GET STUCKMANNIZED

Holy crap, it must be good if Christ Stukmann gave it a glowing review. Hes usually really critical of SW movies. Why did you guys lie to me?

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=2qpT7bWSgwg
youtube.com/watch?v=eki2AtlZhGc
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Last_man
twitter.com/SFWRedditImages

It doesn't get more soyboy than Stuckman.

fuck this dude

don't worry, people like his review before they actually see the movie

once they see the film, his credibility will be shot for many

Look at his room full of merchandise, look at his clothing, look at his tattoos. Tell me he isnt a fanboy. I cant understand how people take these kind of critics seriously, they are 100% on board with it even when its no good.

Is that NES even hooked up?

>has video game character tattoos
This guy is a fagaroni

am I supposed to know who this is or why his opinion is important?

Damage control.

Fuck him

Chris Cuckmann looks like the kind of dude thats into pegging.

S O Y
O
Y

Something something Zod's neck

10000000% this

Disney paid for his teeth fixing procedure and now the Mouse has him by his soynuts

Fanboys hate this movie though.

>NES as a decoration
Sick gamer cred bro. I frickin love epic video games!!

>a grown man
>wearing a shirt with such feminine sleeves
Good god

If this guy was a real fanboy he wouldn't he shilling it.

He's a Soyboy plant who got Disney dollars for certain.

that fucking tattoo

He hates ROGUE ONE

He's not only scarred himself but also built a mausoleum to his soyboy, nu-male, culturally devoid consumer faggotry. He IS the Soyboy.
I know the dirty commie, antif-aggot, redditors here hate these words for how concise and cutting they are, but they are but never have they been more apt then for this man.

Isn't his wife ugly? Like he could do better, he's a good looking dude, no homo

He's incredibly unremarkable looking, no stand out positive features anywhere so the only thing a girl would notice is his babyface. Trust me, I'm a fucking stud here.

He also really likes The Force Awakens..

tell that to zod's snapped neck

fpbp

>star fox and samus tats

Ew.

he's married and his wife is pretty hot, but i think it's been confirmed that he enjoys being cucked legit

Get Stuckmannized faggots

Source?

i'm 4 minutes in hes shitting on the movie so far. when does he go soy

Don't call me a prick!!!!!!!

OH NO NO NO

>he loves yoda saying they're not page-turners

PFFFFFT


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA

yeah this guy is full soy

ZOD'S BROKEN NECK

He grew up with star wars. Carrie Fisher was his childhood hero.

Tell that to Snoke's sliced sides.

He's right you know.

>Kylo Ren is one of my favorite villains in recent years
The absolute STATE of film.

>youtube """"""""""""""critics"""""""""""""""""

cringiest tattoos I've ever seen yuck

>albeit most tattoos are cringy

>Carrie Fisher was his childhood hero.

This statement basically sums up exactly why I fucking hate Stuckmann. EVERYTHING was a core part of his childhood, he treasures and loves every single franchise from the 70s-90s, he's a fan of absolutely fucking everything and he says shit like this to somehow build credibility so we believe he has a more insightful take on new films.

And don't get me started on his faggy tattoos on his weak little twiglet arms.

Those aren't even his worst.

>He liked Leia floating back in like superman
He is 100% a paid shill for Disney. Theres no way.

>He is 100% a paid shill
RLM called him out on shilling for Annabelle. He just can't stop taking those big checks.

And he sucks RLM dick so much that he even commented on that video

I lost my image of an user's copypasta with my edited photo of Chris at the bottom. His wife giving him a blowjob.
If any user saved it, post it here and remember to keep emailing it to him. Messaging it to him on twitter. It gets him furious every single time.
Dumb stupid fat faggot

holy shit how does anyone take this guy seriously?

Perhaps the least-defined arms I've ever seen on an adult man.

The soy meme is real

AHAHAHAHAHAH.
It's so funny, it's almost like watching a coprophagy show.

Wasnt there one that made him literally start crying?

I understand why he got the tattoos he did but goddamn they look lame, he coulve got something properly designed nit literally clip art from the internet made into a tattoo. Theyre all things that have "changed his life", Signs is the movie that made him want to make movies.

>Wasnt there one that made him literally start crying?
Yes, yes there was.
youtube.com/watch?v=2qpT7bWSgwg

>Wasnt there one that made him literally start crying?
Yes, RLM sarcastically called certain types of reviewers dickheads or something; reviewers like Stuckmann or Jeremy Jahns or countless others who post their face in front of a red background as their video thumbnail.

Stuckmann made a video with tears in his eyes about how he unsubscribed from RLM after that, but then messaged them on twitter and they said it was a joke and there was no contempt between them (keep in mind RLM literally didn't even namedrop him or show a picture of him; they just made a vague reference). So he resubbed and then uploaded his gay little video about the whole ordeal.

nothing wrong with that

>videogame tattoos

usually if someone busts your balls you just bust them back. you don't cry about it. kinda gay desu

Whew

Hey didn't even call him a dickhead, Rich said he and all the movie reviewing fakers were "pricks"

>not having a tattoo of your favorite kino
What? Are you not confident on your taste?

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Post

>nintendo tattoos

>Shelf full of manga, comics and plastic crap behind
EVERY
SINGLE
TIME

>nintendo tattoo

>ugly arm tattoos
>nu-male beard
>T-shirt is choking the life out of him
I don't even know who this guy is

I like his reviews.

The Last Jedi is an enjoyable movie, but a very bad installment in the saga as a whole.

love this thicc ass brit, shame her best anal close-ups are with pencil dick meme actor

Is that a smash bros tattoo?

hah

this mans opinion is like himself

worthless

>when you lack personality so badly that you have to literally brand yourself with your favorite franchises and flicks

>GotG tattoo

>nintendo tattoos

I don't like his channel and he seems pretty thick, but at least he seems fairly authentic.

>fairly authentic
He's the biggest fucking yes-man in the world. I don't think he has a single dissenting opinion against popular movies. Especially if it's a retread of an old franchise.

Joe didn't like it very much

youtube.com/watch?v=eki2AtlZhGc

>those fucking toys in the background
disgusting. grow the fuck up

Which is honestly surprising considering he liked Rogue One and Suicide Squad.
Wait...is TLJ too kino for normies and thats why its getting good critical appeal but no viewer appeal? Say it isnt so.

name me a better thicc actress than her

But how will people know how much of a nerd he is if he doesn't show off his sweet merch in the background??? He's not just some poser, you know, he's got real nerd cred!!

Is that the zods snapped neck guy? I would take his opinion with a grain of salt.. just my two sense.

what a faggot

I know soyboy is a meme but is there a better word to describe these manchildren? It used to be called a nerd but nowadays these people are everywhere and pretty mainstream. Jerry Seinfeld (fictinal version) was one of the first I remember. The telltale sign is a shelf filled with comic books, movies and dozens of action figurines of various video game and movie characters. Stuckmann is the upgraded 21st century version with completed look of a matching nerdy tattoo. That kind of desperate holding on to fantasy worlds and nostalgic memories is really detrimental to the mind

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Last_man

These little boys live in a world where they never have to face true adversity, so they're allowed to stay in their safe little fantasy worlds and never grow up. They don't like things that are challenging (which is why none of them lift weights to improve themselves physically, and very few have anything beyond a bachelor's degree in some meme major). They like consuming the same things they consumed as children. The only real difference is that now they can grow patchy, ugly beards to hide their weak jaws and they can post vlogs so everyone can here their take on Kiddie Franchise Film #43982

>en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Last_man
Nice one user. This board does not deserve you.

>The only real difference is that now they can grow patchy, ugly beards to hide their weak jaws
Cutting me pretty deep there user

>which is why none of them lift weights to improve themselves physically, and very few have anything beyond a bachelor's degree in some meme major
You lost me here, I lift and I assure you I am not a quintessential mans man". I browse fucking Sup Forums on Friday for fuck sake, same as you.

>pencil dick
user why do you care about dick size in porn

I didn't say that one must be a man's man if they lift. My only observation was that these Stuckmann-type reviewers tend to be frail, weak little men. I lift as well and I'm still shitposting on a Friday night. But I also don't make internet reviews about children's movies.

He gives literal trash A, he also thought age of ultron was better than Logan. A reputable source of cinema criticism.

how to stop being last man

Eat like an adult (plenty of meat, don't be afraid of carbs like some woman, raw vegetables), lift some fucking weights and do cardio, basically just aspire to be something greater than you are right now.
The article says it all. The last man seeks complacency and comfort, and avoids challenges. You need to challenge yourself. Growth happens as a result of adversity. Learn new shit, become stronger and smarter, look at what dissatisfies you in life and just fucking change it. You have more control over your life than you let yourself believe.

What type of goblin do you have to be to use the term "soyboy" unironically?

Have ambitions and at least try for them, strive for something greater. It can be anything, a man without ambition isnt a man. Have you ever met that co worker or class mate who is just coasting along and doesnt really know what they want to do in life? Dont be that guy. Have something you want to do and actually attempt to do it, dont just think it.

I wish I could do that, I'm completely fucked. I even have low test and small testicles caused by varicocele. I might even be sterile. I literally don't feel like a man (although I'm not fat and not hairless and not micropenis'd but I am pretty weak for my age) it's horrible

Get good at something, you dont need to be physically strong to be good at everything.

No, because like everything else in the room it's only there to show off how much his life revolves around "nerd culture".

>FRENS?
>FOK U
>SEE GUYS WE FRENS NAO

>I wish I could do that
Bruv, nothing I listed is beyond your capabilities. In fact, lifting, doing cardio and eating properly are all natrual testosterone boosters. At least give it a shot. It doesn't matter if you'll never be Schwarzenegger, any amount of increased physical activity will make you better. And a proper diet goes a hell of a long way in improving your life. You'll feel better both physically and emotionally. And aside from the physical side of things, like the other user said, just get good at something. Find a hobby that you like and try to excel in it. Having the mindset that you're "completely fucked" is only going to keep you in whatever hole your'e in. You are not completely helpless. Take some control over your life. Never, ever let yourself get Stuckmannized