What would happen if I asked him for bread while he was serving me?

What would happen if I asked him for bread while he was serving me?

He would ask you for 300 dorras regardless of what you order.

it would cost 300 dollars be served unbaked and require a 3 month reservation

He'd sudoku you right there and then

He wouldn't understand you because he doesn't speak English.

>bread?
>bread??!!!
>I give you breeaaad!!!!
>make your head bread!

Splits your head open and laughs at your blood

Sukiyabashi Jiro
Formerly Chuck's

>implying his restaurant takes gaijin reservations
(lol

You literally cannot eat in any of these expensive sushi restaurants without a Jap guide and their reservation time is like half a year at most.

NO SOUP FOR YOU

>massages your brain for 45 minutes

What was this expression attempting to convey?

>takes a tiny chunk out of your brain
>puts it on rice
>serves it to the next customer
>that will be 500 dollars sir

Jiro posting is just like sushi: it's not even good when fresh. After that is just rotten. Let it go.

you can if you are rich and famous

Herro! Wercome to Sukiyabashi Jiro!

Want rice? two hunred dorrar!
Sushi? 600 dorrar!

...

...

you will never pay exorbitant prices for something you will turn into feces and flush down a sewage pipe only hours after consuming

Ono has served Shinzo Abe and Barack Obama at Sukiyabashi Jiro. Obama stated, "I was born in Hawaii and ate a lot of sushi, and this was the most mediocre sushi I’ve ever had in my life."

Obama didn't even finish the meal. What a nigger.

Why do we hate him? He found the one thing he wanted to do and made a successful business out of exploiting the rich's excess. He is a model that dedication and hard work does pay off. What do you care that billionaires and millionaires pay a token sum to try raw fish.

>c-can I get a fork please? I have carpal tunnel syndrome and can't use these chop-
>*jiro pulls out his hanzo blade and swiftly chops off your head, leaving a fountain of blood pouring from your neck*
>thatu wirru be fuhree hundured dollaru, gaijin

based Obama, I knew he was our Burger, autistic raw fish vendor BTFO

Big if true. Where did you read that?

Redpill me on sushi, why and doesn't the raw fish give you food poisoning?

kek
midichorians

it's flash frozen, fish usually doesn't have the problems that cows or chickens (salmonella etc) have with their meat, there are parasites however flash freezing fish takes care of that

You'd get 300 replies without fail.

>how's it goin' smoothskin

does he have ketchup there or would i need to bring my own?

>arrive at jiro's restaurant
>he puts down the first piece of sushi
>take fork and knife from my pocket
>proceed to cut sushi piece in half with knife
>put half of it on my fork
>take ketchup from my pocket, put a nice big splash of it on the sushi
>put sushi sandwich in my mouth
>loudly slurp it all down with the diet coke i also smuggled inside

would jiro approve?

without you even noticing he would instantly and precisely strike you in a dozen pressure points before you could even reach for those utensils. six hours later you would die from internal bleeding.

Ketchup is $50 extra, just sneak your own in.

Stupid, stupid baka gaijin user..

>not using a spork
>not bringing ketchup packets from fastfood joints

What people on Sup Forums who mainly sustain themselves from hot pockets don't get is that eating at jiros is a luxury thing. Like wearing a rolex, driving a Ferrari or fucking a expensive escort.
You can wear a 10 dollar digital wall mart watch, you can take the bus to work or to check in your disability assistance and you can jack off if you don't wanna do all those things.
It's about status, not about being full.

me on the left

Because food poisoning is caused by pathogens, not by virtue of the meat being raw. Cleaning the meat makes it safe to consume raw. Fish is relatively speaking, easy to clean. Especially saltwater fish.

I'm sure he would actually look at you since your baka gajin

Japanese have the highest life expectation despite eating raw chicken and fish all the time.
Americans only eat processed meat and fish and keel over with diabeetus from their hfcs a lot sooner.

Still doesn't make what he's doing any less stupid

He is from Kenya

I remember this. He added, "I can't believe I let that wrinkly old slant swindle a few thousand American tax dol- er, swindle me and Honest Abe out of our hard-earned money."

being from hawai he's probably used to poke
that shit is god-tier

Hong Kong is the highest now, with Japs writing articles on how to emulate their food culture in order to reclaim the "Longest Lifespan" throne.

Dude, nobody who can afford to go to his place gives a shit what you think.
There's countless sushi bars in Tokyo where you could literally stuff your face for a day for the price of jiros.
People who go to jiro to pay 300 bux for 20 minutes of his sushi just do it because they got shit tons of money and like the status of it.
People like you being jelly or mad over it with jealousness fogging your brain just makes it more enjoyable to them because it shows them how exclusive their hobbies are.
Literally like wearing a rolex and drinking 500 Euro French champagne out of a luxus escorts asshole.
Sure it's pointless and there's easier ways to get a staph infection but that's exactly what makes it luxury

And it's a waste of luxury.
There are far more refined ways to spend money. Only those who are desperate to prove themselves need to do these stupid stunts.

LOL you don't get it, do you?
It's all make believe, even whatever worthless shit you pleb think is real luxury

He would probably cough in your face purposely and the take out his flaccid penis and rub your sushi piece on it before throwing it in your face.

*tips menorah*

>and the take out his flaccid penis and rub your sushi piece on it before throwing it in your face.
What if you then pick up that penis-sushi and slowly suckle on it whilst keeping fixed eye contact with Jiro?

>we
Shut the fuck up you little faggot and never ever do this stupid shit again on my fucking website

Then he would probably stab you in the head with a kunai or have somebody shoot you or something and he'd spit on your corpse.

Hey, anything to put that talentless vinegared rice peddler into jail, I suppose.