GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY VOL. 2 REVIEW: REPETITIVE SEQUEL IS ‘MID-LEVEL MARVEL’

cbr.com/guardians-of-the-galaxy-vol-2-review/

Is Marvel finished? Are people finally waking up?

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>cbr

No.

>Marvel NOW 2 bombing
>Iron Fist savaged by critics
>Secret Empire destroyed by a Batman/Flash crossover and basic Superman issue
>Memes of the Galaxy is just 2 hours of jokes
2017 is amazing

Curious, what's "high-level Marvel"?

wait cbr was actually critical of marvel
am I losing it

>CBR criticising the MCU
What the fuck is happening?

>It's a "if marvel didn't create a masterpiece of a movie with a 99% average then it means "people are waking up" and the movie is a flop" bait.

Yamn.....

Yes, that's what makes it so surprising.

Blade 2

Well, from the looks of things it will get a lower score on Rotten than the first one. Still will end Certified fresh though. And will break at least one record on box office reports based on hype.

But I don't give a flying piece of shit to be honest, the Guardians comics are ruined forever and the movie had a big part on making it happen. I would wish the worst to Gunn and Feige just like I used to wish the worst to Bendis and Humphries, but why bother. I've moved on.

So whatever, I don't give a damn.

>CBR bashing something Marvel

I agree with you.

I think it's funny how top critics and "critics" (bloggers) opinions differ on RT. Also, what constitutes Critics Consensus? Never got that.

I remember when entertainment reporters were going wild that GotG2 supposedly had a perfect test audience score. LEL

>he fell for the "top critics" meme

>The movie will make fans happy, very happy, and it will reduce everyone else to a mass of cooing, goo-goo-ing ninnies, all in the thrall of a character named Baby Groot.

This is from a positive review but it sounds retarded.

I like salad with a hint of shitposting.

It IS retarded.

NO MARVEL IS AS GREAT AS EVER YOUR JUST JEALOUS 'CAUSE YOU KNOW BLUNDER WOMAN AND JUST LEAGUE US ALONE ARE GONNA BE ROTTEN AND HATED BY EVERYONE LIKE ALL THE OTHER DSHITTY MOVIES

FR*CK OFF BACK TO Sup Forums

Honestly, fatigue might be setting in on both the audience and production sides. I trust them to finish strong though, Infinity War will probably be above average again.

The best review of GotG was Sequart's. I hope they do the same with GotG2.

>burgers will have to wait a fucking week to go see this flick
kek

Gunn! You traitorous slut!

>Secret Empire destroyed by a Batman/Flash crossover and basic Superman issue
This sounds retarded. Even if Marvel comics have been going down the drain, there's still hype surrounding Cap Hydra

the batman flash crossover is about the button

>there's still hype surrounding Cap Hydra
No there isn't.

I'm not mad at Gunn, he made a movie he wanted. I'm mad at Marvel though for thinking that should be the be-all end-all representation of those characters, and their total market oversaturation of the past 2 years.

Summer 2014 I was all about that Redbone, but after seeing fucking Rocket and Groot and their catchphrases all over the place I got sick of it pretty fast.

Sweet summer child, we have retailers everywhere saying that the SE sales are really soft. Big Bang was one of the latest and under an hour ago they were lamenting that they should have kept their original order amount before Marvel hyped them up to order more. They also have customers telling them not to pull any tie-ins for their regular series.

Oh no. One of the 3 Guardian fans in existence before the movie got made is mad because it became popular and "casualized"

>One of the 3 Guardian fans in existence before the movie
More like four!

Still it will get a 8/10 and 900M$, why? Because normies and critics like to eat shit.

>Secret Empire destroyed by a Batman/Flash crossover and basic Superman issue
>IT'S REAL
LOL
O
L
bleedingcool.com/2017/04/23/bleeding-cool-bestseller-list-23rd-april-2017-batman-superman-beat-secret-empire-redneck-monstress-rocket-chart/

Is BC top ten list calm down, lets wait for the real numbers.

Truer words were never spoken.

CBR is Marvel comics shill to the max. Marlel wants the movies to fail since Feige kicked them to the curb.

SE 0 is lootcrated

>a ride based on this movie is the reason why Disneyland's Tower of Terror got shut down, because they actually thought it would be a runaway success to justify taking away an iconic ride

It still hurts.

Of course it is, fucking disgusting practices... When was the last time Marvel didn't "bump" the numbers

holy shit 2 comic guardians fans in one thread quick someone call Guinness

I have no reason to go to Disneyland anymore.

>the Guardians comics are ruined forever

Nothing in comics is ruined forever. All books are just one good run away from being great again.

Except the X-Men. They're fucked.

MCU has no ability to balance tragedy and comedy, the tenants of good cinema anymore. They're frightened of things getting "too serious"and so every moment must be undermined by a joke or a quip. They're the kind of people who instead of making "The Empire Strikes Back" after a "A New Hope," would have simply made "A New Hope 2 aka the Force Awakens"

Wasn't the under-performance (critically and commercially) of Avengers: Age of Ultron supposed to end Marvel forever?

If GotG2 underperforms Feige will just find another scapegoat like he scapegoated Perlmutter for Avengers 2, and maybe use it as an excuse not to make Captain Marvel 2.

>Spider-Man 2
>Blade 2
>Logan

>All books are just one good run away from being great again.
Good luck with that while the movies keep the Guardians on the 0-3 years old section of Marvel.

>muh retarded sex jokes
yeah, that only makes it worse and they don't even make it to the comics.

>>Reason number 1 why I don't trust's CBR's opinion

I think the worst part about this one is just how blatantly shallow Disney has been with Baby Groot. They know retards and little kids love stupid cute stuff like this so I guess from a marketing standpoint it makes sense to push him hard, but man, is it disconcerting.

>JJ better than anything
kek

Why would I want Marvel to end forever? I just want people to criticize their movies like every other one. I want to enjoy the new stuff but every character is a stand up comedian and it's very off putting. Even more annoying people are not just liking it, but fucking LOVE it. ''Haha he said poopoo, lol baby Groot!''

Is it possible they could take the Guardians stuff out if the movie does bad?

>if the movie does bad?
As if, nigger. BvS and SS both got fucked by critics and ended up doing 800m+. Iron Fist was fucking by critics and its been the most binge watched Netflix series as of 2017.
The critics aren't even being harsh on Vol. 2, this shit is gonna make 1b at the very least.

You and I both know it won't. Even if the critics trash it, it's going to make a shitload of money and in Disney's eyes that'll make it a success to justify keeping the ride around for good.

>doesn't get a perfect score
>THE CRITICS HATE IT!!!!!
Classic Sup Forums.

Where did I imply that in the slightest? I said IF it gets trashed.

>Critics eat up Marvel quips
>Critics hate smart movies like pic related

Why does it have to be this way anons?

If it underperforms I'm just going to go ahead and blame Mantis.

By implying there is the possibility of critics trashing the movie when reviews are already out and are majorly positive.
There's no "if", critics aren't trashing anything, it just didn't blew them out of the water like everybody was expecting it to do after so much hype and marketing.

>Critics eat up Marvel quips
>86%
THEY HATE GUARDIANS NOW! TIME TO MOVE SHIP TO BASED DC!

>how dare you for even thinking in hypotheticals and not mindlessly sucking Marvel off like the rest of us

You guys make it really difficult to be a fan of these movies.

What part of "reviews are already out" do you not understand, user?
Why would you wonder hypothetical scenarios after the outcome already happened? especially when this thread was made for that very reason.

Why does it bother you so much when all it was was a way of answering that other user's question about why Disney won't bring Tower of Terror back? I'm not even thinking about the movie's quality or how audiences will like it because I don't even plan on seeing it. All I meant was that even if general audiences don't end up liking it and the critics who didn't get advanced screenings hate it, it's still going to make enough money for Disney to justify its presence in the parks.

That's it. Please tell me how I'm shitposting just by bringing up a common fact about how companies work.

>Are people finally waking up?
>86% in rt
>projected for a 150 million opening
I wish, maybe after Avengers 4. No more ironman or cap i think.

It doesn't "bother" me. What bothers me is you trying to save face when it's obvious you're completely wrong like how you're shamelessly moving goalposts now.
In short, you're retarded. You're retarded for a hypothetical scenario, when shit already happened mind you, as your "example" and keep arguing for the sake of it after being rectified multiple times.

Who is the villain even supposed to be?

None of which were made by Marvel Studios. Really makes you think.

Yeah this shit pisses me off more than anything. I don't go to Disneyland to see capeshit and nuStar Wars, I go there to see Mickey Mouse and classic animated features. Fuck Disney.

Two villains.
Sequel bait Villain Space Nazis who aren't dealt with, and Starlord's Dad who gets killed by Starlord's spirit animal, Pacman

Ego is the villain? Lameeeeeeeeee

someone post the copypasta, you know the one

I enjoyed it, but the first one was honestly better.
>I agree with CBR reviews
>I agree with CBR reviews saying a Marvel product is not great
Truly the end of times

Also does anyone know why they teased Jeff Goldbluhm only to cut his scenes in the movie?

The normies are finally waking up from this cape kino bullshit nightmare. Hopefully, we can get serious superhero movies that invoke insightful conversation vs. dull popcorn flicks that just rehash jokes and quips over and over.

It's going to be hilarious when this shit flops. Once again confirming why the man-children who still read comic books are barely more than marginalized caricatures of themselves. But instead of admitting you've become the most beta of betas, you'll complain for years how "good it was" and how "tasteless" the general public is in desperate attempts to try and divert away the soul crushing realization that you've wasted your lives on mind-numbing drivel originally designed to entertain teenage boys.

For a moment I thought I changed dimensions because I couldn't find this shit.

>went up by 1%
90%+ here we go!

>Starlord's spirit animal, Pacman
what did he mean by that?

Gotg, a MCU side series is considered mid
BvS, a DEU major film is considered worse than Pre MCU Marvel movie Elektra
Justice League may beat Elektra slightly, but will definately be worse than The Punisher 2 Electric Boogaloo.

Peter finds out that Ego killed his mom on purpose and is the reason for her deathSo he summons a gaint pixel Pac-Man to kill him

>Starlord's Dad who gets killed by Starlord's spirit animal, Pacman

People shat on Pixels for something similar. People will defend this because it's ok when Marvel does it.

Are you fucking serious?

That's fucking retarded. It's like they took the first GOTG and amped up the retarded parts.

The writing was on the wall with dancing Groot at the end of the first movie.

I don't care about the movie but I really want to see how Uatu looks.

POST-CREDITS SCENES:
>humorous sequence with Yondu's Vice-captain trying to make the arrow work through whistling and accidentally stabbing Drax

>Stallone, Charlie-27 and the other Ravagers groups' captains meet and get the band back together to "go steal something"

>crazier Ayesha reveals she created another life form like them, except much more powerful, who's developing in a tech coccoon. She calls it "Adam". Also Debicki has sex hair and that's important

>Groot is now teenaged and in his edgy phase, plays vidya alone in his room shedding vines when Peter reprimends him and says he now understand how Yondu felt to raise him

>joke sequence with Stan Lee annoying the Watchers to the point that they leave as he's still speaking about his adventures (as seen earlier in the movie)

Not that guy and the second thing doesn't happen directly as consequence of the first, but that's the gist of it and a thing that happens, yes

Unfortunately that effect is definitely in play in the movie

Exactly like in the comic books, except the Watchers we see are not named and very quicky seen. Still the cape was awesome

>edgy teenage Groot
Jesus Christ just kill that abomination already.

winner soldier

There's more hype about The Button. Hydra Cap sells like shit and just regular old Flash sells over 20k more issues

Good for them. It was shit. Drax is just a retard now

çrįñgë

I wouldn't be surprised if Batman still manages to beat it. People love those lenticular covers

>BvS
>Smart

I'll wait for release date. I'm sure there's lots of mommy blogs that will raise the RT to 95%

He doesn't use it to kill him it's just used once during the fight with Ego and it's a reference to earlier in the film

betting old ravagers steal warlock's cocoon.

I'm surprised no one else has mentioned shills yet.

Every other typical post has happened

...theres no defending something this utterly stupid. its worse than the dance off. my god i hopem marvel FINALLY loses their internet brigade. can they really defend such a fucking retarded scene?

the only film critic whose opinion of this i'll take seriously is Walter Chaw

Marvel stopped filling their retainers.

Maybe they'll finally ban Dan Slott next.

Disney Park in general is fucking retarded.

>Let's remodel or create a new attraction making it super date due to said Ip its based on being a passing thing rather than make it timeless.
>Let's continue with this expensive and super-long project. Everyone still loves Avatar, right?

I'm a MCU fan and I always thought the first one was highly overrated. Looks like this one is the same shit, I'm happy they're being called out at least.

Hopefully this makes them hire a better screenwriter for GotG 3, Gunn is pure shit when it comes to writing.

>all of this
>they managed to make DANCE OFF BRO look better in comparison
You really have to try to suck

What happened to the near 100% test audience score?