ITT: We write the opening scene of episode IX

ITT: We write the opening scene of episode IX

>Kylo Ren heads to Vader's castle on Mustafar to claim his inheritance

>He forgets to check his privilege and Admiral Gender Studies haunts his dreams

>Rey is there, and they embrace for a moment.

That is, until she pulls out her blaster!

>Rey now even stronger in the force than any Jedi before her

But then Snoke's black lightsaber pierces Kylo's head.

Rey and Snoke have sex and have many children.

>Kylo knows this, but he is not afraid.

>A long time ago in a galaxy far far away...

>"No!"
>It was but a nightmare.

Star Wars Episode 9: Hux of The Rebellion

Following the coronation of Emperor Kylo, nephew of Luke Skywalker, Supreme Admiral Hux took half of the empires forces and declared open rebellion. Now with the help of new Jetis will Hux defeat Kylo

>Five years after The Last Jedi

>everyone sit in the falcon
>cgi leia comes to rey
>"you are more powerful than my brother ever was, now you need to fix his mistakes and remember rey - the force is female"

Opening Title:
Star Wars : Rise of the Femforce.

>*the audience claps and screams*

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS QUEEEN SLAAAY

>The nightmare was her embrace with Kylo.

>The movie starts with Rey just as she's about to decapitate Hux
>"It's time for the patriarchy to end"

Space Hillary doesn't actually die in the suicide mission and is now in a wheelchair commanding the jedi

The audience claps as the scroller runs down the screen.
>>everyone knows this pile of shit is aweful but pretends to like it.
Rey swings her staff like a girl after awkwardly running to stage right.
>>(Everyone pretends she is a super awesome warrior)
Fin and Poe embrace in a steamy passionate kiss
>>(everyone pretends this is not disgusting revolting and horrific)
White Male enters scene
>>(everyone boos and hisses, some get up and shout each demonstrating their party loyalty.)
Film ends
>>everyone claps. Another great star wars.

we

10 year time gap. Rey made a small Jedi temple based on Grey Jedi (selfish idiots who just like waving lightsabers around without any commitment)

Kylo Ren is in exile, after Admiral Hux got pissed and revived Snoke (Darth Plageuis). He meets the ghosts of the Skywalkers.

you have the limited edition deodorant droid. i am jealous

They fight...

...

...

>CGI Leia is stuck in a T-pose and talks with a Microsoft Sam voice

kek

What is this thread

>A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away
STAR WARS THEME PLAYS
>EPISODE IX
>THE FORCE IS FEMALE
>LUKE SKYWALKER HAS RETURNED TO HIS HOME PLANET, BUT HE DIED ON THE WAY THERE
>THE SAME THING HAPPENED TO LEIA
>THE FIRST ORDER IS NOW THE EMPIRE, AND HAS BUILT THE DEATH STAR BUT IT’S BUILT INTO A STAR
>REY HAS MASTERED THE FORCE AND NOW FLIES THROUGH SPACE TOWARDS THE STAR
>ONLY SHE CAN STOP KYLO REN, AND SAVE THE GALAXY

Kino

>opens with a big looming star destroyer
>flying slowly towards a planet
>it explodes because someone used hyperspace to ram a droid driven x-wing through it

Reylo

yeah idk why they didn't mass produce that figure.

Rey awakens with a gasp in a cabin on Aich-To and wipes beads of cold sweat from her forehead.
"The Dark Side is strong here but I've never seen it overtake someone like it did you" says a familiar voice.
It's Luke.
"Learning how to resist it is the first step to becoming a real Jedi."
Rey looks around confusedly "I dreamt you died" she says to Luke.
"I had nightmares about it here at first, too. When they stop, that's how you'll know you've gotten stronger. Now; what's your name and why are you here? You collapsed right after you showed me my father's lightsaber."

>Star Wars Episode IX
>The Force is Female
>Luke Skywalker, after sacrificing himself to save the resistance from the white patriarchy, is trapped in the force ghost dimension with the infamous intergalactic terrorist, Yoda.
>Immediately after the events of the last film, Ren has amassed a new fleet of capital ships, each double the size of the Supremacy. He has also constructed a solar system full of Starkiller bases and plans to destroy every planet in the galaxy in order to destroy the light side of the force completely.
>Rey awaits with fellow resistance fighters on a secret resistance base for something to happen.
>Cut to Rey practicing her force powers. She's effortlessly using the force to lift up a mountain while flying.