This

A White Evil Numenorian rises as the new dark lord. A new team of rangers, leaded by a strong woman, a mysterious haradrim and a goofy rohirrim must stop him before he genocides some poor orc babies.

>the leader of the caravan sits on top of the carriage leading the horses, like the guy in the hateful eight, except this guy is an old guy that has been travleling the roads on his carriage/caravan for decades, and he says he knows every road, lane, country, town, and every major and atleast a dozen people in every village up the country
>he travels in a loop up and down the country, using different roads and going across the deadly mountain passes to get to the other side
>he has 2 horses carrying his carriage and 2 horses carrying a massive crate with deliveres and supplies
>they travel slowly, his carriage is huge inside with every cool little amenitity, and the 2-4 people in his group are all cozy inside drinking and having a laugh, the old guy tells stories and they all camp
>when they stop in the cold, their carts, carriages and supplies enable them to construct a little area to keep the horses happy and almost indoors, everything is perfect
>they are donated supplies from every farmer, cigars, weed, bottles, soda drinks, every cool little supply
>they deliver official supplies to towns and pick up more on the way, there are many caravans like this constantly covering the country, they are like an amenity and king's presence or government to everyone
>one of the travellers is actually a secret royal heir, the prince or king's brother, who was taken in secret as a baby to be raised in a farm / travelling and he eventually becomes king when the king dies
>skip to the king's niece and her guide are still walking and camping in the wild to get to safety when they are attacked by the bad king and his men who make a mockery of the guide and pretend to battle him sincerely then stab him with his own sword and he is slaughtered infront of the king's niece, the evil mage takes her hostage as he knows she is royal
>the bad kings men are leaving the corpse of our dead protag to continue, when some of the evil soldiers start to disrespect the corpse

>as they are disrespecting the corpse of the dead young guide, they are about to decapitate him when one of them lifts their axe in the air to do it, his arm is grabbed by the evil king's right hand man who slaps him and he drops the axe and falls back and tells him to fuck off back into troop, the shitty soldiers run away back to the march and leave the dead boy, the right hand man looks at him in sadness and walks back to the front of the march, beside the evil king and evil mage
>the good wizard still has a good spy as a general soldier in the evil king's army and he has kept his sanity, mind, his goodness and his loyalty, but he is pretending to be an evil soldier, he even pretended to drink from the river for the first few years until he started to noticeably age/weaken/feel pain and started drinking from it, but kept his sanity
>our troop of bad soldiers, bad king and bad mage come across an unsuspecting forest village and they go cabin to cabin slaughtering the families, some of them are running through the streets killing, others are entering the houses and impaling people
>we see inside one of the houses as 2 bad soldiers burst through the door and kill 2 men and 2 boys, there is a young girl and the woman hiding in the household and the bad man are about to cut them down when the right hand man enters again and tells them to leave them for him, he wants to kill them, and also tells them to get back outside and continue the fight
>they run out and kill a few more villagers, and we hear the woman and child scream before they are 'executed' from the house. they move on to the next town after killing most people, but they dont care if some escape. we see the woman and child from earlier come out of their hiding place and ride away to the capital - the right hand man saved them.
>now both armies - 100 immortal evil men vs the country, a wizard, king & his 10000 troops, plus more conscripting every day, are marching towards the evil king's home region

>Legolas gets thrown into space by a super troll and uses Eru Power (TM) to fly over to a meteor and ride it down to kill the troll

Do the First Age.

>skip back to our king's caravan in the isolated mountain region carrying supplies to outposts and lighting street lanterns on the way
>they are in snowy, icy conditions, inside the carriage having fun and drinking, lying on their bunks
>the horses are slowly walking along outside, keeping them going along the way the carriages arent designed to go too fast anyway
>the old guide guy has every tool requried that comes up in the movie, including wee birds that fly around and scout out the area to help anyone, if they see someone lying or in need, then the humans from the carriage (and their big dog) rush out to save them, this happens in the film, they save a man from death in the snow
>the old guide guy has told stories about the evil immortal king getting trapped in the mountain, and now he is telling a story about some miners who found something equivalent to the magical river, possibly better, when they were mining in a different mountain range
>he tells the story and says he believes it as much as the story about the evil king. but that this one is thousands of years old. he explains that miners found a substance / material when they cracked down rock, and that the miner who found it was allowed to keep it, but it was too hot / electic to touch, it was a small glowing rock. he smelted it down into a sword with other great sword materials and when he wielded it, he was the greatest soldier to ever exist, and was impervious to damage.
>this miner / soldier was a good man and decided never to use this, but he was burdened with immortality, and watched everyone he loved die, he ran away never to be seen again, saying before he left that he would return to save the country in its timeof need. He was following the evil king, and he watches the young guide from earlier get slaughtered whilst protecting the king's niece. he was nearby watching him battle the immortal soldiers and he gave it his all until they beat him down and killed him with his own sword.

I think I could say something like this about almost everything in TLJ

Remake the trilogy GOT style, one season per book. Even more if we can.

R8 my cast.

>the miner with the sword that makes you immortal/immune comes out of the trees to the corpse of our protag and looks down at him, he was impressed with how this guy fought against a group of immortal soldiers (even though the soldiers were only mocking him and acting insincere for a while). the miner leans down and puts the sword in the dead guide's hand, the miner stumbles back as he dies, he is finally free, he is thousands of years old and almost immediately decays, turns to bone, withers away into dust and then blows away in the wind, with his knightly mining armor lying there
>the sword is lying in the dead protag's hands when a light enters his skin and flows along his veins, up his arm, through his chest. it his his heart and we hear a heart beat, his hand tightens on the sword's grip, the light is going through veins on his neck and up into his head, into his brain, and his eyes open. he is now an immortal soldier with a fierying electric sword, allied to the good king, and enraged at how he was killed.. he dual wields his own sword that he was impaled on, and he has glowing scars from the time they desecrated his corpse. he puts on the insane looking mining knight soldier armor and marches off after the bad king, for revenge and to save the king's niece / princess, his sword is the only thing that can cut through their skin as they are completely immune to everything except the substance in this sword. he is the only man that can kill the evil king or the evil soldiers. the good wizard is the only man who can stop the evil mage, and everyone inbetween will die, thousands every day until the war is stopped. this new good saviour discovers a horse and he rides in the tracks of the bad king, discovering all the dead bodies, villages and familes on the way, he is enraged, he will cut through them all like water. they cannot harm him, but his sword slides through them like butter

>Argone, son of Tyrone, a loner who wanders into town telling "we wuz kangs" stories
>Height-impaired race finds the last known wedding ring
>Wise old witch tells them they have to throw it into the library, where no one will ever look for it.
>Enlists the help of legolas and his gay lover gimli, a white male named boromir (who of course betrays them), and two other midgets in a 4-way poly-amorous relationship.

>the good king is still marching with thousands of soldiers from the capital when they meet the other 4,000 troops in the middle of the country
>these soldiers are useless against the immortal men, except if they overcome them and manage to disarm all of the evil immortals
>their only way of winning is to outnumber the immortal men and waste as much time as possible whilst trying to save the country, and to try and find the good wizard to save them
>everyday more volunteers are joining them as they march up to where they know the enemy are marching to
>they estimate that 10% of the countrys population has been killed in the past few weeks of attacks, the country is in a state of confusion, with birds being used to spread bad news all across the country, and they are unsure if the evil immortal men will slaughter their own region / villages that they originated from
>word has gone out to everyone in the country to avoid the regions of the evil men and never to confront them, as they kill everyone, and even pretend to lose for a while just for fun before proving their immortality and skill with their swords
>when the evil king and his men arrive in the home region, most people have deserted as they are loyal to the overall country, altough the bad guys do rally up thousands of evil men who are loyal to them and who stayed in the towns like cowboys to fight, drink and commit crime in this dark region
>soon they will all meet in a huge battle

>the evil king has now visited his home region that was mostly deprecated and deserted, he has gone from town to town seeing how dark and dismal it is, and he has thousands of criminals, cowboys, prisoners, men loyal to him and his old kingship, marching behind him to slaughter the rest of the country, both scouts from both armies know that they are marching towards eachother and will soon meet
>a massive battle happens where all of the mortal evil men die against the good king, and the good king dies, and his entire army is destroyed by the 100 immortal men, and his army splinters and deserts and hundreds of good men escape in every direction. 10 of the immortal evil men were killed in crazy circumstances, a few good soldiers managed to drown one of them but it took several minutes of him squirming underwater, another was killed by a bear/shark/whale (ill make it work as a director). two evil soldiers were killed in a horse charge, another kicked by a horse and althoughhis skull was impervious, his brain was damaged, there were stories of good soldiers capturing immortal soldiers and ripping them apart via horse, and even stories of some men strong enough to impale them and kill them, but over 5000 of the king's soldiers died just to kill 10 of the immortal men.

>Literal children for hobbits
>Dat Tom
>Dat Gollum
8/10, would meme-watch

>the good king is dead and so is most of his army, his country is unorganized, everyone is panicked and have deserted their posts and towns, his capital is unguarded and everyone knows that the evil king is alive, organized and on the march
>the evil king has even started decorating the areas and places that they have ruined with his battle standards and flag, and nobody confronts them or challenges them as they march along the road
>there is still 80-90 evil immortal men, and they have been training for hundreds of years. they are completely dynamic and agile, posing as 100 swords men in one rank, then 50 spearmen and 50 crossbowmen in the next moment, and then moving off into different formations and stances, at times even looking like several hundred men.
>the only good people left are the ~2 million citizens, 10,000 soldiers dotted around the country, the 50,000 potential soldiers who could fight
>we still have most of our protags, the caravan travelling through the mountains containing the new king who doesn't know he is the king (as he was raised in secret after being hidden as a baby), the good wizard, the dumb wizard and the envoys, and the resurected guide who has the miners sword. it is up to these people to get the army together and kill all of the remaining evil men. the wizard can kill the evil mage and he can also cast spells that will restrain the other immortal men to help good soldiers
>the rest of the trilogy is a couple of smaller battles as they all meet. the good wizard had a spy in the evil army all along who does some stuff, the evil king's right hand man saves a few more innocents before he is killed, the evil mage has allready killed thousands of humans until the good wizard kills him, but they kill eachother so they are both dead. the new king is travelling in the carriage when he learns he is the heir to the throne, he unites the armies, countries and kills the evil king in battle.

This is probably the worst idea I've ever seen. With the exception of the Star Wars sequels.
>a tale about two rapping homies journey to meet the evil rapper MC Doom, in a rap battle. Whomever wins get the One Bling

i keked at tom and golem

>we get many scenes of the immortal men slowly getting killed by good soldiers in uncoventinal ways, such as being disarmed and carried to a rooftop and thrown off (several times if necessary), buried alive, drowned, fed to bears, impaled if done right, crushed and being thrown into a massive burning fire or factory / blacksmith area
>the main good soldier is the resurrected guide guy who is immortal because he has that crazy sword from earlier. he arrived at a town's gate the moment before the evil king attacked and he killed several of them before they retreated after seeing so many of their own immortal men get stabbed and slaughtered by this man, they fell back and were in shock and the evil king rethought his strategy. these men do not know that it is the guide that they killed earlier. this guy kills the evil king's right hand man and takes off his helmet and the king's right hand man is shocked as he holds onto him dying, as this is the corpse that he stopped his soldiers beheading earlier
>eventually all the evil king, his mage, and all of the immortal men are imprisoned, killed by the good guy's sword or killed in some crazy way.
>the new king is crowned in the capital after everyone now knows he is royal and was the king's brother all along, his carraige friends and his old guide are in the crowd smiling, the good wizard is dead except the dumb comic relief wizard actually learned alot from him and takes over from him.
>the resureccted guide visits the capital during the ceremony and sees the king's niece that he loves but he does not persue her, they smile from afar, as he knows he should be dead and is living life as a corpse, he disappears in the same way that the miner did, hiding in the mountains with the immortal sword waiting for the country to be attacked, so he can pass the sword on to a deserving person who died.

Take place after LOTR. All the orcs of Mordor basically ran off during final fight. Basically focus on regular people coping with huge orc hordes roaming the country side 70 years later after all the characters are either dead or sailed away.

Gives you same layout for nostalgia, enough room for new stuff and general sword play.

Elves don't go to heaven, they can't. They have no afterlife. They either live in Arda (of which the undying lands are still technically part of) or they're stuck in limbo with Mandos.

>hobbits disappear
Hold up what