ITT: Synopsis of shows explained by Karl Pilkington

ITT: Synopsis of shows explained by Karl Pilkington

>So there's these three bears right
>Kind of like...the stooges and they live in San Francisco
>Except they ain't gay fellas they're actual bears

>and like....nothing happens

>so er...there's these kids right? and they go to live with their uh uncle or summat
>and one of the kids finds this like really old book in a er...mechanical tree
>and it says like all these...strange things happen. and its got like pictures of monsters and the like
>and then uh..the girl, yeah they're brother and sister, gets like carried away by all these little gnome fellas who want to shag her
>but the brother he like...gets them with a er leaf blower...and the uncle he like, opens a secret passage in a vending machine downstairs
>bit weird innit?

i feel like whatever this is, is painfully obvious, but I can't put my finger on it.

>Roight so dere's dis girl
>'cept she be a bug n' all dat
>Mebbe a spider wid wings since she got eight appendages
>Y'know
>But she fights monstahs with a fookin' Barbie toy
>Cheap plastic shit wot
>N' she has this Spanish boyfriend, or wha evah they call'm in the States
>"Mexicans, Karl. Or more properly, Hispanics."
>Mexican, wha evah
>What fokin' country is Hispania, anyway?
>"Espania. Spain, Karl."
>The fook Spain gotta do wit it?

Read that in his voice. Fucking gold.

>So there's this guy... Jack
>He's one of the asians
>And he goes to the future and there's this bad guy
>But he needs to be in the past to beat the bad guy
>And yeah, that's it

>Karl that's the biggest load of rubbish, why doesn't be just beat the bad guy in the future anyway? What difference does it make?

>Well, y'know, he's a samurai too.

>What does that have to do with anything? Because he's asian he has to be a samurai too?
>Why is he called Jack if he's asian anyway?

>...Well he has to beat him with a magic sword

>Oh right? And that's in the past?

>No, it's in the future too

>i'm done listening to this

oh that's good

its gravity falls ya dolt

These all pretty much work but Merchant and Gervias' interjections are sorely missing

He kind of has a point. Why does he need to beat him in the past?

Because if he just beats Aku then there's still thousands of years of tyranny Aku caused that could be prevented by going to the past and stopping him.

>So theres this large family with like 11 kids living in this one house
>theres this one fella name Lincoln or something like that, one boy out of 11 sisters
>and its pretty much showing what its like living with with this big family
>First off, if I was the husband and my wife wanted i'd be like "hold on a minute"
>Having 1-2 kids is alright, but having 11 is absolute mental
>it's just more and more mouths to feed, then you have to do teach the same kids the same thing each time.
>So its like you teach one of em' to drive somethin' like that, then you think its over and next thing you know the other kids wants to learn how to drive
>Even worse is that theres one sibling whose this prankster and ever April Fools she goes mental with the pranks.
>Again, if that was my family i'd leave. Don't want none of that, i'd let them raise themselves.

it's like they couldn't even be bothered to listen to the opening. it's all explained there.

To undo the future that is Aku

...

>so theres this little girl right? and shes just sleepin in bed and she wakes up and rolls over and theres a....man...with a tellyhead on her dresser

M>wait wait wait, can you repeat that please? a man with a tellyhead, what does that mean?

>it means he's got a tellyhead

G>but what is a tellyhead karl?!

>it means he's got a telly where his 'ead should be

M>right. ok. continue

>so yeah, theres a man with a tellyhead in her room and he asks her "do you want to be an 'ero?" and she says yes and they go up into the clouds-

G>this is absolute rubbish. she doesnt question him or anything, she just says yes and goes off with the strange man in her room who doesnt have a head

>no he does have a head, its just a television

G>THAT DOESNT MAKE SENSE, KARL! You can't have a television for a head, you'd be dead!

>well thats the thing, he's not a person hes a monster

M>so- so just makes it worse doesnt it? she just goes off into the clouds with a monster that jsut showed up in her room in the middle of a night

>no it wasnt the middle of the night, it was like 6 in the mornin

G> THAT DOESNT MAKE IT ANY BETTER, KARL!

>Theres this one fella named Dan, and he's just angry all the time
>And he's this poor fella trying to get by day by day
>...and thats it.

>>Oh, very compelling plot there, Karl.

>See, but here's what bothers me. First off, has he ever considered that the way he is the reason why he's poor
>He must be a horrible person to work with, always getting angry at things, he's just a downer
>If I we're his boss i'd say something like "you gotta change that attitude, I can't have you losing your cool on the job like tha'"
>Like, that's the thing inn'it? Maybe if you try and not be so angry all the time, maybe you'd have a better life.
>I get angry at things too, but you don't see me making everyone elses lives miserable
>Maybe he'd be happier if he just moved to somewhere empty like Alaska, or Antartica. Total quietness.

>So there's this girl whos muck'in about dressed as a squirrel.
>its a bit weird in'it?

ricky: >Sounds like a nutter. So Karl, what does this girl do all day dressed as a squirrel?

>I dunno, proablly see's how many nuts she can fit into her mouth every day. or she climbs into peoples back yards and steals food from the bird feeder.

so theres this bird innit,she all muscular and controls the elements and stuff

but then she was a lesbian

Karl doesn't cuss that much

sex with karl must be so fucking good for suzanne to stay with him

M> ok, ok. so they go up into the clouds and then what?
>theyre kind of going through the clouds and the girl asks if she's dead-
G>*laughing fit*
M> a reasonable question
G>she asks if shes dead!
>yeah, but shes not, its like, magic or something
>then the ellyhead man opens this door..in the clouds...and they go through and its like, another world. and then they er fall asleep by a lake
M>*laughs* sounds riveting, karl
G>and then thats it, is it? they just fall asleep by a lake and thats the end. thats the story
>well no, at some point the girl dies an-
G>SHE DIES!
>yeah, and the tele bloke sort of...half-dies... and then the rest of it is just like...them going around and er meeting the locals
G>wait wait wait, you just said they died. how are they going around greeting the locals if their dead? are they zombies now?
>no, the lil girl comes back to life because of dreams or summat..and the man was never alive to begin with, so he cant die
G>Karl are you listening to yourself? your spouting nonsense, this is absurd
>well i mean i didnt come up with the story, im just explaining
M>yes, youve always had trouble with that havent you, karl?

lol

Monkey news

>stealing my bit
nigga

Wild tangent straight away.
best

>So... Um... there are these kids, right?
>And they live in a T...
They live in what Karl?
>Just a big T
What do you MEAN, Karl?
>It's just a big letter. I dunno who's idea it was to put kids in a T, but it must cost council a fortune.
>Anyway, they live in a T and fight crimes
Karl ju - LET HIM FINISH
>Weird bit is there are no parents knocking about. Just kids in a T.
>And they're a bit freakish
>There's this one girl with no trousers on who goes a bit mental
HaHAAAA! Why does she have no trousers? What do you mean a bit mental?
>That's not even the really weird bit, there's this green kid, right?
A green kid Karl?
>Yeah, a green kid. You'll never guess what he turns into. Go on, guess. It's well good.
Just tell me Karl
>Little monkey fella...

So uh, you know how superheroes happen. Something goes wrong in a lab or somethin. And like someone gets superpowers.
Turns out, some kid with a lab made a superhero by accident.
So, this superhero goes around saving people, right. Crimefightin and all that stuff.
Well, he rescues someone from a burning building and the person is all 'thanks for saving me, but who are ya?'
So the guy takes off his hood and it turns out - Little monkey fella.

It's Samurai Jack.

Whats this?

i have questions too.

Dial M for monkey?

>mechanical

I can't imagine Pilks getting out the word mechanical without screwing it up a bit.

>written in cockney accent
What the fuck? That's not Karl.

>they ain't gay

panda is absolutely flaming

I have no idea what this is.

dont blame ya
i think theres like, 3 other people here who read it

Who the fuck is Karl Pilkington?

I'm looking at it now, I'll give it a read

He's an idiot abroad.

look up The Ricky Gervais Show on youtube. you wont regret it

So there's this place, an island

And they have a contest like a camp style contest

We put them in a ton of dangerous situations right

And they end up liking each other or hate each other

And we get more and more retarded

The host is also a douchebag

And there's like 6 seasons of this shit

But the 7th season has a different name and it's a race

Also we get Sup Forums and have them date a girl from /fa/ that becomes /x/ at some point

>Implying Karl knows anything about Sup Forums
>Implying he even understands how the internet works

got it