What the fuck was this movie...

What the fuck was this movie? They let this absolute madman of an indie director turn Star Wars into an experimental rumination on nihilism. Everything that's set up in TFA and the first half of TLJ is rendered completely pointless and a waste of time. I know Rian did this on purpose, but its not executed well. TFA may have been unoriginal but it was at least coherent.

I mean after all that buildup Snoke was literally JUST some dude who got his shit fucked in the end.

its literally alien 3 tier.

Press F to pay respects

Lazy writing at its worst, probably has something to do with the 57% audience score on Rotten Tomatoes

F

>LITERALLY ends with children playing with Star Wars toys
Movie is a master class on how to take nothing and make it bloated

Good. Star wars autists are a cancer and TLJ took a huge wet shit on them

You're saying it's the second best one? Because I agree with you.

>Rey's lineage
Haha literally noone
>Big Bad Snoke
Haha he died and contributed nothing
>Turned fucking Luke Skywalker into a nihilistic wannabe child murderer
Haha, I don't know shit about this character
>Entire Finn and Asian girl subplot is rendered actually and legitimately pointless and a waste of time
This one isn't funny, I'm actually mad about it.
>Phasma dies contributing nothing
>Luke dies for no reason

Fuck this movie, I know it always gets said but the Star Wars we love is dead.

Press S to spit on grave

Fanboys are only mad because their theory wasn’t right. I think it’s really ballsy and clever that the mysteries we were teased with during the marketing period and in the movie itself mean absolutely nothing. What a risk! Subverted!

>Fanboys are only mad because their theory wasn’t right
everything sums up to this. expect them to drown their depression in various shitty non-canon fanfic threads from now until Ep. IX

>Fanboys are only mad because their theory wasn’t right
mostly true, but TLJ should at least have followed up the setups of TFA in some manner instead of just doing whatever it did

...

Hmmm yes. we should have at the very least seen a rehash of Empire Strikes Back to fit in with the mold TFA did by literally copying ANH. I KNOW... HOW ABOUT A SECOND DEATH STA- uhh I man Starkiller base

I think we all know who the apex villain is

alien 3 is fucking sick my man

The fact that we got literally NOTHING about Snoke did bug me quite a bit.

"Hey you know this guy that casually toys with people that can fuck up Luke Skywalker's shit? Would you like to know more about him? His origins? Where he came from, why he is so powerful? Nah. He's going to get casually snuffed and nobody will even notice. No backstory. Nothing."

But thats what’s so cool about it man betcha didn’t see that coming haha

Isn't it obvious to everyone that snoke is just one of a clone and he'll be back next movie?

Wait, what?
Why would there be a next movie?
All conflicts have been resolved...

Indeed fellow redditor. I loved how instead of the character amounting to anything at all, Rian said "fuck you!" and killed him off to comedic effect. Now nobody's theory turned out to be correct because we know absolutely nothing about the character who was billed as the big bad for two 3 hour movies! Ebin troll!

Except Kylo Ren is still hellbent on killing the resistance?? Also the Jedi order was basically destroyed, what if anything will take it's place?

Yeah because the average person has such great taste

>Fanboys are only mad because their theory wasn’t right.
Fanboys are mad because they were MADE to theorize, you asshole. They set up Snoke as a mystery only to thow it all away. They brought back Hamill and Ford to make them die immediately. Don't pretend this wasn't intentional.

IX will have to pull some revolutionary shit if it doesn't want these movies to be panned forever.

I honestly don't mind that Rey turned out to be a nobody. But fucking Snoke needs an explanation, how was he running the whole show?

What the fuck was the point of his character? Why not make Kylo and Hux the head honchos?

It's the final movie in this trilogy. Rey and Kylo will fight and Kylo will either die or they'll end up fucking. The end.

>What the fuck was this movie?
jews jewing

This post is a joke

>I mean after all that buildup Snoke was literally JUST some dude who got his shit fucked in the end.

That's the point of the movie. Rey is just a child from junker losers yet she is also a powerful jedi. Broom boy as well. The point is that you don't need to be from some special bloodline or part of the skywalker story to use the force. Sup Forums watched too many out-of-context cellphone footage instead of watching the movie.

He feels like a Harry Potter character. Especially the name

it's like when sam mendes did a bond film and killed off m, blew up the classic aston-martin, made bond a twitchy alcoholic with too much mental and physical damage to do anything, and tossed a 40-minute scene in the middle of the movie in which every character talks about how ridiculous it is for sole agents to do intel gathering in a post-coldwar, post-911 world where computers can do anything

>>Turned fucking Luke Skywalker into a nihilistic wannabe child murderer

They didn't though. Luke never tried to kill Kylo. You didn't watch the movie you faggot.

The close up of his body was actually morbid.

He was going to but chose not to.

If I take the safety off my gun and point it at someone that means I didn't try to kill them?
ok

he felt the need to impulsively but when he took a second thought he realized it was stupid. By that time it was too late. Why do people think Luke would be a good master? He barely got any training or teaching at all. There's no way he would know what he's doing.

>in which every character talks about how ridiculous it is for sole agents to do intel gathering in a post-coldwar, post-911 world where computers can do anything

Showing contempt for your audience is good.

No. He said in an instant of hubris he thought he should end it but regretted even having the thought. He was filled with sadness that it would even cross his mind. Luke's character wasn't changed. He's not a child murderer or even a child attempted murderer. He was short sighted about teaching others which is what Yoda scolded him for while he tricked Luke into thinking he burned the books. Luke was so focused on what a Jedi was supposed to be, and getting things right that he neglected to allow room for mistakes and failure. He was too busy looking at the future of Ben to see what he could change in the present.

>They didn't though. Luke never tried to kill Kylo. You didn't watch the movie

AYO I DINDU NUFFIN I AIN EVEN KILL DAT HO I JUST PUT THE GUN IN HER MOUTH FUCK YOU DOIN I AIN'T EVEN PULL THA TRIGGA

>i watched a 144p cell phone video on daily motion from a korean theater. you don't get to tell me what the movie was about, I saw all i needed to!

thank you for this post

He didn't do that though. He turned off the safety and realized the thought of doing so was abhorrent. Kylo thought he was going to strike which is why Kylo's flashback had Luke raising the saber up. Yet the true flashback was Luke just standing there staring at the blade, thinking about how shitty it would be to kill his pupil.

>regrets nearly killing his nephew in a moment of weakness, exiles himself
>old mentor returns to let Luke know it’s okay to forgive and let go
>uses this insight to humiliate his mentally and physically battered nephew in front of all his friends as his last living act

>everyone hates how Luke's character was handled
>everyone making a big deal out of the milk scene
I like a lot of the Hobo Luke stuff but this movie suffers a lot from what the prequels did, a lot of tell don't show.

All the hobo shit with Luke is supposed to show us how far he's fallen and just how bad he gave up. The only problem is we aren't shown any of it, we just get short flashbacks and are told. Luke contemplates murdering his nephew, loses all his apprentices and loses faith in the one thing he's believed in all these years and we don't get to see any of it.

>Yoda's teaching did not consist in any kind of battle techniques but in how to fuck with people as a ghost.
>Luke "see you kid" to Kylo is a threat of what's to come.
>Snoke's guards being incapable of hitting anything and Kylo attacking the ground during the throne seen weren't bad direction, it was Luke fucking with them.
Really gives you a new point of view.

Top level post. Saved.

F

>Luke enslaving an indigenous species of alien space maids to clean up after him
Jesus Rian

Damn. That’s good.

accurate

Well now it'll be up to Rey with no teaching, no training, and some books she stole. Maybe Yoda, Obi-Wan, Anakin, and Luke will deign to show up as force ghosts to help her.

This is a reason why killing SNoke was the right call. Would have making him Palp2.0 been good? Really? You'd either have to downgrade Palp or accept a lesser villain. Making him different was the right call.

but that's a good movie

>All conflicts have been resolved...
Are you an idiot? Kylo Ren has become Supreme Leader, the First Order is weeks away from controlling most of the galaxy, and the entire resistance fits inside the Millennium Falcon.

>horrible storytelling decisions are just so smaaht
That's not the point at all, moron. We don't give a fuck who Snoke's parents were, we just want to know how he got into power and what he did to convince Kylo to join him.

>Mfw Disney hears the new appreciation for the prequels due to TLJ backlash and they decide to bring back Hayden as Rey's teacher.

>Fanboys are only mad because their theory wasn’t right
nice strawman
yeah its not all the endless reason they list
its this really simple thing, the max your brain can fathom

/r/ing a gif of luke drinking alien titty milk.
I need it

Shills working over time.

And where do they do for the next movie?

If you didn't like the film (unlike 93% of critics, so obviously you're wrong anyway), you are a white male supremacist who can't stand women heroes of color facing off against toxic masculinity

yes, because you should trust general audiences that gave justice league a 79% and a 4.1/5

thank you for this post

>Entire Finn and Asian girl subplot is rendered actually and legitimately pointless and a waste of time
>This one isn't funny, I'm actually mad about it.

Well at least they tried-oh wait, there is no “try”, do or do not. I guess they did not. Fuck.

>constantly sends assassins after his own apprentice for shits and giggles
i lost but also the chad way of training your apprentice, epsecially compared to Snoke's virgin method of verbally bullying Ben boy

If you told me to write Episode 9 I'd basically just rip off MacBeth. Have it be about Kylo Ren successfully taking over the Empire but now just going fucking insane.

Rey and the Resistance can just stand in as MacDuff.

The only primary complain I can hear is "Why are you making the movie about the Villian Rey is the star" Well in all sincerity Rian utterly concluded Rey's arc, she got tempted to the Dark Side and is now considered a Jedi by Luke. There's not enough plot for her character to be the lead. The tragedy of Kylo Ren could be fun to watch though. You could have him literally be "haunted" by the ghosts of Snoke and Luke.

I assume that in IX they're just going to have force ghost Luke show up and basically give Rey marching orders by telling her that he still sensed good in Kylo Ren but since he's dead Rei is the only one who can find Kylo and turn him back to the light. I can't think of any other way to make any conflict involving Kylo interesting.

what about force ghost Sheev telling Kylo that he still sensed evil in Rey?

F
Rest in peace, Admiral.

>only wrote 5 films and 1 tv episode before TLJ
>only directed 9 films and 3 tv episodes before TLJ
>some of them were student 'short films'
He must of licked Kathleen Kennedy's pussy really good.

>Brings darth vader back from the dark side
>"No, you can't bring kylo back from the darkside Rey, also, I'm a child killer now."
Epic.

>Star wars autists are a cancer and TLJ took a huge wet shit on them

True, though I did find that Admiral Tumblrhair and her "ummm no, sweetie" dialogue was a bit much.

If the prequels hadn't been made Sheev would be a mystery too. He was given no backstory in the OT.

>He was given no backstory in the OT.

There was a good chunk of mysterious hype surrounding him. Why would they feed Serkis his backstory? Idiot.

Yeah, trust the paid/biased critics instead that gave this mess a 94%

jesus christ people are brainless

People don't care much about sheev because he's just your typical big bad guy.

Snoke on the other hand, manage to rally the remnants of empire and rebuild them to become stronger than ever. He came out of nowhere and did all of this, of course people are going to be curious about his origin.

Yeah we should probably let the critics decide on this one, they say it's actually pretty good! Actually the best Star Wars movie ever! Those guys are real film connoiseurs, right?

>People don't care much about sheev

The culmination of the Rule of Two who successfully trolled the entire galaxy from the ground up. Snoke picked off the scraps.

You're absolutely insane.

But that simply goes against the character, you deluded retard! That why people are mad, Luke was the only guy in the galaxy who had faith in Vader and saw the good in him, in what was literally the most evil and feared man in the galaxy after the fucking Emperor, you are telling me he considered killing his fucking nephew just because he sensed some evil in him?

Sheev didn't need a backstory, he was the emperor, his motive and character were obvious. He would be fine even without the prequels. Snoke on the other had was deliberately left unclear so people would speculate, then dropped off.

People who keep repeating this argument need to undestand that having a backstory or not doesn't equate having a role in the story.

>Phasma dies contributing nothing

That's actually good because she was never interesting in any way. The only reason she existed was so that there could be a shiny chrome toy.

No that's not actually good, what would be good is of they actually turned her into a real character, don't you think? Fucking retard, why even bother creating an interesting lookin character with an appropriately casted actor, that ties in with the story of one of the supposed main characters, if you are just going to give her two lines and kill her off in like her second scene ever?

Alien 3 did that, but really well. It was also a good direction not to continue with the family friendly tone for a horror series. This is both a clusterfuck of a movie and a retarded decision for Star Wars.

>No that's not actually good, what would be good is of they actually turned her into a real character, don't you think?

Nah fuck off she's a side character. Stop buying into disney's marketing machine and getting attached to shitty side characters, they just want to milk as much money out of you as possible with comic and merch sales.

Imagine if the PT had come out but not featured Palpatine in any way. That would be stupid.

But that's exactly the situation with Snoke and the OT. The problem is that what would be the backstory for Snoke (the OT) *does* exist. It's just that he's not in it. This is obviously because George never planned for anything like Snoke to exist, but it still leaves people asking where the hell he came from.

>implying she won't be back

>Space Game of Thrones character dies
>This butthurt
I thought you game of throne cucks liked pointless deaths.

no its ninja turtles 3 tier

Your final two digits reveal a lot about you.

No, it's Resurrection tier.

You can bet there will be lots of retcons in Episode IX. I'm also sure Snoke will come back.

mines better, noticed you reworked yours after it BTFO you last time

The funny thing is Boba Fett became popular by accident, but now Disney is trying to force feed us a new Boba Feet and it sucks.

I don't buy any "merch" so you got it wrong, pal. I just want a good movie, her being a side character does not invalidate her from being a more fleshed out character and a foil to Finn. Her death should have happened in the third one.

It doesn't just exist in 7, THEY LITERALLY HYPE IT UP.

"Kylo you need to complete your training"

And they did NOTHING with that in 8. That's why people thought Snoke was shit.

LEARN TO ART YOU SHIT

I think Disney wanted a controversial movie that baffled and confused audience, so that they can pretend they're doing Star Wars right again with IX, and get the hype train rolling.
This way they don't even have to make a movie thats better than TFA. It just has to look good compared to this shit.

And the occlumancy plot.
What the fuck.

>JUST
>Snoke
>JOKE

This is surprising. Apparently he was writing the script while The Force Awakens was still being filmed. That's a pretty good way to ensure your follow up film is shit.

"I wrote the script before ‘Force Awakens’ was even really made. They were shooting it while I was making the script. So I got the best of both worlds. I got to just personally react to the story and the script and what I was seeing the actors bringing to the parts in the dailies, and I got to put that personal reaction into it without trying to filter all the world’s reaction to it.”

variety.com/2017/film/podcasts/playback-podcast-rian-johnson-star-wars-the-last-jedi-1202639894/