You have one night to take out Kevin McAllister.
>He has 48 hours of prep time
>You have four days of prep time
>You cannot do anything that would alert the police
>You do not have access to anything that couldn't be plausibly obtained in the American suburbs in the 90s
Could you do it? Keep in mind that Kevin is a tactical genius who takes pleasure in torturing criminals
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>cut the phone lines
>skip his house entirely
>he falls asleep waiting for me to come
>next day
>his mom shows up at the house before he wakes up
>she sets off all the traps and dies
>meanwhile i'm rich as fuck
It would be beyond easy to obtain like 20 molotov cocktails and burn his house down
>>You cannot do anything that would alert the police
Also, Kevin could escape via his zipline
Just simply walk in and smother him with a a pillow. I have two days of prep time before he even starts getting ready for me.
That would alert the fire department, brainlet :^)
I think the implication in OP's scenario is that you MUST break into the house in exactly 4 days.
Kevin starts prepping on day 3
Chlorine gas in the chimney and in the A/C unit. See ya lil shit
Just bait him with some meth
Call multiple pizzas to his house at varying times. After the second or third I dress up as the pizza guy and wait for him to open the door. After that I grab him.
>He has 48 hours of prep time
>You have four days of prep time
Okay, I knock on his door the first day and when he answers say his Mom sent me over to talk to him. After he lets me in the house I grab him and strangle him to death.
Wasn't really that hard to do OP
See
>Motorcycle Helmet, jacket and pads
>Steel Toed boots
>Hockey Pads
>Handgun
Paint cans and irons do nothing. BB guns do nothing. Blowtorch does nothing. Motorcycle gauntlets on hands.
I wait for his family to come home hold them hostage and then rape them all infront of a restrained kevin McAllister then kill them all
You could just drive your car straight into the house and get to him before anyone thinks of calling the cops
I don't give a shit about implications. OP didn't state as such so therefore Kevin is kill
just pump mustard gas into the house, through the vent so i don't even have to set off his little window traps. and no amazon yet so he can't get a gas mask hahaha.
Still counts as alerting the police though, I guess.
If he bails for the treehouse as soon as you drive through the house, you're fucked
Easy, pump carbon monoxide in from an exhaust pipe through a hose via the doggy door.
Offer him his very own cheese pizza.
I like the carbon monoxide idea, but through the doggy door seems obvious. He'd see it and get rid of it.
I wouldn't even use the handgun. Through some wacky set of circumstances he could get it away from you.
I go would go in pretty much the same way, but also have stab proof vests and a gas mask. Burst through the front door and use homemade smoke grenades. Make sure the floor isn't sawed out or something so I don't fall into the basement. In my off hand I have a machete duct taped to it so it can't be taken from me. Dominant hand I have a sap-glove.
Goodish plan but easily foiled if he's watched any rubbish and is hiding under the covers
1. Intercept pizza delivery man
2. poison the pizza
3. deliver it
wow an entire thread dedicated to how you would kill a child.
They told me this place was a messed up cesspool of terrible human beings but I didn't think it would be this bad.
No need to say anything I'll show myself out thank you.
Also seek help please.
They made like three movies about it.
Whenever the fire department is called, the police are also called, brainlet :^)
...
Cyanide in the pizza Thats genius
>take out
I thought like with a choke hold or just take him out of the house and you win. Why would you immediately go to killing? What the fuck dude?
Get out my TEC-9 and buradatatatatat
#GucciGang
>you bring the machete back to swing it at him
>your machete arm gets stuck to a huge magnet that he had placed on the wall just for such an attack
>he hits you in the nuts with a baseball bat
>you forgot to wear a cup
Try again
Did you not see the movie? They were trying to kill that little fucker the whole time
Dress up like Peter Pan and offer to take him to Neverland
fpbp
I'd stalk his family, kidnap his mother and rape her to death. Send pics of it to his address. He'll either kill himself or be so traumatized he'd become vulnerable.
>mix 50/50 solution of vinegar
>climb on roof in middle of night
>pour mixture down the chimney
>wait until toxic chlorine and chloramine vapors either kill kevin, or drive him out of the house
>if he flees the house, shoot him with pic related as he blindly stumbles out in to the yard
Stick my glock in his mouth and make a brain slushy
>mix 50/50 solution of vinegar
fuck, supposed to be vinegar and bleach
>implying he wont trake you down and go all law abiding citizen on your ass
Ok same plan but with mixed ammonia and chlorine, even coming near it will kill him unless he has a gas mask
This. Catch him going to the grocery and just run him over.
Since when? They said the kid was scared. Even at the end they just said they were going to do everything he did to them and bite his fingers off. Only in 2 did they threaten to shoot him because he already called the cops and they had nothing to lose other than the chance of running into him again when they escape.
1. I meant bleach not chlorine
2. Holy shit why am I trying to kill poor Kevin, I revoke my plan
Let him be, it won't bring his whore of a mother back. I'll make sure to tell him all the details when we meet :^)
ITT: Retards who are going to get BTFO by Kevin
The idea of having someone akin to a Kull warrior from SG1 exclusively attempting to kill Kevin McAllister has me grinning like an idiot.
>wait at ice rink
>attempt 360 over under one legged flopper
>cut his head clean off with my left heel
...
>do everything to him he did to them
>to a 10 year old
>not lethal
Burn the house down.
1)call child protective services and have them take him away
2) rob the house after they leave
Name ONE thing that would kill him
Why
Make him choke to death on my cock.
CPS would bring police.
Literally anything the crooks do would alert the police because Kevin could just call them whenever he wants, so you'd have to cut the phone lines (also simple).
So:
1) cut phone lines
2) burn house down
>dress up like Michael Jackson, who was still alive at the time
>knock on the door and tell him my car broke down and I need to use his phone
>do a sick gravity lean (which I had practiced for hours during the prep time) and grab my crotch to help convince him
>he lets me in to use the phone
>wait until he turns around, hit him in the back of the head with a roll of quarters
>pull down his pants and rape him on the kitchen floor
At that point I'm so invested, I don't want to break character so
Just shoot him.
>b-but the police!
The entire neighborhood is gone. No one is going to be close enough to the shot to be worried about it.
I'm thinking one of those paint cans could Smash his face in
Threaten Kevin with Fuller.
>you shoot what turns out to have been a cardboard cutout
>the bullet severs a rope, activating a rube goldberg machine that ends in your head being struck by a heavy object
>Kevin sets you on fire with his blowtorch and you burn to death
Nothin personnel
>Uncle Frank is in the bathroom taking a shower. He says if I walk in there and saw him naked, I'd grow up never feeling like a real man. Whatever that means.
What DID Uncle Frank mean by this?
>buy puppy
>chain puppy to tree just outside the back porch
>wait for him to take the bait
>goldberg
HOLY SHIT Sup Forums WAS RIGHT ALL ALONG AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Uncle Frank was implying that his cock was so much bigger than Kevin's that Kevin would literally feel emasculated for the rest of his life
>it was a different time
force that old man he was scared of to knock on door and jiggle the nob and stuff. kevin likely hides under bed cause despite his confidence against burglars as he has deep fear for creepy old men (past experience?). break in while he his hiding and subdued with fear. cake walk
He meant if the little shit won't stop barging in on him in the shower he's going to rape him just to teach him a lesson, and after that he'll never fell like a real man.
>you go to throw a molotov
>Kevin shoots it in your hand with his BB gun
>your whole arm is lit ablaze and you run comically around while in excruciating pain
Kevin - 1
Faggot - 0
Except he doesn't open the door, and just counts to 10 before he pumps your gut full of lead.
>you climb onto the roof to put in the gas
>Kevin pulls a rope which releases a shit load of fire logs that roll down and knock you off the roof
Nice try, faggot
Too bad you didn't see the ice patch he put near the window vent, pathed so that you slip and fall and slide into a bramble bush
He's just a kid, the easiest thing to do is just wait until he gets out of the house to do groceries and say you saw a kid wandering around without his parents. The cops will definitely bring him home, find his parents aren't there, and then put him up in a motel somewhere else.
No cops
>you go to cut the phone line
>he's electrified it, so when touch it you get shocked so badly that you momentarily turn into a scary skellington with hair
It's like you're not even trying.
I think it's easy enough to use a payphone and it would be basically untraceable.
Send out a force projection to set off any traps and weaken him
Go in with my real body and slaughter the younglings
>he convinces the cops that his parents are just at the store or something with cuteness
Too bad the force projection killed you
But I'm using a catapult, moron.
walk past the obvious traps and punch him in the head
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I'd pretend to be a misunderstood homeless person to gain his trust and then take him out the second he lets his guard down (turtle dove dagger to the heart).
>electrifying the phone line
I don't think you know how phone lines work, when I go to cut it there's going to be a fried corpse of a kid there already.
Best part is I have a whole 4 days of prep but he only gets 2, and I don't think Kevin can fix a cut phone wire.
holy shit I made this years ago!
lel
Vinny the Dog> Brian the Dog
Perch in a tree with a sniper rifle, wait until he goes to sleep, and shoot him through the window
ez-pz
...
I dress up as a realtor and put a big FOR SALE sign on his front yard. I'll then bring some of my crew as potential house buyers who will look disappointed and angry that my keys wouldn't work in the door.
The door opens and Kevin likely gives a story about how his folks are laid up with fruitcake poisoning and he's the "Man of the House". Have my crew brush past with me apologizing to them and generally making a big scene asking Kevin if I could use the phone while one of them asks to use a bathroom.
So the place is cased properly and despite Kevin's clever ruses the third crewman might be able to verify if the McAllisters' are truly home.
Once the place is cased get cut the phone lines. Since there's a kid there, alone maybe child protective services could come looking? Anything to make the home seem temporarily inhospitable for a kid to be by himself. Perhaps some shattered front windows to let the cold in?
As for further meta knowledge as to Kevin's trap skills I'd be shit out of luck there. If I was a fully equipped movie infiltrator from the chans I'd likely have some sort of improvised breeching kit for the back door.
So yeah the kid wins unless we get enough intel and keep our shit together during the infiltration phase.
That was just Kevin dressed up as a tree, and he stabs a knife into your taint.
>camping
Gay
>you go to fire catapult
>Kevin has his own catapult already on the roof
>he fires a shit load of lit firecrackers out of it, they land exploding all around you
>you're jumping around and shouting comically in a panic, meanwhile a firecracker lands on all your molotovs and burns down your catapult
Leave the Hellraiser box in his possession. He isn't escaping the cenobites.
I'd call in an assist from a little friend of mine.
You're underestimating Kevin. With prep time his plot armor is near Batman levels.
>as you're climbing into the tree, he pulls rope attached to a paintcan which swings and connects with your face, comically knocking you out of the tree
Next
>implying I don't have guys hidden in three other trees as backups
What is this rope tied to? The sky?
Burn his house down with him inside
>he's on the roof
Explain how he's mounted a catapult on his slanted tile roof? If he's just on the roof shooting at my molotovs I'll just wear my airsoft mask and shoot him with a regular firearm.
But not really, because he gets caught in each film. In fact, the only thing that stops the Sticky Bandits (two morons) is an actual adult. So when they inevitably show up (the real plot armor) you just shoot them too.