>Hufflepuff!
wat do?
Hufflepuff!
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be comfy
This. Best house, least bullshit. Have a normal magic education and be done with it.
Just be quiet and try not to stand out
seconded
everyone else is so dramatic and killing each other and im just trying to learn and go study harmless potions in some lab on my own
Be part of the dullest house in the dullest franchise
>But how am I to pay for all this? I haven't any money.
>There's your money. Gringotts, the wizard bank. Ain't no safer place, not one.
>Hagrid, what exactly are these things?
>They're goblins. Clever as they come, but not the most friendly of beasts. Best stay close.
..."stretched his legs"...
Fuck some Hufflecunny
Kys myself
This desu.
Get a bookworm gf for the library and make sure to keep the butterbeer flowing on the weekends senpai.
*double crosses you even though you saved him from totalitarian genocidal asshole*
Jesus Christ Rowling
Kek
Do you think any of the ladies in the paintings fuck the students? like some next level /ss/ shit is going on in that place?
Also do you think harry potter ever went back to that snake that could talk and fucked it? I mean why wouldn't you fuck a sentient snake?
Now that are some important questions.
bang all the thicc chicks with self-confidence issues
I'm pretty sure Hogwarts was Penn State x 1000. Probable pervert in charge, bunch of cooky colourful "characters" (predators), the obliviate spell. Harry probably constantly woke up with his asshole torn to shreds and no recollection of what happened.
How did Raimi get away with this?
>not just repairoing his ass
that brings up the real question would it repair a hymen?
Start my sex change and grind my boipussy on Slytherin Chad cock.
So many fucking soyboys in here
>don't wanna participate in the fate of good vs evil ans just wanna be comfy
Slytherin all the way baby
Lay back and stay away from Potter as far as possible. Bang chill Hufflepuff chicks and nerdy Ravenclaw bitches all day and drink butterbeer
Put me in Slytherin with the qt nazi girls and the kino giant squid viewing window or I'll take a giant ogre shit in you right here in front of everybody
Seppuku desu
>don't wanna participate in the fate of good vs evil ans just wanna be comfy
See if "fate" aka the plot is so heavily heavily rigged in favour of a single human being, there's no point in fighting.
Don't get in Potters way and you're good
>be evil for the sake of being evil
Drumpfkin mentality
>Nono, this is not a antisemitic depiction of the jewish people as goblins! This depiction is based on medieval european images and folklore about goblins based on antisemitic depictions of the jewish people as goblins
>soyboys
>I literally want to fuck every sentient thing in that castle
You're the cuck.
Ravenclaw turboautists = best house
...
t. soyboy
Inb4 pasta
>Do you think any of the ladies in the paintings fuck the students?
maybe stripped, but surely not fucked. That wouldn't work. Same with ghosts. I'd love to make Myrthle moan, but i couldn't touch her.
seealmost
there has to be a spell about fucking ghosts.
Husslepuff 4lyf baby!!
>Good goy, Harry! (((Gringotts))) will keep yer money safe hehe
Brew luck potion and try to bang slytherin chicks
>Brew Polyjuice potion
>collect hair of everything i want to bang
>petrificus totalus on roommate
>force feed potion
>huffle my puff
>obliviate
continue for rest of school
Hufflepuffs are bros.
My great aunt used to get naked and dance behind an empty frame for guys at a burlesque show to jerk off to while she stripped and danced seductively. I only got to see two shows but I imagine it's the same thing.
>My great aunt
>I only got to see two shows
???
elaborate
The snake was female?
I hope so.
Me and my cousins used to go to the burlesque theater to jerk off (masturbate) but I only saw Nana perform twice before she died.
...
Oh my God, no one's posted the pasta yet
She died because the doctor misdiagnosed her. I miss her. I used to go to that burlesque theater every day after school. Now i only go once a year on Nana's birthday.
>The Virgin Potter vs. Chadrick Diggery
>to jerk off (masturbate)
thanks for the clarification
Jerking off used to mean monkeying around or dillydallying.
>tfw spent my teenage years reading hp fanfic
I spent my teen years masturbating in a burlesque theater. Harry potter wasn't around back then
I know, but i could have guessed what you meant from context
>hufflepuff
>full of comfy, shy qt3.14s that are down to fuck
Thank you magic house merchant.
This,
Tonks was Hufflepuff.
Anyone who puts qts before battle magic is sure to get kadavra'd
Magical women. Its a no from me.
can she grow a dick if she wants?
Tonks was actually in Ravenclaw you stupid cunt. Go slit your wrists.
Redpill the hufflepuff house on the truth of Slytherin.
It's not like it's hard to learn
Point your stick and be a faster speaker (with correct pronounciation) than your opponent. Practice speedrapping in your free time and you're good.
Don't be like Snape:
>Exp......................................................elliarmus
go to the common room and rape newt
It's a lot about the spirit of the caster
What if fucking Hufflepuff bitches elevates my spirit?
You're wrong google it you massive fucking faggot
>learn how to rap
>all of a sudden your wand becomes a machine gun
piss in the hat
Goygle says she is in Ravenclaw too. Kill yourself hufflefag
Chill out and enjoy my time at Hogwarts
Sorry m8 tonks was a Hufflepuff. She's also Bellatrix's niece
Choke on your mother's shit.
You'd think some wizards would just use alchemy to make shit loads of gold and get rich in the muggle world.
wingardium levibonesa
>sorting hat: Slytherin!!
Well shit, looks like i'm automatically a bad guy.
>become an A student in elixirs and hang out with Slughorn.
That being said : Elixirs >>>>> rest of the shit >>>>>>>>> soyboy´s defense againts dark magic
You would need powerful alchemy to do that. Like the philosophers stone, which are extremely rare and probably illegal, hence why gold is still valuable to wizards.
Are mages so retarded that they dont carry revolvers/pistols as addition to magic wands?
First they're britbong user, you know what happens when citizens carry weapons with them
Second modern stuffs don't work in school I think
What would happen if you said "accio sun"?
your wand gets pulled into the sun
>a gun
>relatively simple mechanical systems and explosives
>modern
Blame purebloods who hate basically fucking everything for bringing all technological advancement to almost a complete halt for centuries.